men-and-dogs

Ducky: Nice day for a walk, Daddy.

Me: Yes it is.

Ducky: And yet here we stand; not walking.

Me: It’s still a walk. We’re just pausing for a picture.

Ducky: Technically that means it was a walk. Past tense.

Me:

Ducky: And while the use of the word “pause” implies a continuation of the walking in the future, there are no…

Me: Just look at the camera, please.

Ducky: Hey, look! It’s The Lady!

Me: Yes it is.

Ducky: I forgot she came out for a pause with us too.

Me: … 

Ducky: And she has a camera.

Me: Yes she does.

Ducky: I like The Lady.

Me:

Ducky: But you know what I don’t…

Me: You don’t like cameras.

Ducky: I do not like cameras. They make that bright light. Hurts my peepers.

Me: Once. Seven years ago the flash goes off once and you still can’t forget.

Ducky: Well, technically that’s only one dog year ago.

Me: That’s not how that works.

Ducky: Who’s to say?

Me: If you look at the camera for just a few seconds so she can get a picture we can get back to walking.

Ducky: We could get back to walking regardless. 

Me:

Ducky: Why is she taking the picture, anyways? Usually you reserve that adventure for just the two of us. 

Me: I asked her to take the picture so I could have a good one of us as my Daddy’s Day gift.

Ducky: It’s Daddy’s Day again? Feels like the last one was only seven and a half weeks ago.

Me:

Ducky: See, seven and a half weeks is like one seventh of a year. So for a dog…

Me: Very clever.

Ducky: Gotta admit that’s pretty good math on the fly for someone with 18 total digits trying to do math in a base ten system.

Me:

Ducky: Plus I’m a dog.

Me:

Ducky: You wanted a picture of us for Daddy’s Day?

Me: Yup.

Ducky: I’m glad you’re my Daddy, Daddy.

Me: Thanks. I’m glad I’m your Daddy, Ducky. On Daddy’s Day and every day.

Ducky: A picture to commemorate all this seems appropriate.

Me: Thanks. And then when we’re all done we’ll get back to walking. All three of us.

Ducky: Sounds good. Look out for the bright light.

Me: I love you, Ducky.

Ducky: I love you, Daddy.

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Ag

Me: I should probably get up.

Ducky: Is it dinner time?

Me: No.

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: Need to go potty?

Me: Nope.

Ducky:

Me: We’ve just been lying here a long time.

Ducky: We’ve been lying here a long time because it is pleasant.

Me: Correct.

Ducky: At the moment it seems no less pleasant than it has been.

Me: Also true.

Ducky: So in absence of food or going potty I see no benefit to getting up. Keep scratching me.

Me: I have work I need to do for my job though.

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: Work that is more pleasant than lying here?

Me: No.

Ducky:

Me: Work that will lead to food?

Ducky: Only when taking the long view.

Me:

Ducky: Keep scratching. When the food comes into close view, go ahead and get up.

Me: I love you, Ducky.

Ducky: I love you, Daddy.

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Ag & Ducky

Ducky: Those are a lot of noodles, Daddy.

Me: Yes they are. Lots. We have fourteen people coming for dinner.

Ducky: That sounds like a lot.

Me: It is.

Ducky: But you have a lot of noodles there.

Me: Yeah. Should be enough.

Ducky: Enough?

Me: For everyone.

Ducky:

Me: Including you. Don’t worry.

Ducky: Oh good. I was worried you forgot I like your noodles.

Me: No. I couldn’t forget. Certainly not with how close you’ve stayed during the process.

Ducky: I thought I should stay close in case you needed help.

Me: In case I needed help?

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: In case you dropped a noodle.

Me: I thought so.

Ducky: The help I could give would be limited anyway.

Me: No thumbs?

Ducky: No thumbs.

Me: I appreciate the thought. And don’t worry. As soon as the first batch is boiled, you’ll get your noodle.

Ducky: Oh g…

Me:

Ducky: Noodle?

Me: Yes. Noodle.

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: Those are a lot of noodles, Daddy. Noodles. Plural.

Me: I know. But you can’t have too many. They’re not good for you. 

Ducky:

Me: I have to keep you healthy.

Ducky: Not as concerned with the health of your fourteen guests?

Me: If you knew what I put in my sauce you’d know the answer to that question.

Ducky: There’s sauce?

Me: I love you, Ducky.

Ducky: I love you, Daddy.

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