Ducky: We’ve been lying here a long time because it is pleasant.
Ducky: At the moment it seems no less pleasant than it has been.
Me: Also true.
Ducky: So in absence of food or going potty I see no benefit to getting up. Keep scratching me.
Me: I have work I need to do for my job though.
Ducky: Work that is more pleasant than lying here?
Me: Work that will lead to food?
Ducky: Only when taking the long view.
Ducky: Keep scratching. When the food comes into close view, go ahead and get up.
Me: I love you, Ducky.
Ducky: I love you, Daddy.
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Me: I know. The faucet makes a scary noise. I’m sorry.
Ducky: I know you know. But you still give me baths.
Ducky: You don’t like giving me baths.
Me: Not really, no.
Ducky: Is it the noise?
Me: It’s more the “Chasing Ducky to get him when he realizes it’s bath time.” And the “Lifting Ducky after he has gone into dead weight mode when I try to lift him into the tub.” And the “Trying to turn Ducky when he won’t let me rinse his other side and get this over with because the faucet makes a scary noise.”
Ducky: I do not like baths.
Me: No you don’t.
Ducky And you don’t like giving them to me.
Ducky: But you keep doing it because I need them.
Me: Yup. Your skin gets all flaky if we don’t do this.
Ducky: I don’t like the flaky skin.
Me: No. That must feel pretty bad.
Ducky: Why don’t you have someone else do it?
Me: Have someone else bathe you? I don’t know. You’re my Ducky dog. So you’re my responsibility. And if someone else did it you’d still be unhappy.
Ducky: And I wouldn’t be able to press up against you when the scary noise came.
Me: Right. So I think I’m the right one to take care of this. I’m sorry you ever have to experience anything that makes you unhappy, Ducky. But if you do, I want to be there with you when it happens.
Ducky: That sounds like the kind of thing I’d usually say to you.
Me: Maybe I’m finally learning.
Ducky: Thanks for taking care of me, Daddy. Even when I’m difficult.
Me: Thanks for being you, Ducky. Now press up against me nice and hard. it’s rinsing time.