Ducky: Nice day for a walk, Daddy.

Me: Yes it is.

Ducky: And yet here we stand; not walking.

Me: It’s still a walk. We’re just pausing for a picture.

Ducky: Technically that means it was a walk. Past tense.


Ducky: And while the use of the word “pause” implies a continuation of the walking in the future, there are no…

Me: Just look at the camera, please.

Ducky: Hey, look! It’s The Lady!

Me: Yes it is.

Ducky: I forgot she came out for a pause with us too.

Me: … 

Ducky: And she has a camera.

Me: Yes she does.

Ducky: I like The Lady.


Ducky: But you know what I don’t…

Me: You don’t like cameras.

Ducky: I do not like cameras. They make that bright light. Hurts my peepers.

Me: Once. Seven years ago the flash goes off once and you still can’t forget.

Ducky: Well, technically that’s only one dog year ago.

Me: That’s not how that works.

Ducky: Who’s to say?

Me: If you look at the camera for just a few seconds so she can get a picture we can get back to walking.

Ducky: We could get back to walking regardless. 


Ducky: Why is she taking the picture, anyways? Usually you reserve that adventure for just the two of us. 

Me: I asked her to take the picture so I could have a good one of us as my Daddy’s Day gift.

Ducky: It’s Daddy’s Day again? Feels like the last one was only seven and a half weeks ago.


Ducky: See, seven and a half weeks is like one seventh of a year. So for a dog…

Me: Very clever.

Ducky: Gotta admit that’s pretty good math on the fly for someone with 18 total digits trying to do math in a base ten system.


Ducky: Plus I’m a dog.


Ducky: You wanted a picture of us for Daddy’s Day?

Me: Yup.

Ducky: I’m glad you’re my Daddy, Daddy.

Me: Thanks. I’m glad I’m your Daddy, Ducky. On Daddy’s Day and every day.

Ducky: A picture to commemorate all this seems appropriate.

Me: Thanks. And then when we’re all done we’ll get back to walking. All three of us.

Ducky: Sounds good. Look out for the bright light.

Me: I love you, Ducky.

Ducky: I love you, Daddy.

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Me: I should probably get up.

Ducky: Is it dinner time?

Me: No.



Ducky: Need to go potty?

Me: Nope.


Me: We’ve just been lying here a long time.

Ducky: We’ve been lying here a long time because it is pleasant.

Me: Correct.

Ducky: At the moment it seems no less pleasant than it has been.

Me: Also true.

Ducky: So in absence of food or going potty I see no benefit to getting up. Keep scratching me.

Me: I have work I need to do for my job though.



Ducky: Work that is more pleasant than lying here?

Me: No.


Me: Work that will lead to food?

Ducky: Only when taking the long view.


Ducky: Keep scratching. When the food comes into close view, go ahead and get up.

Me: I love you, Ducky.

Ducky: I love you, Daddy.

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Ag & Ducky

Ducky: Daddy, I don’t like baths.

Me: I know, Ducky.

Ducky: I don’t like the noise.

Me: I know. The faucet makes a scary noise. I’m sorry.

Ducky: I know you know. But you still give me baths.

Me: Yeah.



Ducky: You don’t like giving me baths.

Me: Not really, no.

Ducky: Is it the noise?

Me: It’s more the “Chasing Ducky to get him when he realizes it’s bath time.” And the “Lifting Ducky after he has gone into dead weight mode when I try to lift him into the tub.” And the “Trying to turn Ducky when he won’t let me rinse his other side and get this over with because the faucet makes a scary noise.”



Ducky: I do not like baths.

Me: No you don’t.

Ducky And you don’t like giving them to me.

Me: Nope.

Ducky: But you keep doing it because I need them.

Me: Yup. Your skin gets all flaky if we don’t do this.

Ducky: I don’t like the flaky skin.

Me: No. That must feel pretty bad.

Ducky: Yeah.


Ducky: Why don’t you have someone else do it?

Me: Have someone else bathe you? I don’t know. You’re my Ducky dog. So you’re my responsibility. And if someone else did it you’d still be unhappy.

Ducky: And I wouldn’t be able to press up against you when the scary noise came.

Me: Right. So I think I’m the right one to take care of this. I’m sorry you ever have to experience anything that makes you unhappy, Ducky. But if you do, I want to be there with you when it happens.



Ducky: That sounds like the kind of thing I’d usually say to you.

Me: Maybe I’m finally learning.

Ducky: Thanks for taking care of me, Daddy. Even when I’m difficult.

Me: Thanks for being you, Ducky. Now press up against me nice and hard. it’s rinsing time.

Ducky: I love you, Daddy.

Me: I love you, Ducky.