In 2008 a dog tried to save his owners lives after 5 armed pirates hijacked their yacht off the coast of Venezuela. After the men climbed aboard the dog furiously attacked them, biting and snapping until he was stabbed then shot. The dog survived and the pirates left almost empty handed. -Source
Men hollered excited cheers, dogs bayed, gunfire rang out in sporadic bursts, and every so often the wild cry of Injun tongue howled out from the smoking brush to his back, carried onto his ears by the dust-blown breeze. He pressed forward on his horse with quiet purpose, but not to escape the hunt behind him for sake of moral distaste–he knew well as any other man that their blood bled as red as his own. The great beast beneath him twitched its sturdy muscles uneasily at each fading ring of a fired gun but did not start or rear up in fear, only padded forth with a matching eagerness to put the din behind them. He continued only to avoid being recognized by lawmen, sharing his face as sparingly as he could over the course of his journey should they get the idea to apprehend him for his so-called ‘crimes’ (he had done nothing wrong in the Springs, and he would argue that until the day he finally dropped dead). It had been days now–weeks even, he may have lost track– and there had been no sign of his recognition save for a bounty with an earnest rendition of his lean face drawn on it, posted outside of a run-down bar a couple miles out of Colorado Springs. It should go without saying that he took the page for himself and squirreled it away into his coat for safe keeping; it wouldn’t make his warrant disappear, but it was a reminder of what he was up against. His well-earned paranoia receded the further he distanced himself from the men and that bar, reveling in the sprawl ahead of him–ahead of him for miles as far as he could see, nothing but brush and dirt and rock and quiet save for his for his horse’s swaying gait and the whip of the summer wind.
Ducky: We’ve been lying here a long time because it is pleasant.
Ducky: At the moment it seems no less pleasant than it has been.
Me: Also true.
Ducky: So in absence of food or going potty I see no benefit to getting up. Keep scratching me.
Me: I have work I need to do for my job though.
Ducky: Work that is more pleasant than lying here?
Me: Work that will lead to food?
Ducky: Only when taking the long view.
Ducky: Keep scratching. When the food comes into close view, go ahead and get up.
Me: I love you, Ducky.
Ducky: I love you, Daddy.
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Ducky and I were both tagged in a 20 Beautiful People post by unironichashtags! Ducky and I discussed it and we agree that it was probably a case where he got credit for “beautiful” and I got credit for “people.” So together…BAM!
Me: I know. The faucet makes a scary noise. I’m sorry.
Ducky: I know you know. But you still give me baths.
Ducky: You don’t like giving me baths.
Me: Not really, no.
Ducky: Is it the noise?
Me: It’s more the “Chasing Ducky to get him when he realizes it’s bath time.” And the “Lifting Ducky after he has gone into dead weight mode when I try to lift him into the tub.” And the “Trying to turn Ducky when he won’t let me rinse his other side and get this over with because the faucet makes a scary noise.”
Ducky: I do not like baths.
Me: No you don’t.
Ducky And you don’t like giving them to me.
Ducky: But you keep doing it because I need them.
Me: Yup. Your skin gets all flaky if we don’t do this.
Ducky: I don’t like the flaky skin.
Me: No. That must feel pretty bad.
Ducky: Why don’t you have someone else do it?
Me: Have someone else bathe you? I don’t know. You’re my Ducky dog. So you’re my responsibility. And if someone else did it you’d still be unhappy.
Ducky: And I wouldn’t be able to press up against you when the scary noise came.
Me: Right. So I think I’m the right one to take care of this. I’m sorry you ever have to experience anything that makes you unhappy, Ducky. But if you do, I want to be there with you when it happens.
Ducky: That sounds like the kind of thing I’d usually say to you.
Me: Maybe I’m finally learning.
Ducky: Thanks for taking care of me, Daddy. Even when I’m difficult.
Me: Thanks for being you, Ducky. Now press up against me nice and hard. it’s rinsing time.