men's pants

anonymous asked:

Is it possible to identify as nonbinary / trans because of internalised homophobia ? I used to identify as agender cause gender wasn't a big deal for me and the more comfortable I get with being a lesbian the less I want to be called agender

Y e s, anon, it most certainly is possible that internalized homophobia could lead to wanting to transition.

First of all, I define gender as social constructs that are linked by society  to biological sex. Gender is feminine/masculine. Gender is men wearing pants and women wearing skirts. Gender is long hair in women and short hair in men. etc etc etc

The more you hear about non binary people’s experiences with gender, the more you realize the need we feel to identify with a new gender, which diverges from the gender aligned with our sex, is because we are gender-non-conforming.

Being gnc in societies which value the binary of gender roles has been historically linked to new genders being created, it’s the source of the concept of “third gender” in native societies. (x) It only makes sense that people who value gender roles/gender and link them to sex would invent “new genders” to explain what they couldn’t actually explain (for example, before modern age, females diverging from roles of nurturing nature, and males diverging from roles of hunters or whatever was expected of them).

Sometimes this “diversion” is just being a homosexual person. Being homosexual is inherently gender non conforming for both men/males and women/females, and we both suffer for it. But for women, internalized misogyny and lesbophobia lead to some deeper issues. Women are “meant to” be submissive to men, that is how we are socialized. So any glimpse of rebelion and homosexuality in us seems like a glimpse into a whole “new gender”, which is why so many females are now identifying with this myriad of genders which “nonbinary” is an umbrella for. It’s not a coincidence that most of the people I’ve seen identifying as nb are females, and the few males are homosexual. 

It only makes sense that we have such a disconnect from womanhood, because womanhood has been equated with femininity, so any woman who isn’t feminine feels mind-boggled by her gender. Femininity is beyond skirts, pink colors, and makeup. Femininity is also roles, such as “home maker”, “wife to man”, etc etc

What people need to understand is that being a woman and being feminine are not interchangeable. Any man can be feminine, and any woman can be masculine. Feminine and masculine are nothing more than oppressive roles, meant to put women in their place (submission) and guarantee men stay in theirs (domination).

This culture of placing people into new genders has been carried on over the years, it just changed and adapted with time. Now, we got tumblr, telling young homosexual and bisexual people that they should reconsider their sexualities and “gender” for traits that quite frankly resume to personality.

I identified as non binary for a long time, and also as pansexual. Now I know I’m a lesbian, but it took a lot of analysis and work to disentangle myself from these harmful notions of gender which had been fed to me first by my extremely religious upbringing, and then by more or less well-meaning tumblr and youtube trans activists.

You said you identified as agender because “gender isn’t a big deal to you”… But do you think heterosexual “cis” men think about these concepts of gender even once in their lives? The answer is probably not, no heterosexual man spends his time contemplating gender issues, because they generally benefit* from gender roles. (Women are expected to put daily effort into shaving, managing long hair, makeup, wearing uncomfortable clothes, etc while men are just allowed to do as they wish with their bodies.) So are all straight men “agender” because they don’t care about gender? I wouldn’t think you’d say so. 

((*One of the few things about gender roles men do not benefit from is that they are not allowed to express emotions and be comfortable with feelings, which can result in violent behavior towards others and themselves because of all the supression of their feelings.))

The genderist description of gender is simply “a label and pronouns which you identify with”. So of course we have a rising number of women identifying out of womanhood because we are raised to hate femaleness, to hate being a woman, because it is oppression. Women have such high expectations to abide to when it comes to gender. We’re expected to be contantly conscious of our appearance, constantly putting on the show of femininity, because that is how males get us in check, get us under control.

Now, after this you might be thinking of transwomen who are male but identify as “lesbians”. If heterosexual males don’t have to worry about gender, why are these heterosexual males not only worrying about it, but transitioning, and working with “activism” to break the so-called “cotton ceiling”?

Well that’s because most of those men have some degree of autogynephilia. They fetishize femininity and lesbiniasm to such a degree, that they start thinking they are “women” themselves. I recently ran across the idea of “gender euphoria” (as opposed to gender dysphoria). It is the idea that when you achieve the gender you identify with you would feel intense euphoria and happiness. 

So it makes sense that when these men put on panties and other “feminine” clothing and get turned on, they’d equate that to being trans/being a “woman”. This is because they think, like I said earlier, that femininity and womanhood are one and the same. It is an inherently misogynistic and conservative way of thinking, because it equates all females with femininity.  

Not all women are feminine. Not all women should be expected to be feminine. And certainly no woman should be told that every “non-feminine” aspect of her is somehow disconnecting her from womanhood.

Women are everything. They can have short or long hair, love sports or hate them, they can be wives or forever-spinsters, they can be lesbians, straight or bi, they can be whatever they want to be.

I’d recommend you check out some detransition tumblrs such as (x) and (x)

Also, I recently saw a radfem transman talking about his identity, and he said something very interesting. 

“I see my experience as a transman as another way to experience being female” (x

I believe women/females should not have to transition and go through invasive surgeries and hormones in order to be happy in their womanhood, whatever that entails, even if your view of womanhood is exactly what someone else might equate to manhood. 

I believe lesbians should not be encouraged to transition because they are masculine, and because they suffer from internalized homophobia. 

It is not coincidental that so many parents who are homophobic are okay with a child transitioning. Trans is conforming to archaic gender roles and expectations.

 Stay aware, do your research, don’t fall back into the idea that homosexual individuals should have to conform to heterosexuality. I’m happy for you that you’ve been able to get to this conclusion pretty much on your own, and I hope you can come to fully embrance your lesbianism and womanhood.

You’re an amazing, valuable member of society, no matter how well you perform femininity. You’re no less of a woman if you don’t perform what other people expect you to. I personally love me my rebelious women, and I’m sure you’ll find support elsewhere too.

the-spockicorn  asked:

Hi, I’ve been considering starting a book in the fantasy genre. I really wanted to give some Native American representation in it, since it's something that I rarely see. However, this story wouldn't take place in America, it would be in a completely different world (though one loosely based off of earth in the 14 hundreds ish?) This is similar to your mixing cultures post, but I wanted to know: is there a good way to give Native American representation in stories that aren’t historical fiction?

Representing PoC in Fantasy When Their Country/Continent Doesn’t Exist

The core of this question is something we’ve gotten across a few different ethnicities, and it basically boils down to: “how can I let my readers know these people are from a certain place without calling them by this certain place?” Aka, how can I let people know somebody is Chinese if I can’t call them Chinese, or, in your case, some Native American nation without having a North America.

Notes on Language

As I have said multiple times, there is no such thing as “Native American culture”. It’s an umbrella term. Even if you are doing fantasy you need to pick a nation and/or confederacy.

Step One

How do you code somebody as European?

This sounds like a very silly question, but consider it seriously.

How do you?

They probably live in huts or castles; there are lords and kings and knights; they eat stew and bread and drumsticks; they celebrate the winter solstice as a major holiday/new year; women wear dresses while men wear pants; there are pubs and farms and lots of wheat; the weather is snowy in winter and warm in summer.

Now swap all those components out for whatever people you’re thinking about.

Iroquois? They live in longhouses; there is a confederacy and democracy and lots of warriors from multiple nations; they eat corn, beans, and squash (those three considered sacred and grown together), with fish and wild game; they wear mostly leather garments with furs in winter; there are nights by the fire and cities and the rituals will change by the nation (remember the Iroquois were a confederacy made up of five or six tribes, depending on period); the weather is again snowy in winter and warm in summer.

Chinese? They harvest rice; there is an emperor appointed by the gods and scholars everywhere; they use a lunar calendar and have a New Year in spring; their trade ships are huge and their resources are plenty; they live in wood structures with paper walls or mud brick; they use jade and ivory for talismans; their culture is hugely varied depending on the province; their weather is mostly tropical, with monsoons instead of snow on lowlands, but their mountains do get chilly.

You get the gist.

Break down what it is that makes a world read as European (let’s be honest, usually English and Germanic) to you, then swap out the parts with the appropriate places in another culture.

Step Two

Research, research, research. Google is your friend. Ask it the questions for “what did the Cree eat” and “how did Ottoman government work.” These are your basics. This is what you’ll use to figure out the building blocks of culture.

You’ll also want to research their climate. As I say in How To Blend Cultures, culture comes from climate. If you don’t have the climate, animals, plants, and weather down, it’ll ring false.

You can see more at So You Want To Save The World From Bad Representation.

Step Three

Start to build the humans and how they interact with others. How are the trade relations? What are the internal attitudes about the culture— how do they see outsiders? How do outsiders see them? Are there power imbalances? How about greed and desire to take over?

This is where you need to do even more research on how different groups interacted with others. Native American stories are oftentimes painful to read, and I would strongly suggest to not take a colonizer route for a fantasy novel.

This does, however, mean you might not be researching how Natives saw Europeans— you’ll be researching how they saw neighbours. 

You’ll also want to look up the social rules to get a sense for how they interacted with each other, just for character building purposes.

Step Four

Sensitivity readers everywhere! You’ll really want to get somebody from the nation to read over the story to make sure you’ve gotten things right— it’s probably preferable to get somebody when you’re still in the concept stage, because a lot of glaring errors can be missed and it’s best to catch them before you start writing them.

Making mistakes is 100% not a huge moral failing. Researching cultures without much information on them is hard. So long as you understand the corrections aren’t a reflection on your character, just chalk them up to ignorance (how often do most writers get basic medical, weapon, or animal knowledge wrong? Extremely often). 

Step Five

This is where you really get into the meat of creating people. You’ve built their culture and environment into your worldbuilding, so now you have the tools you need to create characters who feel like part of the culture.

You’ll really want to keep in mind that every culture has a variety of people. While your research will say people roughly behave in a certain way, people are people and break cultural rules all the time. Their background will influence what rules they break and how they relate to the world, but there will be no one person who follows every cultural rule down to the letter. 

Step Six

Write!

Step Seven

More sensitivity readers! See step 4 for notes.

Step Eight

Rewrite— and trust me, you will need to. Writing is rewriting.

Repeat steps seven and eight until story is done.

Extra Notes

I’ll be honest— you’re probably going to need a certain amount of either goodwill (if you’re lucky enough to make friends within the group you’re trying to represent— but seriously, please do not make friends with us for the sole purpose of using us as sensitivity readers. It’s not nice) and/or money to get to publishing level. 

The good part is the first three steps are free, and these first three steps are what will allow you to hurt others less when you approach. While you’ll still likely make mistakes, you’ll make a few less (and hopefully no glaring ones, but it can/does happen) so long as you do your due diligence in making sure you at least try to understand the basics.

And once you feel like you’ve understood the basics… dive down even deeper because chances are you’re about to reach a tipping point for realizing how little you know.

People will always find you did something wrong. You will never get culture 100% accurate— not even people who were born and raised in it will, because as I said in step five: cultures have a huge variety of people in them, so everyone will interact with it differently. But you can work your hardest to capture one experience, make it as accurate as possible, and learn more for next time.

~ Mod Lesya