men you don't kick out of your bed in the morning

The Act of Taking

Originally posted by jorindelle

Pairing: Halfdan X Reader

Word Count: 1300

Warnings: gratuitous amounts of shy

@odins-missing-eye request:

He wasn’t accustomed to having long extravagant conversations with women. Small talk was agonizing to get past and any acts of wooing where painfully embarrassing. Halfdan was a warrior through and through, what he wanted he took, and for the longest time he thought of taking you.

Floki halted his small wood carving when he noticed Halfdan’s dead straight stare, unwavering on its target like a beast ready to attack. Looking over his shoulder he found you pulling up your freshly clean dress to the knee to wipe off mud that splattered on and under the last one.

“Careful where your eyes set Halfdan…” they looked to one another, “That one gets more done when she is happy, and I rarely find women happy after men force themselves on them.”  

Halfdan scoffed, tearing meat between in teeth in frustration. “Yeah? I am sure you spend lots of time making that one and only slave of yours very happy.”

Going back to his wood carving, Floki smirked but didn’t care enough to deny it. “It might have something to do with Helga’s fury if she is treated as anything less than a friend… we’ve been speaking with Queen Aslaug to make her a free woman.”

Halfdan stiffened the way Floki knew he would.

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anonymous asked:

I would love for Harry and Elle to have a baby boy and then Harry takes him to the home office so that Elle can get some things done without having to worry about the baby and Harry is cuddling the baby while typing something and miny H keeps his eyes on the computer and Harry chuckles and is like 'do you like daddy writing proposals? Will you be daddy's heir as a ceo one day?' And maybe Elle is listening and is like 'H, he's a few months old, don't make a ceo baby of him'

Awww that is adorable!! I love it!! It would totally happen if she was to have a baby! Xx 

It’s just after dinner and Harry is ready to get his work done, his little one to sleep, and to hit the bed himself. He sits at his desk, his little boy nestled against him with a baby blue blanket wrapped around the bundle of joy, his name embroidered on the ends of it. 

Harry has learnt how to multitask and keep his eye on both his work and the three-week-old little boy in his arms. 

He lets out a sigh, his free hand gradually typing up a proposal and listening as Elise is up and down the hallways trying to get the washing done, ultimately forgetting different items of clothing each time. Harry yawns before his eyes are down on his little son, “Hey, are you sleepy like Daddy is?” Harry coos, smiling down as the baby boy blinks up at him with an expressionless stare, not even managing to crack a smile. “Hm, not too happy this evening are ye’ buddy? Are you upset that I stole you from Mummy?” Harry continues with a grin, determined to get a small smile from his son. “I know she gives better cuddles, but you’re stuck with me because Mummy needs some down time before she goes crazy… she is already forgetting half the clothes. You know where I found your pyjamas?” … “Mhm, in the freezer, Mummy needs some sleep, and Daddy needs some cuddles,” Harry beams, removing his hand from the laptop to press it to the tummy of the boy, tickling him lightly to view his little legs kicking out and a small grin forming on his rich red lips. “There we go, there’s that goofy grin… Ay, no, that is mean mugging me.” Harry pouts as his son gives him a scowl, his eyes squinting and his nose crinkling. “You got that look from your Mummy. Mhm,” Harry laughs, stealing a few extra cuddles before turning his attention back to the screen on his laptop, every now and again glancing down to peer into the beautiful eyes of his son. 

Harry sighs and draws his eyes away from the screen, curious to see if his son has fallen asleep. To his surprise his head is tilted to the side, his little eyes staring at the screen, “do you like daddy writing proposals? Will you be daddy’s heir as a CEO one day?” Harry questions, amused when his son moves his head for his eyes to stare into his fathers. “Hm, are you the next CEO? Are you taking over Daddy’s business?” Harry smiles, filled with such pride and joy, “Gotta teach you the ropes young, my son.” Harry chuckles to himself, exhaustion playing its roll on him as he finds himself snickering to himself more than ever. 

“Harry, his three weeks old, don’t make a CEO baby of him,” Elise pouts as she steps in the office, 

“Darlin’ we have to teach him young,” 

“Don’t corrupt out baby, not yet. At least let him learn how to walk.” 

“Oh, he will be walking in no time, he is a Styles’ he is a swift learner.” 

“He wasn’t swift with that fifteen-hour labour,” Elise mumbles, shuffling closer to her two favourite men.

“I know, I know,” Harry sighs, “That was a long fifteen hours, I know.” Harry nods, “But, he is a strong, smart boy. Look, he already wants to learn, watching me write a proposal.” Harry gestures down at his offspring, 

“Mhm, I don’t think he quite understands the concept of a proposal. Can I have my son back?" 

"No, it is Daddy time…." 

"Daddy needs to finish work and baby need another feed before he goes to sleep.” Elise informs Harry, leaning down and kissing Harry’s cheek, her hand moving to glide over the little boy’s tummy, “Are you ready for your bottle? Hmm?” Elise coos, 

“I’ll feed him, go get in bed and rest, Elle.” Harry smiles up at Elise, quite content with keeping his son in his arms for a little longer, “I didn’t get my morning cuddles… makin’ up for it now, love.” He grins, adjusting the blanket on his son as it begins to leisurely sink. 

A few moths ago I was taken by the ’All or Nothing Sitcom’ idea. Inspired, I wrote a couple of scripts that I, at that point in time, had the intention of turning into 3-5 minute videos/a mini-series, but since that’s not happening now or in the near future, I thought I’d share them with the internet. 

(for the properly formatted script go here

For your amusement, as interpreted by me. 

All or Nothing - pilot (SITCOM)

#don’t hate, educate

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anonymous asked:

why do straight black men always act like your pussy is supposed to taste like all these fruits and stuff? for a long time i been feeling bad about myself b/c my privates don't always smell like flowers and mangoes. how do i deal with it?

hell for the longest i thought there was somethin wrong with me cause my pussy dont smell like water (shoutout to piles ignant ass)

like fr. they got women out there using harmful douches just to get rid of their natural scent and shit (DO NOT DOUCHE EVER BTW! The vagina cleans itself. all those chemicals in douches can knock your shit off balance and cause infections)

and you deal with it by realizing, nobody pussy actually smells like fruit. seriously. no one. no ones at all. not a single person.

tbhh pussy smells a whoooole lot better than fruit. hell while masturbating i frequently praise myself for havin such a good smelling pussy!!!! does it smell like fruit? not even close to it lol but aye it smell arousing!!!

but unless you neglect to wipe your ass correctly and never wash. your pussy is not going to actually smell bad

if it does smell bad, then you have an infection and should see your gyno so you can take some medicine and clear it up!!!

PUSSY SMELLS LIKE PUSSY NOT A FRUIT bc chant that to yourself every morning when you wake up and before you go to bed

now your diet can effect the way your pussy tastes. but even if you drink all the fruit juices in the world, your pussy will N E V E R smell or taste like fruit. from what i understand it just makes your pussy taste less acidic/salty??? but its still gon taste like pussy


if you ever get intimate with someone and they chaste you for not having an unrealistic smelling pussy

pls kick them onto the floor and tell them to get out (even if you at their house!! tell em to leave!! they dont deserve to be at their house right now for bein so dumb!!!!)







good luck!!!

MMFD fic prompt: "Awake?"

Well, got my very first fic prompt! borntosik wondered what Rae and Finn’s relationship would’ve been like today, ifthey had stuff like internet, smart phones, texting, whatsapp… you get it. Notsure if this is what you had in mind, dear borntosik, but it’s just a bit offluffy fun, and who doesn’t love that?

My thanks as always to Superbeta madfatty. I think she had extra fun with this one ;)

Finn Nelson: awake?

Rae stared at the phone. She sat up in bed, rubbed her sleepy face and took one more look.

Finn Nelson: awake?

Yep. The message was there on her Whatsapp, there was no mistaking it.

But wait. She’d been falling asleep. What if she was in that strange place when you’re not really awake anymore but you’re not really asleep, and your brain conjures up the weirdest shit? Yes, that made sense. She’d had an awful day. Spent most of it having a little private pity party, was dead tired, and now she was probably having one of her “Finn-wants-to-come-over-and-play-tonsil-hockey-with-me” dreams, only her stupid mind started the plot way too early. Rae leaned back down and pulled the covers tighter around herself. How many times did she have to tell her subconscious she didn’t need a plot? Just go straight to the snogging, please and thank you.

Her phone pinged.

Finn Nelson: rae are you awake

She blinked in the glow of the screen. Shit, this was real. This was happening. Finn Nelson was booty-calling her! Except that they don’t do that. And also that her booty was not something boys craved in the middle of the night. Or at all.

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Request: Can you do a oneshot where the reader was dating Gabriel when he died but she loses her memory on a hunt and thinks he's still alive. Cas can't heal her and Sam and Dean don't want to tell her the truth so they all act like Gabriel has left for some business. Then the reader remembers. But Gabriel shows up and she gets angry, they argue but he does something to make her forgive him. Sorry its really long.

You woke up to an empty bed, again. But, unlike all those other mornings, this was the first time you didn’t cry after waking up. You felt empty, lonely like you did all those other times, but now you had the lack of tears. It was a big step for you.

You rolled out of bed and got ready. You missed the good morning kisses, and jokes Gabriel would make as you woke up. You missed everything about him. Sometimes you’d imagine he was still alive, and just in Heaven for business. 

“Y/N! You awake?” Dean yelled, banging on your door. You sighed, put on your fake smile, and opened the door.

“Yeah, just getting ready.” You said. 

“Well hurry up! I know you girls like to make yourselves look good, but we got a hunt to go on!” Dean said, snapping his fingers.

“Alright, alright. I’m ready. Sheesh.” You said, leaving your room.

It was easier when you were around people. Sam and Dean provided a distraction for you. Dean made fun of you, which was his coping mechanism. Sam was extra nice to you, which was his. It was nice, and just what you needed. 

You all piled into the Impala, and Sam explained the hunt. You were going to kill a werewolf. It wasn’t exactly a hard hunt, but it was something. 

You got out of the car and walked into the woods. It wasn’t hard to follow the werewolf’s trail, seeing as there were broken branches, huge paw prints and a dead animal every few feet. You came into a clearing, and saw the monster destroying a deer.

You ran to the monster, your gun in hand. the monster charged at you, and you fired. You didn’t hit it in any of the important parts, and soon it was on top of you. You fell backward, and your head hit the ground. Hard. Everything went black.


You slowly woke up to a pounding in your head. You groaned in pain, and moved your arm. You jumped when you felt something slide against your skin, and looked down to see an IV line. Then you realized you were in a hospital room. 

Sam and Dean were sitting in chairs on either side of your bed. Both brothers were sleeping, and you couldn’t help but chuckle at how innocent the deadliest men you’d ever met looked. Or, at least the deadliest men behind your boyfriend.

Speaking of your boyfriend, where the Hell was he? Sure, he was busy in heaven and everything, but what the Hell? You were his girlfriend, he should be there by now! 

You saw Sam and Dean slowly wake up, and smiled as their eyes landed on you. “You’re awake!” Sam exclaimed.

“No shit Sherlock.” You teased.

“And happy.” Dean added.

“Yeah, well, I’m happy at the moment. But the second I see Gabriel, I’m gonna kill him. Where is he?” You asked. Sam and Dean both glanced at each other, and fidgeted in their seats. “What?”

“He, um.” Dean started, then stopped.

“Y/N, Gabriel is…. Uh.” Sam began, but also stopped.

“Will somebody tell me where my boyfriend is!” You exclaimed in annoyance. “Gabriel! Get your ass down here!” You said, looking at the ceiling.

“I’ll go tell the doctor you’re awake.” Dean said, then hit Sam’s leg. 

“I’ll go with you.” Sam said, and both brothers left your room. You shrugged off their weird behavior and continued praying to your boyfriend.

Sam and Dean were freaking out. First, they thought you’d died, then they thought you’d be in a coma forever, then you forgot just about the most important thing ever. When Gabriel died, you were a mess, how could they make you go through that again? 

“What do we tell her?” Dean asked.

“I don’t know!” Sam exclaimed, running his hands through his hair. “But we can’t tell her Gabriel’s dead.”

“No duh!” Dean said, hitting Sam on the back of the head. “Should we lie?”

“That’s probably the best thing.” Sam agreed. “Okay, how about Gabriel’s in Heaven. He stopped by when she was asleep, and….”

“And he’s not sure when he’ll be back.” Dean finished. 


You were discharged the day you woke up, and had been in the bunker for three days. Gabriel still hadn’t visited, and you were quickly becoming annoyed. You prayed to him every night, but got nothing. 

“Ugh!” You groaned, jumping on the couch next to Dean.

“What?” Sam asked from the chair across the room.

“I have prayed to Gabriel, nonstop, for two hours! What is he doing? I mean, sure, Heaven’s important and all, but what could he possibly be doing that he can’t stop by for one minute?”

You didn’t notice the look that the brothers shared, or how fidgety they had just become. “I dunno.” Dean said. “Hey, you guys hungry?”

“Starving.” Sam said, getting up and going to the kitchen, Dean shortly followed him. You decided you’d pray a few more times, then join them.

“Dear Gabriel, up in Heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on Earth as it is in Heaven. And if thy do not get thine ass down here, I shall not forgive thy for thine trespasses. In fact, I will kick your ass.” You prayed. You were silent for a minute, waiting for him to come, but he didn’t. Damn. You thought that would work! 

Sighing, you got off the couch and walked to the kitchen. As you passed the coffee table, your shin hit the side, and you fell down. Your head whipped back and forth quickly, but you didn’t hit it on anything, and you were otherwise unharmed. 

You stood up, and suddenly had this horrible wave of sadness hit you. It took you a second to figure out why. Gabriel was dead. You’d been praying to a dead angel for three days. The man you loved was gone. Tears spilled out of your eyes, and you crashed to the floor in despair. 

Sam and Dean came running into the room. They didn’t have to ask what was wrong, it wasn’t hard to guess. Both brothers held you tightly, and let you cry into their shoulders. You couldn’t even yell at them for lying to you, you were too sad.

Sam picked you up and carried you to your room. Dean pulled the covers over you, and they gave you some privacy. You pulled the covers over your face, trying to shut the whole world out.

You didn’t hear the door open, but you felt somebody sit on your bed. “Go away!” You shouted, but the person didn’t move. “Guys, I’m not in the mood! Please.” You begged. Still they didn’t move. Sighing, you pulled the covers back and looked at the annoyance.

Gabriel sat on the foot of your bed, watching you with tender eyes. “Hi.” He said. You froze for a second, trying to decide if he was real. You stared at him, then realized that a hallucination wouldn’t cause the bed to dip.

You attacked him. You jumped from your bed and wrapped your arms around his neck. Gabriel wrapped his arms around your stomach and pulled you closer to him. You kissed all over his face, missing the way he felt in your arms.

“I’ve missed you so much.” He said, kissing your face. “I’ve been keeping an eye on you, though.”

Then, you pulled away from him. All your happiness quickly replaced with anger. you were so angry that you saw red for a second. “You’ve missed me?” You demanded. “You have missed me? I thought you were dead! I’m glad you could check on me whenever, but did you ever think to tell me you were alive? Did you see me crying? I thought you died, and I was a wreck!” You screamed, getting off the bed and pacing. Gabriel’s eyes went to the floor in guilt. “And then you just appear out of nowhwere, and what do you say? Hi! You said hi! No, sorry about tricking you. No, I love you. Just, hi! Are you fucking kidding me?” Gabriel’s eyes shot up to you as you cursed. You never really cursed, only when you were super mad and about to kill somebody.

“You have every right to be mad-”

“Damn right I do!” You interrupted.

“But I couldn’t let you know. There were people after me-”

“Who!? Lucifer? News Flash, Lucifer’s been dead for about a year!”

“Not just Lucifer. Heaven, too. there were some angels that wanted me dead.” Gabriel defended himself.

“And you couldn’t hide from a couple of low life angels? They were so deadly that you couldn’t even tell me you were alive?” You were no longer yelling, but your voice took on a scary, low tone.

Gabriel gulped. “I have no excuses. I’m sorry. I was scared.” Gabriel said quietly.

“Yeah, well come talk to me when you’re a little braver.” You spat, then left your room. 

You were overjoyed that Gabriel was alive, you really were. And you knew eventually you would forgive him, and take him back. Just leaving your room was hard enough, but he needed to be taught a lesson. 

It was hard pretending that Gabriel was still dead around Sam and Dean, but your anger stopped you from speaking too much, so they didn’t question you. 

That night, you went back to your room, and almost fell over. It had been transformed into a bouncy house. All your belongings had turned into the inflatable material, and you quickly closed the door behind you.

“I remember you telling me that you always loved bouncy houses. When you were a kid, your parents rented a bouncy house every year for your birthday. And then, about two years ago, the first time I said I love you was in a bouncy house.” Gabriel said, appearing in the center of the room with a bouquet of flowers. 

Your throat closed up, and your vision was blurred by tears. You made your way over to Gabriel, jumping on the floor, and tackled him in a hug. He didn’t fall, and wrapped his arms around you. “I love you so much, and I will never leave you again.” He promised, kissing you.

“If you do, I will destroy you.” You replied, kissing him.

“I love you so much.”

“I love you too." 

Then, as Gabriel lowered his face to yours, you kicked his feet out from under him, making him fall. You started jumping around your room, making it impossible for him to get up. "This is payback!” You told him.

(I hope you like it!)

You Don't Know He's Famous-Liam (Mini Series) Part 3

     Parts 1-2 here! 

         Two months later

      Your POV: 

             You sat up in bed again, sweat beading down your temple as you tried desperately to catch your breath, this was the third time this week you had woken up, Liam soon burst through the door, making you jump and yelp in shock. 

     "Babe…please tell me you didn’t have that dream again.“ he panted rushing over to you. 

     "Liam…I thought you were at Zayn’s house,” you said, pulling the duvet over your shoulders suddenly feeling cold. 

    “I came back to check on you, I could hear you screaming from the lift…what happened?” he kicked off his shoes and sat against the headboard with you. 

      “Liam, it was awful. It was replaying in my mind over and over again I just…I couldn’t stop them.” he rubbed your shoulder, 

    “Just let me in, please tell me what happened.” he pleaded with you and you nodded. 

     "It was about a week ago, I was in the park, studying for an exam and these men they had cameras around their necks, they were taking pictures, I assumed they were from the Sun or something, reporting on something about the park. Then…they just ran up to me, started questioning me, asking me random questions. I picked my book up and tried to leave but they grabbed me, shoved me around, provoked me. Then, Liam…they pulled me aside and asked me if I was proud of becoming a groupie and…they pulled out a photo and it was….it was a photo of you Liam.“ you sobbed into his chest and cried unknowing that he was pale, his throat had become hoarse like it always did when he was caught. 

      "I…I- (Y/N) I don’t-” he stuttered and you wiped your eyes with the back of your hand and took a deep breath. 

    “Liam, I know your band is important to you, and you love them but…please, please promise me you won’t become one of those ’ stuck up international sensations'…please.” you asked, you wanted nothing more than to see Liam succeed in his musical career, as he was only in a small band but, you didn’t want to see him become just another googled name, the ‘teen heartthrob’ you just wanted Liam. 

       "Y-yeah…listen (Y/N) I have to go. (Y/N) please call me if those men ever show up again.“ you furrowed your brow in confusion. 

    "But Liam- you aren’t going to stay?” you asked, and he shook his head. 

     "I’m sorry I have work in the morning, I can’t- I’m sorry…I’m so sorry.“ he turned, slipped his shoes on and slammed the door shut. 


     His POV: 

          Fuck! I cursed as I slammed the door to (Y/N)’s room shut, how could I be so stupid? It was a wonder she didn’t find out about One Direction by now, those damn paps…harassing her like that. I balled my hand into a fist just thinking about it. 

     (Y/N) didn’t quite know about us, how big we were as a group…she didn’t know about X Factor, or about What Makes You Beautiful…she knew we were musicians, singers….but not everything behind it. I had asked the boys to keep it under wraps for now, and they obliged unhappily -but nevertheless haven’t slipped up. 

       I hit the button for the lift incessantly until it dinged and sighed in relief, finally able to breathe once I was inside the elevator my fingers twitched and I tapped them against the seam of my jeans until the doors opened slowly and I was able to walk out to my car, pulling my hood over my head and unlocking the door, slamming it behind me and reaching over to the glove to pull out the pack of cigarettes.

       I watched as the smoke evaporated once it hit the cool air of the misty breeze that now invaded my car as I drove along the dark road. Still fuming, and now on my second cigarette I made an impulsive left and decided to swing by the gym, I didn’t care that it was now three in the morning, there was barely anyone here, the exception being a few cars scattered among the car park.

      "You curse my name, in spite to put me to shame, have my laundry in the streets, dirty or clean, give it up for-” my headphones were ripped out of my ears and I turned around, ready to strike whoever it was, just out of spite. 

      “Mate! That’s enough! You’ve been here for an hour and a half…whatever happened, it’s over now alright? Let it go,” Niall sighed, twisting the earbuds around his hand and handing them back to me. I sighed, ripping the boxing gloves from my hands and throwing them next to me as I lay down on the padded flooring, chest heaving up and down as I tried to calm myself. 

     "What happened Liam?“ Niall questioned taking a seat next to me, 

     "The reporters, they cornered (Y/N) showed her a picture of me…she was able to get away before they could give away anything significant but…it was too close.” I shook my head, checking my phone and noticing I had a voicemail from (Y/N). 

      “Liam…you can’t keep hiding this from her, sooner or later she’s going to find out. Sugarscape already has things about her in there, people know you aren’t single anymore…they just don’t know who she is. It’s a bonus that she lives far from London but…listen mate, when we leave for tour in a few weeks…do you really think she won’t find out? We’ll all be gone, Eleanor doesn’t know that she doesn’t know and Lou talks about her all the time to (Y/N), they’re going to meet at a certain point. I just don’t want it to happen whilst we’re away. Tell her Liam…she deserves to know.” he stood and backed out of the room, turning around and leaving me to my thoughts. 

      He was right…I need to tell her. 

  Part 4?