But my concern is not with gay men but with the way manly sports culture teaches all men to love men and hate women. David Kopay said that the question was not “how he could emerge from his super masculine society as a homosexual, but how any man could come through it as purely heterosexual after spending so much time idealizing and worshipping the male body, while denigrating and ridiculing the female.”
Mariah Burton Nelson, “Men in Tight Pants Embracing” in The Stronger Women Get, The More Men Love Football (1994), p.120.
If a transman wants to keep his name, he should be allowed to do that and it’s none of your business
If a transman wants to pick a name very similar to his dead name (Samantha to Sam, Jane to Jack, etc), he should be totally allowed. It’s a little cliche, but to some people it’s a reminder about where they came from.
If a transman wants to pick a name from a fictional media that they enjoy, DO NOT chastise them for it. That is one of the rudest things you could possibly do.
If a transman wants to pick a very unique name or a plain name with a unique spelling (like Nic instead of Nick), he should be allowed to without getting weird looks.
If a transman wants to pick a very regular run of the mill name to make himself feel comfortable, support him.
It may not be what YOU would choose but guess what. It’s not YOUR choice.
Trans men who want kids are still men.
Trans men who get pregnant are still men
Trans men who try to get pregnant because they want children and their partner can’t carry are still men
Trans men who don’t discover that they’re men until after they already have kids are still men.
Wanting to or choosing to have kids doesn’t invalidate your gender.