@anarchycox has ruined my life by suggesting I think about BruceClintTony.
- Clint would have such confidence issues. He’s dating two of the most brilliant men in the world, one of whom is a literal billionaire. He’s not sure why they’re slumming with a carnie who’s only worth something because he’s good at killing men with pointy sticks.
- Bruce is in awe of Clint because he’s one of the only people who isn’t afraid of The Other Guy. In fact Clint treats the Hulk with the same love and sarcasm that he shows Bruce – “Hulk, darling, could you give me a lift to that building over there? Try not to break it, I need it for a look out.”
- Because of this the Hulk goes absolutely mental when Clint gets kidnapped by Hydra. Clint smiling through broken teeth when Hulk busts through a wall – “Aw, did you miss me?” Clint being utterly surprised when Hulk cradles him to his chest and says yes.
- Tony nearly crying the first time he sees Clint working on one of his robots. Not because he’s afraid that Clint will break them, but because he’s talking to them the whole time. “Dum-E stop poking me, I can’t fix your wheel if you keep bumping me.” Clint laughing and responding to Dum-E’s indignant beeps. Clint brushing off Tony’s amazement – “Just a few loose screw. No big deal, Tony.”
- Tony building Clint an outrageous coffee maker that syncs with Jarvis, so that Clint always has cup of coffee in the morning.
- Clint suggesting totally mundane dates for the three of them that the other two would never think of. Bruce is hilariously bad at bowling, while Tony is the reigning skee ball champion.
- Neither of them will ever play darts with Clint.
- Bruce teaching Clint and Tony how to cook. Tony has Dum-E waiting by the fridge with a fire extinguisher and only cuts himself once, while Clint somehow manages to burn the soup.
- Tony being amazed that Clint always seems to know exactly what they needs. A cup of coffee will appear at his elbow when he’s working in the lab at 3 AM. Bruce will be starting to stress out and Clint pops up suggesting yoga and incense
and probably a lot of sex to get all the tension out.
- Tony is always excited about yoga because it always ends in sex.
I’m rambling and I need help because this ship is suddenly consuming my very soul.