men turning gay

[Unable to find Steve, Bucky or T’Challa] 

Natasha: Well, this calls for drastic measures. *proceeds to yank Tony’s pants down, causing Tony to shriek and Clint to scream in the distance*

Tony: Why the fuck -

Natasha: *cups her hands together* Tony has his pants down!

[sound of a stampede getting closer, children screaming, babies crying, women fainting, and men turning gay as Steve, Bucky & T’Challa run towards them]

Natasha: There they are. 

Tony: *glaring and struggling to pull his pants back up* Couldn’t you have done that without actually pulling my pants down? 

Natasha: I like the view.

This is my life

When I was nine I read the Titan’s Curse and, being a nine-year-old, took the Artemis pledge and turned my back on men

“Haha someday you’ll like boys” they said. “You won’t actually follow through on that” 

Joke’s on them because six years later I’m as gay as Dean Winchester shitting rainbows so

Pruquusexual, proquaasexual, and musicgenders as a concept, as well as the elegender pride flag and that one version of the aromantic pride flag that uses the same pattern as the ace flag with purple replaced by green (as well as some others iirc, I think the libragender flags?) were all made by a user named lesbiandoe who (before deleting due to being called out) was an abusive transphobic pedophile. She coerced and manipulated me while fully aware of my age to do sexual shit with her while I was ~14 and she was an adult. She deleted multiple times after being called out for upholding terf rhetoric and being extremely transphobic and tramisogynistic, insisted being trans is a choice and trans men are females who want to escape misogyny and said that if a trans person doesn’t come out to their partner they’re no better than a rapist, claimed viewing canonically confirmed trans women characters as gay men were “valid interpretations” and made jokes about trans women having sex with men and turning them gay.

I’m on mobile so I can’t supply receipts but callingoutsunny has a (slightly outdated) callout post and if you dig up the sources of any of those things you’ll find proof and like I was literally in a relationship with her lol I know this stuff for a fact she was literally a mod on pride-flags-for-us for a bit. Idc what side of The Discourse you’re on I like desperately need y'all to stop spreading those around and putting them on my dashboard without at least realizing where these came from and understanding that the idea of “attraction to feminine/masculine people” irt proquusexual and proquasexual was just her trying to come up with a “PC” way of saying “attraction to cis people” lol.

Gang!BTS (V, Fluff)

Originally posted by rapsuckas

Jimin // Jungkook // Suga // V // Rap Monster

THE 4TH INSTALLMENT TO THE GANG!AU SERIES. Who should I write next?

Words: 4191

“What are you staring at?” Taehyung’s voice brought you back from your racing mind, spewing thoughts one after the other. “Is there something on my face?”

“No,” you pursed your lips, still deeply thinking. Taehyung watched you intently as well, shifting uncomfortably on the sofa. You sighed irritably, rolling onto your back and shuffling over to lay your head down on his lap.

“Just thinking?”

“Just thinking,” you repeated with an exaggerated huff, earning a chuckle from him and a few head pats. Taehyung began to stroke your hair in a rhythmic motion. Gently, before ruffling it a few times between his fingers.

“Will you tell me what you’re thinking, already?” He whined, meeting your eyes and kicking his feet out in front of him. You sat up, crawling into his lap and straddling his thighs. Taehyung’s hands instinctively held your waist, likewise to yours draping themselves around his shoulders.

“How you’re so good at illegal things. That is what I’m thinking about.”

“I’m good at more than just illegal things, like making you scream-” He mused happily, but you clamped your hand over his mouth with a blush creeping up your cheeks.

“Shut up,” you snapped unhappily. Taehyung’s tongue pressed against the palm of your hand, causing you to pull away and wipe it against his cheek.

“Ew, don’t be gross…” You whined, and he grinned, moving his lips towards your throat.

“Seriously, though. How do you do it all?”

“Well,” he began eagerly, giving you expectations and sudden anticipation. He was going to let you in on the big secret. “…if you take your shirt off and show me those titi-”

Your face fell. “Don’t finish that sentence or you’re dead.”

He shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly, leaning back to examine your face. “You just need to know how to judge a person by the way they look.”

“I do that everyday and I still have no clue what you’re talking about. That doesn’t explain why you’re so good at breaking the law and not getting caught!”

His eyes darkened at that, and Taehyung was suddenly pushing you back against the sofa, a wicked grin forming on his lips. “You want me to let you in on the big secret?”

“Uh, mm…yes?” Your breath hitched when he leaned back into the same lazy sitting position he was in before. He rolled out his shoulders, earning a cracking sound that definitely didn’t sound too healthy for his bones.

“Pretend like you’re trying to get me to sell you something at a lower price than it should be.” He commanded, looking away from you and automatically falling in his calm, collected, underground gang persona V.

“You want me to act? How is this going to help-”

“Guess you’ll never know how I’m good at being illegal.” He stood, locking eyes with you and immediately smiling. On the table, Taehyung’s cellphone let out a cry to be picked up, to which he obliged. 

“What?” He picked up the phone after looking at the caller ID. You could hear the voices on the other line, telling him to do something.

“Hoseok, I already told you the deal. They only need 6 men to go, 4 in the casino and 2 upstairs. Make sure Jimin goes with them and stays in the hotel room so nobody will see him killing. It should only take no longer than 54.32 minutes to haul your asses out of their, very much alive. Seokjin should be there to see if anything goes wrong. Nobody else needs to be there. Yoongi can be on the other end to get the camera’s off but he won’t physically be there. Do you get what I’m saying? Is Jungkook going? He needs a little more practice with his hands. Don’t let the poor kid jump the gun too fast or you’ll all be dead. On second thought, don’t make him do anything dangerous. Let Namjoon figure out the rest.”

There were a few words exchanged from the other line, and Taehyung’s gaze flickered to yours. He looked conflicted, gripping the phone tightly in his hand.

“You want me to involve (Y/N) on this?” He immediately pressed a button to project the voice far enough so you could hear.

“Yeah, she knows the place almost as well as you. It’s just for a night, that’s it. You’ll need someone else to help because let’s face it- you can’t turn straight men gay in 54 point….whatever minutes. (Y/N) can hear me, right? Wear your most provocative, tit revealing dress and make sure to stick close to Tae tonight. These guys are greasy and looking for a pretty girl to fuck.”

“Me?” You choked out, looking up at Taehyung for guidance. He’d fallen utterly still, allowing the words to process in his mind. You could see the flicker of fear turn to determination before he nodded his head in agreement.

“Alright, you’re right, Hoseok. I’ll be there, so there’s nothing to worry about. Stick to the plan or I’ll cut all your faces off.” Taehyung pressed end call before Hoseok could reply, throwing his phone onto the love seat. He clapped his hands.

“You’re not going,” he ultimately decided, turning around and walking towards the bedroom you shared.

“Hoseok said he needed me! He’s right, you can’t keep whoever those guys are and their attention for that long without getting a little suspicious.” You wanted to experience first hand at how Taehyung worked with all the rolls he had in the gang. He was almost everything, from the sweet talking kidnapper to the pick pocketing assassin that kept to the shadows. You wanted to see Taehyung in his full glory, even if it was a risky move.

“No way in hell am I letting in inexperienced girl get in my way while I work. You’ll get all of us killed. Stop pushing your boobs together, that won’t fix anything. Those guys you’re talking about are massive drug lords that carry 4 guns and have men planted fucking everywhere. One wrong move and you’ll have 36 gun shots right here,” he jabbed a finger against your chest. “ and here.” another jab, except this time against your forehead.

“I won’t do wrong, though. All I have to do is distract them, right?”

He let out a laugh, obviously forced and much to strained to even attempt a facade. “Babe,” his voice was deep, face close to yours. For some reason he had you pinned against the wall, and was brushing hair out of your face. “You’re just not good enough for my standards.”

“Watch what you’re saying,” you warned him angrily. His eyes softened slightly, before he tilted his head and let his hand glide down your body. Taehyung’s large hand rested on your waist, before he dragged it against his body, lips full force and pressing against your own. The kiss left you breathless and wanting more, but he was already walking towards the door and snatching his keys off the table.

He waved inwardly, not sparing a single glance back at you. “I’ll be home later, don’t wait up.”

Your fingers gently touched your lips, before scowling at the empty door and feeling the need to stomp your foot a hundred times. He did it again. Taehyung was way too good at his job.

But you were good as well. You reached for your phone and dialed Hoseok’s number.

“(Y/N),” he answered on the second ring. “Why aren’t you getting ready?”

“Taehyung left without me. He said I’m not allowed to go.”

Hoseok cursed on the other line, before letting out an angered sigh. “He’s probably right to do that. I’m sorry for dragging you into this situation, but I’m not sure any of us will make it out of this alive. Namjoon is going crazy because half of the guys are still gone in Busan for some work while we have this shit to deal with. I really never would’ve asked you to come if it didn’t mean you’d make it out alive-”

“I get it,” you cut in. “Just tell me where to meet and I’ll be there in 25 minutes.”

And you did exactly as you said. You dressed in the most revealing thing you wore, all the while letting your hair frame your face and decking your make up out merely to make it seem like you were out to have a good time. It was a casino you were meeting at, where Hoseok guided you through the back entrance. The ties Taehyung had made with almost every business in the city was incredible, you commended him that. Thanks to him you also knew almost every shortcut and little way in to all places you needed to be.

“Focus on the dark one.” Hoseok instructed. “Taehyung will be there, but he can’t do anything about you once you’re already out and about. Don’t worry about flirting, even letting him feel you up would be preferable. Deal with your jealous bitch later.” He placed keys into your hand, which you dropped into your bag.

“Take him up to the room and Jimin will be there. Push him into the room first or else you’ll be the one getting shot. Make sure he’s looking at you. Get him a little drunk, if you must. Once he’s taken care of go back downstairs and take your next target. Put this in your ear-” yet another thing was handed to you. It was a small ear piece to which Hoseok attached to you.

“Yoongi and Seokjin will be talking to us through this. They can’t hear you unless you press the little button on it, but don’t ever reply when someone else is around. Keep that hidden or you’ll be dead on the spot. Am I going to fast for you?”

“No,” you promised, which sent him off to another flurry of explanations.

“You don’t have a weapon with you, do you? You may need a knife, but that’s it. Keep it hidden somewhere, like your thigh. Yeah, that works. Don’t take it out unless you think your life is going to be threatened.”

“Got it, now are we going to do this, or just hide back here all night?” You felt adrenaline pumping your blood and causing you to feel hot despite being so under dressed in the middle of December. Hoseok nodded stiffly, helping you wire up. He placed his finger onto his ear and you heard an echo of his voice ring through your ears.

“Plan’s set, I’m sending (Y/N) out right now. Seokjin, keep an eye on her. Yoongi, make sure you’re tracking her ear piece so we can follow her upstairs.”

“What?” A voice hissed furiously, causing you to freeze. Taehyung.

“I thought I told you not to come! Hoseok you’re fucking dead tonight, I swear to go-”

“Shut up,” Hoseok barked. “You’re supposed to be working, so do your job. I already let (Y/N) in on everything, so you better not fuck with her and screw her up. Did you hear me, Yoongi, Seokjin?”

“Yeah,” Yoongi muttered.

“Roger,” Seokjin replied.

“Good.” Hoseok took his finger away from his ear and brought you in front of him. He pointed towards the table filled with men in suits, holding cards and staring around lazily. They each had a generous amount of poker chips. You recognized one of those men to be Namjoon.

“Approach the table as if you’re interested in watching. The game should end soon. Once Taehyung shows up, go in for the kill. Seokjin is in the crowd somewhere and should be scouting out for all the other leader’s men. If you think someone’s following you upstairs besides one of the men you want, abort mission. Leave him and go as fast as your high heel’s can take you. Jimin’s in the hotel room waiting and Jungkook’s walking the halls so you’re safe either way.”

“Got it, I’m going.” You let out a deep breath, and Hoseok patted your shoulder as comfortingly as he could.

“You’ll be fine as long as you stick with the plan. This is for the city’s safety, to get rid of these fuckers.”

You nodded, fixing your hair before striding towards the table. Almost immediately you spotted Seokjin in the crowd of people, and he was pretending to be engulfed in a game going on at another table. 

“What do you think you’re doing?” A voice jeered, catching your wrist and dragged you behind a machine. Taehyung pushed you, holding you there. He was wearing all black, and you recognized him to be wearing a waiter’s getup.

“Taehyung,” a voice in your ear warned. It was Yoongi. “If you don’t get the fuck off (Y/N) right this instant I’m going to make sure you die tonight.”

Taehyung stiffened, dropping his arms from you. He shot you a glare before striding off ahead. Not to look suspicious, you let him go farther ahead before you went after him as well.

“Not yet, (Y/N).” Yoongi’s voice caught your attention again, and you turned off on the path you were headed for. “Wait for the signal from Seokjin.”

Ever so often you turned to look at Seokjin, who briskly shook his head each time. You huffed out a sigh, pretending to be waiting for someone and constantly checking your phone to see the time. Finally, after what seemed like hours, you looked up and received a wink from Seokjin. Time to spring into action.

The game was over, you knew, and Namjoon had seemed to win. Of course, no big surprise. It was either a major cheat or he won fair and square. You decided not to guess which.

“Don’t ask for his name, (Y/N).” Yoongi warned. You could hear typing on the other side of the ear piece. “Just flirt with him like you’d flirt with Taehyung when you thought he was actually a good person.”

“Hey,” Taehyung warned quietly into the earpiece, but you blocked him out and moved ahead. You spotted your boyfriend standing off in the distance, watching you, but pretended you didn’t notice.

“What a pretty girl,” one of the men at the table gawked, and you smiled, tipping your head towards him. It was Namjoon, trying to make small talk.

“Good game, everyone.” You murmured sweetly, fidgeting with your dress so it’d reveal more of the money makers. “I was really impressed, especially with you.” You turned towards the dark man.

“Good,” Seokjin’s voice rang through your ear. “Keep it natural, (Y/N).”

“Me?” The man sat back in his chair, crossing his arms.

“Mm, I for sure thought you’d be the one to win…If I could’ve, I would’ve made a bet on you.”

“You would’ve lost, sweetheart.” He chuckled, choking a little.

“Money well spent,” you winked, leaning against the now almost empty table. Taehyung had got to work as well, speaking with the 3 other men and trying to get them to go to a different room. Namjoon pressed them forward as well, you could hear the conversation playing out smoothly.

“You’re quite the flirt, huh?”

“Was I found out?” You giggled, covering your mouth. “I was trying my best to keep quiet, but I just had to talk to you.”

“Just talk?” His eyes narrowed slightly, but you noticed that it wasn’t out of suspicion. That was the same look Taehyung gave you when you had begun to win him over after a night of seducing.

You twirled some hair around your finger. “Well…it doesn’t have to be just talking.”

He was staring right where you wanted him to, at your breasts. You took this moment to brush your hair aside and reveal more, before pulling your legs apart and flashing him your panties.

“How about some drinks? I have a-”

“I have a room just upstairs, second floor.” You prayed it was the second floor. You hadn’t got a good enough glance at the key number before dropping it on your bag.

“Please tell me that’s full of whisky.” He growled.

“And a naked girl, if you want.” You leaned over his chair to hold onto his tie. The man sucked in a breath, nodding firmly. His hands held your waist, before you helped him to his feet.

A hand touched your shoulder, causing you to turn to meet the face of none other than Taehyung. He pushed you aside, leaving you utterly shocked.

“Oh, it’s you again.” The man huffed, fixing his jacket. You watched as Taehyung placed his arm around the man nonchalantly, flashing you a grin.

“Did you miss me?” He cooed towards the man.

“Taehyung!”  A voice snapped into the ear piece, causing you to flinch. “Do your fucking job properly and leave (Y/N) alone!” Yoongi was angry. You could hear him trashing around in the room, probably breaking a few things out of frustration.

“Excuse me, sir.” You tapped Taehyung’s shoulder. He turned back to you, raising a brow as if he’d never seen you before.

“Would you like something?”

“I was just about to bring my friend here to grab a few drinks…”

“Taehyung,” Yoongi warned again. “Leave her the fuck alone.”

“She’s right, pal.” The man shrugged Taehyung off, before placing a hand on your hip. Taehyung wasn’t about to give up, though, until a shrill scream sounded from across the large room.

“Someone help, get this man off my boyfriend!” 

“Go help,” you ordered Taehyung, shoving his shoulders quickly and guiding the man away. In the corner, you could see Seokjin forcefully holding a man down and slamming his fist against his face. Seokjin looked back at you for a moment, giving you a brisk nod as you walked off.

“What the fuck was that?” The man muttered, hand tightening around your waist as he let out a cough. You brought him towards the elevator, but decided against it and went for the stairs.

“Probably just an angry man trying to get his money back, right?”

“Probably,” the man nodded in agreement, moving his hand farther down your hip and gently fondling your butt.

“Save it for when we’re alone…” You murmured.

“(Y/N), you’re dead when we get home.” Taehyung’s voice snapped into the ear piece, and you smiled, hopping up a few more steps and turning.

You held your finger against the ear piece, pretending you were just scratching your ear before making your voice have the most sickly sweet tone you’d ever used.

“Come on, baby…That’s it, we’re almost to the second floor.” You beckoned him forward with a hand, moving up the steps in a swifter motion than him. The man was a good, healthy size, it was evident he worked out, but still, he looked tired.

“Don’t test me, babe.” Taehyung’s voice warned, and you let out a tinkling laugh before pulling your hand away from your ear. This was much easier than you thought.

“We’re here!” You almost moaned, opening up the door and immediately spotting Jungkook walking the halls. He shot you a quick look, pushing along a garbage can. He was disguised as a janitor.

“Which room is it?” He let out a cough, not bothering to cover his mouth.

You pulled the keys out of your bag, jingling them in front of his face.

“27.” You murmured, taking his hand and pulling him along. He pulled his hand free, using it to feel you up. This man gave you a bad, dirty feeling, it made you want to take a burning shower for the next 7 months.

“Oh, we’re here.” He turned to you, but you pushed him against the wall. Jungkook was hovering closer than expected, but the man only seemed to be watching you. You shuffled him over to the door, allowing him to press his lips to your neck as you worked to unlock the door as quickly as possible. The feel of his lips were nothing like Taehyung’s soft, moist lips that worked away your knots easily. His lips were hard, rough, hungry. You hated the feeling.

Finally, you got the door open and pushed him through, mostly so he’d stop kissing your neck. In the corner, a lamp was on, and you did your bed to make enough noise so Jimin could see you were closest to the door and not the man.

You closed the door, making sure not to turn the lock before pushing the man again, this time so he stumbled and almost fell back.

“Now, Jimin.” You murmured, and the man gave you a strange look. His eyebrows furrowed, before a silent poof brought you stepping back against the wall to avoid being shot.

The door shot open, Jungkook pushing through before closing the door and locking it this time. He flicked the lights on, coming over to your frozen body and stepping in front of you so you didn’t have to see the way the man fell to his knee’s and gaped, with no air able to run through his lungs. He left the trash can he was pushing by the door.

“Good job, (Y/N), now we need to get you out of here.” Jungkook amended you.

“Hold on,” Yoongi’s voice shot through the ear piece. “There’s a few of his men in the hall and if you leave too quickly they’ll know what happened. Wait until Hoseok and Seokjin get rid of them. I’m turning the camera’s off, so I won’t be able to see you after this.”

“Can I help, hyung?” Jungkook wondered, and 6 other voices met the ear piece at once.

“No.”

“Aw, this shit blows.” He muttered, nudging the wall with his foot lightly.

“Go put the body into the  bag and put it into the trash. Grab the rug as well and put it in the can as well, we’ll burn it later.”

“Got it, now shut up.” Jungkook muttered, going back over to the can and pulling out a black body bag. Jimin appeared in the doorway near the bed, beckoning you toward him with a finger. 

“Come here and sit down, you look ready to throw up.” He ordered, which you obliged. After the high died down, you were left feeling sick and wobbly on your own feet. He took your hand, guiding you over to the bed and sitting you down.

“(Y/N), are you okay?” Taehyung asked. You didn’t answer, so Jimin did for you.

“She’s fine, just a little shaken up. We’ll get her out of here soon.”

“Seokjin, Hoseok, hurry up would you?” Taehyung almost shouted, and you flinched at how harsh his voice sounded.

“Listen,” Hoseok began. “If you want to get to (Y/N) on time then shut the fuck up and let me do my job.”

“Mm,” Seokjin grunted in agreement, obviously occupied with something else and being unable to reply.

“Just hurry it up a bit, we should be gone in 23 minutes.”

“It’ll all work out, Taehyung.” Namjoon’s voice cut the thickness. “I believe it will. Hoseok, you’re going to lose a finger if you involve (Y/N) in anything again.”

It grew silent on the ear piece, and Jungkook had long finished dropping the body into the trash can and rolling out. Jimin watched you with doubt for a moment, before forcing you to your feet.

“You’re not cut out for this life style.”

You nodded in agreement. “You’re right, I’m not. I just…wanted to see how Taehyung worked.”

“Bad idea. Some things are better left unseen.” His voice cut you like a knife, even thought it wasn’t meant to be harsh. There was a knock on the door, before Hoseok revealed himself at the entrance.

“Taehyung is waiting for you at the elevator’s. He’s mad. Here, I’ll take the keys and ear piece back. Keep the knife.”

“No way,” you pulled the knife free from against your thigh and dropping it to the floor. Next to go was the ear piece, and you placed it gently into Hoseok’s hand, along with the hotel keys. “I don’t need that knife anymore.”

You left them standing there, watching as you ran down the hall and towards Taehyung. His arms were crossed tightly across his chest, but once you were spotted he came running.

“You idiot!” His voice was shaking as he stopped to wrap his arms around you. Your body practically molded against his, your arms wrapping so tightly around his neck you thought he would die. “Why didn’t you let me take over?”

“I-” Your voice caught in your throat, and Taehyung attempted to pull away. You didn’t let him. “I don’t know…Can we go home?”

“Don’t do this ever again,” his voice was filled with worry and warning, but you couldn’t tell what his expression looked like. “I’ll seriously lock you in the house forever.”

“I promise…I really don’t want to do this again.” Your voice was thick, and this time you allowed Taehyung to pull away from you. He cupped your cheeks with both hands, before leaning down and kissing you deeply.

'Outnumbered' Sentence Starters
  • "That's fatal because then she/he'll reply and then you'll be tempted to reply to her/his reply and then you'll get caught up in that Pandora's... circle.
  • "Whatever he/she has told you, it will be a lie."
  • "You musn't arm wrestle this little girl, because she only looks about three."
  • "You are not allergic to peas. No-one's allergic to peas. No-one in the world is allergic to peas!"
  • "You were told no drinking, no swearing, and no fighting. And I saw you punch that kid and shout 'don't touch my bloody beer'!"
  • "Is some furniture not flat packed, then?"
  • "It tasted horrible to begin with, but then I added five spoonfuls of sugar and now I feel all zingy zangy zongy!"
  • "Did you know he/she had the knife?"
  • "I didn't know he/she had the knife. Or the fish skeleton. Or the doll's head with the little hermit crab in it."
  • "You watched 'The Hills Have Eyes' and you didn’t sleep for six months. And then, when we drove to Bristol, you said the Cotswolds were staring at you."
  • "When you came in you smelled like pub."
  • "You should only hate people you know."
  • "I think that's an atheist. Satanists...do things to goats."
  • "Stop playing 'spot the chav'!"
  • "You shouldn't be prejudiced against fat people, thin people, men who've turned into women, women who've turned into men, gay people, ginger people... people who come from Liverpool."
  • "Barack Obama does not drive a number forty-two bus!"
  • "If I say we're having an argument, and you say we're not, that's arguing."
  • "What the hell is wrong with him, is he a vampire?"
  • "The romantic poets were a bunch of emos, but they also represented a rejection of the certainties of eighteenth century classicism."
  • "This a washing machine, and I am good with washing machines, and this one is not going to beat me!"
  • "You put the salad through the blender?"
  • "I'd ban Roald Dahl. He's probably ruined more children's lives than polio. Ruined them with the ludicrous belief that all adults are stupid and can routinely be outwitted by small children and the occasional fox."
  • "That's what really happens when children get to make the rules - corpses everywhere."

Also since I’m in a particularly hateful mood,

Why does this hellsite condemn 50 Shades but support K//illing St//alking?

I’m not saying to support 50 Shades. In fact if you do you’re gross and I hate you.

But how are yall okay with that same abuse happening to a gay man? Why is it suddenly “hot” when a gay man is being subjected to such horrible violence? Why does sexualized violence against gay men turn you guys on?

And I know you guys would NOT be supporting this if it was about a straight relationship. This bothers me so much because it insinuates that you guys think that mlm relationships are naturally more abusive and dangerous, which is a belief that has been held by homophobic people since forever!!