men treated like men treat women

person w bpd: i have bpd

people: wow. this is so brave. we are here for you. you. are. valid. im so sorry. life is pretty hard for you. you’re so misunderstood and hurt. we love you. you will be ok

person w npd or aspd: i have npd/aspd

people: how could you admit that? what are you, the second coming of lucifer? you’re trying to manipulate people into trusting you by being honest about your disorder. why are you so manipulative. why are you so abusive. everyone stay away from this person who is literally satan. god. disgusting. i bet you beat your wife 

Why MM:FR Was the Most Tasteful Action Movie I’ve Seen

Things that the film handled with restraint:

Rape: As countless people have said – Half of the movie’s main cast consists of sex slaves. And there’s not a single rape scene. 

Gore: The film looks exactly the type to be ultra-violent a la Quentin Tarantino. But it’s not. The one gory moment is one that you can see coming from miles away and lasts only for a second. And even then, it’s not terrible. Considering this, the movie probably could have had a PG-13 rating with minor alteration.

Sexualization: Five women wearing nothing but gauze sounds like a recipe for anything but what we got; no lingering, awkward, bodily shots. There was even a scene with a completely naked young woman with the camera focused directly on her. Guess what. The camera treated her exactly as if she were wearing flannel pajamas.

Degradation of women: Bad people get upset. We get that. Sometimes they like to swear at our heroines. And yet no one felt the need to say “bitch,” “cunt,” or “whore.” How a film managed to present about the least female-friendly society you can imagine but treated its female characters with more respect than 99% of action movies is beyond me.

Things that the film did not handle with restraint:

FLAMETHROWER GUITAR.

Gender equality: No one once says “Women are ___,” or “Men are ___.” It almost seems like outside of Immortan Joe’s freakishly utilitarian society, men and women get along just fine. Huh. Weird.

Death: Good and bad people die alike on the Fury Road; very quickly. It’s your typical action movie body count. But in a move that’s both odd and brilliant, the film spends a good amount of it’s scarce dialogue detailing what death means to the characters. For some, it’s a suicidal call to honor. For others, it’s a necessary risk to bring about more life. People die in droves. And it’s sad. Death matters.

Criticism: This is about the most critical movie of gender inequality, capitalism, and fascism I’ve ever seen without anyone ever mentioning gender inequality, capitalism or fascism.

COMPASSION: I can’t state this enough. This is a post-apocalyptic genre movie where people kill each other over sex slaves, border disputes, and cars and its message is hope and compassion. The biggest, most heroic moment of the movie is an act of healing, not an act of violence. WHOA.

men are like:

“all you feminists just got treated badly by men, every single one of you just has a personal problem, never mind how many millions of women out there are feminists, you’re all just collectively imagining things and none of your experiences matter and the men who treated you badly don’t actually exist”

no fucking shit we all got treated badly by men??? how the fuck is that supposed to reflect poorly on us rather than reflecting poorly on the men out there who are treating women like shit??

how about you acknowledge that men are the source of the problem not the women who are actually talking about their life experiences??

me beating up brown ppl (South Asians and Middle Easterns) who don’t wanna admit that our cultures are backwards and extremely misogynistic and treat women like absolute shit and they instead make excuses that western countries and white men are just as sexist when knowing full well that brown men treat women the shittiest out of any ethnic group and that no woman in her right mind would ever want to live in SA and the ME 

anonymous asked:

This probably sounds like a dumb question, but what exactly doesn't "don't fetishize m/m" mean exactly? I assumed that it meant not to treat irl gay men like something purely to get off to, but it seems that some mean "don't get off to fictional gay porn (if you're a straight woman)" or even "Don't write/ship mlm relationships (if you're a straight women)"

What it SHOULD mean is the first thing you said: don’t treat real life gay men as if they were yaoi characters for you to fangirl over; Don’t use real world tragedies or gay issues that you don’t have personal experience with as material for you fanfiction; treat actual gay people with respect and don’t ask them gross personal questions or make assumptions or anything else like that.

What antis mean when they say it is the second thing(s) you said. If you’re a straight woman (or depending on who you ask, a woman at all, straight or otherwise, or a nonbinary not-male person) you can’t get off to fictional gay porn or write m/m fanfic or draw m/m fanart. A lot of them, if you phrase it this directly, will backtrack and be like “oh, well, I don’t actually care if you do that stuff, but…” Then what is the fucking issue here? Don’t accuse me of doing gross shit I haven’t done. 

They don’t see the distinction between the two. They cry “fetishization” at every single opportunity but they never stop to dissect what that word means and why it’s a bad thing. They think if you got off to porn about X while you yourself are Y, you’re making a fetish of everyone whose real life experiences even vaguely align with that porn, because yours don’t. That’s not what fetishization is and that is not harmful.

The big problem is that fujoshi hate is never stated as “Let’s call out and avoid these specific harmful behaviors”, it’s stated as “some of you are guilty of this, therefore you are all guilty by association and I hate all of you”. It shows such a lack of basic critical thought.

Im really fucking mad cuz I’m in this nsfw group where FTM guys show off their bods to show their progress. AKA FTM DICKS EVERYWHERE. Then I scroll down and the admin made a post for us to drop shirtless pics and he said to censor pre-op nips? I commented “why do men have to censor their pre-op nips?” because I was legit looking for a place to drop my shirtless pre-op self cuz I’m so proud of my chest hair growth. I felt uncomfortable being treated like a female being told to censor myself (my biggest trigger for dysphoria is being socially treated like a female, and that’s beside the point, not even women should be forced to censor their chests so not only is this like being treated like a women, it enforces this treatment on women, which I thought we as trans men would agree is wrong??? But I guess patriarchy is a problem in the FTM community too which I prayed I would never witness).

Then he gets all “why you gotta ruin the fun man? Get out of here with your negativity.“ I LITERALLY ONLY ASKED “Why tho??” Without even going into the detAIL OF THE IRONY OF A POST THAT WAS APPARENTLY ABOUT BODY POSITIVITY BUT WAS TOTALLY THE OPPOSITE OF BODY POSITIVITY AND THIS MAKES ME A BUZZ KILL?

Wtf is this backwards shit????

Почему девушкам нравится красиво наряжаться? Почему девушки используют косметику? Почему девушки  увеличивают грудь? На базовом уровне женщины хотят, чтобы мужчины находили их привлекательными. Они хотят найти самого лучшего партнера. Чем более симпатичными и сексуальными они выглядят, тем выше шансы найти сильного партнера. Это - природа. Позвольте мне заявить, что мужчины должны  также хорошо выглядеть и вести себя, как господа. Относитесь к женщинам с уважением и любезностью, пока она не попросит, о нечто ином.

Why do women like to dress up prettily? Why do women wear make-up? Why do women have their boobs done?At the most basic level, women want men to find them attractive. They want to find the best possible mate. The prettier and sexier they look, the higher the chances of finding a strong mate. It’s nature.Some people will rail against such a cold simple idea and say it is about empowerment, about feeling good, but that is just window-dressing.But before people start to think of me as a misogynist, let me state that men have to step to the plate too. Men have to look good and men have to act like gentlemen. Just because a woman dresses up, it does not mean she is fair game to be groped or leered at. You treat women with respect and courtesy until she says she wants to be treated differently.

I feel like it’s OK for bi women to have higher physical standards for men than for women because men will never live up to the good character of women and the respect that women can give you, so like they gotta make up for it in other ways. women are just so much better people. 

if a man is gonna treat me like a trophy, because let’s be real that’s how men treat women, then I better get to expect to treat him like one, too.

Obviously their intentions are probably fucked but OP of that “have you tried women” post got a lot of shit they didn’t deserve to get. A lot of you people seem to need reminders that actually most people’s sexualities don’t just change to become more convenient when they want and the majority of people who exist (this does seem wild to me as well, I admit) are heterosexual, so “have you tried women” is both a bit invasive and also odd. I understand that this is different within the context of a world that wants women to never ask that question, many lesbians and bi women once thought they were straight, etc, but it is important to remember that heterosexuals are a real group of people, and I worry that often people lose sight of that. When you surround yourself with lgbt people, like I do, it is easy to forget how massively common heterosexuals are. Straight women are not less straight.

And to a certain extent it is irresponsible, because you know what kinds of women they’re likely to use as a bridge from men to -real- women and it’s women they think of as basically men, which means trans and butch women. I have seen this happen more than once and it results in a lot of trauma for the women who get experimented on. This has happened to almost every butch I know- some woman dates only men or primarily men, decides to try on dating women for size, finds herself a nice butch she can play dress up with, and then proceeds to treat us exactly as she would treat a male partner or shame us for not being more or less masculine, wants us to fuck the way she thinks men are supposed to but either be uncommonly soft or uncommonly masculine so that she can be more comfortable, etc. And it’s not fun to have this done to you, especially in a context where everyone around you thinks you’re a man anyway. And then when she’s done with this experiment she moves on to either go back to dating only men or treat more of us the same way or move on to treating feminine women like men too or MAYBE eventually end up as a perfectly suitable partner for lbpq women and identifying as lbpq herself.

Basically, just remember that “Everybody should experiment uwu” culture does actually leave some real live people in harm’s way, and “Sexuality is fluid uwu” isn’t any more applicable to straight women than it is to gay women. My sexuality is very rigid and not flexible at all, and so are the sexualities of many straight women. Encouraging them to try us out (as though we are a fashion trend, rather than people) is not a good move in the direction of women all being bi or gay.

Apparently this is Discourse™ now

Why is it so hard for men (specifically cis white men) to acknowledge and assist in fixing the disparity in how women, non-binary, and LGBT+ are treated in the Magic community? Like just because it doesn’t directly effect you or you don’t explicitly see it doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. It doesn’t mean there isn’t a higher barrier to entry for those groups. It doesn’t mean that people aren’t actively hurt and pushed out of the community over their generally poor treatment. This community is supposed to be accepting, kind, open. If you choose to ignore the plight of those who are treated like garbage in this community, you are actively propagating that treatment, that is, the sexism, homophobia, transphobia, misogyny, that these individuals have to deal with just for wanting to play a game that they love, then you are as bad as, if not worse than, the people who gatekeep and spew their garbage into the community. “Keep politics out of the game”? How bout no. How about we make sure that people are treated fairly and respectfully? How about we don’t use harmful/hurtful language in community oriented spaces, like an LGS? How about, especially if you are a cis white man (like myself), you use the privilege that you have, by no merit of your own I will remind you, to stand up and speak for those who are talked down to, harmed and turned away? If you want to be a *censored*, fine. Screw you, but fine. Do it in your own home, far away from the public eye, and far away from this community. Here, we value each other and treat each other with respect. If you can’t do that and can’t acknowledge how large this disparity is, get out. You won’t be missed.

Guys I have a thing.
So I just saw this post about some guy saying he wanted more men to step up and be chivalrous. And a bunch of women are flipping out and saying that they have hands and feet and money and are able to do things on their own and talking about feminism and equality. And I’m all for equality. But I also think it’s okay for some women to still want men to be chivalrous. Like yes I’m a feminist and want equal rights but I’m also religious and believe that the man should be the head of the household. Wives submit to your husbands but men also treat your wives like you would treat the church. THAT IS NOT TO SAY THIS IS FOR EVERYONE! This is me personally. I want a more submissive role in my relationships. I don’t want chivalry to be dead. I want my husband to walk on the outside of the sidewalk. I want him to open my door. This isn’t to say I won’t also do these things. Or that I’m not capable of doing them. And sometimes the man may offer to do something like pay for the meal or make dinner or open my car door or whatever. Sometimes I’ll let him. But there are also times where I will do them myself. Long story short I hate that me saying I am a feminist also has to mean I want chivalry dead. Because I don’t.

anonymous asked:

I'm female, and I've honestly never understood the point of being feminist, can you share your reasons for being a feminist? I respect everyone's decision whether they are or aren't, but yea just never understood it x

For me feminism is letting people be. It’s saying Yes to love. It’s standing up for human’s rights. Standing up for yourself and at the same moment standing up for others. It’s letting women have their choice. It’s respecting the choice and not judging. It’s BlackLivesMatter. It’s equality. It’s helping. It’s being aware of that even If you, in your country, are treated well, other women and men are treated somewhere like shit for their sexuality, faith, skin colour. It’s knowing that every human has right to speak, has right to defend him/herself.
Feminism for me is also letting people do makeup or not use it at all. It’s letting women and men wear whatever they want. Sometimes it’s also standing up against you family’s expectations and choosing your own path. It’s not caring what others think when you are you. It’s not judging someone because of the skin colour or faith. It’s being aware that having sex or not having it, is everybody’s choice.
I’m a feminist because I love myslef, I love people.
Feminism is not being afraid to say that you believe in those things and you’ll defend them.
I know that this is very simple explanation but i hope that you understand what i was trying to say If not just message me. Remember, It’s how i feel about this.
Btw sorry for my English, It’s not my first language.

a lot of trans activists suggest that women are more privileged over trans women, because women are lucky enough to be recognized as their gender at first glance- i.e. we don’t have to deal with being misgendered all the time. ignoring the fact that this isn’t even true for all women (ask your friendly neighborhood butch woman how many times she’s been called “sir”), it is like, so not a privilege to be recognized as a woman in society. 

women are more likely to be raped or sexually assaulted. women face discrimination in the workplace. women get yelled at in the street. we all know that women don’t get treated as well as men do in society. 

so when trans women suggest that women are at some advantage for being recognizable as women, i have to almost laugh. people thinking that a trans woman is a man puts them at an elevated status- people treat men with respect. people knowing i’m a woman makes me a target- i am unsafe because people know i am a woman. 

don’t ever suggest that “cis women” are privileged because people can tell right away that they should treat us like dirt.

#TomorrowInHand

Yesterday, our prime minister’s wife, self descibed gender equality activist Sophie Grégoire Trudeau made a post about Internation Women’s Day (which is today, by the way if you didn’t mark your calendar.) But instead of using her platform to celebrate important women, or bring attention to gender inequality, her Instagram post encouraged us all to “celebrate the boys and men in our lives who encourage us to be who we truly are, who treat girls & women with respect” and I just want to say- that is utter bullshit.

Boys and men do not deserve praise for treating women like human beings. That is the absolute bare minimum. I refuse to give out cookies because a man doesn’t call me a bitch or speak out against my rights. I don’t get applauded when I’m nice to men, it’s expected of me, and it should be expected of them as well. Are we going to spend International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women praising men who don’t abuse the women in their lives? No, that would be ridiculous. So why spend a day that’s supposed to be about supporting and uplifting women talking about how nice men are?

Feminism and women’s rights are not about getting men to agree or support what we’re fighting for. It’d be nice if they did, because again, we’re people and we should be treated as such, but that is not what the movement is about, almost the opposite really. What we are saying does not need to be approved or backed up by men in order to be important or relevant. That is a major part of what we’re fighting for. Our voices are just as important as men’s voices. Why would we dedicate so much time to making men support us, when we’re fighting to not need a man in order to be heard? Our rights should be considered important issues because they are important issues, and because we say they are, not because a man says that they are.

International Women’s Day is one of the very few days in the year that is solely about women. We spend the majority of the 365 days talking about and priasing mediocre men, why should we spend today doing it as well? I’m greatful for the men in my life who respect me, and who support my right to have, well, rights, but I shouldn’t have to be so greatful for that. I’m a person, just like they are. I refuse to give praise for something that should be a given. 

I am going to spend today talking about extraordinary women, how far we’ve come, and what’s left to do. I am going to dedicate as little of today to men as I can. If Sophie Grégoire Trudeau wants to center her feminism around men, no one can stop her, but really no one else should follow her example. I really hope that the criticism she gets today will open her eyes to how fucked up it is to prioritize men in a women’s rights movement. And on that note, happy International Women’s Day.

People who like Triss vs People who like Yennefer

Disclaimer: Not all YP behaves like this, but the vast majority do. Finding YP who don’t behave this way is like hitting the jackpot.

    Typical Meeting of Triss and Yen Fans

Normal Triss People: We will find Triss forums and Triss videos to watch and just be happy today.

Normal Yen People: We will find Triss videos and forums to visit so we can be obnoxious. We will make pictures and videos to argue how bad Triss is so people can pick Yen. We are so not satisfied with our choice, therefore we need to be rude and act foolish to make others agree with us.

Triss People: We love Triss, because she is caring and openly affectionate. She cares about Geralt and Ciri. She grew  and learned from her mistakes.

Yen People: Triss is different than Triss from the book. In the book, she was a terrible person, not opposing the lodge is the same as agreeing with them.

TP: Not true, she had many great moments in the books and yes she made mistakes, but we still love Triss, because she showed character growth in game.

YP: That’s not Triss, the real Triss is not that nice.

TP: Well that’s your skewed opinion. Truth is Yen also made a lot of mistakes.

YP: No, everything yen did was out of love, she loved Geralt so much she treated him like her pet, but that was out of love. She loved him, its true. So much so she almost got him killed by her other cunt scratcher, because she love him so much.

TP: Excuse me?

YP: Yeah, Yen is such a darling. Triss’s feelings for Geralt was so childish, because she showed it so easily. She embarrassed herself to show her affection. Once you get to know yen, her attitude and abusive relationship with Geralt are a sign of a strong woman and a strong man.

Strong Men: Ahem, Bullsh*t, that’s called having no balls. You can still be a strong man and have some self-respect.

Strong Women: Um please do not confuse being a bitter puss with being a strong woman. Strong women don’t use their past as an excuse to be bitter.

TP: Triss helped Geralt in the books  and games many times and saved his life.

YP: Nothing Triss does is good, because she is Triss. She is like all the other sorceresses, but when yen does something disgusting. Its because she loves Geralt and Ciri. When she used Geralt to get back at people who wronged her, that was love too, trust me i read the book, and even thought you read the same books, my views are better than yours.

TP: Triss in game is nice. Mature, she stood by Geralt side and saw him through his Amnesia.

YP: She lied to him and stole her friend’s man. She raped him in book and in game and all those other times they had sex, because Geralt is a little boy and he can’t think for himself. No one else told Geralt about Triss, but she is the worse because she believe Yen was dead like everyone else. Who cares, she is Triss so we hate her.

TP: She didn’t rape him. They were both willing participants and it was at a time when he and Yennefer were separated.

YP: It doesn’t matter. It’s rape because we claim its rape, and worse she didn’t tell him about Yen in games.

TP: Um in Witcher 1 Kaer Morhen she tried to tell him and Geralt said he wasn’t ready. In Witcher 2 when he was, she told him everything. No one told him because they didn’t care or they thought she was dead. Maybe, just maybe because Geralt wouldn’t remember and will look at them like they are crazy if they were to accurately describe Yen’s character.

YP: It doesn’t matter we say she lied, so she lied. We will use alternative facts. Geralt and Yen’s relationship wasn’t abusive and toxic. It was full of love, and those breakups were only because she’s a strong woman, and she loves him. It’s  healthy, trust me, I read the books, and I know because I read them and you didn’t. You don’t know what an abusive relationships looks like.

TP: Who read the books… We read the books and still love Triss, always.

YP: You can’t like Triss, she is too nice with Geralt, she’s not the real Triss from book. You have to like yen. It’s canon, the author wrote it. How dare you not like yen? You are a Triss fan boy or girl.

TP: I still love Triss and will always put her with Geralt and Ciri.

YP: The game is Fan Fiction anyway, because you don’t like yen. If you said you like Yen then it’s canon.

New to Witcher: I like yen.

YP: Cool the game is canon. Just ignore her attitude and she is really nice. I swear, I know because i read the books, trust me.

New to Witcher: I like Triss.

YP: You can’t! You have to like Yen she’d canon. We know because we read the books and Canon dammit Canon. The games are not canon until you like Yen.

TP: Triss grew up in game, more mature, strong. Just like she showed at the end of the books. Geralt grew up too and Geralt truly loves her.

YP: NO! NO, NO, NO NOOOOOOOO. Geralt can never love anyone else. Love doesnt change, Its canon, I play this RPG like Geralt would because, I know Geralt from the book, he’s spineless, but that is because he’s a strong man, and he will always go with Yen. Canon, books, canon. Game suck because they made Triss nice and trying to do what she thought was best.

TP: Like she did in the books? After Amnesia, Geralt got a chance to sample life with Triss, and it was better. He will definitely go with her. No man would let a woman like that go. She’s not perfect but it feels so right for him, better like he said in the game.

YP: Triss is for boys, and Yen is for men. When he said better that was the dev being nice to Triss, when he said he love Yen that was truly Geralt though.

TP: WTF why did i reply to that post?

Real Men: Um no. We like to be treated with respect, and we treat our women with respect.

YP: Deep down, we know Triss is nice, but we have to say bad things and do things to make her look bad, so we can justify picking yen. It’s canon because we say it is only when it benefit us. We use words like canon and books when its supports our choice and dismiss them when it don’t you know?

TP: Um what? I still like Triss though. She offers Geralt a better life. His friends can visit. He can still be a witcher and she continued to do what she loves. You know compromise, like a healthy relationship where you don’t ask your partner to give up what they like for you?

YP: How dare you chose who you want in the game. You didn’t read the books. Read the books and you will love Yen. You have to love yen.

TP: who read books: I read the damn books and I love Triss, always will.

YP: NO! How dare you? Yen is an Angel in Demon skin. All the shitty things she did in books and games were for love. Her mistakes are nothing compare to Triss. Triss is so nice. Ignore Yen mistakes, don’t ignore Triss’s. Trust me, I am a witcher expert. I read the books.

ME: I read the books and I love Triss. Wanted it in books but I will settle for it in games. Geralt and Triss together in the game is the best romance every in an RPG. Bias :).

YP: You suck, just another Triss fan boy.

Me: Sigh…Cool, I need to speak to people who are not so negative and confused.

anonymous asked:

you think gender is a social construct, and yet instead of pushing to tear it down like trans people do, you will call trans men 'women' and trans women 'men'... you're a tool. trans women don't get treated like men, like you think society does. nobody treats them like men. y'all call them men to insult them, but deep inside you think they're monsters. how disgusting is this? i'm so deeply sorry for all the trans women who had to read the horrors who write in here. how heartless can you be. wow

Trans people are literally validating gender, not pushing to tear it down.

If gender was torn down, there would be no way for a man to mark himself as a woman because there would be no social construction of gender letting everyone know that wearing a dress means this guy is trying to get people to act like he’s a woman, because it would be totally fine for men to wear dresses.

Saying that a man can become a woman by conforming to patriarchal constructs about how women should act is validating those constructs, not deconstructing them.

Men doing traditionally feminine assigned things while still calling themselves men? That breaks gender roles.

Men calling themselves women because they are doing traditionally feminine assigned things? That is validating the social construct of gender.

I don’t call them men to insult them, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with gender non-conformity and I support gender non-conformity.

I call them men because that’s what they are. There is nothing wrong with men wanting to wear dresses or makeup. 

You’re the one who has a problem with gender non-conforming people, not me.