The Bauman Encounter: The One Time Bigfoot Killed a Man
There have been very few reports of Bigfoot attacks on humans, but only once has someone reportedly been killed. The story comes from “The Wilderness Hunter” by Theodore Roosevelt which is a collection of stories from men living on the frontier. This particular story was told by an old trapper named Bauman who’s age had nearly gotten the best of him. He recounted the time he and his friend ventured into what is modern day Wisconsin or Montana to trap beaver.
Bauman was still a young man at the time, he had ventured out into the frontier with a friend to trap beaver. They didn’t manage to catch anything so they decided to head up to a pass which was said to have beaver. Stories told of wild murderous beasts up there but they paid no attention to them and headed there anyways. They made camp there and headed out to set some traps.
When they came back that night their camp had been ransacked by what they assumed was a bear, they would later discover by looking at at tracks that this was no bear. This creature walked on two feet. After rebuilding camp and getting some sleep, Bauman was awoken in the night by a beast looking at them through they’re lean-to. He grabbed his rifle and fired at the creature but missed. The creature ran off but the two trappers didn’t get any sleep the rest of the night. The following day they continued to trap and when the sun started to set they came back to their camp to find it ransacked yet again, the same culprit leaving it’s footprints in the dirt. That night they got extra wood to make a large fire and slept in shifts. The creature came back yet again but stayed on a hillside away from them and watched from a distance, seemingly afraid of the fire. It let out two loud moans during its time of observance but eventually left.
When morning came they decided to leave, but before they could they would have to collect their traps. They eventually split up as Bauman agreed to collect the rest of the traps while his friend went back to pack their bags. Bauman found the remaining three traps had each caught a beaver and spent hours collecting and preparing them. He headed back to camp as the sun fell behind the mountains, the valley felt dark and still. He came back to a smoldering fire with his friend’s lifeless body laying next to it. He had packed their bags and sat next to the fire to rest and wait for Bauman to return. At some point while he waited the creature had snuck up behind him biting and breaking his neck. Bauman took a short time to mourn his friend before leaving everything but his rifle behind and left the area as fast as he could.
Okay, but can we talk about how AMAZING Frontier was? Like, how did I not know that this was so epic until just now? Jason Momoa is (as always), a flawless giant badass covered in blood, Katie McGrath (as always) slays, and the plot is literally people of color + women vs. White Men™. It tickles me in all of my happy places.
While doubling for William Shatner, stuntman Ken Bates set a record for the highest descender fall in North America by plummeting off El Capitan for long shots used in Star Trek V: The Final Frontier. (He was wearing a wire support rig.) Bates is also known for his work in films like Die Hard and True Romance and would later work closely with Hollywood explosion fetishist Michael Bay on projects such as Bad Boys, The Rock, Bad Boys, Transformers and Pain & Gain.
All children, except imperialists, grow up. Such, at least, seems the lesson of late Victorian Britain, when an ideal of boyishness that never faded came to be as admired as that of an empire on which the sun never set… The play ethic prized the ostensibly natural impulses of boys and sought to preserve them rather than force them to submit to the external order of moral maturity. It was concerned with questions of fairness that might guide the players in a game, but generally uninterested in questions of a universal justice that might guide us all… [The imperial play ethic] assumed that boys or boyish men were equipped naturally for struggle on the frontier, and that a boyish spirit was so well-suited for the great game of empire that any deviation from it could be crippling. Second, it was situational: each imperial encounter was a new game to be played by locally generated rules rather than by deference to universal moral strictures. Third, it was self-consciously performative: play required great attention to one’s appearance to other players—friend and foe alike—emphasizing role-playing and conduct over interiority, and the forms of competition over its transcendent meaning. Lastly, and correlatively, play was regulated primarily by shame: in its emphasis on external opinions, the play ethic depended less on the inward sanctions of guilt than on the dishonor that followed from failure in the eyes of others.
“Imperial Boyhood: Piracy and the Play Ethic” by Bradley Deane
Japangardi Miller spent his early childhood living a traditional and nomadic Warlpiri
life. The first time he saw white men was around 1928, during the time of the
Coniston Massacre which was one of the last events of the frontier wars. He saw
the men and their guns and heard about their bullets which had already killed
many Warlpiri people. Japangardi was placed under the control of a white
pastoralist and was used, along many other indigenous peoples, for free labour
in the mines and cattle stations. He drove cattle from near the West Australian
border to near Brisbane, at the end of the trip, his boss sold the horses,
forcing Japangardi and his colleagues to walk all the way back home.
After a lifetime of hard physical work, he moved back to Mount Theo and with
his sister in law, Peggy Brown, began to provide refuge and help for
those youths addicted to sniffing petrol. Mrs Brown and Japangardi began this
rehabilitation program completely out of their own pockets, using their age pensions to run activities for the kids and buy extra food and
clothing. All their work was
His methodology was simple: take
young addicted people out into the bush, teach them traditional law and country skills, and let the power of the land and culture heal their spirit. In 1994, half the
teenage population of Yuendumu (Central Australias largest indigenous
community) was sniffing petrol, but eight years later no one sniffed
at all, and ex addicts went on to become youth leaders and community workers. Modern treatment does not commonly advise such ‘alternative’ methods
as this. Australian social policy analysts deemed petrol sniffing in central
Australia an ‘unsolvable problem’, and to primary western methods of treatment,
Japangardi passed away on the 31st
of October last year.
Leonard: We should go easy on him. Amy’s out with Stuart tonight.
Howard: Wait a minute. Are you telling me that Sheldon’s patented blend of condescension and no sex isn’t enough to hold on to a woman?
Sheldon: Cluck, cluck, cluck. What are we, ladies at a quilting bee? Or are we men playing a fantasy card game set in a magical frontier town?
Howard: Sorry. Creepy Tepee.
Raj: Annie Ogly.
Leonard: Hocus Pocus Pocahontas.
Sheldon: And may I point out it is the three of you who are obsessed with Stuart and Amy, not me. I think you need to ask yourselves who’s really being ridiculous here. (Walks away with spurs jangling)
I’ve had this dumb idea sitting around in my head for years now, originally for a fantasy novel I was writing to amuse myself as a teenager. You’ll notice some very strong inspirations from Eberron and the original Final Fantasy. Feel free to pick from this, if any of it gives you ideas for your home campaign.
The Age of Magic Is New
Magic didn’t exist on The Mortal Plane among humans and the Dwarven Kingdoms for the longest time. Sure, there would be the occasional outcry of a witch or spellcaster - but this could usually be explained away as superstition and here-say.
And then the elves arrived.
The Feywild destroyed by monsters and demons, the elves came The Mortal Plane as refugees, bringing their floating forest islands and cities along with them. They taught men magic - and how to draw powers from rifts in the fabric of reality.
In many ways, I think that masculinity is the final frontier for gay men. Even as we pass more laws to legitimize and protect our relationships, it’s the notion that gay men aren’t real men that continues to haunt us as individuals and as a movement. From Grindr profiles that demand “masc only” to men like Tovey who think their masculinity – however manufactured, however antithetical to who they truly were when they landed on this planet – is what makes them marketable or desirable, our obsession with what it means to be a man and what it means to fall short of that is keeping us from becoming truly liberated.
Noah Michelson “A Few Words on Russell Tovey and Why If It Weren’t for My Father, I Wouldn’t Be a Faggot” [x]
(983 I Teen I Complete I Model!Stiles, America’s Next Top Model AU)
Because that’s Derek Hale she’s talking about. Her older brother. The guy who had the potential to be the male version of Gisele Bundchen but decided to become a photographer instead. Stiles used to have posters on his wall of Derek in nothing but boxer briefs.
He can’t just say no to such a big opportunity, right?
Maybe Stiles can become a model after all, and if not - then at least he will be able to see Derek’s ass live.
- The America’s Next Top Model AU you didn’t know you wanted.
At first, Stiles can’t fucking believe that Derek Hale is sitting at table 22. That’s Stiles’ table. The table that Stiles waits on (one of the many) five nights a week. And Derek is sitting right there, in the flesh, sitting across from Jackson Whittemore, one of Calvin Klein’s newest models. (Stiles doesn’t give two shits if Jackson is shiny and new—Derek Hale is and always will be his favorite CK guy.)
“Dude, Cora just threatened my dangly-bits. What the fuck?” he says, taking a long draught of his beer. “And she started talking about something I did in eleventh grade that I have no id-“
The words die on his lips as he looks across the room, and there, sitting on the edge of an armchair with a relaxed smile on his face, in a well-fitted henley and jeans, is Imaginary L’Oreal Boyfriend. Or, Derek Hale.
Derek’s modeling career started as favor to Laura. He’d kept it up after she’d finished the class because it was only six hours a week and it paid him really good money. All in all, it was a sweet deal, and he’d never regretted it when looking back on it.
(8,346 I General I Complete I Warning: (Past) Abuse, Panic Attacks I Model!Stiles)
Stiles and Derek don’t start off on the best of terms. Stiles comes off as a snarky newbie, while Derek reigns as the best model to ever grace the covers of Vogue. But when they get thrown together for four seasons of cologne ads, they have very little choice other than to get along. Scott doesn’t help with his insistence that Stiles straddle Derek’s hips—for the sake of the shot, of course.
(28,970 I Not Rated (Angsty Says: Mature) I Complete I Warning: Depression, (Past) Abuse, (Implied) Rape/Noncon I Photographer!Stiles)
Pack Mentality is widely considered the new frontier in mens fashion magazines rivaling GQ itself. Head photographer, Stiles Stilinksi, is out scouting for new models when he meets Derek Hale. Shenanigans (also angst) ensue as Stiles attempts to simultaneously emotionally unravel and woo the surly, reluctant model.
“Laura sounded majorly pissed off. And Stiles couldn’t help but think ‘What the hell was it with him and the Hale siblings? Was it some kind of cosmic joke? Did he somehow spite the magnificent house of Hale in another life? Why? Why couldn’t he catch a break.’ Stiles was being overdramatic, he knew that. He tended to do that when he was stressed, or overtired or hopelessly crushing on someone who would never, in a million years, like him back. Depressingly he was gone three for three; the odds weren’t looking good.”
Grand Duchess Maria Pavlovna of Russia, wife of Grand Duke Vladimir Alexandrovich. When she first arrived in Russia, one of the American visitors to the city, Thomas W. Knox, summed up his views on this new addition to the Imperial family:
“Vladimir´s bride is good-looking, solid, well-formed, with plump and finely rounded shoulders; a neck neither long nor short; regularly formed features, with the exception of the nose, which has a slight tendency to pugginess … With her evening toilet, a coronet of diamonds, and a string of diamonds around her neck in which each stone appears as large as a walnut, she is prettier than when I saw her two weeks before at the frontier, where she arrived in a plain traveling dress of brown hollands. Say what you will, a princess appears more like a princess when dressed like ona than when attired like an English governess or a New York shop-girl. As I saw Vladimir´s bride at the frontier I don´t think many men would propose to her, but as she looks to-night at the opera she would not want for offers.”
Leonard did exactly what he always signed his tweets with.
He lived long and, dammit, he sure did prosper. He has been a major influence in so many people’s lives. The hearts he’d touched with his poetry and his actions. He will be remembered as one of the kindest, most good-hearted men to ever live.
On to the final frontier, Leonard. We will surely miss you.
Don José I the Reformer, King of Portugal and the Algarves.
One of the most difficult situations faced by the Portuguese King was the Franco-Spanish attempt to conquer Portugal, by the end of the Seven Years War.
France and Spain sent an ultimatum in order to force Portugal to abandon its alliance with Great Britain and close her ports to British ships. Don José I refused to submit and asked for British help. England sent a force of 7,104 men, which reformed the Portuguese army and combined together, they led 14-15,000 men in a victorious war against an army of over 50,000 enemies.
The Bourbon invaders were defeated by a combination of popular uprising, scorched earth strategy, famine and encircling movements by the regular Anglo-Portuguese troops, which like the militia, skilfully used the mountainous terrain of East of Portugal at their advantage.
The Spanish and French troops suffered staggering losses when they were driven out from Portugal, and were then chased into Spain.
The confrontations between Portugal and Spain in South America during the Seven Years War ended in a tactical stalemate. However, while the Spaniards lost to the Portuguese nearly all the territory conquered during the conflict, Portugal retained all its conquests.
This war is usually referred to as the “Fantastic War” or “Spanish–Portuguese War (1762–1763)”.
Accounts from 18th century authors about this war.
“The preservation of Portugal cost Spain its glory, its treasure, and an army. The Court of Spain ordered 40,000 men to march into Portugal, the Spanish forces, when they arrived at the frontier, were reduced to 25,000 men, and never did troops experience a more horrible campaign. The sick and the stragglers were almost all of them massacred. The ill-success of the campaign in Portugal covered Spain with dishonor, and exhausted her to such a degree as to keep her quiet till the peace.“
— Charles François Dumoriez
“The discrediting and destruction of a splendid (Spanish) army in the last entry [invasion of Portugal], persuaded Europe that our power was more imaginary than real. Portugal remains independent of Spain, and why our wars against it usually end in disgrace, which will continue until we take other dispositions.”
— Contemporary anonymous Spanish author
“There is no people like the Portuguese, tomorrow will have one of the worst confrontations, I checked the front lines one more time, I saw many barefooted soldiers, captains that didn’t even have a sword, I found a sentinel patrolling with a musket without doglock, which means, the musket wouldn’t protect him in case he’d be attacked. From the hillside, a group of unarmed volunteers appeared and offered their services, I asked with what, they said they were counting on their bags filled with stones. Such honorable and incredible people I was allowed to lead.”
— Wilhelm, the Count of Schaumburg-Lippe, who led the Portuguese army during the Fantastic War. (When the war ended, the Count of Lippe refused to receive any payment offered from his services to the Portuguese crown.)
The reign of Don José is famous for the great Lisbon earthquake, tsunami, firestorm of November 1, 1755, in which around 100,000 people died.
From 1750 onward, the Brazilian gold supply (which made Portugal by far the largest gold owner on earth during the 18th century) started its irreversible decline, and the price of Brazilian sugar also fell as British and Dutch demand reduced.
…Williams challenges the roles of American masculinity and traditional portraiture by replacing the idyllic female, or odalisque, with romanticized scenes of men in various states of idleness. The narratives depicted circle around an inverted version of manifest destiny wherein men abandon their conquests and choose stillness, allowing the next frontier to be an inward quest. Through various painting techniques and a neon palette, Williams drapes each figure with mixed identities that mask traditional signifiers of purpose and patriarchy in order to construct a new and sympathetic masculine mythology.