You told me of the sunset; speaking through warm hues, which I have learned to neglect. Then you asked me a simple question, but I had no beautifully profound articulation to back it up. After more than a decade of giving the same response, you were the first one to make me think about it. It took me a while to remember my roots.
Weeks later I was staring at a screen, which is not uncommon these days, when I came across a picture of a pale, violet, budded flower with heart-shaped leaves. The image’s very sight hit me over the head, with memories of the deluded, innocent, floral sweetness filling my nostrils for the first time. I too was small, sweet, innocent, as well as energetic, when I first discovered it. We had been shopping for a house and although many were much more beautiful or elaborate, there was this one my mother and I could not be pulled away from. Perhaps it was not the greatest house, but I remember the first time I stepped out on the deck, it became my home. There was a large, beautiful lilac bush, stretching up beyond the deck, filling the air with the calming scent I would forever recall with the light purple’s sight. I can still remember the excitement from my first whiff of that foreign scent of blooming lilacs, introducing the light violet shade I asked to have my bedroom painted.
From once a smell, came my favorite color.
Young summers often involved time spent in the backyard, picking blackberries, trying desperately to avoid thorns. As bees buzzed by and frightened me, I would accidentally crush the sweet berries in the palm of my hand, which introduced me to a darker shade of this blue-red blend I fell in love with. I remember putting them in my yogurt for breakfast to mix together the perfect shade of delectable purple.
From once a taste, came my favorite color.
But years have passed and slowly, I’ve spent less time outside. It took a photograph on my dash to remind me the reason why I love the color that I do. Perhaps I do not dress in it or try to wear it on my eyes, but who ever said it had to be represented physically? To this day, purple is a favorite smell. To this moment, purple is a taste my lips know well. Even now, I can hear purple, exclaiming to the world after successfully rolling down the hill on her purple bicycle. Purple is a feeling, it’s a sense. Purple, to me, is nothing short of happiness.
#33 Purple has always been my favorite color, you were the first person to ask “why?”.
I told gravity I loved him and it was good for a while.
I told myself that I held myself together
too tightly. As a solution, I let my mind wander until
he found legs of his own. He ran, ran, ran until I lost sight of him
and I felt lighter than ever before.
Running-is-the-best-cardio-you-can-do-to-lose-weight (heard by everyone with love handles from somebody who doesn’t).
So, I have been losing weight -wait- everything that once made me heavy
enough to feel worthy of gravity.
I fell in love
and let it slip through my teeth. I could not
stop slipping on my own emotions so I
taught them about growing their own legs. They now run down my face and
it looks like messed up mascara and sounds like
hiccupping, but it is
really just the way love makes me look when I am alone.
I did not fall in love. I just fell.
My own legs fail(ed) me. I have no choice but to let everything
that held me together
run, run, run
until I can no longer kiss gravity, even just as friends.
The day was gray. The sun might be shining without a care, the bird’s might have forgotten the tragedy of the night before, but Remus could not. Everything was gray. Taking a deep breath, Remus looked away from the window and turned his attention back to the solemn group assembled. With Dumbledore’s death looming over them, no one had thought to go home - Molly and Fleur had flatly refused to do so - and so they’d all been given accommodation in the castle for the night. No one spoke as the adults had a silent breakfast upstairs, and now they sat, nursing tea or firewhisky, depending on which was better for the nerves of that individual.
Yet it wasn’t just Dumbledore’s death that weighed on Remus’ mind. Indeed, something else had happened that night, something kept chasing Dumbledore’s fate from his mind. Tonks. He caught sight of her across the room, noticing that even her hair didn’t seem quite so bright. It didn’t matter. On that horrible morning, she was the only color he could see.
“Tonks,” he whispered, voice hoarser than normal for several hours of disuse and breaking the heavy silence. “Might I talk to you… Privately.”
During this summer, I caught a fever. Now I never vomited or anything, but instead I felt really hot and weak. If you know me, I love to write. I’d write anything that would spill out of my mind and as I began writing, I ended up with a poem that entertained the idea of how God couldn’t spend time with us. How our sins cloaked us with fire and if He came to embrace us He would die. Yet as the poem continued on, God still came down to hold us in His arms. He still came down to be with us even if He had to die. And as I sat there, looking at the poem I had just written, I wanted to know why. Why would God come to us in our sinful nature and embrace us? Why would God who is almighty and powerful come down to this earth and spend time with an enemy like me? Why? As I pondered upon this question, I realized that it was because He loved me. He loved us so much that He was willing to die for us.
And then I realized that I was wrong. God doesn’t die because of our sins. He doesn’t suffer when we go to Him with all our sins smiting at us. In fact, it’s the other way around. We’re the ones who die when God approaches us. Our sinful nature doesn’t prohibit us to spend time with God in the physical form. If God were to literally come and visit us, we would all die. His glory would be overwhelming for the human race to comprehend. I mean, Moses saw a glimpse of God and once he came down from the mountain, he was arrayed with God’s light (Exodus 33:18-23, 34:29, 30)! Imagine if God didn’t turn around. Moses would probably go blind (which could’ve happened with Saul), even worse die.
As I thought about this, I asked myself, “Is God abandoning us physically on earth His way of loving us?” But if you truly think about it, God doesn’t want us to die, therefore He could never come back to visit the earth physically. Yet if He loved us so much, wouldn’t He formulate a plan to save us? I understand that Jesus was sent down to die for us so that we wouldn’t have to die as a lost man. Also, Jesus’s death meant that we would have a mediator in heaven who would fight for our sake. But this wasn’t enough for me. I needed more.
If you ask someone: How does one get saved? That person might reply: Believe in God. While this is true, even the devil and his angels believe in the power of God. They know it well and fear it. However, God wants to save those that truly love Him. And if we hate or dislike God, why would we want to spend time with somebody that we hate?
Now the next question is, how do we love God? How do we show Him that we love Him just as much as He loves us? John 14:15 says, “If you love Me, keep my commandments.” If you look at Mark 12:30, it states that loving the LORD with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength is the first commandment. And in the 10 commandments, the first 3 commandments just clarifies how important it is to love Him. But isn’t it strange? How God tells us to keep His commandments if we love Him, but His commandment is to love Him with all our might? Another person might ask who is God and why should I love Him? Once again, in 1 John 4:7 it says, “God is love.” If God is love, and in order to love Him we must keep His commandments, and the most important commandment is to love Him, it’s basically saying that we love Him by being Him.
Then suddenly, it all made sense. God can’t be with us, due to His power and our weakness. His might would unwillingly kill us, because hatred and love cannot exist together. Therefore, if we become like Him, we wouldn’t have to die. When God comes back again, we would BE love. We would BE like Him. We wouldn’t be negatively affected by His light and power. Instead, we would be able to stand face to face with Him in complete awe. We would be able to spend eternity with Him, for we would be like Him. We would be a true reflection.