memory jealousy

Maybe one day, when we are ready for each other, we will walk together again hand by hand,having it our way. As for now, I hope you’re happy.
—  AM
Love Feels Like Loneliness - Thomas (Prologue) [Smut]

Author: @writing-obrien

Character(S): Thomas/Reader

Word Count: 1088

Notes: Masturbation, Fingering, Oral (male receiving), memory loss, bondage, marking, jealousy, biting. Thank you to @stilinski-jpeg for her support in this new series and also for proofreading this part for me, like an angel.



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married

a bit of percabeth fluff inspired by the song married by emily kinney



It’s totally not Annabeth’s fault that this stupid couch is so uncomfortable and small. It’s not her fault that there’s no room for Percy and her to sit side by side, just like it’s not her fault that his lap is quite possibly her favourite place to sit in the entire world. Especially when her head is buzzing a little bit from wine, which it definitely is now. So she doesn’t quite understand why the girl up the other end of the couch is glaring at them. They’re only twenty, and this is a party, right, so if Annabeth wants to sit on her boyfriend’s lap then she is going to sit on her boyfriend’s lap.

She grabs a handful of candy from the bowl on the coffee table and glares at the girl, hoping that her infamous grey eyes are no less intimidating as she munches on jellybeans. Apparently they’re not, because the girl gets up in a huff and walks off. Even though there’s now a vacant spot on the couch, Annabeth doesn’t move.

“You gonna share those?” Percy says, mouth by her ear. His warm breath sends a shiver down her spine.

“Only the blue ones.” She half-twists towards him, grinning, and pops a blue jellybean into his mouth. He holds her gaze as he chews it, and she sticks her tongue out at him.

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Hey look I wrote the Within The Wires Danatole AU isn’t that a miracle


@melchirits @hurricanesandink

In this cassette, we will focus on memories. We have talked about your memories before. We have explored them, traveled back to a time long past. We have laughed, and cried. We will laugh and cry again.

Listen to this tape with your standard issue headphones. No one needs to hear what you are listening to. Know one needs to know what you are listening to.

This is cassette #6, Side A: The Air in Here

Lie down on a cold surface. Meaning, the floor, unless you have a bench on table to lie on. No one does, of course, so you need to lie on the floor.

Close your eyes. Focus on your lungs. Breathe in… and out. In… and out. Concentrate on how your lungs expand and contract. Feel how the oxygen radiates to every part of your body. There was a place that you didn’t breathe into. Breathe into that place, the dark cove that is no longer populated.

Breathe.

Who lived in that place?

Breathe.

The cove was small, was the inhabitant small?

Breathe.

It had glittering wings and a forest of legs, you could feel this forest move and sway with your body.

Breathe.

I know this inhabitant, this creature, grabbed onto you. I know it hurt you, causing you to scream out. I know it held onto things it shouldn’t have. Things you would have missed, if you remembered them. Things like the scent of lilac, and the texture of sand, and the smell of old books. Things like faces.

Breathe.

You will feel tears. This is natural. This is expected. Let the tears fall, let them soak into your skin, feel your face soak up the tears like sunshine.

Imagine one of the faces. Imagine, say, a boy. Imagine that this boy has blonde hair, and blue eyes. Say, for the sake of exercise, that this boy has, an odd facial structure. We are, of course, not referring to an actual person. We are making one up, for the sake of this tape.

Say the boy had… still has… a relaxing voice. Say that his voice has deepened, changed, with age.

Remember this boy, who is now a man. Remember talking to him. This is a person you saw often, years ago, not every day but many days and for a long time.

Remember talking to the blue eyed boy all the time, but not every day. Remember telling him your secrets, and him telling you his. He is telling you of his brother and sister. His brother, who is no longer his brother, turned ten. And how his sister is next. He tells you he misses them, but that you are all that matters. You are telling him of your sister, who will turn ten and how you are scared of losing her. “No one is allowed to be afraid.” You tell the boy. He, again, tells you that you are all that matters. He is doing this secretly.

You tell him that you could never forget him. He tells you that he could never forget you. Both of you could never forget the other. You could never forget him.

Did you forget him?

What have you done with your life?

The blue eyed boy was moved to a school where he learned brush and bow strokes. To read music and pencil lines. The ups and downs of music and art and dance. On paper, and canvas, and tiles.

Later the boy, now man, was moved to an institute. Where he studied people as if they were painting, and music, and choreography.

Keep breathing into your memories. Keep breathing into your past. Keep breathing into your tears. Let them fill your lungs and heart until they are three large lakes. Glossy, wet with sadness.

The cove in your side grows cold and uncomfortable. What did the creature in the cove take? Was is a voice? Was it his voice? Is someone’s voice floating in the lakes that are your lungs and heart?

Who’s voice do you trust now?

Breathe into your lakes. Let them bubble and overflow with saltwater and oxygen and carbon dioxide.

I looked into your eyes, in a cafe, long after we were both ten. Long after we were supposed to have forgotten each other. I looked into your eyes, Fedya, and I saw you. You looked into my eyes and you did not see me. You’ve recognized others after so long. You recognized your own sister after so long. But not me? Why is that possible? How is that possible?

Breathe… in and out…

[Becoming emotional]

My lungs and heart are lakes. Why not me? I do not remember anyone from before I was ten, but I remember you. You remember people from before you were ten but.. You do not remember me.

My organs are lakes. Lakes of memories, and sadness, and jealousy. A forest, swaying near my right hip.

I do not like seeing you here at the institute, Fedya. The institute, where it is white, and sterile, and clinical. Where you are kept in one place like an animal in a zoo. But I like seeing you.
I like seeing you whenever I want, as I did so many years ago. To talk to you, as we did so many years ago. Breathing in, and out. Breathing as one, with our lungs, and hearts, and eyes, and tears.

In… out. In… and out.

Open your eyes. You have coml-completed this relaxation exercise. Before continuing to Side B, just… take a moment. Just, ka-take a moment and breathe. We all need a moment. It’s fine. We’re fine. Sorry. I’ll be fine.

[END SIDE A]

Mobile Masterlist:

So, I’m not sure if I did this correctly (because I really have no clue what the difference is between a regular masterlist and a mobile version), so if you’re all still having problems with it, please let me know:

Exo Scenarios:

Sehun:

  • Sehun’s Housemaid
  • Body Positive! Sehun
  • Cheating Sehun and Idol! You
  • Hesitant Sehun Pt 1
  • Hesitant Sehun Pt 2
  • Accidental Pepero Kiss with Sehun
  • Hide and Seek with Sehun Pt 1
  • Hide and Seek with Sehun Pt 2
  • Remember with Sehun
  • Backstage with Sehun Pt 1
  • Secret Santa with Sehun
  • Chocolate Bubble Tea
  • Sehun’s Holiday Proposal
  • Sweet Sehun on Christmas
  • New Years with Sehun
  • Under the Mistletoe with Sehun
  • For Publicity with Sehun
  • Sehun Taking Care of You
  • Call Me Baby with Sehun (smut)
  • Sharing Candies with Sehun
  • Feel My Love with Sehun
  • Jealous with Sehun Pt 1
  • Jealous with Sehun Pt 2
  • A Little Misunderstanding (Sehun/Kai/Suho)
  • Hugs and Kisses with Sehun
  • Sweet Kisses with Sehun
  • Unwelcome Surprise with Sehun
  • Classroom (smut)
  • Going Nowhere with Sehun
  • A Little Misunderstanding Pt 2
  • Pick Up the Pieces with Sehun
  • Backstage with Sehun Pt 2
  • Secret Photos with Sehun
  • Sehun Is Busy
  • Kiss Me with Sehun (smut)
  • Angels and Demons
  • Baby Fever with Sehun
  • Easter Sunday with Sehun
  • Unwelcome Surprise with Sehun Pt 2
  • “Look at me…” with Sehun
  • Basement (smut)

Kai:

  • Thinking of kids with Jongin
  • Cheating Kai and Idol! You
  • Not wanting to marry Jongin
  • Anniversary disaster with Kai
  • Ballet Disaster with Kai Pt 1
  • Power Outage with Jongin
  • Ballet Disaster with Kai Pt 2
  • College Playboy! with Jongin Pt 1
  • New member of the family with Kai
  • Never Have I Ever with Kai Pt 1
  • Never Have I Ever with Kai Pt 2
  • I Dare You with Jongin
  • College Playboy! with Jongin Pt 2
  • Kai’s Pathcode
  • Christmas Eve with Kai
  • First Christmas with Kai
  • All I Want For Christmas Is You with Kai
  • Cramping Christmas with Kai
  • Honeymoon with Jongin
  • Kidnapped by a Rival Pack
  • Meeting Jongin Again
  • Jongin Taking Care of You
  • Missing Passport with Jongin Pt 1
  • Dancing with Jongin
  • Kai’s Sweatshirt
  • Fluff with Kai
  • Approval with Jongin
  • Kidnapped by a Rival Pack Pt 2
  • Missing Passport with Jongin Pt 2
  • Massage with Jongin
  • A Little Misunderstanding (Sehun/Kai/Suho)
  • Say Goodbye with Kai
  • Waking Up with Jongin
  • Worried Jongin
  • Singing to Kai
  • A Possessive! Jongin
  • Taking Care of Jongin
  • Staying in with Jongin
  • “Don’t Trust Me.” with Kai
  • Shopping with Jongin
  • “Where are you?” with Jongin

Tao:

  • Moving in with your best friend Tao
  • Angst with Tao
  • At the Carnival with Tao
  • Tao Undercover
  • Christmas Alone with Tao
  • I Hate You? With Tao
  • Tao’s Pathcode
  • I Like You Tao
  • Friends with Tao (male reader)

D.O:

  • Kyungsoo vs. Chanyeol
  • Nightmare with Kyungsoo and your daughter
  • Kyungsoo gets angry
  • “I’m not cut out for this.” with D.O
  • Thunderstorm with Kyungsoo
  • Crush on your sunbaenim Kyungsoo
  • “It’s all your fault!” with Kyungsoo
  • “Shit, are you bleeding?” with Kyungsoo
  • Trick or Treating with Kyungsoo and your kids
  • Married to Kyungsoo
  • Standing in the rain with D.O
  • Bad Timing with Kyungsoo
  • Just Friends? with D.O
  • Fatherly Kyungsoo
  • Surprise with Kyungsoo
  • Taking Care of Kyungsoo
  • Mix Up with Kyungsoo
  • Confession to Baker! Kyungsoo
  • Language Barrier with D.O
  • Elevator Confession with Kyungsoo
  • Guiding Kyungsoo
  • Sing For You with Kyungsoo
  • Snowy Day with Kyungsoo
  • Becoming Distant with Kyungsoo
  • Books and Blankets with Kyungsoo
  • Angst with Kyungsoo Pt 1
  • Not Real with Kyungsoo
  • Snow storm and Coffee with Kyungsoo
  • What Is Love with Kyungsoo
  • Surprise Party for Kyungsoo
  • Cheating Kyungsoo and Idol! You
  • Congratulations with Kyungsoo
  • First Time (smut)
  • Angst with Kyungsoo Pt 2
  • Comforted by Kyungsoo
  • Between Kyungsoo and Jin (EXO/BTS)

Chanyeol:

  • Jongdae and a Jealous! Chanyeol
  • Angst and Chanyeol
  • Chanyeol gets angry
  • “Just breathe, okay?” with Chanyeol
  • Compared to Chanyeol’s ex
  • Thunderstorm with Chanyeol
  • Complicated Love with Chanyeol
  • Pheonix! Chanyeol
  • Chanyeol’s Paper Airplanes
  • Be Careful with Chanyeol
  • Remember with Chanyeol
  • Car Accident with Chanyeol
  • Secretly Dating Chanyeol
  • Speechless with Chanyeol
  • Meeting Chanyeol for the 1st Time
  • Not So Secretly Dating Chanyeol
  • Baking Cookies with Beagle Line
  • Phone Call with Chanyeol
  • Suspicious Christmas with Chanyeol
  • Kidnapped by a Rival Pack
  • Chanyeol in America
  • Jealousy with Chanyeol Pt 1
  • Memory Loss with Chanyeol
  • Jealousy with Chanyeol Pt 2
  • Kidnapped by a Rival Pack Pt 2
  • Alone Time with Chanyeol
  • Making Room with Chanyeol
  • Regrets with Chanyeol
  • Virgin (smut)
  • Cheating Chanyeol and Idol! You
  • “I’m Right Here.” with Chanyeol
  • What Dating Chanyeol Would Be Like
  • Missing You (smut)
  • Movie with Chanyeol
  • Crush on Chanyeol
  • Honeymoon (smut)
  • Chanyeol Keeping You Company
  • Fighting Over Jagiya (Kyungsoo/Chanyeol)
  • Threesome (Baekhyun/Chanyeol smut)
  • Cheating Chanyeol and Idol! You Pt 2
  • Courage with Chanyeol
  • *Alternate Ending* to Jongdae and a Jealous! Chanyeol

Chen:

  • Waking up next to Chen
  • Chen saves you from drowning
  • Prank gone wrong with Chen
  • Really Cheesy Chen
  • Sweet Sunbae Jongdae
  • Possessive Chen
  • Secretly Dating Chen
  • Neighbor! Chen
  • Bumping into Chen
  • Baking Cookies with Beagle Line
  • Singing For You with Chen
  • Christmas Surprise with Chen
  • Studying on New Years with Chen
  • Convinced with Jongdae
  • “When were you going to tell me?” with Chen
  • Cheese-Ball Chen
  • We Were Happy Once
  • Fluff with Chen
  • Thunderstorm with Chen
  • Scared to Get Married to Jongdae
  • Surprise with Chen
  • Couple Clothes with Jongdae
  • Shower (smut)
  • Sitting Next To Chen
  • Vacation with Jongdae
  • Video Chat with Chen
  • At the Airport with Chen

Baekhyun:

  • Baekhyun and his small feet
  • Baekhyun in America
  • Bad Boy! Baekhyun
  • Highschool AU! with Class Clown! Baekhyun
  • Dating Quarterback! Baekhyun
  • Baekhyun vs. Sehun
  • Moving on from Baekhyun with Jin (EXO/BTS)
  • Rollercoaster with Baekhyun
  • Cousin’s Wedding with Baekhyun
  • Baekhyun Prince AU!
  • Baking Cookies with Beagle Line
  • Baekhyun, the Surprise Guest
  • Mistletoe Virgin with Baekhyun
  • Baekhyun in America Pt 2
  • Missing You with Baekhyun
  • Beneath the Cherry Blossoms with Baekhyun
  • Thunderstorm with Baekhyun
  • Laughter (smut) 
  • My Funny Valentine
  • Midnight (smut)
  • Fatherly Baekhyun
  • Going Public with Baekhyun Pt 1
  • Hide and Seek with Baekhyun
  • Fluff with Baekhyun
  • Threesome (Baekhyun/Chanyeol smut)
  • Rate Me with Baekhyun
  • Proud with Baekhyun

Yixing:

  • Bad Boy! Yixing
  • Almost breaking up with Yixing
  • Surprise Visitor with Lay
  • First Christmas with Yixing
  • See You Again with Lay
  • Too Late with Yixing
  • Comforting Yixing
  • Waking Up with Yixing
  • In Love with Yixing

Suho:

  • Moving in with Suho
  • Regretful Junmyeon
  • Injured featuring an angry Suho
  • Zombie AU! with Suho
  • Suho taking care of you
  • Jealous of the Beagle Line with Suho
  • “Hello, it’s me…” with Suho
  • Biology Partners with Suho
  • Truthful Suho
  • Do You Even Like Me with Suho
  • Fatherly Suho
  • White Christmas with Suho
  • Wrapping Presents with Suho
  • New Year’s Kiss with Suho
  • A Little Misunderstanding Pt 1 (Sehun/Kai/Suho)
  • A Little Misunderstanding Pt 2
  • Thunderstorm with Junmyeon
  • Fluff with Suho

Kris:

  • Locked in a closet with Kris
  • Choosing between Kris and Sehun Pt 1
  • Choosing between Kris and Sehun Pt 2
  • “It doesn’t change anything.” with Kris
  • Trick or Treating with Kris
  • Dating a Jealous Kris
  • Surprise in Disguise with Kris
  • Decorating the Tree with Kris
  • Unrequited with Kris
  • Fluff with Kris
  • Thunderstorm with Kris
  • Waking Up with Kris
  • Protective (Ot12)

Luhan:

  • Taking a nap with Luhan
  • Luhan College AU
  • Pretend Boyfriend with Luhan
  • Christmas Sweaters with Luhan
  • Noona (smut)
  • Back In Korea with Luhan
  • Neck Kisses with Luhan

Xiumin:

  • Xiumin and the baby
  • Thunderstorm with Minseok
  • Coffee Shop AU! with Xiumin
  • Stressing about Finals with Xiumin
  • Just Because with Xiumin
  • Studying for Finals with Xiumin
  • Surprise from sunbae Xiumin
  • Holiday Pen Pal with Minseok
  • First Christmas with Minseok
  • Coffee with Minseok
  • New Years with Minseok
  • Fluffy Xiumin
  • Waking Up with Xiumin
  • Fainting In Front of Minseok
  • Xiumin’s Little Sister
  • Promise with Minseok
  • Hooking Up With My Boss Minseok Pt 1

EXO Series:

  • “Don’t touch me.” with Sehun Pt 1
  • “Don’t touch me.” with Sehun Pt 2
  • “Don’t touch me.” with Sehun Pt 3 
  • “Don’t touch me.” with Sehun Pt 4
  • “Don’t touch me.” with Sehun Pt 5
  • “Don’t touch me.” with Sehun Pt 6
  • “Don’t touch me.” with Sehun Pt 7
  • “Don’t touch me.” with Sehun Pt 8
  • “Don’t touch me.” with Sehun Pt 9
  • “Don’t touch me.” with Sehun Pt 10
  • “Don’t touch me.” with Sehun Pt 11
  • “Don’t touch me.” with Sehun Pt 12
  • “Don’t touch me.” with Sehun Pt 13
  • “Don’t touch me.” with Sehun Pt 14
  • “Don’t touch me.” with Sehun Pt 15 (Final Part)
  • Arranged Marriage with Sehun Pt 1
  • Arranged Marriage with Sehun Pt 2
  • Arranged Marriage with Sehun Pt 3
  • Arranged Marriage with Sehun Pt 4
  • Arranged Marriage with Sehun Pt 5
  • Arranged Marriage with Sehun Pt 6
  • Arranged Marriage with Sehun Pt 7
  • Arranged Marriage with Sehun Pt 8
  • Baekhyun College AU Pt 1
  • Baekhyun College AU Pt 2
  • Baekhyun College AU Pt 3
  • Baekhyun College AU Pt 4
  • Baekhyun College AU Pt 5
  • Baekhyun College AU Pt 6
  • Secret Agent Yixing Pt 1
  • Secret Agent Yixing Pt 2
  • Secret Agent Yixing Pt 3
  • Secret Agent Yixing Pt 4
  • Secret Agent Yixing Pt 5
  • Secret Agent Yixing Pt 6
  • Secret Agent Yixing Pt 7
  • Secret Agent Yixing Pt 8
  • Secret Agent Yixing Pt 9
  • Bachelorette AU - Exo M Intro
  • Bachelorette AU - Exo K Intro
  • Bachelorette AU - First Impression
  • Bachelorette AU - Group Date 1
  • Bachelorette AU - Junmyeon Individual Date 1
  • Bachelorette AU - Yixing Individual Date 1
  • Bachelorette AU - Going Home 1

Birthday Scenarios:

  • Happy Birthday Ee Nara (Kai scenario)
  • Birthday Proposal with Chanyeol (yoongi-insfires-me)
  • Sharing a Birthday with Luhan (xxforever-fangirl)

Exo Reactions:

  • CLINGY AND CUDDLES (OT12)
  • WALKING IN ON THEIR SHOWER (OT12)
  • SEEING YOUR FAVORITE BAND LIVE (OT12)
  • FIRST ANNIVERSARY (Exo K)
  • EMOTIONAL ABOUT ANIME (Chanyeol/Kai)
  • CEO’S DAUGHTER (Chanyeol, Sehun, Kyungsoo, Kris, Suho)
  • SHY GIRLFRIEND (Exo K, Tao instead of Suho)
  • MEETING THE MEMBERS (Exo K)
  • JEALOUS (Exo K, Chen instead of Chanyeol)
  • CLAUSTROPHOBIC (Xiumin, Suho, Chanyeol, Kyungsoo, Kai)
  • AFL (Kyungsoo, Kai)
  • SICK (Xiumin, Kris, Chen, Chanyeol, Kyungsoo, Sehun)
  • SHIPPING (Chanyeol, Baekhyun, Kai, Sehun, Kyungsoo)
  • BILLIONIARE (Exo K)
  • IN HIS BED (Minseok, Yixing, Jongdae, Chanyeol, Kyungsoo, Jongin)
  • IDEAL TYPE (Minseok, Kris, Baekhyun, Chanyeol, Sehun)

BTS Scenarios:

  • Watching a movie with Jungkook (smut)
  • Making cookies with Jungkook
  • Paper Hearts with Jungkook
  • Fan Signing with Jungkook
  • Christmas Surprise with Taehyung
  • Are We Ready? With Taehyung
  • Dancing with Taehyung
  • Jimin Gets Jealous
  • Flirting with Jimin
  • Scared with Hoseok
  • Ice Skating with Namjoon
  • Flirting with Namjoon
  • Flirting with Namjoon Pt 2
  • Taking Care of Yoongi
  • Cast Away with Yoongi
  • Protecting Yoongi
  • Cast Away with Yoongi Pt 2
  • Christmas Painting with Jin
  • Thinking Out Loud with Jin
  • Shiver with Jin
  • First Kiss with Jin

BTS Reactions:

  • AFL (Jin, Namjoon, Jimin, Jungkook)

Drabbles (x):

  • Accidental Cuddling with Kris
  • Jongin Hitting You in the Face
  • Scared Awake by Jin
The Constant Battle

“I had a dream,” I begin, shifting in my seat trying to get comfortable in a chair that was not to my liking. She waits for me to settle down with practiced patience.

I finally concede to folding one long leg over the other and not meeting her eyes because I’d probably get indignant at her even expression and lecture her about her choice of furniture – a distraction, she would point out, and an argument would prevail.

“I had a dream where I was minding my own damn business and I suddenly spy a tattoo. It’s an elaborate rose and the petals are little lines of a script. It catches my eye for two reasons: it’s brilliant in terms of skill and art, and it seems familiar, even from afar.”

My hands let go off my leg at this point and wave about for emphasis and to help eloquence find its way out of my mouth. Sometimes the words get stuck between my teeth and spurt out as a garbled mess.

“So, I ask the owner – is that the right term for a person who has a tattoo – are you the owner of the tattoo?”

She looks at me, starts to form an answer, and changes her mind. She knows if we get into this, I will never get past this point of the session.

I clear my throat and continue, “anyway, so I ask the person for permission to examine this gorgeous tattoo and he’s proud to show it off anyway. It’s on his tanned forearm and there I am, holding his arm as if holding an antique book and reading the script of words within the rose, and guess what?”

She raises an eyebrow.

“It’s a poem. MY poem. But it’s not credited to me. It’s credited to someone else.”

She makes the effort to understand the surge of emotion in my voice and the struggle to stay even-tempered.

“It’s my fucking poem, it’s tattooed permanently on some punk’s skin, and it’s not even credited to me. This was scandalous to me on some godawful level. I felt this liquid fury form in the pits of my stomach and I lashed out. I hacked the tattoo off. I ripped the canvas of his skin off. And it was bad. I mean, horror movie bad. Horrific.”

I shake my head and readjust my feet. But the restlessness is too much and I leap up and start pacing.

“Suffice to say, it left me shaken. I’m not violent in nature and all that blood - yeuck. But the whole episode felt so savagely bizarre. Who was that ‘me’?”

I run my hand through my hair, as chagrin pools at my ankles.

“You have to understand that I’ve been plagiarized before. I mean, literally. Poems taken from my blog and posted as their own. And I’ve just been meh about it all. I’ve tried to keep myself from being too emotionally invested in my work such that if it’s good or it’s bad or it’s deleted or it’s stolen or whatever the outcome, it does not, or rather, it should not have an earth shattering, globe shifting effect on me.”

“But it has,” she surmises.

“Inevitably. I think that it hasn’t bothered me before because it’s been inconsequential. No awards or rewards given to the thieving bastards. But, in my dream, where there was a permanent effect, recognition, concrete evidence that something once mine no longer is…that bothered me to no end. That bothers me.”

She nods her head and taps the pencil against her pad in a rhyming tat-ta-tata-tat. The clock ticks serenely in the background, an accompaniment to her tapping, and my shuffling feet. I move over to the window, looking down at the marching ants of humans and crawling maggots of cars.

She interrupts my silence with: “I detect shame within your narration. Shame that you too feel possessive over what’s rightfully yours. That you too feel such a basic and wasteful emotion such as petty jealousy that someone tattooed the words of others on their skin, and not yours, but essentially yours, but not correctly accredited to you. Shame that you feel slighted by the denial of experiencing the flattery of such a tribute, such an honour.”

She pauses to let her words sink in past my armoured psyche. And they do. I bury my face in my hands and grunt.

Her voice takes on a kinder tone, “you’ve been conditioned to see these negative emotions such as jealousy and dismay as petty emotions. Worthless and not becoming of you. Someone set the standards very high of what you should be and what you should not be–”

“We all know who!” I interject. But she doesn’t let me get away with it.

“You are your own person. You let yourself be defined by the choices you make.”

“Yes, I get all that, but wouldn’t you agree that jealousy is a bad thing that has no cure an if you give in to it there’s no escaping it?”

I think I’m wearing an eager expression on my face – I so dearly want her to agree with me – that she breaks into a smile. It’s almost sympathetic.

“But this is always the thing with you. Afraid of your natural instincts; you fear that if you acknowledge that you are jealous, you’ll turn into a monster and no one will like you.”

Dammit.

“You need to have more faith in yourself. In your goodness and your sensibility. And to pull a leaf from your own book –” she glances down at the words I told her to write down in a previous session, and looks up with a winning smile “– just be.”

“Human. Flawed. And all that.” I sigh. “Just be”

anonymous asked:

Do you know any SS fics where they break up or one rejects the other? Or any fic with a jealous Sasuke? I have to say though that you are super nice and I love your blog :)

thank you! <3 ;/////w/////;  

but yeah, i know quite a lot of them i think! i’ll tell you which ones they are in parenthesis since you requested like three different things haha. 

“The Devil’s Own” Part 8: Demons

The Winter Soldier x Reader (Black Widow)

With Bucky remembering your history, ambushed, and now gone missing, you and your teammates have begun to search for him. Back in 2003, a mission gone wrong weaves together your fate with the Winter Soldier.


2 May, 2003 Dublin, Ireland



James lay back on the bed of the small hotel room. You’d been there for a week; undercover as a pair of  smugglers. Technically you had two hotel rooms, but neither of you had been spending much time in the adjacent one. This one was yours, and James had made himself at home in it. Or, as at home as a Hydra assassin really could. His clothing and weapons were through the door, stacked up and set aside and ready to go on his table. But his body was always here in your room.



It had been a long week, meeting people, getting acquainted with the lower levels of society, and preparing for the job the next night. There was going to be a party at the home of an underworld kingpin in Killiney Hill. He resided in an opulent mansion, his money laundered through a series of business fronts including several dry cleaners, a restaurant, and a travel agency. You needed to take him out at the party through a slow acting poison and leave, so that when he eventually died you would be long gone but it would create a veritable Clue game of potential suspects; meanwhile finding out where the shipment of the rare Earth metals was that Hydra needed most. The realistic way to deposit the poison was through a certain amount of seduction. You had been afraid that would not sit well with James, but much like you he knew it was just a part of your job. You were glad that it wasn’t an issue. It wouldn’t have mattered if it were; you had to do it. Hydra and the Program could never know about your affair with the Soldier. Refusing to flirt with a target would draw suspicion.


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