This is what i believe to be true for my canon. It’s not really confirmed for me yet, but it’s what I believe.
So as you know, LazyTown was a very small town. And I’m sure some of you noticed that there are a lot more houses than just the ones of the people we see on tv. And I think it was mentioned that maybe those houses were those of elderly people who never went out of the house. This is true. Most of them were too ill or weak. I started a program were i worked with them a few times a week, to be more active but on a level that wasn’t too much for them. But my real focus was the kids.
LazyTown didn’t have much to offer as far as jobs go, so most of the adults including the parents drove out of town to work. Most of them couldn’t afford to drive the commute every day, so it was common for them to stay in the city the whole week and only come home during their off days. The town had made the commitment long ago before I arrived that everyone would work together to raise the children. There were so few children, it was a reasonable thing to do. And this allowed the parents to not worry as much about leaving their children for extended amounts of time.
Since the mayor and Bessie were the only adults that stayed in town and were still young enough to get around just fine, they took on most of the work. And in a way Robbie did, too. But he had his own agenda, I believe… From what I understand, he initially did most of the work in raising the children. He really got to know them and their behaviors and personalities, likes and dislikes. Then he used that to instill laziness in them. He lead a lazy life himself, and he liked that lifestyle. So maybe he had felt he was doing them a favor, or maybe it was for selfish reasons. I’m really not sure. But he passed that lifestyle on to them nonetheless.
But the thing is, children need to move. It’s a natural desire. Something we’re born with. Wanting to be lazy – in most cases, that’s learned over time and it deeply suppresses our natural desire to move and play. Robbie was on his way in instill this lazy behavior in them. The Mayor and Bessie kind of just let things be what they were bc they were used to Robbie doing most of the attending to, and they didn’t know any better. They had their hearts in the right place, but they weren’t trying hard enough, and they were very mislead like the children.
When I moved to LazyTown, I adopted that responsibility of raising the children. I think Stephanie sparked something in the Mayor though, bc my understanding is that shortly after she arrived, he became more motivated than ever before. So he and I worked together to really raise the children in the way we believed was best for them. I’m fine with them having a little bit of sweets sometimes, or playing video games and being on the computer sometimes. But Robbie had that covered and more, so it was my responsibility to bring them back into balance, if you will.
And, well, that’s were the show starts, basically.
On my previous fanfiction, there has been a sudden occurrence of 56 notes… WHERE DID YOU PEOPLE SUDDENLY APPEAR FROM?! I mean, I’m fine with it bUT HOLY CRAP
Flug was used to being alone in his lab, he had everything to work for in that lab, his life, his food, his sleep, his emotions, his friends. He enjoyed being in the lab late at night to catch some glimpses of the stars through his curtain covered windows, drawing them back and tying them to one another to see more clearly.
To take breaks and take little naps, he’d watch them twinkle through the windows despite being late already on a project. It was fairly calming to him, kept him from going fully crazy and insane like the demon he sold his life to.
Sometimes, the big blue bear, 5.0.5., would crowd around him and curl up beside him, allowing himself to be used as an arm rest or pillow. The two were like servants to Black Hat, proving Demencia to just be annoying and useless in Black Hat’s eyes.
But in his lab, Demencia turned out to be big help sometimes. If Flug had gotten seriously injured from his work habits and projects, she’d help him fix the wounds without the alarm from Black Hat.
She’d also keep him company whenever he was close to falling asleep, her annoying words usually keeping him awake to work longer on the project. Or when he fell asleep by the window, drowsily watching the stars, she’d wake him up by shouting that Black Hat would be angry if he didn’t get to work soon.
But he had bad memories in the lab too, memories like terrible wet dreams of his boss that he never would mention to A N Y B O D Y.
He’s been beaten to a pulp in that lab before for being a whole hour late for an auction with the project. He had been harassed by Demencia for his crush on their boss so many times. Including the tiem where she spoke out loud enough for the boss to hear, “I CAN’T BELIEVE THERE’S SOMEONE ELSE WHO LIKES HIM!”
It was enough for Flug to shove her away and put duct tape on her mouth and strap her to his recent project; an electric chair. Then, Black Hat applauded him for the effort, but now, Black Hat ignored it and carried out whatever he was doing previously.
It was as though Black Hat was tiring of constantly seeing Dr. Flug’s masked face. It even saddened Flug enough to consider digging through his memories for his old happiness in high school like his boss had instructed him NOT to do.
And after remembering certain happy memories, having a girlfriend in sophomore from earning medals by being a straight A student all of his education life in science and attending, maybe winning science fairs. All those happy memories made him weep at night, when he stared at those stars.
He missed those days, the days of accomplishing so much in such little time. He wasn’t sure which era of his life he liked more though, both were actually similar.
From the bullies in highschool who wanted his homework for science to a demon bully wanting his science projects to sell for self-worth. From the girls who annoyed him with their teasing to Demencia, his own creation who tortured him endlessly about every move he made and every word he said.
He couldn’t decide. He never would be able to actually. Both eras of his life were full of expression, fear, joy, happiness, accomplishments, and exhilarating events. All of it was around his favorite subject too;science.
where do I put down the things I know/ your favourite wine/ how your parents’ marriage used to be a mess/ maybe it still is/ maybe that’s where you learnt/ the wrong way to love/ how do I put down these things/ that serve no purpose/ but to not let me forget
Okay, so my high school had this program where seniors could leave school like a month and a half early and opt out of exams if they took on internships around the neighborhood, but not everyone wanted to/was eligible to do it. Back in like 2013, they had like 15 bored seniors stuck in the school, so the administration brought in this Professional Life Coach, left him in alone in a room with them for two hours to talk to them about like, self-esteem or some shit. All the kids were pulled out of their classes for this*, and later told the administration that they loved him, they really enjoyed the talk.
So, about a year later, we have a new principal. He’s supposed to set up an assembly for all the 11th and 12th graders, but he doesn’t know what to do. One of his coworkers mentions that there was a life coach that was a huge hit with the kids that didn’t do community study last year, so maybe he’d also be great for a larger audience. The principal basically thinks “okay, what the hell” and calls up and hires Jason C. Jean to come talk to the kids.
Now, it’s like, 10:30, maybe 11:00 in the morning, and two entire grades are getting shepherded to the main gymnasium, and no one wants to God damn be there. We ain’t got time for self esteem talks. We want to sleep. And this guy, watching us all drag our feet in and collapse into the bleachers was just like…offensively peppy. There’s a couple faculty members sitting behind him, the woman who suggested he be hired for this, the vice principals for the grades- but the principal himself kept getting calls so he was in and out the whole time.
Now, Mr. Jean was like…the chill “Just call me by my first name dude” history professor at college times 30. He was trying so fucking hard. I’m referring to him as ‘Mr. Jean’ in this story just to be disrespectful. So anyway, we all get in there, and he tells us right off the bat “You guys are totally allowed to be on your phones and laptops during this! I get it! It’s no problem, like really, I insist!” so while the faculty members are exchanging smiles that read ‘how do we kill that while respecting him’, all the kids are immediately pulling out their electronics and he’s starts his speech.
Now, again, I really wanna reiterate that he told us we could be on our phones- because when the news articles started coming out about this, I remember all these angry, annoying comments from old people like “Why the hell were the students on their phones in the first place! So disrespectful! These damn millennials and their social media!” like, they were completely ignoring the entire story and just focusing in on kids using the internet, and it Really Super Pissed Me Off, so. Again, we had permission for this (which also ended up being Mr. Jean’s fatal mistake).
So, he starts off this speech fairly normally, like ‘hi, I’m Jason, I’m a professional life coach and I wanna teach you kids about how to be The Best You!’ and like people were tuning him out and listening to varying degrees. Some kids (like myself) were kinda dozing off, and everyone was on twitter or facebook.
His approach to a self esteem speech seemed to be ‘let me tell you my entire life story for hours’ and like, at first I was like “I’m not really hearing this, I’m half dreaming right now” but the more I started making myself pay attention the more…bizarre and rambling his story got.
So like, for instance, he told us he drank a lot in high school. Like, a lot. But he didn’t use that as a ‘don’t drink or party too hard’ lesson, instead he was like “I was fourteen so I always called my parents to pick me up, and they weren’t mad because they knew it meant I could trust them. So remember, always tell your parents when you’re drinking!” and then it kinda got to a point where it sounded like he was encouraging partying and drinking and the like to the group of underage kids.
And then, he told us how he used to play baseball all the time when he was a kid, and at 16 reached a crossroads in his life where the Phillies wanted to draft him or he could go play football for Penn State. And he said he went with Penn State but later lost the scholarship for some reason and we’re like…really.
There was absolutely nothing coherent about anything he was saying- nothing that tied anything together, made a point, seemed like it had anything to do with an assembly on self esteem. He told us at one point he was making upwards of 7 million a year. He told us one time before college he was homeless. He told us he used to own a construction company and built his own branch of nightclubs himself, that he and his friend then ran. He told us he fought a shark and came out with no scars. He told us that he had less money now, because after surviving a work related accident- direct quote- “I fell almost 30 feet and I broke in half” - he decided to leave that industry and spend more time with his family.
So, yeah, I was pretty positive this was bullshit, but there were clearly kids in the room that were falling for it. But then he said something like…he and his friend got bored one day and started jarring up their own pasta sauce, and made a deal with wegmans or some store like that to start selling it, and now he has a pasta sauce empire. Like he spent 15 fucking minutes on this. The way he kept saying ‘pasta sauce’ was so annoying I was about to claw my ears out. But anyway, two girls in my grade wanted to find out what brand he was talking about, so they googled his name.
And then quietly gasped.
And then furiously started typing into their phones.
And remember- everyone, even though they were paying attention- was on twitter and facebook. All the sudden I see heads flying up and wide eyes and people whispering to each other. Mr. Jean doesn’t seem to notice the change and keeps rambling on, but I know something happened so I google him too and-
Okay so basically he’s 1) been arrested, 2) filed for bankruptcy like three times and 3) has been hailed as a ‘Swinger Guru’ by playboy.
EVERYONES SILENTLY FLIPPING OUT.
So by now, this is a fucking game- he still doesn’t notice anything wrong amongst the kids, so we’re all silently texting each other to fill each other in. Pulling up receipts. But still playing the part of politely intrigued audience members. The school faculty have no fucking idea what’s going on, until one of the students texts her mom, who happens to be the woman that convinced the principal to hire this guy. We see her check her phone, go wide-eyed, and she runs out of the fucking room presumably to either find the principal or hide in terror.
So Mr. Jean had been talking to random people intermittently throughout this speech, but we reach the ‘questions’ part of it. Everyone seems to silently agree that instead of just asking him anything outright, we should just see how good of a liar he was. So they’d be asking him stuff like ‘how much money did you make with ____ company’ and he’d give a ridiculously high number as people were sending each other reports of him filing for bankruptcy during that time. Or they asked him about his construction business which he said was great, and while he was talking about how great it was we were all reading his arrest report, from when a woman hired him to build her house, and he took her money and then like…just didn’t build anything. Wild. Someone asked him about his family and he’s extolling Christian virtues while we’re all on the website for his annual Swing Fest. People would ask him how he got certain jobs and he was making promises to hook kids up in interviews and shit. Everyone was loosing their God damn minds online and just barely holding it together in person. This man was so beyond full of shit- like, he was a God awful life coach but his dedication to lying was inspirational.
We eventually get to leave and everyone is yelling and cracking up and freaking out, all running to our classes to tell the teachers and the underclassmen everything, and the teachers are freaking out, alternating between horrified confusion and laughing hysterically. Before the school day even ended, someone had called a bunch of news stations. The principal was freaking out and denying he had anything to do with it, before calling some students to his office to see what exactly the kids had searched up on the guy…Because apparently teenagers can perform better background checks than school officials. It was all anyone could talk about for weeks.
A couple months after this, for my theater class’ showcase, I wrote and directed a skit called ‘Mason B. Mean’. It was a huge hit. The principal was in the audience. I’ve never seen a grown man look so dead inside. I made sure I was out of the room before he came up to congratulate the cast and everything. The next day, my theater teacher told me his only comment about the skit was a quiet, long-suffering “Why.” 😂😂
Annnnnnnnd that’s the time a Swinger Entrepreneur rambled on about pasta sauce and money in front of teenagers who knew how to use google for almost two hours.
today i noticed that life is very short. life is so short that we must follow our dreams. that we must kiss the person we love. that we must say hello to strangers. eat that creamy chocolate bar we were craving. leave our friends and family with hugs and kisses instead of just saying goodbyes. we should look at the sky. gaze at the stars and count it too. smell the flowers, pick it and give it to your neighbours. look at our lovers face and memorize the twinkle in their eyes when they talk about their day. call our mothers. call our old friends. dance the night away till your feet give up. enjoy the little things before it’s too late. before it’s too late to enjoy life.