memorial song

Only Memories

At first scattered and seemingly meaningless
passing quickly as the wind or early morning rain
mementos of sadly sweetened serendipitous times
each neatly packed away labeled as loss or gain
the world goes on we compose our unique song
a curious mix of love laughingly dancing with pain
growing large and distant, our mountains to eternity
and we reach a day when only memories remain 

Monday 8:27am
I woke up with you on my mind.
You called me babe last night —
my heart is still pounding.

Tuesday 10:53pm
Today I realized we won’t work.
What we are is hurting her.
And I think she matters more to me than you do.

Wednesday 11:52pm
I broke things off with you today.
She barely said a word.
I’ve never regretted anything more than this.

Thursday 4:03pm
I shouldn’t have sent that message.
You shouldn’t have been so okay with receiving it.

Friday 9:57pm
I almost messaged you today.
I didn’t.

Saturday 8:49pm
I’m walking around town in search of alcohol.
They say that liquor numbs the pain of having a broken heart.
I want to put that to the test.

Sunday 2:32am
I heard you texted a girl you’ve never spoken to before.
I wonder if it’s because you’re trying to replace me.
I can’t help but wish you weren’t.
I thought I was irreplaceable.

—  a week with you on my mind, c.j.n.
Looking back, I can’t remember the truth. I blew everything out of proportion so I could feel the hurt and betrayal and write about it in vivid detail. It was my own method of torture. My own undoing; and I enjoyed every second of it.
—  c.j.n.

so patroclus is often portrayed as being kinda weak and in need of protection but i think we forget that patroclus is kind of a certified badass on his own ?? like he literally killed a kid over a dice game .. he went into battle dressed as achilles and people believed it was him .. like i’m all for protecting my soft gay son but its good to be reminded than he can and will kick your ass and i think thats beautiful