Why I shouldn’t be allowed to late-night browse the “vintage computer” tag on Etsy: 1970s InterAccess Timesharing button. I believe the depicted computer is a CDC of some stripe (based on the console design and anecdotes about InterAccess using CDC computers), but I’m not certain.
“I look around, but it’s you I can’t replace.” Angst with yoongi in it pretty please
WARNING: its very angsty, so please don’t read if you’re sensitive to these types of genres please! i care about you and i dont want you to read something that will upset you. Please do read with caution, its not awful or anything like that, just sad.
“ i see you everywhere, in the reflection of the window, in my mind. I can’t escape you, it’s like you won’t let me, but the thing is, i don’t want to” Yoongi’s voice was thick with emotion, it was like a tar substance full of guilt and tiredness.
“I can’t take back what i did, can’t take back the words i said. I can’t do anything and it kills me, everyday is like climbing a mountain with no end. Every single breath i take is like a blunt knife sliding into my lung, and every tear i shed doesn’t deserve to slide down my cheek for what i did” his breath was short, barely able to catch up with his heaving.
“I look around, but it’s you I can’t replace.”
“how am i supposed to continue on without you? It’s been a year, only a year and everyday i have suffered because i can’t let you go. I don’t want to let you go.” the picture he held was soaked in the bitter filled salty tears that escaped from his eyes.
“I can’t live without you, not anymore” His eyes averted to the red canister in the corner of the room.
“I just want to be with you, see you smile, hear your laughter and smell that perfume that you always wore. I want to see you twirl in the rain again to your favourite song, or eat a taco in bath. I miss you so fucking much.” He smiled gently at the memories circling around in his mind.
he’ll always remember the first time those three words were said, they have been branded into his mind, “i love you yoongi” from those rosy pink lips. It was the day he took her to the drive through at 3 am in the morning, the car filled with soft music and she was clad in his shirt and joggers, his cap, his everything and all he could do was watch her, watch how her cheeks tried to hold as much food as they could before they would burst.
“I love you Yoongi” she smiled, her eyes filled with such compassion and love for him. This time, he sensed it was true. He’d never felt the warmth like this crawl through his chest, or his heart beat faster as he heard those words. His blood boiled, not because of anger, but because of her. He loved her too.
But that was gone now, all he had left was memories or the polaroids that decorated his poorly decorated walls of his room. It was no longer a memorabillia, it was his inabillity to let go.
“I don’t want to be alone anymore” he flipped open the lid to his lighter, the red blaring flame staring at him.
“We’ll be together again” he wiped his tears with his forearm, breathing deeply.
ON WEDNESDAY I SAW ALL TIME LOW IN BIRMINGHAM AND I QUEUED FOR 10 HOURS AND WALKED PAST THEIR TOUR BUS 6 TIMES (((for personal reasons ok…))) AND AT THE END THEY THREW STUFF AS THEY DO BUT RIAN THREW HIS BOTTLE AT THE PEOPLE ON THE BALCONY BUT THEY DIDN’T CATCH IT AND I ENDED UP FIGHTING THIS BITCH FOR IT BUT I DIDN’T REALISE THAT BITCH WAS ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS BUT IN THE END I GOT IT GUYS I’M SO HAPPY BUT I DON’T KNOW IF I SHOULD PRESERVE IT AND HAVE MY FIRST BORN CHILD BAPTISED IN IT OR MAKE ICE LOLLIES FROM IT OR SNIFF IT OR EVERY TIME I’M ILL DRINK FROM IT OR WASH MY FACE IN IT OR JUST DRINK IT HELP SUGGESTIONS PLEASE
The night at the opera prom got me thinking of ‘The Phantom Of The Opera’. There are many similarites to PLL and I think I have figured ‘Charles’ out….
‘The Phantom Of The Opera’ is a french novel that has been adapted for film and stage. (the stories vary slightly but the essence is the same)
I will lean my comparison to the famous Andrew Loyd Webber Musical. If you can be bothered then READ WIKI HERE. But i’m going to go through the story and symbolism now:
The play starts with an auction of old props at the opera. One item is a papermache music box shaped like a monkey. The other item is a shattered chandelier, which is part of some mystery regarding a phantom who haunted the opera years before. The chandelier is lot 666 (devils numbers so obviously evil) The chandelier comes to life and rises over the audience rewinding time so the play becomes the story of the phantom.Not only does PLL have the same symbols: Papermache, music box’s and chandeliers. But finding Charles memorabillia room kinda rewinds time to the beginning to tell Charles’s story
The Phantom is rumoured to be a magician and a musical genius.We know that the magician the great Charlemagne (or Charles the great) is the writers root for the name Charles. But I suspect Charles was also a musician and I think that is who Alison was going to find that day at the concert at the gazebo.
When the resident opera singer walks out she is replaced by the beautiful Christine. Christine was secretly taught to sing by an invisible angel of music (aka the phantom) he appears to her in a mirror and guides her to his underground lair. Whilst in the phantoms lair Christine see’s a manequin that looks like her wearing a wedding dress. When it moves she faints and the phantom picks her up and puts her in bed. She awakens to the sound and sight of the monkey shaped music box. The obvious PLL connection here is to -A’s underground lair, it even has manequins in fancy dresses!
Christine takes off the phantom’s mask, underneath his face is disfigured. The phantom tells Christine he wants to look normal and want’s her love. In PLL Charles has always worn mask’s, we assumed to hide his identity, but what if it was to hide his face. Also Bethany’s drawing hinted at a facial deformity. I wonder, does he just want to be loved or does he want something else?
Meanwhile the phantom wants Christine to sing in the next opera as well, so he pulls some gruesome stunts at the opera. basically torturing the opera showrunners until he gets what he wants. I wont go into details but it is very -A type revengful antics and killings.
Christine escapes and runs to the rooftop with her childhood playmate Raoul. She tells him about the lair, he is skeptical but he loves her and vows to protect her. The phantom overhears this and is heartbroken and swears revenge on Raoul and he makes the chandelier crash to the ground. The phantom really looses it and he kinda lays low after this. Just like in PLL -A disspaeared for a while after Mona went into Radley.
6 months later, the phantom returns at a masquerade ball. He is dressed as the red death. This reminds me the woman in the red dress at the masquerade, but also reminds me of redcoat who came on the scene 5 or 6 months after -A.
He has written a play and wants Christine to be the star. (she is now engaged to Raoul) Raoul plans to use the play to capture the phantom. Christine is torn between her love for Raoul and her being thankful to the phantom for teaching her to sing. It’s like the way Alison has never told the truth about -A or what happened. It makes me think that Alison owed Charles for something. Alison was a master manipulator, maybe Charles taught her how to use people secrets against them.
Christine goes to her fathers grave for guidance. The phantom appears again as the angel of music. Christine nearly falls under his
spell, but Raoul arrives to rescue her. Christine begs
Raoul to leave with her. Furious, the phantom sets fire to the
cemetery. This reminds me of the fire at the lodge. Was Charles there and did he set that fire (not Shana) because he was mad that Alison was not loyal to him.
Anyway the play the phantom wrote opens starring Christine. On stage Christine is meant to do a duet with someone but she realizes that she is actually singing with the phantom. The phantom had strangled the other guy backstage. So Christine rips
off his mask, exposing his deformed face to the shocked audience. the phantom grabs
Christine and flees to the underground lair. In the lair Christine is forced to wear the wedding dress of the manequin. In terms of PLL I think that because the girls were about to expose Charles he had no choice but to kidnap them. He made Mona wear the yellow top to fulfil his fantasy, just like phantom made Christine wear the wedding dress.
Raoul finds the lair but when he gets there the phantom ties him up. The phantom tells Christine he will
free Raoul if she agrees to stay with him forever, if not he will kill Raoul. Christine tells the Phantom that it is his
soul that is deformed, not his face, and kisses him. This is freakishly like Mona saying “-A has a soul”. Maybe he does but my guess is that it is a deforemd soul. It’s also interesting how the phantom uses Raoul against Christine, just like -A has always done with the liars loved ones.
But the phantom, having
experienced kindness and compassion for the first time, sets them both
free. This reminded me of how the girls knew to pander to Charles and offer him the prom crown. I think this act of kindness is the reason Charles didn’t gas the girls that night like he had planned.
The phantom then curls up on his thrown and covers himself with his cape and cries. An angry mob from the opera storms his lair and when they pull back his cape he has vanished and only his mask remains.It is worth a mention that in the book the Phantom has never been kissed not even by his mother. This is wierd when you relate it to the
film in Charles room. One boy kissed his sister, the other boy just
patted her head. Maybe if Charles had been offered a kiss back then things would be different.
I now think of Charles as a deformed, unloved, discarded child who was locked away at Radley. There he developed a twisted mind with a lack of empathy. He thought he could just take everything that he wanted and fight off anyone that stood in his way. He used spite in his path to find happiness and that is sad (so for that I do feel sorry for him) Regardless of who’s brother he is or who his mother was I think I can finally understand what made him that way. Even if I don’t know the finer details.