memeahs

Office Worker!Performance Unit

Anonymous asked:

Hello, I see aus are open. you’ve done highschool and college au, how about officeworkers!svt? thanks hehe

Jun:

  • Job title: Receptionist
  • Years experience: 2
  • Salary: $17.50 per hour
  • This guy really is quite the character I’ll tell you that right now
  • Actually the last thing he wanted was an office job
  • He thought it would be really boring and he would just be sitting around all day making spreadsheets
  • But he was mindlessly browsing Craigslist one day and came across an ad for the perfect job for him
  • So now he sits around all day and talks to people on the phone!
  • Fun!!!!
  • In all seriousness though it’s actually a great job for him because they were specifically looking for someone who is bilingual
  • The company really didn’t even need another receptionist because they already hired receptionist!Seokmin who pretty much built the company’s entire reputation by himself
  • But Seokmin doesn’t know how to speak Chinese
  • Plus they were interested to see Jun’s unique style
  • And boy is it……….. unique……..
  • For starters, just know that Jun has never kept a record book of any kind in his entire life
  • He’s literally the least organized person at the office
  • Which is actually pretty sad seeing as mail clerk!Vernon walks around the office with coffee rings on his shirts
  • Jun also has a tendency to get really lazy
  • Like he finds it really tedious that he has to keep physical records of peoples’ appointments and then go log it in the computer database
  • Basically he’s a giant weenie and gets really annoyed at the slightest inconvenience
  • His favorite part of the job by far is actually talking to people
  • His strategy for that is pretty much just to relentlessly flirt with and/or compliment the client until they hang up
  • And that actually isn’t a shock to anyone since his favorite pastimes at the office include winking at people, making 18+ jokes, and eating other peoples’ snacks
  • His best friend at the office is probably payroll clerk!The8 though he’s close with all the other guys too
  • The other employees at the office seem to think he’s some weird flirt robot that only knows how to make terrible pun pickup lines
  • So the other guys are pretty much the only ones that know what he’s really like
  • Even though he never checks the group chat and it really annoys webmaster!Soonyoung because he’s sent some a1 pics of Jun mid-sneeze in there
  • He also loves tuning into the hot goss at the water cooler with human resources representative!Seungkwan
  • Even though everyone knows that Jun is lover not a fighter
  • He’d never confront anyone about anything
  • Although he does know how to fight since he likes going to the gym on his days off
  • Guys… let’s stay on task here.. resist the urge to picture Jun at the gym
  • But yeah he’s pretty much just a five-year-old wearing a tie and even though that’s really unusual for someone with an office job it’s cool because he hasn’t turned into a coffee addicted insomniac zombie yet

Hoshi:

  • Job title: Webmaster
  • Years experience: 2
  • Salary: $22 per hour
  • No one can believe he actually works at the office tbh
  • He has pretty much no useful skills other than computer programming and is about as organized as the inside of a vacuum cleaner
  • But even though he is just about the weirdest person to ever walk the face of the earth and also a giant weeb, no one can argue that he’s not brilliant
  • Except maybe him tbh he’s probably the only person that doesn’t see it
  • He actually never applied for a job at the office
  • And even if he did apply he probably wouldn’t qualify for anything
  • He majored in dance at university and started a website where he’d post videos of himself dancing
  • After college he kinda just sat around for a few months with nothing else to do but maintain the site
  • And the company contacted him because they thought his website was cool
  • He was pretty much like !!!!!!!?!!? but he accepted the job offer since he needed cash
  • So now his job is to build and run websites for the company
  • He started out just working from home but then he signed a more long term contract so now he works in the office building with all his equally memey friends awww :’)
  • Some of his best friends include receptionist!Seokmin and secretary!Joshua
  • And unlike most of the other employees at the office, Soonyoung doesn’t really have to spend all day in front of his computer because as long as the websites are running smoothly he’s pretty much good to go
  • So this means he has ample free time to prank literally everyone :-)
  • This guy is literally a prankster’s prankster though like he’s pulled just about every prank in the book
  • His favorite is probably the classic bubble wrap around the office supplies
  • But when he does that he goes all out like he once bubble wrapped everything on human resources representative!Seungkwan’s desk
  • Even the pencils
  • Like ??????????
  • He also loves taking candids of the other guys and sending them in the group chat with no context
  • And that might explain why he and Seungkwan are currently locked in a weird meme battle in the group chat
  • But I mean what about Soonyoung isn’t just slightly weird
  • We’re talking about the guy who dances in the elevator with his earbuds in and the music so loud that he doesn’t even notice when the boss walks in on him
  • At least he’s smart
  • And cute
  • …….moving on……..
  • For some unfathomable reason Soonyoung is also on the planning committee for the company holiday parties
  • Christmas, New Year’s, Halloween, Valentine’s Day, etc.
  • I have no idea why they would trust him with that but yeah that’s something he does
  • But to be fair, the committee is only made up of like 4 people and Soonyoung is pretty much the only one that remembers to show up to the meetings
  • He’s also in the process of pushing for an April Fool’s Day party but knowing him it won’t even be a party it’ll just be an excuse for him to hang pictures of memes around the office and rickroll Seokmin
  • Baby Hosh Hosh is just too happy for his own good and he needs to be protected at all costs

The8:

  • Job title: Payroll Clerk
  • Years experience: ½
  • Salary: $20 per hour
  • This poor baby ok here we go
  • You probably already knew this but I’ll say it again: THIS BOY IS A CINNAMON ROLL, TOO GOOD FOR THIS WORLD, TOO PURE
  • There’s always that one person at the office whose name no one else ever remembers
  • Unfortunately it’s Minggo :/
  • He’s just so nice and quiet and cares so much about everyone else even if they don’t know who he is
  • He chose to go into payroll even though it’s clearly the most boring department so he could make sure everyone gets their fair pay
  • I’m telling you this kid is the definition of nice
  • But when he’s around his friends at the office he does actually have the capacity to roast all of them
  • He closest to receptionist!Junhui but he does have other friends and he’s in the squad group chat
  • The group chat in itself was probably a huge mistake tbh what goes on in there is pure chaos
  • Graphic designer!Mingyu started this thing where every time he sees Minghao around the office he immediately tries to freestyle rap battle him
  • But one day Minghao started rapping back
  • So now if the other employees even know Minghao at all they know him as that new kid that always rap battles the other new kid
  • What a legacy :’)
  • Minghao also likes dancing as a hobby so he was able to bond a lot with webmaster!Soonyoung over that and he was pretty much the one that introduced Minghao to the other guys
  • Even though now Jun and Minghao are pretty much inseparable
  • And they’re constantly laughing some about weird inside jokes they have in Chinese and everyone else is like “what happened to the quiet new kid”
  • Also did I mention that Minghao always dresses abnormally well for work?
  • No?
  • Ok well that’s a thing
  • People in payroll and mail can usually get away with just wearing polo shirts and khakis
  • But Minghao goes all out every day
  • Button-ups, funky patterned ties, oxfords, and suit pants that are probably a little too tight on him
  • But it’s not like anyone minds haha………. I wouldn’t..
  • Also his hair always looks great
  • He actually would just look great all the time though so don’t question me on this ok
  • And he’s that guy that either smiles at or greets everyone he walks past
  • Like even if he’s in the worst mood no one would be able to tell because he always walks around smiling to himself and humming without a care in the world
  • And he shares his food with other people too
  • But even if they don’t ask and just take it @Jun he’s fine with it
  • Unless the person is Mingyu then he would probably fight him
  • But like aside from beef that he has with some people as joke, literally everyone likes him
  • I mean how could you not though???
  • He’s so soft and unproblematic?????????

Dino:

  • Job title: Intern
  • Years experience: 1/12
  • Salary: N/A
  • Every office needs an unpaid intern that automatically becomes the butt of every joke
  • And Chan’s arguably the best butt for the job!!
  • .. ok that sounded weirder than i meant it to yikes
  • He’s still in college so he took up the internship to get credits
  • But in addition to that, he also got a rowdy new group of friends that literally can’t let him do anything without turning it into some kind of meme
  • Ah friendship :’)
  • Like that’s not even exaggerating one time webmaster!Soonyoung sent a candid of Chan drinking water in the group chat and from then on every time the guys saw him they always asked “how thirsty are you today?”
  • Not to mention that whole “whose baby are you” thing
  • One time events planner!Jeonghan actually asked him that in front of the boss
  • And that was just one of many times Chan found himself thanking every deity of every religion that he’s not actually working there
  • But he does have a job to accomplish and he is interning at that specific company for a reason
  • He’s majoring in computer engineering so he mostly just hangs around webmaster!Soonyoung and computer repair specialist!Seungcheol
  • He looks up to them a lot and he wants to be like them in the future but in all honesty their jobs seem really high stress to him
  • He kinda doesn’t know if he can handle it
  • That in combination with the fact that some of the older women who work in the office like to pinch his cheeks in the break room just really scares him tbh
  • Actually the correct answer to “whose baby are you” is: literally everyone’s
  • Pretty much every single person at the office calls him their grandson
  • Besides getting emotionally attacked, the main other thing Chan does is help Seungcheol out with maintenance work
  • Every time some old guy’s monitor goes to sleep or a middle aged mom can’t figure out how to do something, Seungcheol is the guy that gets called
  • And by extension, Chan!!!!
  • Because they’re the dream team now
  • The company’s got some pretty state of the art technology so nothing major ever really goes wrong
  • So that basically just means that most of Chan’s work pretty much just involves turning the computer off then on again
  • Pretty riveting stuff tbh
  • But then the real fun starts when the person who called asked why the problem happened and Seungcheol pretends to get another call so Chan has to explain everything
  • Even though he pretty much gets bullied at the office and his supervisor is a complete weirdo, he loves it there and he loves the guys
  • And I love him…….
  • Ok never mind bye

-Written by Admin Cali