Send a ship? Merlahad, of course. <3
Comes home drunk
Bit of a toss up. Neither one is quick to get drunk in public because of the nature of their work. Sure, they’ll have a couple to get the edge off, but not to the point of real impairment. They do, however, drink in the comfort of home, where Harry is the one far more likely to get arse over teakettle on a far more regular basis.
Tops in bed
80% of the time, Merlin, not to say Harry doesn’t get a bit..uppity and top from the bottom some of the time. Neither mind switching, depending on the mood they’re both in, or sometimes switching those roles in a bit more rigid matter, when either feels the need to have control of anything, in his life, or Merlin needs control taken away.
Does the laundry
Neither. They have a service and much of what they wear requires dry cleaning anyway, but Merlin is the one that knows how to actually work the washer and dryer should the need to do it themselves arise.
Cleans the mess
Again, they have a service for general housekeeping, but for the light things Harry does most of the cleaning. Merlin does his fair share of the dishes after supper and whatnot, but has no real desire to dust or vacuum.
Leaves a mess
…Merlin, but it’s a localized orderly mess contained in his office, thank you very much, and no don’t touch that, I know it’s right in the middle of the floor, but I’ll never find it again if you move it. Stop moving things. This is my chaos spiral, not yours.
Throws food at the other
Who would do something so juvenile– Harry. It’s Harry. They both like to needle each other into exasperation, but Harry is the one that gets annoyed first and throws a bread crust, or whatever else is at hand.
Spins around in the squeaky chair
Also, Harry, though not so much in his dignified older years. But in his twenties trying to goad Merlin into paying attention (fuck him, what Harry wants is Merlin to fuck him, energetically if you please) to him? Absolutely.
Gets jealous easiest
Harry. Their relationship is still technically an open one, considering Harry’s preference for honeypot missions. Merlin is able to watch, and even direct Harry on said missions without becoming overly jealous, though that doesn’t stop him from staking his claim once Harry returns home.
However, Merlin so rarely flirts with anyone, that the sight of it tends to throw Harry for a bit of a loop, though he won’t admit it under pain of death.
Cuddles the other
Merlin actually. As they’ve gotten older, and had so many close calls in between, Merlin’s become a bit freer with his affections. If they’re alone, he doesn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around Harry, kiss his temple, or even just stretch out on the sofa with the other man.
Feeds the pets
Harry. The dog is technically his, and therefore his to care for. (Not that Merlin would let the poor bugger starve, but having the animal to care for in a post- V-day setting, was actually part of Harry’s therapy, and Merlin isn’t going to get in the way of that if he can help it.)
Cooks the meals
90% of the time, Harry. He’s the better cook between them, and beyond that enjoys cooking. Merlin knows enough to never starve, but his offerings are far from the near gourmet meals Harry comes up with.
Spends the longest time getting ready
Is this even a question for the two of them? I give you the obvious answer. H-A-R-R-Y.
And who spends the most money
Debatable, but erring on the side of Harry. Merlin is frugal when it comes to day to day things, but doesn’t hesitate drop coin on a piece of tech that’s caught his eye, or on gifts for Harry. Harry could (and does, don’t let him tell you different) spend a fortune on cheese alone, let alone anything else. Neither one tends to monitor their spending too closely, however. They can afford to live how they like.