yall wanna hear a gay story? it’s a good one.

ok so i went to my fave cupcake place bc i had points for two free cupcakes. hell yeah. so i get there and this CUTE AF woman comes out from the back and im SHOOK. so i play it cool and give her my order and she rings it up. i tell her my number (bc there are no membership cards, you just tell them ur phone number and voila). but the register wasn’t working properly so i had to keep repeating my number nbd but she was getting SO flustered it was ADORABLE. the final time i told her my number i added “and now that you have my number you should text me”

she texted me 5min ago.

smooth. as. hell.

odd jobs

After years of struggling to make it as an actress in LA, I tore a phone number off of a community board flyer. The slip said “don’t call us, we’ll call you” and as soon as it was in my hand, my cellphone started ringing. I was invited to a white warehouse on the east side of the dusty Los Angeles river, where a skinny man in a faded beret told me that I was perfect. Walking home that night, I found a membership card for the Dream Actors Guild in my purse. Now every night from 10 PM until sunrise (and sometimes in the middle of the day for particularly long naps), I slip into your dreams and I am a pale shadow monster, I am your fourth grade teacher, I am your sense of falling, I am your lover’s whisper and how it tastes like heartbreak. The pay isn’t great - but it beats waiting tables.

also as a #lifetip if you’re concerned about helping retail employees like i am, make sure to not sign up for store memberships or cards or anything online if it says somewhere that you can do it in the store. you can ask an employee and they can do it with you - it doesn’t bother them, they usually get some compensation for ‘convincing’ you to sign up. so if you want a store membership, you can benefit an employee as well as yourself by doing it in-store vs online.


The Dead Robin Club 2016: Stephanie Brown, Jason Todd, Damian Wayne

Artist: JBadgr


I drew this one last year, so why not do one for 2016? Grumpy teen!angst Dami is still grumpy as fuq. Hope you all enjoy! <33 Jess

Eh- eh– and none of this ‘technically derp derp didn’t die cuz canonical backtrack bullshit. They’re the dead robins club.Founding members. Membership card. Discount at local paper supply stores. 10% off gas. Member members.

i love when i go to costco and pull up with my cart and flash that membership card like i’m entering a club or an fbi building or something

Protest checklist

You want to go out to protest!  Excellent, protesting is a time-honored American pastime.  Next to punching Nazis, there’s nothing more American than making your voice heard.  These days however you can’t be too careful, so when you head out make sure you’ve got some things covered.  Have:

  • Protest buddy/buddies
  • Photo ID
  • Transportation payment if necessary
  • Small amount of cash
  • Spare rechargeable battery
  • A dose or two of your meds and/or a few first aid items
  • A bottle of water (to stay hydrated, and also to wash pepper spray off faces)
  • Pack of travel tissues
  • List of phone numbers to call (ACLU membership card has a list of numbers on the back, including their main number) and a contact number written on yourself in permanent marker
  • Wear weather-appropriate clothes and shoes and dress in layers
  • Snacks like protein bars

Pack light.  You’ll be on your feet for hours.  If you want to be extra prepared, try adding:

  • Feminine hygiene products (tampons are excellent for nosebleeds, for example, and spare products are always useful)
  • Gloves in case of pepper spray
  • If you wear contacts, a case and your glasses
  • A small notebook and pen
  • Heavier medical supplies like tape and bandages, antiseptic

Dress simply and plainly.  Notify trusted friends and family of your plans, and set a check-in time.  Do not go alone; check Facebook or Twitter for organizers.  If you get close and don’t see people already there, hang back and observe.  Bring signage if you like.  Document what you see.  Do not name names or post pictures of people without their permission.

There are reasons not to protest.  Government employment, abledness, and citizenship status are some things to consider when deciding to peacefully demonstrate.  But if you do go out, stay vigilant, be prepared.

As always, resist.

Reblogs and additions welcome.

[Smutfest] Blue Doll - 06 Lingerie

[Ch01-05 can be read here on AO3]


Vegeta stared at the red membership card that gave him direct and exclusive access to Bulma’s room at the brothel.

It was the most expensive thing he had ever bought.

Especially considering he wasn’t using it.

He hadn’t visited her since buying her rights, which also meant he hadn’t slept well in days. His katas, normally an assured way of grounding his thoughts, did little to settle his mind. It didn’t matter how much he sweated or pushed himself, it wasn’t enough. Something uneasy rattled within him. Like a pebble in his shoe that he couldn’t dislodge, the annoyance grew. It consumed him, infuriating him incessantly, plaguing him day and night.

[Read the rest under the break, or here on Archive of Our Own]

Keep reading

etakyma replied to your photoset “I am staying with a friend who has cats, and this morning’s visit from…”

You… Have a digital Lab? ooooooo… How?

My mum has a membership to Jacquie Lawson Cards, which is a digital greeting card website that specializes in sending musical/animated and interactive cards. She sends me about a dozen a year, and they’re cute little cards where occasionally you get a bonus, like a program you can download or some PDF coloring pages. One of the regular characters in the cards is a little dog named Chudleigh, and one of the cards she sent me offered a “Download Chudleigh!” option, which I IMMEDIATELY clicked on. 

Anyway, it’s a little program where a tiny animated Chudleigh runs around your desktop – he sleeps, fetches slippers, etc. It’s a single EXE file that doesn’t need installing, so I put him on my work computer. He has been with me through two changes of jobs, four different computers, and now the laptop my work got me so I can take him with me to meetings. :D 

It’s especially funny when someone else is looking at my screen at work and suddenly a random dog runs across it. About half the people it happens to, they initially think they are hallucinating. 

I work at a certain well-known bookstore chain, and it’s usually pretty good, but of course it’s return season. And we usually have a 14-day with receipt/membership/original payment card, but it was extended to 30 days for the holidays. Why do we have such a small one? So you don’t treat us like a fucking library. So we get people who bring a gift book that was purchased at like the beginning of November and get pissy they can’t return it. Or they only have a gift receipt and don’t understand why they can’t only get store credit. Or, best yet, they have literally nothing to prove the book was purchased at one of our stores. Like… If it was a gift to you, you spent no money on it, so you’re not really losing out. I’m sorry if the person who go it for you didn’t think to get a gift receipt but that’s not our fault. We’re not the only store that sells books, we can just give you money without proof that it was purchased from us (or, you know, not stollen). The fact that people don’t understand how this shit works just baffles me. “Well other stores can do it!” Cool shit, but we’re not them and we’re not obligated to uphold other store’s policies.

anonymous asked:

At my job, we have these coupon things called instant savings. They're loaded automatically on everyone's membership card. Unfortunately for me, they don't come off until I hit total. Not only that, but it doesn't show on the card reader screen either; it just shows the total go down. I'm so damn tired of members arguing with me that they were charged the wrong price. I'm sick of saying "instant savings come off when I hit total and will show on your receipt" 😩 It's always older people too.

To all my lovely fats

To you who are pressured to lose weight as a new year’s resolution.
To you who get gym membership cards as christmas presents for “encouragement”.
To you who feel distressed by new year’s campaigns shoving diet pills and meal replacement programs down your throat.
To you who are forced to live through a month of diet frenzy due to your family member’s new year’s resolution.

You are valid with or without weight loss.
You are beautiful and worth the world. 
I hope you have a wonderful 2k16 💜