melts cars

regional differences

“oh hey,” she said, “it’s a really touristy area, but since you’re gonna be passing through anyway, you might as well stop by pier 29, see the dragons. also, there’s a—”

“hold on,” i said. “i knew your city had mountains, but. dragons? uh, actual living dragons?”

“dude, it’s not a big deal. they’re there all the time. of course they’re majestic and everything, but they’re loud and cranky and mostly they lie around eating garbage. now and then the city council will talk about trying to make them roost somewhere else, but—”

“dragons,” i repeated. i knew it was making me sound like a rube, but it was a lot to take in. “you live in a city that has dragons.”

“no, it’s cool, we used to go see them when i was a little kid. it’s worth doing. but that whole area is mostly dragon-themed gift shops, and the commercialization is kind of a bummer. also, sometimes a dragon will melt somebody’s car and it’s a whole problem.”

"fairytale-style, giant scaly fire-breathing dragons.”

“honestly, i forget other cities don’t have them?” she said. "there’s a few other sites on the west coast where they gather. portland calls them wyverns, but that’s a portland thing.”

"chicago’s got, like, bunnies and songbirds,” i told her, “but otherwise it’s just your typical vermin. pigeons, rats, sphinxes—”

“sphinxes? what the hell.

“oh, yeah, they nest in the el tunnels. sometimes a fucking sphinx will flap down out of nowhere, bring the whole train to a halt until the front car answers a riddle.”

“that sounds exciting,” she said.

“it’s the worst. your train winds up being twenty minutes late, and you just have to hang out hoping somebody up there read their mythology. there’s supposed to be a program where the conductors get trained in riddling, but i don’t know. rahm emmanuel keeps saying it’s not a budget priority.”

“huh,” she said. “guess the grass is always greener and all that. but on some level, it’s nice to remember that even with all these big box stores, the country still has some variety left in it.”

“yeah, did you know that in rhode island they call water fountains ‘bubblers’?” i said.

“whoa, seriously?”

“i read it somewhere. crazy, right?”

“crazy.”

10

You’ve been doing well, and you’re enduring. You will be going forward. Plus you have me.

Driving Headcanons

McCree

  • Forgets to wear his seatbelt.
  • His car is disgusting. There’s an old melted lollipop in the car door slot. 
  • Needs to get his oil changed. Won’t get his oil changed. 
  • Breaks hard.

Symmetra

  • Knows all the rules of the road and won’t let you forget them.
  • Her glove box is so neat. You need a tissue? She’s got it. Need a mint? She’s got it. Need a road map of the entire USA for some reason? She’s got it.
  • When not driving, she’s a backseat driver. 
  • “Why don’t you stop and ask for directions?”

Soldier 76

  • Decides he’s in the wrong lane at the last minute.
  • Always fucks up the flow of the merge.
  • His blinker has been on for the last three minutes.
  • When not driving, he’s holding onto the roof handle.

D.Va

  • Always riding on empty. 
  • Cant read a map for shit. 
  • Her dashboard is full of cute things. Her car smells nice.
  • Excellent at parallel parking. Like wow.

Lucio

  • Hand him the aux cord. He’s got the best mixes for everything from ‘RoadTrip!!’ to ‘Going to get milk at 3 in the morning’
  • Drinks and eats while driving.
  • His car is covered in stickers.
  • Can’t drive stick. 

(Requests are Open!!!)

l0rnhub  asked:

Hey! ^^ Can I request the RFA+V+Saeran's reactions to reuniting w/ MC at the airport after being away for a month? Thank you~

A/N: Of course you can, I’d be honoured!! ^^ *get a grip 404, stop fangirling* I mean yeah, psh, you totally can. No big deal. Not at all *smOOTH* ~Admin 404

A/N: Listen,,, that’s a cute prompt but das not a surprise coming from u (also i got some very obvious inspiration from How I Met Your Mother for some of these…)~ Admin 626

Yoosung, Jumin, Saeyoung, and Saeran done by Admin 404!

Jaehee, Zen, and V done by Admin 626!


*YOOSUNG:

-Literally BOUNCING

-Up down up down up dOWN

-IS HIS MC HERE YET??? DID THEIR PLANE LAND????

-ARE THEY SAFE?!?!?!?!???!

-He has one of those teddy bears that holds a heart, and like, 7 star shaped balloons

-Do you need all this? No. Does he care? Also no.

-The moment he sees you, he squeals so loud, everyone around him is staring

-R U N S to you, pulling you into a hug

-Makes you drop your luggage and instantly feels bad, and offers to carry it for you

-He’ll hand you his gifts and pull you into another hug

-He doesn’t want to let go, you’ve been gone sO LONG

-Insists on holding your hand and cuddling you close for the rest of the day, he wants to make up for lost cuddle time!

-Begs you to tell him every story and every detail you have about your time away from him

-It doesn’t matter if you called him everyday and texted him as much as possible!!!

-HE WANTS TO KKNNOOWW!

-Show him any and all pictures you’ve taken, he wants to see!!

-Is in awe of everything you saw and did

-”MC, can we take a trip together some time? I think it’ll be really fun!!”

-Totally not because he missed you

-He’ll make you dinner while you shower and unwind from the plane ride

-HEART SHAPED FOOD BECAUSE HE NEEDS YOU TO KNOW HE LOVES YOU

-PLEASE DON’T LEAVE HIM AGAIN


*JUMIN:

-He’s gone on business trips quite a few times since you’ve been gone

-Business trips means places that aren’t home, and places that aren’t home mean different types of things to buy

-Different types of things to buy means aLL OF THE PRESENTS!

-All of the presents means; kidding I’m gonna just leave that there you’re WELCOME

-He’ll have Driver Kim pick you up from the airport, and will wait for you in the living room of your shared penthouse

-As soon as you open the door, you call for him with no response

-Although, Elizabeth the Third meets you at the door Thanks Elly at least you’re excited to see me

-You leave your luggage at the door so you can carry Elizabeth to the living room, where you see Jumin standing the the center of the room

-Or, should I say, the cenTER OF A MASSIVE PILE OF STUFF??

-”Welcome home, Kitten. I take that your trip went well? I missed you dearly. I picked you up a few things because I was thinking of you.”

-A FEW things??????

-”Jumin! You didn’t have to do that! Relaxing with you when I got back would have been enough for me!”

-?????

-Confused Jumin

-He just wanted you to know that he saw these things and thought of you but you didn’t even really want it???

-You just wanted to spend time with him??

-That can be arranged

-He has a few of his body guards move all of the things he bought for you into another room and sat on the couch, pulling you onto his lap

-Gently runs his hand through your hair as you tell him all the sights you saw, foods you tasted, how the whole experience felt

-He smiles because he’s glad you had such a great time, but…

-There’s no way you’re leaving him for a month ever again, he couldn’t get you off of his mind

-Accompanies you on trips from now on


*SAEYOUNG:

-HIS MC IS FINALLY COMING BACK

-HE’S SO HYPED!!!

-HE WAS SO LONELY! SAERAN DIDN’T WANT TO DO ALL THE FUN THINGS YOU LIKED TO DO WITH HIM!

-Of course, you always sent him selfies, called every day, and texted nonstop

-He totally didn’t hack into every CCTV he could just to see you, haha, what are you talking about

-The bed felt extremely lonely without you in it with him

-Actually refused to sleep in the bed without you after the first few days you were gone

-He even went out and bought a cake to celebrate your homecoming!!

-Picks you up at the airport in one of his babies

-Yes, he actually left the house to get you, he’s just that excited

-Leaves the cake in the car because he doesn’t want to drop it

-Like Yoosung, R U N S up to you as SOON as you get out of your gate

-Picks you up and spins you around before pulling you close enough to give you a proper hug

-He’ll kiss the top of your head before pulling away to look over you

-He may have every inch of you memorized, but you were gone for a month, he wants to take note if anything changed

-Grabs your hand and your luggage, tugging you to his baby in a haste to show you the cake he picked out!

-It was an ice cream cake

-It’s now melted in the car

-RIP SAEYOUNG AND RIP HIS BABIES SEATS

-It goes faster when you help him clean, and he pouts the whole drive home

-You’re the one who has to drag him to bed and cuddle him close so he stops pouting

-He quickly gets over it and kisses every inch of your face, making you giggle

-He finally had a good night’s sleep that he hasn’t had in the month you were gone, he’s so content


*SAERAN:

-Why would you leave this boy for a month

-You left him….with Saeyoung…for a moNTH

-To say he’s salty is an UNDERSTATEMENT

-He’s got such conflicting feelings, because he really missed you, but he’s also annoyed that you left him with his brother

-Saeyoung kept trying to get him to do ridiculous “bonding” activities, so he would immediately call you and say he was too busy to participate

-Had you call him more often than you would text him, he felt calmer when he heard your voice

-Freaked out a lot of the time you were gone because he wasn’t there to keep you safe!!

-He’d pick you up at the airport, and if you’re lucky, he’ll give you a quick (but loving) hug

-You’re in public, he’s not about to make a fool of himself like his brother would

-He’ll bring you to his favourite ice cream place and let you order whatever you want, then take you home

-That’s enough crowds for me today, thanks MC

-He’ll quietly listen and watch as your face lights up in delight as you relive your trip through the stories and pictures you tell/show him

-Forgets that he was ever upset with you leaving, and smiles softly at the fire he can see in your eyes

-He can tell that you really enjoyed yourself, but a selfish part of him hopes that you missed him as much as he missed you

-After your stories and you’ve gotten a chance to shower, change, and just unwind overall, he’ll put on a movie and cuddle on the couch, pulling you to his chest

-A huge, fluffy blanket is literally ENGULFING the both of you

-Nice warm little burritos

-He’ll kiss the back of your head and whisper against your hair that he missed you, and you can feel your heart swelling in your chest and a pang of guilt when you hear the defeated tone of his voice

-PLEASE TELL THIS BOY YOU MISSED HIM TOO, PLEASE, HE NEEDS THIS

-Lays his cheek on the top of your head and closes his eyes, listening to the movie in the far background and tries to focus on the fact that you’re home, with him, safe

-Please don’t leave me alone with Saeyoung again, MC. He won’t survive

-”MC, next time you go somewhere, you have to take me. No, there’s no “ifs”, “ands”, or “buts” about it.”


*ZEN

- This unicorn boy cannot function without you

- All he does is lament in the group chat about how empty his soul is???

- Saeyoungkickshimoutofthegroupchatafewtimes

- then hIS ASS JUST TEXTS EVERYONE SEPARATELY ABOUT HOW HE IS NOTHING WITHOUT YOU

- zenhaveyouhaveheardoffacetime

- So when you first get off from the plane, you don’t see him anywhere and that’s a huge surprise???

- You sit down because you’re a little disappointed, you were really looking forward to see him after being away for so long!

- You’resodisappointedyouactuallytearup

- You hear an instrument playing but you think nothing of it

- But then more instruments join in???

- You look up and there’s a crowd of people instruments around you?!

- ZEN WALKS IN WITH A SIGN THAT SAYS YOUR NAME?

-YOUDRAMATICLITTLEHOE

- HE EVEN HAS GOLDFISH BREAD WITH HIM

- YOU’RE UGLY CRYING HE’S SO SWEET

- YOU PRETTY MUCH RUN INTO HIS ARMS AND KISS HIM

- He doesn’t let go of you the entire way home!!!

- When ur home, he’s made your favorite dinner???

- And may I add, a candle lit dinner!

- He whisks you off for a cute bath together because you’re probably exhausted after all that travelling!

- Afterwards, you two cuddle on the couch and watch his movies

- “I want you to get as much of me as you can”

- okayzennyboyi’msureithasnothingtodowithyoulovingtowatchyourself

- newheadcanon:zenisanexhibitionist

- listen,,, u may think this night ends with some frickle frackle bUT U ARE WRONG MY FRIEND

- He just wants to cuddle with you in bed and shower you in kisses!!!

lowkeywantstobethelittlespooncauseheneverwantstoforgetyourwarmth


*JAEHEE

- usually she’s the one away on business trips, and of course she misses you on those trips but that can’t compare to now

- the house is so empty without your laughs???

- she dRESSES A BODY PILLOW UP LIKE YOU TO CUDDLE WITH AT NIGHT???

- the RFA has to confiscate it from her because she started bringing it into work

- holy shit this girl misses you

- When this girl sees you get off that plane, she runs to you and embraces you as tightly as she can

- “Wow did you lose your composure while I was gone?”

- “Screw composure, I missed you MC”

- When you guys get home, lots and lots of cuddles!!!

- youregladthebodypillowisntthere

- there’s tons of your favorite baked goods

- she pulls out matching onesies (I think we know where this is going)

- shehassomelingerietoobutthatsforlater

- SELFIE TIME COMMENCE

- this girl cannot get enough of your face and the RFA group is sick of being sent dumb photos of the two of you!!! Theyhateyoucausetheyaintyou

-JuminalmostcallsherintoworkjUSTSOYOU’LLSTOP

- you two spend the rest of the night watching Zen and Disney movies but you’re not even actually watching them, you’re telling her all about your trip!

- She never wants you to stop talking, oh my god you’re beautiful


*V

- Oh my gosh this poor precious bean has no idea what to do without you???

- Most of his days would revolve around you?

- You’re in college so he helped you out as much as he could because he wanted you to succeed and not have to worry about little things!!!

- Clothes? Always washed and folded when you got home

- Food? He always has something prepared for you when you get home

- You’re having a rough day? He’ll run a hot bath for you and give you a massage after (listenthisboyisacutehousespouseokayfIGHTME)

- When he goes out for photography shoots, you’d always be his model??

- this giraffe is your #1 supporter and can’t get enough of you

- While you’re gone, his project is making a collage of your best pictures!

- hasadifficulttimebecauseallyourpicturesareyourbestpictures

- when you get off that plane, V is calmly holding a super cute sign with your name that Zen he made!

- he doesn’t run up to you, he doesn’t make a big entrance, that’s not V’s style but when you reach him, he hugs you so tight you almost can’t breathe

- On the way home, he decides to take a detour to his art exhibit because he just wants to check out some new photographs that were put up(y’all know where this is going)

- when you go in, it’s all pictures of you (thisistotallynotliketheExtragumcommercial)

- AND UNDER EACH PHOTO HE WROTE WHAT YOU DID THAT MADE THAT DAY SO SPECIAL???

- SO MUCH UGLY CRYING V YOU’RE SUCH A SWEETHEART

- “I wanted to sum up how I felt about you but I realized that’s impossible. I love you MC.”

4

Join Kalani Robb as he tests out the sustainable MINI Countryman Plug-In Hybrid and the all-new MINI ECO-HYBRID - a surfboard from Channel Islands Surfboards focused on reducing environmental impact without compromising on performance.

Absolutely Anything

Summary: Y/N Stark lost her leg in a car accident as a teen. Her boyfriend, Bucky Barnes, helps her dad design a new prosthetic. To celebrate, they head to the beach, where some of Y/N’s insecurities resurface. Bucky decides to help Y/N beat her self-doubt by facing some of his own fears.

Characters: Bucky Barnes, Tony Stark, Reader

Warnings: mentions of a car accident, insecurities, an insane amount of teeth-rotting fluff

Word count: 2063

A/N: Thank you so much for the prompt @fuckkoffcourtney !!! I hope I did it justice!

One Shot Masterlist


Bucky carefully guided you down the steps to your father’s lab with his hands covering your eyes. His heart was pounding in anticipation with each tap of your shoes on the metal staircase. When you both finally reached the bottom, Tony Stark was waiting bouncing with excitement.

“Okay, doll, open your eyes,” Bucky said, excitement filling his voice.

“Um, Bucky? You kinda need to take your hands off my face first,” you replied, cheekily.

“Oh, right!” Bucky fumbled. He removed his shaky hands and you found yourself staring at a metal leg.

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anonymous asked:

a woman came in wanting a refund for chocolate because it melted in her car. I live in texas

There is no refund for stupid, ma’am. -Abby

ENTJ Gothic
  • You laugh. Everyone else stops laughing. Someone’s hand shakes, and a wine glass shatters.
  • “I’m such a realistic person,” your Te assesses. Your Ni nods affirmatively, and goes back to making weird shit up.
  • You’ve been elected student council president. They won’t let you streamline the class period system or fire any of the teachers. You silently curse Kill la Kill for giving you unrealistic expectations.
  • “You’re so unfriendly and you hate parties. How are you an extrovert? You must be an INTJ,”  your friend says. She’s right; ENTJs are just INTJs on meth.
  • Why do all of your friends think that processing means hugs and validation? You just want advice. Your therapist won’t even give you advice without “listening empathetically” first. Why are your parents paying $80 an hour for this?
  • You’ve been elected student council president again. “Do I have to do this?” you mutter. You don’t remember running this year. “You’re an ENTJ; you want to, right?” the principal says. You don’t want to; you won’t able to make any real changes in policy. You’re just a symbol. The principal tells you it will look good on your college application and offers you a cookie.
  • You decide not to major in poly-sci.
  • You are officially an adult. You have been ready for this moment since preschool. Your friends say they still don’t feel like adults, which sounds terrifying and is probably the reason they are still dependent upon your friendship.
  • “Time management! Attention! Priorities!” you snarl for the fourth time this morning. Your coworkers spend the next hour brainstorming ways to get you fired.
  • “You’re an ENTJ? Can you help me make a five-year plan?” they ask. “Of course,” you reply. You give them control of your crumbing ponzi scheme, and they spend the next five years in jail.
  • Everything is closed on Sunday. Don’t they realize you have things to do before the week starts? You drive and drive and drive, looking for a city that never sleeps. The sky darkens; your car melts into the pavement. You are the city. You never sleep.
  • Someone thinks you’d be a power bottom. At least you aren’t a needy top like all five of your ENFJ friends. You delete three of them from your contacts while you’re thinking of it.
  • Your job involves expensive suits, firing people, creepy motivational posters on the walls of your office, and a formal title that your friends and family don’t understand. They ask what you do at work. “Extroverted thinking,” you tell them, and they nod politely and ask, “But what does your company make?” “Money,” you say. “But how do you earn the money?” “Introverted intuition,” you tell them. They nod again. It’s a very ambiguous function.
  • Your ISTJ coworker pipes in. “We trade stocks.” This is technically insider trading because Ni is psychic, but no one says anything.
  • You care about someone; this is not part of the plan. You race around doing errands in your black Camaro, swearing profusely at people who drive the speed limit.
  • It’s time to make some major life changes. Everything is boring and the days are starting to blur together. You engage your Se.
  • We don’t talk about what happens next.
  • The scientists have discovered a way to see inside your brain. They find out it’s just a game of Tetris. “Perhaps we can program the perfect leader somehow,” one of them says. You slide an I-block into place and exhale, contented. The brain scans turn blue.
  • You move to the coast, work in a little coffee shop and play your saxophone in a pub band by night. You date ISFPs who read you their poetry. No one is afraid of you anymore. You are peaceful and connected. Your therapist said this would make you happy.
  • You still cannot sleep.

maggiemerc: OKAY WHO IS GOING TO WRITE THE FIC WHERE KARA ISN’T KNOCKED OFF COURSE AND RAISES HER COUSIN AND MEETS A YOUNG CAT AND THEY ARE BESTIES AND MAYBE TOUCH EACH OTHER’S BUTTS A LITTLE AND ALSO KARA HAS SUPERPOWERS AND IS BASICALLY A TEEN MOM BECAUSE YOU KNOW BABY CLARK.

omg. Just omg. i haven’t watched the most recent episode yet, but i’ve seen .gif sets and i’m so thrilled. I saw this, and I just…omg. here! quick little jotted story. no spell check. 8) it was just to wonderful an idea to pass up.


You wake up with crumbling worlds behind your eyelids. The red dust of Krypton caught in your eyelashes, the dry air clambering like tumbling stones in your lungs. You have no words in this language, or any other, to describe how exactly a planet sounds when it dies. The groan of shifting plates, and brittle atmospheres—how it shivers beneath your feet, how it whines and whimpers. Living in all the same ways as the people who will share its grave; left in the empty of space, forgotten, adrift. You carry an apology in your chest, a silent unspoken I’m sorry that has somehow stitched itself into your spine, into your heart; into the strongest parts of you, because whenever you wonder where you came from, why you’re here, you think of that apology. Of what you had promised a dying world.

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Bowling - Evgeni Malkin

Requested by anon: Could you do an Evgeni Malkin one where he meets your kid for the first time. Like the kids from a past relationship?? Thank you!!

A/N: I hope you like it!

Word count: 1067

Warnings: I think none.

Master List

Originally posted by ehghtyseven

“Aiden, please. Come here.” You chuckle, looking at your six-year-old running around with his pants on his head. “Come on, he is going to be here anytime now.”

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