A very popular Tumblr post asserts that white people can be controlled with cheese. In Steve's case, it's New York-style cheeseCAKE.
Steve should have known this would happen.
All he did was answer a simple question from a seven-year-old with big, brown eyes and curly hair.
“What’s your most favorite food?”
“Cheesecake,” Steve offered easily.
Her eyes grew impossibly larger on her face. “Really? My mommy told me it was broccoli.”
“Uh-” Steve stuttered, imagining hoards of angry parents swarming Avengers tower. “I love broccoli! I eat it whenever I can, but I’d do anything for a big slice of New York cheesecake. Even eat two plates of broccoli first!
The little girl smiled, satisfied with his answer.
“Hmm…” Steve heard behind him. He turned to see Natasha, Sam and Tony squinting at him. He sighed. Things were about to get real annoying real fast.
Steve could reach out and grab the plate if he really wanted to, but he happened to know that Pepper’s favorite vase was in front of him. If he did reach out, Tony would lurch away and Steve would probably end up breaking the vase. He liked Pepper too much to do that to her.
“Say ‘please’!” Tony chides.
“I know you want it. Come on, just say it.
“No! That’s my cheesecake, Tony. You stole it when I went to the bathroom.”
“Okay,” Tony says. Then he grins. “Say ‘Tony’s my favorite Avenger’, then.”
Steve rolls his eyes. Tony tries again. “Say ‘I hate freedom’.” Which just makes Steve roll his eyes once more. He sighs and turns to leave the room. Eventually Tony will get bored enough to leave his cheesecake alone. He went all the way to his favorite bakery in Brooklyn today to get it. He’s willing to wait to eat it in peace. He’s halfway to the doorway when he hears, “Okay, I’ll just eat it.”
Steve sprints back into the kitchen, getting up in Tony’s space so quickly that he takes a step backwards. Steve grits his teeth and makes the meanest face he can muster. “Tony’s my favorite Avenger.”
Tony’s eyebrows lift in surprise. “Thank you. Enjoy your cheesecake.” He hands Steve the plate and smiles.
Steve sneers and leaves the room, cheesecake in hand.
“I need a favor,” Sam says.
“We need a favor,” Natasha corrects.
Steve looks up at his them, annoyed already. “What?”
“Well,” Sam starts. “You know how I go to the park in Harlem every Saturday with my old high school buddies? I may have entered an ultimate frisbee competition.”
“And I may have joined him last weekend and- Steve- the guy from the other team is an asshole. All of them are, actually.” Steve wonders for a second how Natasha found herself at a park in Harlem with Sam making competitive enemies, but he figures the story is too weird for even him to wrap his head around.
“And we happen to know the guy who’s the world’s best frisbee player,” Natasha tells him, tilting her head and giving him an innocent smile.
“It’s not a frisbee-”
“It’s basically a frisbee, Steve,” Sam says. “Come on, help us out! It’s two against eight right now.”
Steve sighs and even though he already knows he’s going, he lies. “I don’t know.”
“I’ll buy you an entire cheesecake,” Natasha says quickly.
“I’ll have my mom make you another one!” Sam adds.
Steve smiles. “I could never resist one of Darlene’s cheesecakes. Count me in.”
Nat and Sam high five.
Bucky nudges his shoulder. Steve groans, rolling over to stuff his face in the mattress. It can’t even be 7 in the morning yet. He’s pretty sure he just went to bed.
“Hey, punk. Wake up.”
“Ten more minutes.”
“We gotta go feed Natasha’s cat. You know we can’t be late. She’ll kill me. If I go alone, the cat will kill me. Wake up,” Bucky tells him. “Plus, I got you cheesecake for breakfast.”
Steve shoots out of bed. “Let’s go feed the cat from hell. Bring a napkin.”
It’s been years since The Accords were shredded. It’s been years since Tony called Steve from that burner cell phone and said, “We need your help, Cap.”
And Steve had gone. He’d gone because that’s what his body and mind are hardwired to do- help, protect. He’d taken one look at the shield at had been his for so long. It’d been frozen with him, it’d been out of place and time with him, it’d been the thing that identifies Steve as who he was. It’s the symbol of Captain America.
“I’m not Captain America anymore,” Steve had told Tony, swallowing hard. Steve had looked to Sam standing next to him, eyes flicking between Tony and the disaster occurring behind him. All the people he could be helping if he wasn’t standing by Steve’s side. “But he is.”
Steve had still helped and at moments, his fingers had ached for his shield to be between them, but for once he wasn’t just Captain America. He was Steve, just Steve.
“This is your nephew,” Tony tells him, years later. Steve had no idea that Tony’s voice could ever sound so soft. “James.”
Steve cracks a teeny smile when he hears it. Sam says , “I hear Rhodey says he’s going to officially change Bucky’s name to Binky so that he can have the name James all to himself.”
Tony smiles. “I’m writing a check as we speak. You wanna hold him, Uncle Steve?”
Uncle, and Steve doesn’t know what to do with the new title at first. He can take military ranks, sir, mister, but uncle- that’s. Steve looks into Tony’s eyes, his eyebrows lifted in question, his beautiful new son curled up closely to his chest. James is so small, so fragile and Tony wants Steve to hold him and be his uncle. It’s personal. It’s family.
“Yeah,” Steve clears his throat and sits up straighter. “Yeah I do.”
James squeaks and grunts as Tony gets him settled on Steve’s chest, since he likes to be positioned that way. Steve puts one of his big hands underneath his bottom and another behind his head to support it, since Sam’s nervously whispering, “his head, his head!” behind him.
James is so soft, so little that Steve can barely stand it. “He’s, Tony-” Steve can’t think of the words. He’s glorious. He’s a miracle. He’s proof that things like babies and puppies and really good coffee are just as perfect reasons to keep fighting the good fight every day as any. He’s a reminder to Steve that his family, this new family stretches further than he thought. “He’s perfect.” Is what Steve settles on.
“I know,” Tony replies. His tone isn’t cocky like it normally might be. It’s reverent.
Steve looks at James’ little balled up fingers and counts them, unbelieving that five little fingers can be that small. “Sam come see, he has five fingers.”
Sam and Tony both laugh. “What were you expecting?” Sam asks.
“Exactly that,” Steve answers. He looks up at Tony again. “He’s absolutely perfect.”
Hi Lovlies. How do you think each of the Avengers would cope with going on a cruise ship?? The spies being hyper vigilant, tony providing great internet, steve and the motion of the waves etc.
“I don’t feel good,” Steve groans, his head sagging between his knees.
“Huh,” Tony says. “Who knew that the Super Soldier Serum didn’t take away motion sickness?” Steve hears him rummaging around in his bag for something before he finds it and gives a pleased hum.
“What are you even doing?” Rhodes asks from where he’s seated in the lounge chair. The three of them are in “Mission Command” aka Tony’s room since he only managed to score a luxury suite for himself.
“I’m trying to fix the wifi on this godforsaken boat so we can get our intel, get the bad guys and then get out.”
“I don’t know,” Rhodes says. He slurps his drink loudly. “I wouldn’t mind staying the entire cruise.”
“Ugh,” Steve groans.
Tony opens his mouth to reply but just then Clint comes falling out of the ceiling. Literally falling out of the ceiling.
“Hey guys,” Clint manages, coughing with the dust that’s surrounding him.
“Great,” Tony says. “Now I have to fix that too, or well, pay for it at least.”
“I’m okay!” Clint assures them.
“I’m not,” Steve groans.
“Hey guys! They have a- what the hell?” Sam questions as he enters the room. He flings the door shut when Natasha strides in behind him. They’re both dressed to the nines in tropical gear and holding fruity drinks. Steve’s stomach continues to churn.
“Clint we haven’t even been here four hours! We haven’t even entered international waters!” Natasha says. She’s trying to stifle a laugh. Sam is too. He’s mostly unsuccessful.
“Steve, buddy, you don’t look so good,” Sam’s telling him but Steve doesn’t hear because he’s too busy racing to the bathroom.
“What’s wrong with him?” He hears Sam ask.
“What’s more believable? He has a weakness for piña coladas or apparently gets very, very sea sick on cruise ships?” Tony answers.
Steve rests his cheek on the cool tile of the bathroom floor. Then he groans.
Royalty au where steve and tony meet at a party and fall in love but then they find out that they're both in arranged marriages so they have to break up BUT THEN THEY END UP BEING ARRANGED TO MARRY EACH OTHER ALL ALONG
Some time between them meeting and falling for each other and finding out they’ve been arranged to be married all along, they both try to get out of the arrangement/contract/whatever. Luckily, both are grudgingly convinced to hold out until a first in-person meeting before doing anything rash and if it goes horribly, then they will see what they can do about mutually breaking the arrangment. Of course, then they meet and despair at trying so hard to not marry the other, while their entourages laugh quietly in the distance!