melissa and 30

(14/3/17)

30 day studyblr challenge, day 23: a photo of your favourite character from TV (because it’s important to relax sometimes too)

supergirl is such a smol bean. do I even need to explain myself here?!

however, the runner ups are spencer hastings and kim possible.

today was pretty interesting- I attended a breakfast at school where we took part in an amnesty international ‘write for rights’ campaign. we basically wrote letters to world leaders urging them to allow people in need their basic human rights. it was great to do something different!

song of the day: lay it all on me - rudimental feat. ed sheeran

have a great day everyone! xo

(@hayley-studies)

Another Spaleb post

I’ve been talking to some folks about this and there are some extra comments I want to make on the subject. Especially after in flood in the tag about how sad Hanna is going to be, how much of a slut Spencer is (the cart comment, jesus) and how Hanna and Toby deserve more than Spencer and Caleb because they are obviously very bad people.

Okay, first of all, people need to stop calling Spencer a slut. I can’t really express how fucking angry this makes me. Melissa was so out of line making that comment. Let’s all gather around and remember who it was that Spencer ‘stole’ - Ian and Wren. Well, Ian was her sister’s boyfriend. According to the show’s wiki, Melissa is 30 and Spencer is 23 (since the time jump). Ian was in highschool with Melissa, same year as her and Jason. That means that when Spencer was 15, the year that she kissed Ian. Ian is seven years older then Spencer. Ian, people, is 22. Ian, my friends, is a pedophile and we know he recorded teenage girls in their room and also made out with them, namely, Spencer and Allison and who knows who else.

Wren is also much older than Spencer. The wiki says he’s 24, but I’m guessing this is before the time jump. We can safely assume he’s close to Melissa’s age. Which means, damn, he’s also a pedo, who also made out with teenage girls. Are we sensing a pattern here?

Aside from the extensive relationship between Aria and Ezra, which is super creepy, two grown men kissed a teenage girl who’s only flaw is being insecure, like most teenagers. Did she take some pleasure in it? Maybe. Melissa and Spencer have a rocky relationship and in some ways, I’m sure Spencer enjoyed flipping her sister of. But not to the extent of making out with her boyfriends. All she did was be there. Maybe she did have a crush on Ian and so what? She was a teenager, he was her coach in that sport she played for like one episode and it’s normal for teenagers to develop crushes. Him being her sister’s boyfriend is just unfortunate but it talks about their competitive relationship and how they are always at odds. It’s a sad plot device but it is what it is.

Spencer was a confused teenager. When Wren happens she’s already being bullied by A, who uses her confusion and her attraction to a much older man against her. She effectively manipulated into things she’s not sure about. No one can convince me Wren isn’t in on the whole thing.

There you go, folks. A teenage girl who is groomed and manipulated by fear, confusion, attraction (something that is confusing and scary especially in your teens). She shouldn’t be blame for what happened, the men who did it should and if you really, really don’t get this, you’re a fucking idiot. You can come call me a dick if you like, no fucks to give. You’re blaming the victim because you’re sad your ship isn’t sailing and right, whatever, sucks to be you right now, but that’s now excuse.

Anyway, time jump. Spencer and Caleb have spent years and years as friends and have met up as adults, exploring their adult lives and living through new experiences. They’ve grown up and sadly that life no longer includes their teenage romances. Is it sad? Yeah. Is it normal? Yeah.

Because you don’t always marry the person you first fall in love with. Scratch that, hardly anyone ever does. The person you dated in highschool no matter how amazing they were back then, has grown up and become someone different. Career choices, life choices, how you want to live your life, etc, all of that shapes you, changes you. You’re the same, most of the time, but your decisions are shaped by what you do with yourself and your life. Caleb, Hanna, Toby and Spencer are very, very different people than they were back when they were in highschool.

It is supremely unrealistic to expect that all of them would still be in love with their original partner because truth be told, they have fuck all in common.

I see some people posting that Spencer was jealous of the house Toby was building for someone else. I’m betting she’s the daughter of the opponent Mrs. Hastings is going up against because that’s how PLL rolls. And that’s his style - find a driven, ambitious girl and get with her. He likes ambitious women. That’s one of the many things he liked about Spencer. Spoby had a deep, complex relationship and it’s natural that once she got back, she made a comment about the house. Because she’s snarky and cynical and it’s highly likely that she’s curious about her, because they’ve broken up but that doesn’t mean their past is just gone.

See, this is how it works - you have a long relationship with someone, it doesn’t end in fire and blood. The aftermath is picking up the pieces and moving on. You find someone new, you fall in love with someone new. The other person, in this case your first love, doesn’t stop being important to you, what you had doesn’t go away because love like that, real love, never does. They will always have a special place in each other’s lives and hearts because they shared so much, not just being each other’s first love, but tragedy and events that they’ll spend their whole lives dealing with. There’s so much more to Spoby and Haleb than them being true love, highschool sweethearts, etc. There’s real life shit, really important, scarring shit that happened while they were together, to all of them. They went through hell together.

But that doesn’t mean it’s meant to be. Or that is enough to make it work. Maybe they grew apart, maybe something pulled them apart. Or they out grew each other, because no matter how much you love someone, when you meet in your teens and make radically different life choices as all four of them have, especially compared to each other’s original partner, that shit is normal. They all have different goals and things going on and yes, sorry, but Spaleb has more in common than Haleb or Spoby. Not just in terms of personality but in terms of how they see the world and what they want out of it. They’re not necessarily the same but they complement each other much better, in a grown up way. They’re more in sync with each other than Haleb or Spoby because they’re both rational but in different ways, both logical and resourceful but in different ways, with different pasts and different skills.

Is this super romantic? No.

But the romance you feel and live through in highschool is never going to be the same as the one you have when you grow up. Because you’ve experienced things, you’ve moved on from more romantic views, you’ve lived through other relationships and, frankly, you become practical and less willing to simply fall in love because you can. Because you’re an adult, you have a life, you have goals and objectives and sometimes the best person isn’t the one you dated when you were 16. Mature, grown up relationships aren’t any less cool or sweet because they’re based on more substancial things than attraction and getting along, they’re just different.

A relationship based on friendship, a long ass friendship at that, sexual and physical, emotional and psychological attraction isn’t any less cool or romantic just because it’s not as sweet and doe eyed as it was with the other ships. It’s really fucking annoying the idea that any relationship you have that isn’t your first one is doomed because you’ll never love someone as much as you loved them. You will. You’ll just do so differently. And that’s fine. That’s how it is and it’s just as sweet, just as cute, just as deep as the first one. Is it as romantic at first sight? No. But it is if you look at it the right way, instead of refusing to take your rose colored glasses.

Hanna is engaged. If she breaks up with Jordan because suddenly she realizes she still wants to be with Caleb just because Spencer and Caleb are dating, that’s a serious fucking insult to every adult relationship because you don’t just get engaged because the other person isn’t there anymore. Can it happen? Sure. But mostly, you get over your first love. It sucks, but you do. Will she be sad and awkward? Yeah. But she’ll get over that as well. Because she’s a grown ass woman.

Spencer commenting on the house thing was just a quip, a joke. It probably came from some bitterness about the break up or its just Spencer being snippy because she can and because its okay. You can move on and still find the person you first fell in love with attractive, because you’re seeing them through nostalgia goggles and you remember the best parts more vividly than the bad ones. That’s how we see the past, we romanticize it.

Spaleb makes sense because they’re grown ups who share a lot and fell in love, carefully and slowly.

all righty-o starting today, i’m doing a 30 days of regular and a 30 days of horror movie challenge

this post will be linked for reference on every update and includes the days underneath the read more in case anyone wants to see what the heck is going on or wants to try it themselves

posts will be tagged under ‘melissa and 30’ and ‘melissa and 30 horror’

wish me luck!

normal 30 days

  1. movie you’ve seen countless times
  2. the best movie you saw during the last year
  3. favorite action movie
  4. favorite sci-fi movie
  5. favorite documentary
  6. favorite fantasy/adventure movie
  7. favorite drama
  8. favorite movie based on a book/comic/etc.
  9. favorite animated movie
  10. favorite horror movie
  11. favorite thriller
  12. favorite love story in a movie
  13. the most surprising plot twist or ending
  14. movie you think is overrated
  15. movie you think is underrated
  16. movie you were disappointed by
  17. movie you wish you’ve seen already
  18. movie you couldn’t finish watching
  19. movie that inspires you
  20. movie you’re looking forward to
  21. movie with great visuals
  22. a movie that changed your opinion about something
  23. movie that reminds you of a good memory
  24. movie that makes you cry/almost cry
  25. movie from your favorite director
  26. movie with your favorite actor
  27. movie with your favorite actress
  28. movie with the best ending
  29. movie with your favorite musical score
  30. favorite movie of all time

30 days of horror

  1. a horror movie that delivered a scary theater experience
  2. a disappointing or unnecessary remake
  3. a scene or image burned into your mind
  4. movie that kills off countless main/named characters
  5. great indie horror - isolation
  6. doesn’t seem to scare other people as much as it scares you
  7. an incredibly twisted movie
  8. a movie you refuse to watch
  9. a movie that you like to introduce to people
  10. a movie you expected to be bad, but enjoyed
  11. wonderful use of lighting
  12. horror movie plot you would least like to end up in
  13. a formidable antagonist
  14. best “based on true events” film
  15. a painfully suspenseful movie
  16. a frightening dream sequence/hallucination
  17. a bad ass post/pre-kill one-liner
  18. amovie with unsettling scenery
  19. a boring horror movie
  20. a great remake
  21. a horror movie that only makes you laugh
  22. a frightening child actor
  23. the most surprising plot twist or ending
  24. an effective jump scare