i. august is silver-flaming madness, a warm drowning like a kiss. i’m entrapped in visions of us dark & flustering midnight, watching the blue butterflies pressing their wings into our windows, shaping the soundlessness. your hand, an unkempt puzzle against mine, how we fit into the chaos like star-stencils.
ii. will you miss me when i’m ash? the moon reflects your mouth / reflects dead rainbows / reflects death. you breathe like a blow torch, every word an arrowhead maimed to deflect. we are devouring these cesspools of suffering, hellfire capering on our tongues, your name a furious heat like coals jammed in teeth. some songs only hurt when its storming out / some girls blame the burns on their mommas / whisper that this violet-scarred melancholia is gestational.
iii. if you mumble solitude enough times it starts to sound like a stranger. a stranger that left you and never told you why. so its that bleeding time of day again / so dawn gurgles the sky / so i’m coughing up my heart rinds out on the kitchen table and you’re unfurling to fly. a starling brightening seawards, cascading in waves, ajar like the window and inevitable as morning come.
iv. rundown dreams / a flower pot tossed across the room, doused in gasoline like our love like you / something waiting in the flames / glittering oblivion across careening asphalt / smoke-danger / scream-rain / your lifeline a seraphim shadowing mine / i need to be awoken, from this unearthly slumber / told thrice, that self-immolation is a means to the worst kind of end / that winter harbors no resentment against the half-eaten forest / that pain is a natural occurrence / a side-effect of being alive, of color in the cheeks & pink pliable toils.
v. glitter-cake my soul. cripple my wrath. i want to be endless, which is to say, i want to be a god. but we are mere flitter-bugs, measuring our lives in ripened fruits & whitening hair. something tells me you make the most of it. these evenings slip by you, grim-faced and lightless. you are ireland skies on rudimentary days, your raven wings stretching beyond me like december fog. sometimes i think, you live like you’ve never loved, tell me, how do you do that?
GRAZING THE MOUTHLESS SKY | STRAWBERRY SONGS | j.r