mein inspiration

This post talks about Depression as one of its main topics, heads up!

I wish I had chosen a happier topic to write about, but this it very important so I think this text might be needed.
I myself have been diagnosed with depression almost three years ago, and have been dealing with it ever since. It’s influenced practially every part of my life, but most importantly it’s had a huge impact on my school life. Such as recently:

I had to write my Seminararbeit, a ~30 page paper that determines whether I’m allowed to do my Abitur or not. But because of depression I felt unable to start it or finish my art project or anything, so I procrastinated for up to two weeks. And because of procrastination my work didn’t reach my expectations, which again feeds into my depression. Sounds great right? I think this might feel familiar to some of you. So I wrote down some of the things that kept me from writing my paper (or anything else that you just can’t get yourself to do) and how I dealt with them. I hope I can help at least one person, then this wasn’t a waste of time.

  • Unrealistic expectations: I hold myself to ridiculously high expectations, especially when it’s about my work. Whenever that happens I sit down, take out a paper and write down the exact situation I’m in right now. It doesn’t even have to be on paper but it helps me groud myself and get back to reality, so that I can evaluate what is possible for me to reach and what isn’t.
  • Unhealthy levels of procrastination: STICK. TO. A. SCHEDULE. On the worst days I seriously set a timer on my phone for every single thing I was about to do. This takes a lot of discipline, which is the best weapon against procrastination and is easiest to train on your better days. Ofc a journal helps tons but that’s a no-brainer.
  • Do the bare minimum: On some days doing the bare minimum for myself is taking a shower, on others it’s writing a 6-page essay. And on the worst days I can’t even do the minimum. But doing one little thing makes the day feel like it wasn’t wasted. And on the better days, work ahead so that you have a bit of a puffer for the worst case, such as cleaning your room for example (I can tell how bad I’ve been doing by how dirty my room is).

I hope these three little things help at least someone, I’ll be posting more again the following weeks, but slowly so that I don’t have to force myself.

7

My little heart
beats just 
for you
it counts the hours
until you come back
then you 
embrace me

requested by @movieandmusicuniverse

Staying inspired - but how?

For me it’s always been hard to stay inspired, so over time I collected some methodes and ways to get that damn inspiration back again. Inspiration is one of the biggest drives behind what I do - whether I’m being inspired by someone or I want to be the one to inspire others. So staying inspired is key for motivation, in my case.
Here’s some ways that could help you stay inspired:

StudySpo (duh)

I know this should go without saying, but the studyblr community is one of my biggest inspirations. All of the studyblrs I see with their beautifuly aesthetics, bullet journals and study spaces make me want to be the same.
But (!) it can be hard to see all of this on your dash and feel like you’re never gonna be a part of this, because you feel like your handwriting isn’t neat enough or you can’t afford those pretty Muji gel liners.
In that case I can only advise that you start using what you already have and create your own aesthetic. You can have notes that are just as pretty and inspire you to learn better and harder without expensive stationary or a minimalist room.

Movies and books

Those can be a huge inspiration, especially when the message is to work harder or try your best or whatever. Imagery plays a huge role for me personally, so the prettier a movie is the more it might inspire me. I notice this the most with Studio Ghibli movies! Books are different, that way. It’s special to me when I can identify with a character and I see how they overcome their fears and problems.
But this differs from person to person! Search for your inspirations in movies and books and return to them when you feel uninspired.

My favs are:
- Legally Blonde (movie)
- Whisper Of The Heart (movie)
- Reasons To Stay Alive by Matt Haig (book)

Other tips

  • Clean your room! Seriously nothing makes me want to be active more than a tidy room. It’s the best workspace to be productive and study, paint, or do whatever you want to.
  • Listen to study playlists or make your own! (*cough* inserting self promo *cough* You can find me as rosenmaedchen on playmoss!) I feel like inspiration and motivation come to me way quicker when i have the right music.
  • Take a break. This is v important.Sometimes when we really want to achieve our goals we overwork ourselves. Inspiration won’t find you when you’re exhausted and don’t have the power to do anything you want to at all. Treat yourself.

- Nika ♥

2

Monday, 02.10.17 • 16:16 • at home

022/100 Days of Productivity

Maths will be the death of me, rip
Today will be my “chill” day, I did some work just now and next I’ll do a face mask and watch some GMM or Gossip Girl. Gotta get some stuff done tomorrow before I’m gone Wednesday and Thursday (hella stressed abt missing class, especially Maths, I’ll miss 3 whole lessons). Does someone have tips abt how to catch up efficiently?

Listening to: Szaman - Paluch

okay so like I see a lot of headcanons in which Tommy Chow Mein is a kind of grumpy-yet-secretly-nice guy and he’s like friends with Dr. D + Pony/The Fab 4

BUT I SAY
what if he’s like the opposite of that? he acts all chummy on the outside but it’s a farce, because he doesn’t care about much of anything besides himself and his business,
and the Fab 4 can’t STAND him??

Tommy’s a salesman, a cutthroat salesman, but a salesman (maybe even a bit of a showman). And for him, the best way to make it out here in the Zones is to SELL, SELL, SELL!
And he really is one of the best at it. Tommy can get you ANYTHING– for a price.
He thinks he should try to appeal to people, encourage them to buy more, but perhaps he overdoes it. It’s not that he’s annoying, but sometimes his overzealous attitude, his determination to convince you that you NEED to buy, takes on a manic tint, a cold glint enters his eyes while you’re trying to haggle prices with him. He may want you to BUY, BUY, BUY, but he’s not very accomodating. It’s his way or the highway. He doesn’t care if your mate is fucking dying in the car outside; the price is 600 carbons and that’s FINAL. If you don’t like how he operates, fine, you can pack up and leave. He doesn’t care about you unless you can pay.
He doesn’t like if you try to talk to him about anything that doesn’t have to do with business.
Despite his fake cheery exterior, Tommy can turn on you in a flash, get deadly serious deadly quick. And you can’t cheat Tommy Chow Mein. Destroya help you if you try to cheat Tommy Chow Mein.
He’s not dishonest himself, but no one really likes him. You come to him because he’s the best, because you know that you can count on him to deliver (as long as you have the carbons) but nobody LIKES him. And that’s just fine with him, because he doesn’t really like any of you either, no matter what he’ll say when he’s trying to convince you to buy a new raygun or bottle of hair dye.

Für den Fall, wenn es wirklich mal so kommt

Wenn ich dir meine URL gegeben habe und dies als letztes gerebloggt habe, dann ist es mein Abschiedsbrief. Und darin möchte ich dir jetzt schon danke sagen. Und tut mir leid, aber wenn ich es dann wirklich durchgezogen habe, dann sei bitte nicht traurig. Es wird besser, sowohl für dich als auch für mich. Ich hoffe, dass du mich nie vergisst, denn dich trage ich immer in meinem Herzen, selbst wenn es nicht mehr schlägt. Du bist ein wahrhaft toller Mensch, ich denke immer an dich, auch wenn es das letzte ist, was ich lebendig noch tue. Auch darüber hinaus tue ich es weiterhin. Ich liebe dich. Du hast mich jedes Mal aufgemuntert, nur wegen dir ist es immer weiter gegangen - irgendwie. Doch leider auch deine Wärme schafft es irgendwann nicht mehr, die Wärme meines Blutes aufrecht zu halten. Doch auch wenn ich es dir schon oft genug gesagt habe, du bist der Mensch, für den ich alles getan hätte. Du forderst nie etwas, du teilst gerne. Egal ob es Geld, Essen oder Freude ist. Und während ich noch lebe, kannst du jedes Mal zu mir kommen. Dir gehört ein Teil meiner Seele. Du bist und warst mein Lebenselixier, meine Schmerztablette, mein Sauerstoff, Inspiration, Hoffnung und mein Leben. Ich weiß, es klingt wie ein Liebesgeständnis. Auf eine Art ist es das auch, aber nicht mit Eifersucht, zitternden Knien und Schmetterlingen im Bauch. Keine kitschige Romanze. Das ist eine Liebe, deren Freude darin besteht, dich glücklich zu sehen, egal ob mit mir oder ohne mich. Dein Glück ist mir wichtiger als meins. Viel mehr - dein Glück ist auch meins. Irgendwann sehen wir uns vielleicht wieder, aber bis dahin sollst du dein Leben leben, deine Träume verwirklichen und dein Glück vervollständigen und diese Werte an deine Nachkommen weitergeben. Ich halte ein Auge und ein Flügel auf dich, wenn ich im Himmel bin, auch wenn ich eigentlich an so was nicht glaube. Aber wenn es eine Art gibt, für dich da zu sein, dann werde ich es auch. Tut mir leid, dass du mich nicht mehr halten konntest, doch ich habe verstanden, dass du auch ohne mich glücklich sein kannst und das ist gut so. Aber ich selbst werde nicht mehr glücklich, dafür bin ich nicht so stark wie du. Ich bin viel zu kaputt. Alles was ich will, dass du jetzt glücklich bleibst. Ich werde dich immer lieben und beschützen, mein Arschi.

In Liebe,

deine L. ❤

5

“These hands of mine that couldn’t help anyone are being touched by you.”

“I told myself that I wouldn’t cry anymore…”

“But I can’t stop my tears from falling…”

“Please hold me tight… and never let go”

This song gives me the feels ;-;)/
Every song I have can be paired with monobabies i cant believe it.