are we really surprised that Connor came out before Jude though? The Judicorn made it clear from the beginning that he didn’t like labels, and he was fair more comfortable discussing his sexuality than Connor was. I do think it’s because he had the support of his family, but it also might be a personality trait (because we know he hadn’t always have it easy), Jude is strong enough that he doesn’t care about what people think, at the point that he doesn’t like Callie’s little speech about ‘living low key’ in season one.
Connor, on the other hand, has been raised by a homophobic father had him fearing to even utter the word 'gay’. As a gay person, it must have been a nightmare to be forced to negate his own identity, to be taught how to ‘act straight’ since before he even knew what it meant . When Connor met Jude, he was well aware of the difference between ‘acting gay’ and ‘straight’ and i’m sure that he was very endeared by the boy who could go to school wearing blue nail polish and stand up to the bullies without blinking an eye.
The point is, Connor didn’t have the privilege of discovering his sexuality in a healthy environment, and in a perfect world we would all act like the Judicorn, not using labels, not judging and never caring about what people think. Nevertheless, the world portrayed in the show is very much the real world and Connor has experienced a side of it that we all know too well. Labels are important to him because they are to his father, and as much as i wish this wasn’t the case, that same label that his father made him fear is the only instrument that he has to stand up to him.
I noticed that people tend to misunderstand Connor’s actions with ‘confusion’ and ‘playing’, and so many times Jude has been portrayed like the pining gay boy with a crush on his straight friend. In reality, Connor’s situation has been clear for a long time. Yes, Connor was questioning himself, yes, he probably wasn’t sure of his identity when he first met Jude, but for a boy raised in a homophobic environment, he’s taken pretty big steps and i’m impressed on the beautiful development that the writers have made him go through. I don’t blame Connor for having kept dating Daria, I don’t blame him for having wanted to keep his and Jude’s relationship a secret, and I am certainly not surprised that he came out before Jude. Connor needed to make it clear, to his father and to himself, that no matter what he’s been taught, no matter how much of his identity has been negated before it could fully develop, he can’t hide who he is, and who he is can be defined with a specific label that does matter a lot.