I’ll be 27 on the 16th. Reflecting on changing tides… After 8 years away from my birthplace, & a serious itch to leave Los Angeles, I decided to try Michigan again. To be face to face with my family & all of these twisted memories. To shine my light on these dark & dusty roots. I’ve been here for 4 months now, & I’ve taken off dozens of my masks to hang on the wall. I love these masks, I like playing with them, but I need something different now. Here is one of them in this self portrait. I’m coming home to myself. Carefully tending to centuries of baggage I thought I had already dealt with. Still, I’m not surprised. I’ve sat with myself countless times to be able to recognize the weight of these stories, perspectives, beliefs & identities. Now, every time I feel them, I dance, I shake, I move each one through me in waves until I laugh or cry them out completely. I love this way of being.
“What are you ‘appropriating’? Who are you deceiving? What is your strategy to achieve your ends? What research are you doing? What ideas are you collecting? How are you maneuvering the outcome? What is confusing you? What can you do to drop your defenses and become more open? What are the weaknesses in your plan, research or work? What previous knowledge and abilities are you drawing on? What is strengthening you to face opposition? What disciplines are carrying you through? Who or what is demanding a lot from you? What task do you have to handle on your own? What life-changes are you experiencing? How are you adapting to these changes? What effects are you feeling from circumstances you put in motion previously? Is there something you need to resolve? How are your horizons expanding? What are you earning by your endeavors - material wealth, security, status? How are you enjoying what you have earned? How are you spending your leisure time? How do you give thanks for all that you’ve gained? What are you doing with the time you have to yourself? What are you looking for or what do you need to know? Who can help you find out? What concerns about time do you have? What do you need to keep silent about? What would be the prudent thing to do? What do you need to complete?”
Everything changes when you allow your mind to be quiet. You are not
your habits, but what you give attention to time and time again will
become your reality. There is nothing to fear. What may seem challenging
can liberate you & expand your awareness for who you truly are. Who
you think you are is not your true self. Everything you want is here
now, you must loosen your grip on life to recognize the gifts. Don’t
think too hard about what you want to do, always do what is already on
the plate in front of you. Procrastination is the opposite of gratitude.
If you feel tired, numb or negative, work through it. You are more than
your physical & emotional sensations. Strengthen your intuition
& it’s light will guide you. Learn to breath fully, it will grant
you control over your thoughts. An open mind is necessary for freedom.
Awareness is freedom. You will be as you breathe. You are light. You are
here. I love you.