megan is a doll

i’m in my prime,
not withering and old.
but i refuse to play
your wicked games any longer.

i know this tether is unbreakable,
but you make me feel like i’m interchangeable.
you drew a target on my heart,
when did this become fatal attraction?

i don’t have the strength,
the energy,
nor the patience
to be held hostage by your love.

so baby please don’t despair
when i say that
i’ve found the courage to
let you go.

you were never meant to be tied down in the first place.

—  believing i could love you was my mistake, c.j.n.
I’m The King

Relationship: Negan X Fem!Reader

Warnings: Lot’s of Cussing, Negan being Negan, you almost being Negan, lots of Badassary

A/N: IM HONESTLY IN LOVE WITH THE WAY THIS TURNED OUT SO I HOPE YOU ENJOY MY FIRST WALKING DEAD IMAGINE!!!!

Summary: You’re basically a female Negan and this is how things turn out.

~~~

“What do you mean Ray?” You growled at the man who served as your right-hand. The brown haired man shifted nervously until until you gave him a sharp glare and he stopped.

“A group attacked us on our way back from one of the pick-ups.” Ray stated. “Took everything, we killed a couple and they said a man named Negan would deal with us later.”  


You stood up fingers gripping the wooden bat and letting one of the many nails that had been stuck into it scrape along the floor. One of your gloved hands drummed against your desk as you walked into the large circle of men and women that gathered in your office. Everyone was silent and didn’t dare make a noise. “Why does this keep happening Ray?” You hummed  looking the man in the eye. “That’s the third time this month, and frankly I’m pissed. Get a truck ready.”

“But you have no one to collect from until next week-” One of your advisors said.

“Does it look like I fucking care?” You asked raising an eyebrow and cocking your head. “I said get a truck ready, we’re going to The Winterbush colony, they were a little light last time anyways.” You handed your beloved bat to Ray before pulling on your gloves and tugging on the worn leather jacket. “I wanna have a word with this Negan because this shit just won’t do.”

———

Less than twenty minutes later- your men knew you hated to wait- you were going to the back of one of your trucks. “M’am are you sure you wanna go back there? Your truck is up in front and ready to go.” You clicked your tongue and turned around on your heel slowly.

“Son, if I wasn’t sure do you really think I’d be going to the back of this fine vehicle?” You told him and he apologized before walking away in slight embarrassment. You hopped into the back of the truck gathering everyone’s attention.

“Listen up!” You shouted, all eyes were on you now. “I wanna meet the man they call Negan, give’em a piece of my mind, so that being said, do not stop unless we’re meeting the man himself!”  

You gave a wicked grin before pulling the back of the vehicle down and being enveloped in darkness. You started humming a tune, nothing special, just something to pass the time. After a short while the truck stopped and you scowled stomping over to the large door and pulling a chain that would allow you to open it.

“What in God’s dead earth is the meaning of this?!” You yelled hopping out of the back and walking to the front of your men where a line of soldiers that weren’t yours stood lined up with a bunch of guns. “Who are you?”

“Negan.” A puny little fellow spoke up towards the end of the line.

“That’s real funny.” You whispered in the man’s face. “I’m going to ask again, who are you?”

“Negan.” A woman said and you turned your head, placing your bat on your shoulder before standing in front of the line of soldiers letting out a hearty laugh.


“Well this is real fucking funny.” You said before grabbing a smaller man and shoving him to the ground. “Now somebody is going to tell me who you are or I’m going to bash ‘lil Timmy’s skull in.”

“Don’t get prissy doll, they’re just doing their job.” A large man wearing a black leather jacket and a red scarf stepped out from behind the line of soldiers. A bat wrapped in barbed wire was sat upon his shoulder next to his salt and pepper colored hair. “I’m Negan, and this is Lucille.” He said picking up his barbed-wire bat.”

“Being a pain in my ass is their job? They need a better career choice bub.” The man had a smirk on his face while your scowl remained permanent. You surveyed the Negan, he seemed to think he was king around here, oh how he was wrong. “Y/N, I’m a very busy woman so I’d like it if you uh, ya know, cut to the chase?”

His smirk left his face and was replaced with a scowl that matched yours. If looks could kill you’d both be dead 10 times over. “You killed my men.”

“You stole my stuff.” You snapped.

“That you stole from others.” He chuckled. You rolled your eyes at the man.


“Survival of the fittest, Megan.” You told him raising an eyebrow.

“It’s Negan doll.” The man said looking down upon you, but you ignored him.

“I don’t bash anymore of their towns brains in and they give me whatever the fuck I want them too.” You said lightly lifting your bat to show Negan what you meant. He let out a hearty chuckle.

“Holy Shit guys!” The man laughed putting his arms out to the side and gesturing to you. “It’s me with tits!”

You scowled before pointing a long finger at his chest. “I want my stuff back.”

Negan laughed again. “No can do doll, unless-” He paused for dramatic effect. “You came back to the sanctuary and we made a deal.”

“What kind of deal?” You asked your scowl still permanent on your face, some of your soldiers weren’t sure if it would ever leave your face again.

“We’ll discuss it at the sanctuary.” Negan gave a cocky smirk and you turned to your men. Some were shaking their heads at you but their opinions didn’t matter. You looked towards Ray who gave you a nod of approval before you turned back to face Negan.

“Let’s go boys!” You shouted with a wicked grin. “We’re taking a field trip!”

Negan attempted to put an arm around your shoulder only for you to dodge it and glare at him. You got in the passenger seat of his truck and waited for the man to get in and start driving.

“Nice try. Found this on one of your men.” Negan said getting into the vehicle and tossing one of the walkies you saw Ray pick up and stick in his pocket into the middle of the seat. Even if you didn’t take the deal you sure as hell wanted tabs on the leader of the saviours.

“Well what can I say?” You smirked with your arm hanging out the window as he started driving.

“Sorry?” Negan gave a grin and you rolled your eyes

“This is the apocalypse, not pre-school.” You told him and for the rest of the ride the two of you sat in comfortable silence, your hand never left your bat, you never got that comfortable in the presence of a potential enemy. When the truck rolled up to the gates of the sanctuary you got out looking around as if you were planning renovations to the place.

“Pretty fucking amazing isn’t it?” Negan gave a grin and put his arms straight out to the side showing off his home. “I’d love to see your home, considering I’ve shown you mine.”

“The deal Negan.” You scowled looking at the man clad in leather. He gave a small smirk before leading you inside on of the buildings. He entered a room with a bed and other furniture before closing the door behind you and taking a seat on the couch. You copied his action and waited for him to talk.

“I like you Y/N, I really do.” He began. “You’ve got spunk.”

“I like to think of it as class.” You told the man with a straight face.

“So here’s my bargain, you and I combine forces.” Negan cut right to the chase. “We combine our homes and the places we control.”

“What do I get out of this deal.” You asked leaning forward resting your elbows on your knees and getting closer to the man in black.

“Well, for starters, you could practically rule around here, be a queen, more supplies for your people, I’ll even give you the rest of your supplies my men took.” Negan claimed and you took everything into consideration. “Not to mention you get to work alongside a handsome devil like myself.”

“That’s funny, because back at my home, I’m treated like a King. But I like your deal, so I’ll take it on one condition,” You say.

“Which is?” Negan asks quirking an eyebrow.

“I go on every supply run. I like to be hands on and make sure people know who I am, put the fear into them in case they’ve forgotten who I am.” You declare before sticking out your hand for him to shake. “We gotta deal?”

He shakes your hand and the two of you stand up walking to the doors. “I’ll be back next week, I expect I’ll have a nice comfortable housing space?” You say looking over your shoulder.

“You shall.” Negan says smirking as you walk away. You round up your men and tell them to get in the truck. You turn around and send Negan a wink before getting in a truck of your own. “Gent’s, I think I’m in Love.”

List of fucked up movies i've seen/ still need to watch and review

A list of movies I’ve watched, reviewed, or am hoping to watch and review. I’m just making this list so I can save it for when I move because I’ll be starting my film review channel back up after the move!

Also I added the Butters system, so here’s a guide

0 Butters: I can’t believe this is an actual movie that actually got made. Someone actually took the time to create this. Why.
1-2 Butters: Don’t.
2.5-3 Butters: Go ahead. It’s entertaining enough. I guess.
3.5-4 Butters: Oh shit
4.5-5 Butters: Damn that was good as fuck. 

  • Martyrs (2008)

I actually really liked this one. It brought up some really good points about life and death and the acting was incredible. The English dub actors are like painfully American at some points, but it’s still a pretty good movie. 

Most fucked up part: A 10 minute montage of a girl getting the shit beat out of her

I have reviewed this

4
/5 Butters

  • Audition (2001)
  • Cannibal Holocaust (1980)
  • I Spit On Your Grave (1978)
  • A Clockwork Orange (1971)*

It’s a classic, but it’s a little older so it’s not quite as “edgy” as some of the newer movies on the list, but it tells a great story and Malcolm McDowell plays and excellent Alex DeLarge

Most fucked up part: There’s a moderately graphic rape scene in the beginning

I still need to review this.

4/5 Butters

  • Irréversible (2002)
  • Men Behind The Sun (1988)
  • Salò, Or The 120 Days Of Sodom (1975)
  • The Human Centipede (First Sequence) (2009)*
  • The Human Centipede II (Full Sequence) (2011)*

When the first one came out there was so much hype. “Omg this is the most fucked up movie ever!!!” And then I watched it, and, while the concept is disgusting, it’s kind of boring and the acting is terrible. I didn’t even really feel bad for the girls because their characters were so unlikable.

The second one at least lived up to the gross-ness, but it was still fucking terrible.

Most fucked up part: A naked pregnant woman gives birth in her car and then squashes the baby’s head with her foot.

I still need to review this.

1/5 Butters

  • Aftermath (1994)*

It’s only a half hour and there’s no plot. I mean you can go ahead and watch it because it’s only a half hour of your life, but it’s pretty meh. Basically a doctor fucks a dead body during an autopsy and then gives some human meat to his dog

The most fucked up part: A doctor fucks a dead body during an autopsy and then gives some human meat to his dog. that’s literally the whole thing. 

I still need to review this. 

1/5 Butters

  • August Underground’s Mordum (2003)
  • This is the worst movie I’ve ever seen. 20 minutes in I checked the time and died a little inside because there was an hour left. After it was over I just sat there and ate nutella out of the jar because life is too short to waste an hour and twenty minuted of it on this movie. I guess they met their goal though because it actually did make me physically nauseous, and every time I thought it couldn’t possible get more gross, it did. So I mean I guess if you wanna watch an hour and twenty minutes of shaky cam, yelling, and way more vomit than you were expecting, then knock yourself out. It’s not even worth it for the gore. I would watch any other movie that I’ve seen on this list 94 times before I watched this again. If the other 2 August Underground movies were on this list, I would take them off, but fortunately this was the only one that made it on here in the first place.  

    The most fucked up part: The whole thing.

    0/5 Butters 

  • Guinea Pig: The Devil’s Experiment (1985)
  • Guinea Pig: Flowers Of Flesh And Blood (1985)
  • A Serbian Film (2010)

I’ve never been more conflicted with a movie in my life. This movie is well shot, the acting is amazing, the premise is interesting, there are twists and turns along the way, I never lost interest, and yet this is the most sickening, infuriating film I have ever watched in my life. It’s awful, but I just can’t call it a bad movie.

Most fucked up part: I can’t even pick there’s like 5 that stand out and I don’t even want to repeat them.

I have reviewed this 

4/5 Butters

  • Cutting Moments (1997)
  • The Bunny Game (2010)
  • Frontière(s) (2007)
  • Gummo (1997)
  • Nekromantik (1987)
  • Teeth (2007)*

I actually love this movie. It’s the story of a teenage girl with teeth…in her vagina….and they bite down whenever something goes in there without her consent. I feel like us women should evolve to that at some point.

Most fucked up part: Lots of severed dick. Lots. 

I still need to review this

3.5/5 Butters

  • Grotesque (2009)
  • The Girl Next Door (2007)*

A lot of people have been telling me to watch “The Girl Next Door” because it’s “So much more disturbing than *insert any movie on this list*, but I’ve seen it, and I disagree. Don’t get me wrong, the movie is horribly disturbing, but compared to some of its gorier brethren, it’s pretty tame. It’s the concept that fucks you up as opposed to actually showing blood and gore.

Most fucked up part: Implied blowtorch to the vagina

I still need to review this

2.5/5 Butters

  • Dogtooth (2009)*

A satirical foreign film about a father who keeps his family inside for their entire lives. He keeps them under the impression that outside is horrible and evil, and that they can never leave (think Tangled, but with a fuckton of incest.)

Most fucked up part: A girl bashes one of her teeth out with a handweight (if I remember correctly)

I still need to review this

2.5/5 Butters

  • Eraserhead (1977)
  • Slaughtered Vomit Dolls (2006)
  • Melancholie der Engel (2009)
  • Megan Is Missing (2011)

This movie fucked me UP. I couldn’t sleep for days after watching it. I mean I knew it wasn’t a great movie, but about 2/3 of the way through this movie goes from laughably bad to straight up terrifying in 0.1 seconds. Of course, the YMS review cured my fear of it almost entirely, but the concept of what happened in the movie is still absolutely horrifying.

The most fucked up part: Probably when a girl gets buried alive in a plastic barrel….along with the corpse of her best friend.

I have reviewed this.

2
.5/5 Butters

  • Threads (1984)
  • Pink Flamingos (1972)
  • À l'Intérieur (2007)
  • Happiness (1998)
  • Funny Games (1997)*

This is one of my favorite horror movies of all time. What sets it apart from the others is the complete lack of blood and guts, and the fact that the villains break every single classic horror movie rule. It also explores the idea that we have become desensitized through the media. Also the main villain is scary as FUCK (in the Dutch version, although he’s fairly horrifying in the American remake as well.) What’s nice is that the American version is frame-by-frame the exact same movie, so you can watch either version and still get the full effect. No movie has ever made me lock my doors quite so quickly.

Most Fucked Up Part: I mean it’s kind of a spoiler but they kill the dog and then make the mom find it by playing "hot” and “cold.” Some other fucked up shit happens but I don’t wanna ruin it for you guys because it’s that good. 

I still need to review this. 

5/5 Butters

  • Faces of Death (1978)
  • Requiem For A Dream (2000)

It’s not even really a horror movie at all, but it’s one of my favorite movies of all time. It explores several types of addiction- drugs, love, food- and what they can make people do. If you’ve ever considered trying herion, watch Requiem For A Dream and I can almost guarantee you you’ll change your mind.

Most Fucked Up Part: Jared Leto’s gross elbow infection. 

I have reviewed this.

5
/5 Butters

  • Visitor Q (2001)
  • Eden Lake (2008)
  • Philosophy of a Knife (2008)
  • Snowtown (2011)
  • Taxidermia (2006)
  • The Green Elephant (1999)
  • Cannibal (2006)
  • Man Bites Dog (1992)
  • American Mary (2013)

Pretty good if you don’t mind a little gore. It’s about a driven medical student who takes up doing body modification to pay her way through school. Then, when she’s date raped by her professor, she gets some pretty sick revenge and becomes one of the best body mod artists in her area. Girl power! (I think)

The Most Fucked Up Part: I mean there’s a dude with no arms and legs hanging from a meathook at one point. Girl Power!

3.5/5 Butters

  • Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer (1986)
  • Vase de Noces (1975)
  • Feed (2005)
  • Subconscious Cruelty (1999)
  • Where the Dead go to Die (2012)
  • Murder-Set-Pieces (2004)
  • Bad Boy Bubby (1993)
  • The Theatre Bizarre

A collaboration of 6 (I think) different directors put together 6 short films lazily strung together with some plot about a haunted movie theatre. It’s not really fair to judge the movie based on the “theatre” concept seeing as the theatre only exists to get the next short film rolling.
I’ll give you a hint: The first one is stupid, the second one is okay, the third one is disturbing as fuck, the fourth one is so fucking boring, the fifth one tries too hard to be “deep” and “artistic” and the sixth one is disgusting but the main chick’s nose is a fucking work of art and I need to know who her plastic surgeon is.

The most fucked up parts:
Short Film 1= A woman covered in frog slime
Short Film 2= Just lots of blood. 
Short Film 3= Lots of severed dick. Again. 
Short Film 4= A guy kills a deer who’s already dying
Short Film 5= Fetus juice in your eye can’t feel good
Short Film 6= Cannibalism and vomit. 

I have reviewed this.

2
/5 Butters

  • Snuff 102 (2007)
  • In A Glass Cage (1987)
  • Mum & Dad (2008)
  • I Stand Alone (1998)
  • Imprint (2005)
  • Come and See (1985)
  • Niku Daruma (1998)
  • Tetsuo (1989)
  • Angst (1983)
  • The Skin I Live In (2011)
  • Ilsa, She Wolf of the SS (1975)
  • Calvaire (2004)
  • Hard Candy (2005)
  • This movie is good as fuck and makes you cringe a shitload even though theres barely any blood, and the thing about Ellen Page is that I love Ellen Page

  • The most fucked up part: Homeboy gets castrated.

    5/5 Butters

  • The Life And Death of a Porno Gang (2009)
  • I Saw The Devil (2010)
  • Dumplings 
  • A Tale of Two Sisters 
  • The Skin I Live In (2011)
  • Angst (1983)
  • Mum & Dad (2008)
  • Kill List (2011)
  • It was so fucking British. This is what I basically got from it

    Dude 1: nkaihhipgagigsnwhrn pip pip soirgioegiogrs cheerio opsiphgihg0ihgbbige 
    Dude 2: oieudnfkjsngwinpnpno loo hiosi0heobnespnsphig ello govna

    *they kill a guy*

    I was probably just high but I legitimately couldn’t understand a fucking word that was being said. Sorry.

    Also it’s not even a horror movie so what the fuck?

    The most fucked up part: Idk a guy gets his head bashed in with a hammer.

    1/5 Butters

  • Snuff 102 (2007)
  • I Stand Alone (1998)
  • In A Glass Cage (1987)
  • Imprint (2005)
  • Come And See (1985)
  • Shogun’s Sadism (1976)
  • Stoic (2009)
  • Sweet Movie (1974)
  • Singapore Sling (1990)
  • Suspiria (1979)
  • The Seasoning House (2012)
  • When They Cry (2007)*
  • Elfin Lied (2004)*
  • Deadman Wonderland (2011)

If there’s any I need to add, feel free to let me know.

I just saw Days N Daze last night and OH MY GOD MY DUDES!

That shit was so amazing. The show was so ruckus and wonderful! And the. Afterwards, I hung out with Megan and Jesse and his wife Veronica (who is an absolute doll) and they invited me to come see them in June right by my hometown. Veronica gave me some free merch to have and zomg they’re all such sweet people.
I had the best night.
I was having so much fun I forgot to take pictures which is a bummer but still I had such a great time.
Ended up making friends with one of their opening bands Run Rabbit Run. Amazing people as well. Abby is the most adorable and they’re all so talented.