megan fox thumbs

  • Megan Fox: *makes a joke*
  • Everyone: omg she's so obnoxious.
  • Megan Fox: *discusses a serious topic*
  • Everyone: idgi why is she so stupid
  • Megan Fox: *with the same man for ten years*
  • Everyone: shes such a whore
  • Megan Fox: *genuinely funny and adorable in an interview*
  • Everyone: *whistling, twiddling their thumbs looking away*
  • Megan Fox: *no make up*
  • Everyone: lol she's so plain without make up
  • Megan Fox: *looks gorgeous*
  • Everyone: THUMBS!!PLASTIC!WHORE!!
  • Megan Fox: *plays a prostitute*
  • Everyone: SHOCKER
  • Megan Fox: *shows genuine talent*
  • Everyone: *whistling, twiddling their thumbs looking away*
  • Megan Fox: *lands a role - as actors do*
  • Everyone: she slept with the director
  • Megan Fox: *asks a question regarding her and her co-stars safety*
  • Michael Bay: *says he's gonna smack her ass with a paddle*

a list of things i would do if i was god

  • make cats love water so they can swim around with u while u are taking a bath
  • garlic flavored bubblegum (this is a personal one)
  • free world of warcraft
  • for parents to never again say “you’ll hate that tattoo when ur older” or “trust me, you’ll WANT kids” or “you used to have such pretty hair”
  • taco bell to have everything on their menu under a dollar
  • whenever someone masterbates theyd turn purple for a while, like an hour or so, and slowly change back to a regular color 
  • shoes in womens size 11 and up to be always in stock
  • never have invented shots or any form of needle injection, instead human kind just skips over that and goes right to the light beaming the fluid into someone
  • the following people to have never existed: applecrisp snapplecap, the doctor who, castiel windchester, and robin thicke
  • theme parks to be always within an hours drive anywhere u are
  • every restaurant automatically puts the tip amount on the bill
  • people can grow horns
  • horse sized cats
  • cat sized horses
  • orcs to be an actual existing thing 
  • for people to shut the fuck up about how theres a different between which way u put the toilet paper jesus christ people just wipe ur damn farty butt
  • food that can make ur hair grow 10 times faster
  • warrior horse sized cat as acceptable vehicle
  • socks built into shoes that require socks
  • a channel that only plays king of the hill, a channel that plays only rooster teeth stuff, a channel that only plays ytp, all of which are on basic cable
  • roosters to be an acceptable house pet, also the rooster is more domesticated and litter box trainable
  • more tv shows featuring gordon ramsay, i understand he is a busy man so if this is not possible, i will create more gordon ramsays and have a giant barn where they are stored
  • bunk water beds
  • the ability to completely push ur genitals into ur body so u can look like a barbie doll
  • fix megan fox thumbs
  • have goats become more respectable animals in the community
  • ron pearlman dressed as hellboy porno series
  • daily scheduled thunderstorms
  • trees to always be in the yellowy orange state
  • vomiting that never goes thru ur nose
  • every time u thread a needle it goes thru the first time 
  • keanu reeves hotline where if u ever need to talk to him he is there 
  • mcdonalds delivery
  • miyazaki theme park
  • twizzlers to not taste like shit
  • requirement that everyone has at least two cats in their house (cat allergies to not exist)
  • winter actually being winter where it fucking snows instead of just being really cold
  • hentai on netflix
  • customizable car horns so i can make my car do the noise ishimaru makes when he sees chihiros dead body
  • poop looks more interesting