meeting muppets

On the topic of humans being everyone’s favorite Intergalactic versions  of Gonzo the Great:
Come on you guys, I’ve seen all the hilarious additions to my “humans are the friendly ones” post. We’re basically Steve Irwin meets Gonzo from the Muppets at this point. I love it. 

But what if certain species of aliens have Rules for dealing with humans?

  • Don’t eat their food. If human food passes your lips/beak/membrane/other way of ingesting nutrients, you will never be satisfied with your ration bars again.
  • Don’t tell them your name. Humans can find you again once they know your name and this can be either life-saving or the absolute worst thing that could happen to you, depending on whether or not they favor you. Better to be on the safe side.
  • Winning a human’s favor will ensure that a great deal of luck is on your side, but if you anger them, they are wholly capable of wiping out everything you ever cared about. Do not anger them.
  • If you must anger them, carry a cage of X’arvizian bloodflies with you, for they resemble Earth mo-skee-toes and the human will avoid them.
    • This does not always work. Have a last will and testament ready.
  • Do not let them take you anywhere on your planet that you cannot fly a ship from. Beings who are spirited away to the human kingdom of Aria Fiv-Ti Won rarely return, and those that do are never quite the same.

Basically, humans are like the Fair Folk to some aliens and half of them are scared to death and the others are like alien teenagers who are like “I dare you to ask a human to take you to Earth”.

Very Weird Crossover Ideas

1. Star Wars, but it’s a “What We Do in the Shadows” style documentary
(Mostly so you can have things like members of Rogue Squadron being like “Wow, this base is pretty empty. Oh. There’s bodies. Hm. Lots of bodies. Hey Luke, you didn’t tell us your dad was visiting this week!”
“Sorry, the custody arrangement changed again.”)

2. The Muppet Movie, but it’s the cast of Voltron Legendary Defender
Hunk: “Oh I’m so nervous! If this calculation is off, I’ll never be able to live with myself!”
Coran: “Well then, you’ll have to get another apartment, won’t you?”

3. Abbot and Costello Meet Frankenstein, but the cast is 100% Transformers
Prowl: “You’re making enough noise to wake up the dead!”
Cliffjumper: “Oh I don’t have to wake him up. He’s up.”
Prowl: “Listen: I know there’s no such person as CYLAS. You know there’s no such person as CYLAS.”
Cliffjumper: “But does CYLAS know it?”

Disney Pet Names (literal pets, not sappy nicknames like "boo")
  • Cats: Rajah, Yzma, Lucifer, Figaro, Thomas O'Malley, Sabor, Chesire Cat, Bagheera, Duchess, OIiver, Dinah, Simba, and Sgt. Tibbs
  • Dogs: Tramp, Lady, Bolt, Pongo, Copper, Chief, Perdita, Stitch, Pluto, Nana, Dodger, Max, Percy, Bruno, Slinky, Little Brother, Trusty, Jock, Dug, Scud, Tito, Zero, and Georgette
  • Horses: Maximus, Sitron, Bullseye, Khan, Angus, Achilles, Phillipe, Pegasus, Samspon, and Captain
  • Birds: Iago, Diablo, Zazu, Archimedes, Kevin, Nigel, Flit, Wheexy, and Uncle Waldo
  • Turtles: Crush, Squirt, and Toby
  • Fish: Nemo, Dory, Marlin, Flounder, Cleo, Flotsam/Hetsam, Bruce, and Pudge
  • Snakes: Jafar, Kaa, Sir Hiss, and Juju
  • Frogs: Kermit and Frankie

anonymous asked:

Uncles ziam attending Brooklyn's first ballet recital and being overly supportive. Zayn telling people "That's my godchild over there!" Bonus: if Brooklyn does something goofy on stage and they're like "Was that part of the routine?" And Caroline's like "Nope." And they all laugh fondly because that's so very Brooklyn.

I turned this into a stupid ficlet rather than a lovely drabble, sorry nonnie. Hope you enjoy.

**

The hall that the ballet school’s performing in is old. High arched ceilings, a brick building that stands next to the church that’s been here for centuries.

Liam and Zayn have been here once before, to watch a Christmas show when Brooklyn was 3. 

Back then, the ballet school’s budget didn’t stretch to constructing sets or having anything other than a few smelly old heaters scattered around the hall, the smell of burning had meant they’d had to be turned off and everyone had sat in their winter coats shivering and clapping even more than they would have done normally just to keep warm.

Two years have passed.  Two years in which a cash injection from benefactors who wanted to remain anonymous transformed the ballet school and the hall.

The hall’s warm as toast now.

The school can now do what they planned to do all along and that’s invite children of parents on benefits, who couldn’t normally afford the cost of the lessons, never mind anything else, to be part of the lessons 

They can afford sets which transform any building.  Like this building.  As Liam and Zayn walk through the door, it’s like they’ve walked into a Winter Wonderland, there’s Christmas trees, there’s artificial snow, and then either side of where the seats are in front of the stage, it’s like they’re in an enchanted forest.

There’s snow, okay its artificial, but it still creates the effect, which falls as they walk forward and just as they reach the back row of the seats, there’s a stall with 2 women dishing out steaming hot mugs of mulled wine for the adults and hot chocolate and marshmallows for the children.

It’s not even halfway through December yet, but in Liam it stirs up that feeling of excitement that he always feels this time of year nevertheless.

They accept a mug each and there’s a flicker of recognition on one of the women’s faces and she goes to speak, but then thinks better of it and stays silent.

“Cheers babe,” Zayn presses his mug forward and clinks it into Liam’s as they step away from the stall. 

“Cheers to you too love,”Liam replies then they lift the mugs upwards, not taking their eyes off each other as they each take a sip.

Zayn immediately pulls it away, pulls his face and grumbles, “Tastes more like  Lemsip than bloody wine.”

Liam rolls his eyes, “Well,  give it here, then Mr Grinch and I’ll have yours too, and you can have a hot chocolate with marshmallows just like all the other kids in this place,” he finishes the words with a pinch of Zayn’s cheeks.

Zayn holds up the middle finger of his free hand as his response and he looks like he’s about to say something when they hear their names being called and Liam looks to his left towards the seats, and she’s there waving and then she’s not alone, she’s  got a lady stood next to her, about the same height as Caroline. 

Liam and Zayn glance at each other, shrug and Zayn continues to mumble discontentedly about the mulled wine as they walk towards Caroline and whoever the lady with her is.

Caroline and the woman meet them halfway just as Liam drains the contents of his own mug and places it on the tray of one of the caterers as they walk past.

Liam puts his hand out,  ready to shake the woman’s hand when Caroline takes hold of it instead and then jerks her thumb in the direction of the fire exit in the corner of the hall.

Zayn follows behind as Caroline drags Liam towards the fire exit and the woman falls into step with Caroline and Liam.

They reach the door and Liam expects Caroline to open it, but instead she drops her hand from Liam’s and then places it on the woman’s arm.

“Sorry for the dramatics boys, but Helen here has always wondered who her anonymous benefactors are, and I know we can trust her to keep it quiet, if you two want it to remain quiet that is.”

Helen blinks, her mouth falls open before she regains some composure long enough to say.

“You are joking, right?”

Liam and Zayn shake their heads in unison before Liam explains.

“We were sat over there in the corner for the Christmas 2016 show and Brooklyn was one of the Christmas angels, except she was an angel in a duffel coat, like all the other angels cause it was freezing, and we almost froze our peanuts off.”

Zayn picks up the story then, “Yeah, and we were driving home and had the heat on full blast and Caroline was saying that never mind, no heating, there’d be no ballet school come next Christmas if they didn’t have a miracle.”

“And you were our miracle,” Helen finishes with a watery smile,  “I don’t know what to say.”

She looks between Liam, Zayn and Caroline, who puts her hand on Helen’s forearm and then Helen takes a breath.

“I’d love to thank you publicly, and well, I know it easier for you now, and well no time like the pre-.”

Zayn shakes his head, glancing at Liam as he does who gives  a brief nod of agreement, before he says. 

“Caroline told us you told the kids that it was a present from Father Christmas, and well you can’t go back on that, let them believe that, let them believe in that till they get bored of ballet or are too old to care and are just so in love with doing  it that all they’ll be is grateful they were here, and we’ll be the coolest secret Father Christmasses the world’s seen for as long as you need.”

Caroline snorts out a laugh, “That was such a lovely speech Malik, and then you messed it up with coolest anything.”

Zayn narrows his eyes, then shrugs and says, “True.”  

Right at the same moment Liam does. 

Caroline opens her mouth, likely to complain about how predictable they are when a bell rings and Helen claps her hands together.

“That’s my cue, or the kids’ cue anyway,” she  glances between the three of them and then takes a step forward closer to Liam and Zayn and she tentatively places a hand on their arms 

“You probably think you know how much this means, but you don’t, you never will and now I’ll just have to make sure that I listen 120 more times than I normally would to your music, but even then that would never be enou  gh, please come and see us anytime.”

Liam smiles, places his hand on top of the one that’s resting on his arm and says.

“We will.”

She manages half a smile, the tears threatening again, and then she’s gone. 

They watch after as she disappears and then Caroline clears her throat and they turn to her, before she starts to walk in the direction of their seats, before she turns briefly.

“She’s right, you know, you two, you’re not that bad for a pair of soppy losers in love you know.”

Zayn and Liam grin at her, smug expressions threatening to break their faces.

“She loves us Liam.”

“She does Zed, she can’t help it.” 

As they reach the seats, she sweeps her hand in a  gesture that says,”After you,” and they feel the gentle nudge of a knee against their arses as they find their seats.

“Just be grateful it’s not a slap round the chops you cheeky sods, never too old for an arse kicking.”

They sit down then,  glance at each other, the three of them smiling before the sound of sleigh bells fills the air.

“Break a leg Brooklyn,” murmurs Zayn as the lights dim, and the spotlight finds the stage.

Keep reading

Yoda meets his fellow Muppets on the set of “The Empire Strikes Back”. I love the look on Yoda’s face here.

“That was like, a real leap. Because if that puppet had not worked, the whole film would have been down the tubes. It just would have been a disaster if it had been this silly little Muppet… if it had been Kermit running around in that movie, the whole movie would have collapsed under the weight of it.” (George Lucas)

question: do you think thomas and martha wayne ever offered to make a huge donation to pbs or the children’s television workshop in exchange for bruce being able to meet some muppets. has bruce wayne been to sesame street. somewhere in wayne manor are there pictures of bruce wayne hugging big bird and snuffie. does bruce wayne still secretly consider kermit a close personal friend.

4

Everyone makes a lot of Miss Piggy’s reaction to her and Kermit’s first meeting in The Muppet Movie and for good reason. She gets a sparkle in her eye that is traditional around him from then on. She imagines a future with him via Never Before, Never Again. But I think people forget Kermit’s reaction. 

When the group find Miss Piggy getting crowned winner of the beauty pageant, Fozzie and Gonzo get distracted but Kermit’s gaze never breaks from Piggy. Even when Fozzie tries to get his attention. One of the reasons Piggy saw him across the crowd at all is because their eyes connected. This wouldn’t have happened if Kermit wasn’t looking interested in her. So, according to the “sort of approximate” story, he has been interested since the beginning. 

a bunch of people suggested I draw myself as a ragdoll but my hair is too feathery and floofy for string or felt

so yeah I’m like a muppet plushy or something, moppet, modpet, whatever

no mouth because I let my drawings do the talking :P