meet-us

Divided

This is a direct sequel to Unexpected Guest.

Thanks to @mccoymostly for planting the little plot bunny in my head and being my idea bouncer and beta. If everyone likes this and wants me to continue, there will probably be two more chapters.

2,685 word(s) of - fluff, fun and set up

No warnings  -  Leonard x Reader


You shimmered onto the transporter pad of the Enterprise, sighing deeply as you stared at the grey walls now surrounding you. You were standing in the front yard of your house just seconds before, with the warm breeze in your hair and the sun on your face. You loved space and were excited to be back, deep down, but it was always hard to leave your home and the blue skies behind.

You made your way down the familiar halls to your quarters, keying in the code to get into your room. The doors swished open quietly as you stepped inside the room. “Ahhh my home away from home.” You spoke quietly into the empty room, as you took your bags to your bedroom and dropped them inside the door, vowing to get to them later.

Keep reading

Book Rec

Earlier than my usual Friday Book Recs, but I’m so excited about this one I couldn’t wait.

A month or so ago I preordered Sarah Gailey’s River of Teeth, because I’m a sucker for killer-animal stories and the history behind the book is *fantastic*–  did you know the government once wanted to breed hippos in the American South for meat?

So today it showed up on my Kindle, and I started reading.

First few pages, m/m implied sex scene.  Me–  “That’s… not what I usually see in these books. Huh. Cool.”

A little further in–  sexy, fat con artist whose weight is not used as a punch line!  “Curiouser and curiouser…”  <3

Then we meet Hero, who uses they/them pronouns, and it was at this point I turned into a full-on ball of squee and glitter.  

((btw, the “this is diverse and that is Not Cool my poor sensibilities noooo” reviews have already started, so if you give this a read be sure to leave a review on Goodreads/Amazon!))

I’m less than halfway through–  we have just been introduced to a deadly Very Pregnant assassin– and I’ve had a huge grin on my face the entire time.  100% recommended.

anonymous asked:

i have a crush on my best friend + i think she miight like me back but idk, we cant talk abt it bc her emotionally abusive mother monitors her messages + wont let us meet in person! i have to wait until we meet in person to talk abt Any lgbt stuff.. i also have ptsd/avpd/dpd so that makes everything Hell. like i just,, love her so much but what if she hates me for it? idk what i'd do.. im SO scared of being all alone again. i wish i wasnt so mentally ill... it makes even good things hurt :(

because of how controlling her mother is and from what youre telling me about your mental health, it probably isnt the best to pursue her romantically. even if she did like you back, you two would never be able to talk about it in person or on the phone. and if she doesn’t like you back, i’m afraid you have too much to lose (her friendship)

of course, this is only my suggestion but i highly highly recommend not saying anything to her when there’re so many things that can go bad. i wish you the best of luck.

you guys wanna know something great? this time next week me and my 3 dearest friends from england, france and spain are going to amsterdam and we’re seeing little mix and we’re going on rollercoasters and we’re going to drink and love being in each other’s company and then me and daisy are going to stockholm and then to oslo and then elsa is meeting us in bergen for bergenfest where we’re seeing norwegian queen gabrielle and also zara larsson and karpe diem and then im going back to amsterdam to see my trash babies the 1975 with my friend and THEN to end the absolute iconic 3 weeks im seeing absolute legend and queen celene dion with my mum

I need to scour my computer files to find an old short story I wrote when I graduated high school called The Bureaucracy which was a not so thinly veiled jab at society where a high school graduate who doesn’t want to immediately go to college is legally forced to work as a temp at a business that manufactures all Hotel Shampoo tiny bottles and compete against Motel Shampoo tiny bottles and when in a business meeting he suggests using less grime in the shampoo ingredient he gets fired and his parents tell him he’s on his own now and to use that high school degree so he spends the rest of his life on the streets getting tips for drawing advanced pre-AP algebra equations in sidewalk chalk

FINALLY SOME DOODLE!! ✐👌

Back again with my beloved #Gency Cuz tumblr needs more fanart of them! ♥ ♥ ♥

Im really sorry for the lack of posts, I’ve been having a lot of trouble with my computer, hopefully soon things will get in shape.

And just to announce already, this is how me and @demondex are going to show up at London ComicCon next year, so if you’re going in 2018, you might meet us up there! :D

2

“A) We met at a high school football game, and Zac introduced us, he’d been wanting us to meet. But she was like, y’know she’s a trendsetter, right? She’s very fashionable, we love the way she looks, we love it! But, at the time she was doing DIY stuff. […] She took fishnet pantyhose and had it draped around her. […] That’s maybe not that weird now, but in our little Christian private school realm, I was really confused. But, she was awesome.” - Taylor York on meeting Hayley Williams 15 years ago.

An Unconventional Alignment

Context: The Lost Mines of Phandelver Starter Set, just after the Sleeping Giant tap house battle with the Redbrand Ruffians.  Playing D&D with my little brother and father.  My dad’s character’s alignment is Lawful Good.

Dad: “I decapitate the two dead ruffians, tie their hair together, and drag the living one in front of the Redbrand hideout.  I throw the heads into the burned-out ruins of the manor and bellow, ‘This is what happens when you mess with adventurers!  If you want the same fate, meet us as The Stonehill Inn!’  And I thrust my greatsword through the captive ruffian’s back, and it explodes out the other side of him.“ 

Me, the DM: "What is your moral alignment again?" 

Dad: "My alignment is Fucking Pissed!”

So we were starting a new campaign, and my DM had a terrible experience previously in which the characters never properly met up in-game, so he wanted to make sure this time that all of us ended up in the right place together. Before we started the game he had texted one of the players to tell her there was a secret passage out of her jail cell leading to the place where she (a halfling rogue) could meet up with us. But her phone was acting weird so she didn’t get the text, so when it came time for her to escape, he expected her to know what to do, and she didn’t.
DM: So they’re waiting for you on the other side. The guard is heading for your cell.
Rogue: Uh…I should probably leave now.
DM: *kicking her under the table* Yeah. So. The guard is coming. How are you gonna do that?
Rogue: Can I show him my tits?
DM: What? Why?
Rogue: I flash the guard.
DM: ??? Okay fine, roll persuasion.
Rogue: *rolls a nat 20*
DM: …he is so enchanted by your marvelous tits that he escorts you out of jail and leads you to the rest of the party.

Do you, too, wish running away and living in a museum for a while was still a thing you could do? (Do you, like me, wonder what the heck Chock Full o’Nuts was? And why coffee needed to be full o’Nuts?)

Smithsonian magazine just put out a lovely piece exploring E.L. Konigsburg’s children’s classic, which turns 50 this year. They talked to Konigsburg’s children, Laurie (the model for Claudia) and Paul:

“Mom took art lessons in [the city] on Saturdays, so she would drop all three of us kids off at the Metropolitan,” says Paul. “I was the oldest, so I was in charge, and I had three rules: One, we had to see the mummy. Two, we had to see the knights in armor. And three, I didn’t care what we saw. Mom would meet up with us in the museum, take us to study Impressionist or Modern art. It always made me want to puke, but we did it every weekend for over a year.”

The whole piece is here. Now, who’s for nouilles et fromage en casserole?

– Petra

What’s wrong with me?– Jeff Atkins x Reader

Request: Can I request a Jeff imagine me where he’s been asking you out for a while now and you always turn him down? So one day you hear him talking to clay about how it’s actually starting to hurt him a bit cuz what’s wrong wit him? And his jock buddies give him shit and tease him about which upsets him so you shock all of them by going up and kissing him which leads to a hot makeout and ask him on a date.

Words: 2703

Enjoy it!

Reader’s point of view.

Your name: submit What is this?

I smiled looking at myself through the rearview mirror. I loved when my mom had the day off, that meant I could get the car to school, save me the monotonous and disgusting bus rides. It isn’t as if my mother went out to have fun, her days off from work, she is doing yoga in front of the TV, it wasn’t too much that the “coach” was too attractive. I shivered and concentrated on the road, until that point I was already entering the Liberty High parking lot. The disadvantage of bringing the car is that I mistrusted and was late, something that wouldn’t happen if I were traveling in the yellow device. Now finding a parking lot would be a challenge.

After a full turn, I finally find a decent place, not so far but not so close to the door, perfect. Before maneuvering to enter that space, a car closed the way and got into MY place. I stepped on the brakes and glared at the bold.  I knew the car perfectly. Instead of staying there, I found another place to two cars away, from that to stay grumbling. Yes, I was too lucky.

“Are you serious, Atkins?” I raised my voice after getting out of the car and hanging my backpack over my shoulder.

Jeff was walking toward me with a big smile and fiddling with the keys of his carriage. Asshole.

“This becomes a danger zone every morning, Y/L, you would know if you brought your car every day”

“Funny”

I started to walk with him to my side. We were in the same course, connected in our first year, we were good friends, maybe I could even consider him my best friend, it’s not like I had many in high school. Most were either useless sportsmen, or just people who weren’t worth it.  He was taking me with a few, especially since Jeff was very close to them, almost entering his social circle. They were not bad guys, but somewhat immature for my taste. Sometimes they made me laugh.

“So I heard that this new movie will be on Saturday … Let’s go together?”

Yeah, we were good friends though Jeff was determined to change that. My friend was attractive, too much to admit, but my mind was somewhere else to focus on a boyfriend. In addition, our friendly relationship worked perfectly, we sometimes studied together, I was going to see him at his baseball games, and I even stayed after school with him and Clay for his tutorials. I could come and go as often as i wanted and he did that too. We were perfectly fine, why did we need a label? What if “being dating” didn’t work? All those years of friendship would go away. Just to think about my last months in this institute without the company of my best friend, to be avoiding it by the corridors and to meet us in uncomfortable looks, left me the sensation to be without air. No, I wouldn’t let him lose it for a silly etiquette.

“How on a date?” I remembered that I hadn’t answered him.

I turned to look at him and he smiled in embarrassment. Jeff Atkins was never embarrassed. He was the most honest and funny guy on the whole site. If I didn’t know Clay Jensen, I would sign with blood that Jeff was the only one. Everyone else behaved more like idiots.

“Yes?” His answer sounded more like a question. Well, he left the decision to me again.

I sighed and settled the backpack as a reflex act.

“You did a good swing, Atkins, but I’m sorry to say you got a strike”

He raised his eyebrows and I smiled, wanting to erase the rejection I had given him. It hadn’t been the first, but sometimes I felt like the bad in this relationship. Our “dates” were reduced to exits between friends, and that was because I was in charge of enlisting Sheri with us and him, usually Clay. At one time, we invited Hannah, but lately she was walking in her own world, feeling the tension only to approach her. Too bad, it turned out to be a really fun girl.

I increased my pace. We didn’t have to stay together in the hall, our first period was different, while he was killing himself in history, I had to endure the headache of algebra. I also needed help but no one threatened to get me out of a team simply because I didn’t belong to any. That was how it was.

“Are you serious?” The good thing about my best friend is that he took rejections with grace. “You are very rude to me, Y/N!”

“I see you at rest!” I shouted at him in response and unconsciously stepped up. I never let him see guilt in me after an Olympic rejection.

At lunchtime, we took our usual table; Clay kept his eyes on his task that ignored our mini meal fight between Jeff and me. He made me eat one of his fries, but they were too greasy for my liking. Thanks to that, we didn’t go unnoticed, neither by his companions as for the rest of the school. Suddenly, I noticed how his teammates were passing by and said things to Jeff that I couldn’t grasp, used as keys that I didn’t understand. I looked at Jeff who looked down for a few seconds before turning to see me and smiling as if nothing.

“What was that?”

“It’s nothing.” He grabbed his backpack and stood up. “See you after school, Jensen?”

For the first time, Clay looked up and nodded. Jeff said goodbye to both of us and left in the opposite direction to his companions, I frowned even confused; it was incredible how my friend’s mood changed in a few seconds. I bit my lip and pushed aside my tray of food, strangely I was without appetite.

“What’s wrong with Jeff?” I asked. Clay knew him as well as I did.

The boy shrugged and looked in the direction where our friend had disappeared. I said goodbye to Clay, especially since I had just seen Hannah Baker enter the cafeteria. Jeff and I had a plan, before we graduated, we had to get these two to have something. They were too shy to approach the one and the other that we decided to intervene, rather I joined the cause, because it was a kind of deal between the two men. However, it was difficult, I was going to take care of Hannah, but she was very distant, I couldn’t approach. I sighed and left the cafeteria. I’d waste my time in the locker.

I doubted if it would be a good idea to interfere with the tutoring hours of my friends, I don’t know what was different now, if I always did, but my best friend’s behavior was too strange after the cafeteria. It made me panic to approach him. Among my doubts, I ended up in the school library, if I wandered around maybe in the end would encourage me to approach your table. I ended up on one of the closest shelves, Jeff and Clay seemed to be talking about something that didn’t look like tutorials since neither of them looked at their respective books. I went a little closer, covering my face with a book chosen at random. I pretended to read it.

“Jeff Atkins, asking me for advice on relationships?” I listened to Clay with humor. “The deal was supposed to be that you would help me with it, not the other way around.” I lowered the book a little to notice my best friend with his eyes on Pencil playing between his fingers. I went back to cover “I was paying my salary in the Cresmont that you would never go through this”

I bit my lip, afraid to know now what they were talking about, or rather … of whom. I repressed the book down again.

“I don’t know what else to do, dude.” Jeff’s voice broke my heart, but why? “She’s not like the other girls I’ve dated, it’s a challenge, but not that kind of challenge.” I started to consider whether it was a good idea to stay or not to listen, but my feet were stuck.

“Don’t stop trying” Clay encouraged.

“I don’t do it. I invite her to go out and it is always the same result: No. “I fear that someday she will get tired and send me to the devil”

My blood ran cold. They had not yet pronounced my name but knew perfectly well that they were talking about me. My hands began to tremble.

“I don’t think so. You two make a good team. It’s hard to see a Jeff without Y/N, or a Y/N without a Jeff” I glanced over and watched my friend smile. I did too. It was true; we could complement us in an incredible way.

I watched Jeff’s profile, again thinking away from his friendship, made me feel short of breath. I couldn’t imagine my life without having met him; he managed to understand me, my problems, my follies and occasionally my pessimism. The random memory hit me on a Saturday that taught me to hit, I could feel his body on my back and his arms around mine, even his hands on mine to help me hold the bat well. It had felt good, I didn’t have the imperative need to get away like when Bryce Walker tried to get too close to me. That guy gave me a very bad spine. Instead, with Jeff, I sometimes needed to have him close to feel that I breathe well, that everything is going its natural course. There was no Y/N Y/L without a Jeff Atkins, it couldn’t, and there was no consistency. It was like going against nature. My heart sped up and I hid my face again between the pages.

“Clay. What is wrong with me?” I had a gasp, only a few verbal rejects, at no time I distanced myself from him, after my negatives we were as normal as ever. Nothing had changed. I had the need to jump and give him a zap, Nothing was wrong with you, Atkins, you’re amazing, the best guy I’ve ever met! But I stood still with the lump in my throat.

“Nothing, dude. Let’s go back to your history essay, you need to distract your mind”

I listened as he agreed to the idea and I moved from shelf to the place where they didn’t see me. I put my hand to my chest and inhaled deep breaths. Why did i feel like crying? Maybe because Jeff didn’t notice the way I did, what could be wrong with him? He was a committed boy, especially now that his position in the team depended on his qualifications, attentive, pleasant, he isn’t of those who believed in rumors … and above all, he was an excellent friend of Clay and mine. How could there be anything wrong with that? Why cann’t you see yourself as I see you? I bit my lip.

“I saw you” Jessica came out of nowhere and gave me the shock of my life. She started laughing “Spying on people’s conversations? That’s too much for you”

I rolled my eyes.

"I guess I couldn’t help it,” I murmured.

“I heard them, too. I’ve never seen Jeff that way; he always has a smile on his face."I nodded to the cheerleader’s words. Suddenly, she started to laugh "Don’t you realize, Y/N?” I looked at her strangely “He’s in love with you! The whole institute knows this, obviously everyone, except you”

“We are good friends”

“So? That doesn’t take away the feelings, the question here is, Are you in love with him? ”

I was silent, I opened my mouth to answer her but I couldn’t, Why couldn’t I? I should deny it, but why didn’t i? Jessica Davis smiled.

“Do I confess something?” I waited quietly. “The way you look at Jeff, is the same way I look at Justin. Think about it. "She winked at me before leaving.

If my best friend’s words had left me frozen, Jessica’s words hit me. I looked over my shoulder toward the boys’ table, was I in love with my best friend? As I would know, I had never fallen in love with anyone in my life.

I ran as if my life depended on it to the baseball field, simply because my friend’s fool had forgotten his bat in the car and I as a good person i was, and because I knew the combination of his locker to get the keys, I did him the favor. Anyway, at home I was expecting some of those Mom’s smooth naturist, I wasn’t very excited to return soon. Before giving me sight in front of the team, I heard the boys howling and booing. I stopped and looked out, Jeff was in front of them, pretending to have difficulty raising the zipper of his sweatshirt. As I perceived quickly, they were making fun of him.

"Give it up at once, Atkins.” One of them said. I frowned. “You’re losing your good reputation for just one girl”

Not again, please. I pressed the bat in my hands.

“Let go and pass her, I assure you that I get an appointment with her long before you,” another of his classmates boasted. I was getting angry.

How could it be that they messed with him for some nonsense? I was nothing special, why did they all talk as if I were some sort of trophy? I looked at Jeff, he was still focused on his feigned task, but the gesture on his lips told me that he was having a bad time, so I got sick, it couldn’t be that my fear of losing him by spoiling everything with a label, So much harm to him. My eyes filled with tears, but I didn’t cry, instead, I smiled and walked resolutely towards them.

“Eh!” Shouted one of them with joy.

I didn’t look at any of them, my eyes were on my best friend’s, wanting to pretend he was more than okay. I didn’t stop until I felt my lips against his. I dropped the bat to our side and wrapped my fingers in his hair pulling him closer to me. His response, in the first place, was that his mouth was sealed by surprise, when he caught what was happening, he joined the same rhythm as me, bringing his hands to my waist. I didn’t part until the shouts of joy of his companions became present.

“Damn!” I recognized the voice of the one who at the beginning bet that I would go out with him.

I looked into Jeff’s eyes and smiled broadly. This kiss, which at first wanted to taste something, simply felt good. I began to feel that I was complete, even though I thought I had been before.

“I thought better, why wait until Saturday? Let’s have a date now.” My best friend’s eyes shone, I felt an extreme happiness inside, not for him, for me. “Oh, better, did you tell me that your parents are not going to be home all day? How about a bit of Netflix and chill? ”

His friends laughed, he too, but a little more shy.

“Come on.” He took my hand firmly.

“Boys” I gave a single glance at their companions, they began to cheer and push, like vile apes.

I laughed and looked back. When we lost sight of the team, Jeff stopped and looked at me even in shock.

“You were serious?”

“About the kiss or Netflix and chill?” I couldn’t stop smiling.

“Both of them”

“Now I know that I’m sure of the kiss” I bit my lip “Of the other, of course I was serious, a little more seriously in the chill part”

Jeff’s smile was the biggest i had ever seen. My heart skipped a beat.

“Then I drive. Later we’ll get back for your car”

anonymous asked:

Not su critical, but I wish there was less human episodes and plot's loose ends weren't left forgotten for literal ages. I just, idk, feel like crewniverse wants us like lars or ronaldo too much

i mean, by definition it’s not forgotten if it’s brought up again. the show is just very long-term and demands you have a lot of patience sometimes (which makes it satisfying when it happens, but it can also be frustrating before that).

on the subject of humans: i’m not always super invested, but there’s always a rewarding or clever element. i like connie, kiki and sadie a lot. greg’s alright. the cool kids too. while onion’s not my favorite, his episodes tend to be solid and gives us interesting steven-characterization (onion gang was quite nice, they finally made me emotional about both onion and steven’s loneliness).

i have a buddy who loves lars with all his heart - i know he’s not the most popular character, but i like him alright, too. he’s the kind of teenager who can be a jerk without being a one-note bully. there’s a good post going around about you kinda need to see the humans to feel the payoff of them (spoilers) seemingly getting kidnapped in this next bomb, which will be another interesting mix of the human and magical elements of the show.  

Originally posted by cartoonfan98

the “slice of life” elements also has another important function, which i think is vitally important - in fantasy / sci-fi stories, there’s a lot of Othering. by which i mean, strictly good vs evil escapism where a lot of the time, the enemy is so inhuman they might as well be a natural disaster, not a person. good and evil is often decided by which magical species or alien race you belong to, not who you are as a person. 

slice of life is the complete opposite - you have your jerks, but they’re still human. those stories rarely end with anyone being murdered for their crimes and this being portrayed as a “victory”. it’s pretty common that while the main character’s perspective expands, we get to know even those characters who we assumed were just cruel or bullies. everyone has some struggle going on, and the punishments for their crimes are not that they’re irredeemable or die. rather, they’re allowed to actually develop and/or have nuances to them.

Originally posted by relatablelarsquotes

both sci-fi and fantasy also have an expectation of war in recent years - there’s the expectation of constant high stakes and people getting killed. the plot is expected to constantly be the focus - we need to find the Thing to fight the Dark Side. we need to get to Place before Evil gets there first. the Chosen One needs to collect all five Orbs, four of which symbolize the four friends, and the fifth one will awaken her own power. the Enemy needs to be Stopped, their reasons are (usually) irrelevant.

on the other side, slice of life is very personal: everything is character-driven, and their motivations is the main reason to watch it. i saw a lot of surprise that “yuri on ice” didn’t have a traditional villain - my response was basically “…well, yeah, it’s slice of life”. that’s kinda how it usually works. especially in anime - you may not get to know every character equally well, and some will be deeply flawed, but no one is sorted into a box labelled “inhuman” or “evil”. 

so what’s my point? well, steven universe continuously trains its audience to see slice-of-life elements in the ~magical space conflict. it tells you to see the characters through a ‘human’ lens, even the characters who aren’t human. part of how it does this is by adding surprising amounts of empathy and human solutions - not just to the beach city problems, but to the gem problems as well. 

the first time we see two diamonds together - the Intergalactic Tyrants™ who most fanart depict as the final boss overlords all the “less-awful” characters will unite against in a Final Battle? oh, they’re grieving the loss of their fellow diamond. blue diamond is crying. their pearls are there, standing as a reminder of the hierarchy they champion, but neither element ruins the other - they can be sympathetic and deeply flawed at the same time. when it’s towards the people they care about, they even seem well-intentioned. yellow diamond chastises blue for not being a good leader to her people.

Originally posted by gemsingifs

part of the reason this seems natural is because the show has portrayed its human characters as flawed, not as a faceless mass of “good people” who must be saved from the evil alien race. so it makes sense it would work the other way around too - everyone’s got their own stuff to deal with, and everyone makes (sometimes massive) mistakes. 

we’re expected to see both gems and humans as people. part of this is because of the human side of steven’s upbringing - the old crystal gems are used to meeting allies and enemies, steven is mostly used to meeting people, even if he (like everyone) has his own biases between them, or thinks some of them are “mean”.

despite some people’s consistent insistence that any jerk we’re introduced to is just a villain, that’s it, end of story, steven universe continues to challenge those assumptions. time and time again. that’s part of why it’s so vital (to me) that no one are just killed off or bubbled forever, because the show has laid the groundwork that every life is unique, and suffering is never a good thing. 

it can be a trade-off, like how we’re exploring rose’s shattering of pink diamond, and yknow, there WAS a war in the style of sci-fi/fantasy, but the show is critical of that solution. pink’s shattering did not, in fact, end the conflict - her death left countless gems leaderless, mourning and FAR from ‘liberated’ (in fact, many of them hate the crystal gems), and earth was still under the slow threat of the cluster… and how was that cluster solved again? not by force, but by talking to a hostile and vicious little green alien. then getting her help to reach the huge, suffering eldritch abomination in the center of the earth… which was also stopped by communication, not by force.

Originally posted by kathon

the human side of the show helps steven cope with gem life, make connections that are important to him, develop his character and fuel his desire to help.

i know some will insist these are unrelated, but i think without steven’s human side, he would really “just” be another crystal gem. an empathetic one, who is curious about people, but not on this level. not one who opposes the idea of not just shattering, but wants to find a way to connect with everyone (as he is like no one and everyone), and has the kind of boundless optimism where he refuses to accept that this is just “the way things are”, or that suffering is ever necessary. everything is always changing on earth, and because of that, steven wants to believe everything can always change. 

So, I was thinking about selfies, and how people (including myself oftentimes, I admit) view them as narcissistic.  I remembered that my degree is in anthropology.  Which is literally an academic field created by humans to study humans.  To study ourselves.  There are textbooks.  There are conferences.  You can study this, get a degree in this.  We have it down to a literal science.  

I can imagine aliens meeting us, then pointing out “You have tenured human professors teaching other humans about humans, and you think that taking photographs is self-involved?!” 

10 AUs

1. “We have the same favorite book, and we always check it out from the library. We’ve never met, but the librarians are starting to ship us, and are coming up with ridiculous excuses for us to meet.”

2. “My dog absolutely adores you, and you absolutely adore my dog. Whenever we see each other, the two of you play for a good half-hour, at least. That’s great and all, but what’s your name?”

3. “I was planning on proposing to the person I was dating, but then, I found out they were cheating on me. They don’t know I know, and you suggest I go ahead and go through with it, with a slight twist: I propose to YOU, instead.”

4. “We’re both shopping for the same obscure item. This is the fifth store I’ve seen you at… Want to join forces?”

5. “I’m an actor, and part of my costume is a wedding ring, but I totally forgot I was wearing it. Now you’re yelling at me for flirting with you, and I have no clue how to get a word in edgewise to explain.”

6. “There’s only one bag of my favorite candy left, and you’re about to put it in your cart. Please don’t, seriously. I’ve had an awful week, and I need my candy fix.”

7. “I’ve never actually met the person my sibling is going to marry, but you’re always there at the wedding planning, so I just assumed it was you. But now you’re asking me out? And you’re actually the future spouse’s best friend? Oh, wow, I was not expecting that.”

8. “If you hug me, I will stab you-Oh, my gosh. You aren’t my best friend, you’re a stranger, and you look slightly terrified of me now. Please don’t call the police, I’m not actually going to stab anyone.”

9. “I passed out in a public place, and you sat with me for several hours to make sure no one harassed me? That is both sweet and strange.”

10. “We’re neighbors, and you always hear me screaming about my cooking disasters, and swoop in to save me. I probably should start paying you, honestly.”

I was doing you a favor by playing the long game...

I too was playing yet another long game by holding on to this for so long.

SO I had read earlier today the owner of a previous job of mine passed away. This was a place that tried to screw me pretty hard and I took some pro revenge on. It drug up some angry old feelings, so why not take an equal dose of catharsis?

WARNING: This is a doozy so strap in if you dare, no TL;DR it wouldn’t do justice.

So this takes place almost a decade ago. I was working as a department manager for a fairly large privately owned pest control company. Their color scheme was black and yellow, much like the taxi’s the owner’s dad used to drive. Since the taxi industry would be around for ever(hello Uber/Lyft) so would this pest control company, (this is important later) or so the owner used to parrot constantly. My job was to over see the techs doing treatments and set their stops and generally manage assorted insect control services, inventory, payroll for that dept, etc etc. I had taken the job from the owners son who took it from the previous manager who they demoted and yet stayed in the dept…this is important later. The owners son was a late 30’s early 40’s man child. I mean if he had dialed it back a few degrees he would have been an awesome guy, but anytime booze was involved he was a mess. If it was weed, he turned into the stereo typical obnoxious stoner making nothing but bad Jamaican accented jokes. He also hit on anything younger than him that moved…while being married w a pregnant wife. But I digress, the owner was a piece of work too, old Jewish guy who was as racist as he was old, not with any kind of seething hatred. Just a “this is the way it is” type attitude. My fave line of his, “The sky is blue, Ch#@ks know math, N@&ers are lazy, Jews know gold. What else is new” Like it was the most clever thing of all time. Finally now on to the revenge and need for such.

Keep reading