meet the kettles

3

The funniest thing ever is cis gay men on tumblr who are all into the whole “it’s not transphobic for not wanting to date trans men” nonsense reblog posts making fun of terfs like, pot meet kettle

Daisy: You’ve got me all shook up.

Robbie: I’ve got the hots for you.

Mack, leaning over towards Elena: I love them but they have got to stop with those cheesy pick up lines.

Elena: When I got home last night you asked me if my feet hurt because I was running through your mind all day.

Fitz: Pot, meet kettle.

Jemma: Shall I read this text you sent me earlier about us having chemistry?

I’m not giving Memorial Day any props for calling Mark out how he shunned Dominique when she took part in mistreating her. Pot meet kettle. She can still choke.

anonymous asked:

Hello I got cheated on (tmi I guess but idgaf) and am having the worst time™ so I was wondering if you could in any way at all write some headcanons or like anything to take my mind off of it? I love absolutely everything you write. If you don’t want to that’s fine lmao, I still love you and your account haha. They can be about literally anything at all, cutesy, smutty, literally anything. I just went through all of your headcanons and I’m in dire need of more :(((

“Do you have any happy stenbrough hcs? I’m in a sad mood rn.” - for this anon, too. i think the three of us need some fluffy stuff to cheer us up, ey

(that fucker didnt deserve you. i love you)

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“A Soul for a Soul: a new hope”

Arrow Season 5 spec fic

Word count: 1414

gif source

Rating: Teen

Summary: Based on the new info released for episode 5x16, this fic involves what Helix may ask Felicity to do, and why she’s willing to do it. It also involves who I think may be responsible for leaking the cover up of Malone’s death, and it’s not who most think.

A Soul for a Soul: a new hope


“How did we get here?”

His words are loud and abrasive…meant to intimidate her, but the vacuumed silence that follows is so much more deafening.

She can hear his feet shuffle against the floor, perhaps taking a step closer. She doesn’t know. Her eyes have been closed for a while now, blocking the outside world. She’s not ready to open them and see the look of disdain on his face. By now the rest of the team has filled him in on what she did to stop the impeachment hearings, to clear his name.

The answer to his question is simple, but one she’s not sure he’s ready or willing to hear.

A deflated sigh breaks the silence before he asks her again, this time more softly, his voice desperate and laced with confusion.

“Felicity…how did we get here?”

Now that question is different. She’s not sure if she could ever fit the pieces back together and make sense of how things had unraveled so much. Their story is a complicated one.

Another minute passes before she turns her head, her cheek rubbing against the starchy fabric. She opens her eyes and the world is sideways. She sees him several feet away, his hands clinging to the metal bars separating the two of them.

She’s surprised to see fear and concern in his eyes…and sadness. But no disgust or loathing.

Sitting up slowly from the cot, she adjusts her glasses on her nose. Her following joke falls flat.

“Well, you know me. I binge watched every season of ‘Orange is the New Black’. Thought hey, let’s see what all the fuss is about.”

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  • Damon: You’ve got me all shook up.
  • Elena: I’ve got the hots for you.
  • Stefan: I love them but they have got to stop with those cheesy pick up lines.
  • Caroline: When I got home last night you asked me if my feet hurt because I was running through your mind all day.
  • Enzo: Pot, meet kettle.
  • Bonnie: Shall I read this text you sent me earlier about us having chemistry?

anonymous asked:

It’s all HEAD-canon for you, which is FINE… but it’s BASEless. = Pot meet Kettle

Damn it, I think you’re right anon! It’s all in my head. I must have imagined all that fairy tale imagery, all those classic romantic tropes… All of it must have been my own personal head canon…

Originally posted by pixiedustedsupersoldier

Originally posted by psychodelicznapomarancza

….

Originally posted by byrneing

Originally posted by poefinn

Originally posted by leave-me-colourless

Hmm…Definitely no fairy tale imagery here…. NEXT!

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no offense, but i feel like if u do anything less than kiss koogis ass the fandom comes at u with wooden stakes and a bible explaining y ur wrong and its that same pigheaded, extremist behavior these very ppl catch themselves in their feelings about regarding the oh-so annoying antis :/

anonymous asked:

I LOVE your batdictionary series on AOOO. I has promt for you! I would like to see Damian cuddle Jason! They have an odd understanding but I want to see Jason be the only one that can hold Damian after a fight with Dick.

Thank you! ♥ And you hit me in my weak spot, honestly. Especially because I think after Dick, Jason makes the most interesting sibling relationship with Damian. Anyway, here we go, I hope it was what you were looking for!

Read on AO3 if you prefer


Jason likes to think he moved on, that he’s, if not a better person, at least a different one. Less angry, less crazy, more in control of his emotions. It takes nights like this one to truly realize that he actually is better, because it’s on nights like this one that he remembers how it used to feel like. The fire in the stomach and the taste of blood on the lips, trembling hands and gritted teeth, every muscle of his body tensed in anger and itching for a violent release, the need to hurt surpassed only by the need of being hurt.

He hates it.

He hates that one fight with Bruce can still reduce him like this, break him and cut him as if he were still a child caught doing something wrong while knowing that it could cost him everything.

“But the little I have now he couldn’t take it away even if he wanted”, he says to the gargoyle next to him. “So joke’s on him, you know?”

If the gargoyle knows, he doesn’t tell, not to him and not to anyone else. Secrets between friends are important to him, Jason’s learned. It’s one of the reasons he likes this place so much. There are years worth of whispered secrets impressed into the ancient stones, scorch marks of old cigarettes and deep scratches from a lot of different knives, dark shadows that were once either bloodstains or spilled coke. And everything is covered in pigeon shit. It’s sad and hilarious at the same time.

He leans back against the statue, hands crossed behind his head, feet resting against the railing, comfortable enough to close his eyes, uncomfortable enough to not fall asleep and towards a very ridiculous death.

And Gotham’s nights are never silent, or even quiet, but the noise of the streets it’s familiar, if not even welcomed to his ears, like a childhood lullaby. It happens every time he comes back, yet he’s still surprised at how it feels weird to call this city his home and at how it’s even weirder not to call it so. It’s one of those things he’ll probably never understand.

Like he doesn’t understand what tips him off a hour or so later, when he opens his eyes to find himself almost face to face with his littlest brother dangling upside down from one of the gargoyle’s horns, cape fluttering around his head in the night’s breeze and a little smirk on his face.

Jason blinks one, two, three times, and a few heartbeats go by before he reacts.

“You know you’re not a real bat, right? Despite the fact you do look like one”, he says, because if he starts yelling at him then Damian will know that he actually succeeded in startling him, and Jason’s not going to give him that satisfaction on his life.

Beside, he’s kinda impressed by how the kid managed to sneak on him like that.

Damian tries to look down on him but being on the wrong side of the up and down thing, he only manage to glower at him, and it’s not even as threatening as it usually is.

“Father is angry with you”, the kid says, still scowling.

“Get down from there”, Jason retorts. “And tell me what else is new under the sun.”

“It’s night”, Damian points out, because he likes to be irritating like that. “And because of you he’s now crossed with me too.”

“Well, shit”, Jason answers. “Now get down from there.”

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Tripping Over the Blue Line (43/45)

It’s a transition. That’s what Emma’s calling it. She’s transitioning from one team to another, from one coast to another and she’s definitely not worried. Nope. She’s fine. Really. She’s promised Mary Margaret ten times already. So she got fired. Whatever. She’s fine, ready to settle into life with the New York Rangers. She’s got a job to do. And she doesn’t care about Killian Jones, captain of the New York Rangers. At all.

He’s done. One more season and he’s a free agent and he’s out. It’s win or nothing for Killian. He’s going to win a Stanley Cup and then he’s going to stop being the face of the franchise and he’s going to go play for some other garbage team where his name won’t be used as puns in New York Post headlines. That’s the plan. And Emma Swan, director of New York Rangers community relations isn’t going to change that. At all.

They are both horrible liars.


Rating: Mature
Content Warnings: Swearing, eventual hockey-type violence
AN: Welcome back to New York and Game Six and pre-game makeouts. They’re making out again and everyone knows and everyone has opinions and there’s lots of family-type sports feelz on the horizon. I am still just stunned and vaguely overwhelmed by the incredible response to this story. You guys are the best. As always @laurnorder, @distant-rose & @beautiful-swan made this better.
Also hanging out on Ao3, FF.net & tag’ed up on Tumblr


“Sign this,” Emma said, pushing a pair of gloves at him.

Push was generous. She threw them, letting them land in on his legs and he hadn’t even gotten out of bed yet. If he didn’t get out of bed, then he wouldn’t have to actually put words to whatever was happening in the pit of his stomach.

Nerves.

Killian was nervous. Again.

Because they could win. Again. On Garden ice.

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Scandal 703 Review: From a Fitz Fan on Facebook

I downloaded the episode & watched it. I loved how much we got to see Fitz. My love of Tony/Fitz made it not boring to me but I can see how some people would think it was boring(especially if you’re not a Fitz fan). There was a few annoying things.

1. I hate how stupid they write Fitz. I refuse to believe a man who was a navy pilot with a PhD, doesn’t know that you have to call to activate a debit/credit card. One, he knows how to read. Two, he was an adult before he became president and or governor so y’all can miss me with that bullshit.

2. I REFUSE to believe that Fitz is “so out of touch” with racism & racial issues in this world considering his work on The Brandon Bill, his relationship with Olivia, & his work with Marcus. Now I know you can be white, sleep with black, & still be racist trash BUT THAT IS NOT FITZ. Fitz is the man who called out Olivia for her Sally Hemings/Thomas Jefferson comment in season 2. Fitz is aware of their differences & have done & acted accordingly as a man who loves an African-American woman.

3. Marcus TRIED ALL OF IT. His comments about Fitz turning Olivia into a homewrecking black ho were laughable at best considering that technically, Marcus himself would be considered the same because he was fucking with a married white woman who ended up dead & fucked up his whole career when he was running for mayor. Pot, meet kettle. Marcus pour us all a cup cause the tea is piping hot.

4. Also all this gassing Olivia up needs to come to a COMPLETE STOP. She made Fitz they say. I say LIE AGAIN! OLIVIA CAROLYN POPE HAS NEVER WON ANY OF THE PRESIDENTIAL CAMPAIGNS SHE HAS RUN. Fitz lost his first election so they rigged that. His second term was a sympathy term since his son died on national TV. Mellie, didn’t win! Vargas did. They literally went all around the riverbend to make Mellie a President when no one elected you, sis. I digress tho. The point is, they gassing Olivia up like her whole career hasn’t been making people in “power” feel like they need her cause she hasn’t won any of the BIG ones yet.

5. Fitz & Marcus fight wasn’t expected. Fitz was right in his assessment of Marcus. He could be doing more & doing activism but he wants a seat at the table. I feel like Marcus is a big contradiction because in one breath he calls Olivia out her name but has done the exact same behavior. Case in point him calling her a black homewrecking ho when he slept with a married woman & the fact that he criticized Olivia in the Lawn Chair episode for not being “black enough” or working for the wrong side but then he turns around & worked for those same people. They really turning Marcus into one of those fake woke people.

6. Mellie’s little talk with Marcus. I liked her saying Fitz was a good man & her quote about the weather change but she tried it too. Fitz is such ineffectual garbage but ALL OF Y’ALL NEED HIM. She basically told Marcus to ride Fitz coattails until they drain him dry. She did it, Liv did it, now it’s homewrecking black ho #2 Marcus’s turn. If Fitz so worthless, why y’all on his dick? Why y’all need him to make shit happen? Why y’all need him advance y’all? Be great on your own. It’s sad to say but now I don’t trust Marcus & see him as another soul sucking leach to latch on to Fitz & drain him damn near dry.

7. Eli coming to get Fitz to come back to DC was predictable & annoying. He has spent seasons trying to tear them apart for seasons. Been complaining about Fitz being weak & Olivia being mediocre if she is with him but to Fitz is the first place Eli runs. Like that was really counterproductive. It makes EVERYTHING over the last few seasons that got them to this point pointless. Why did they go through all of that for Eli to finally bring them two back together.

8. The promo for the next episode…why Olivia mad tho? Like sis, if you really BOSSED UP, don’t have to explain yourself to no one & you should be chilling but here you are mad…about something.