shiro introduces matt to new students with the wrong name just to see how long they can get away with it
shiro: “hey this is my friend boiled chicken” matt: “what’s up”
shiro: “this is my friend undercooked spaghetti. he looks 17 but he’s actually 36 and was held back 19 years”
new student: “your name is…broccoli? are you sure about that?” matt: “are you calling me a liar?”
shiro throws juice boxes into the trash can and yells “KOBE!” but they never get in
matt: “why are you crying?” shiro: “i got an A- in this test. i studied so hard as well!!”
matt looking at his C+ that he was happy with: “haha yeah…sucks…”
shiro: “sir would you like a breath mint?” iverson: “why?”
shiro: “cos the only thing out of your mouth is shit”
on a dare matt goes into the gym for a school assembly, wearing nothing but boxers with bejewelled letters on the back spelling “M A T T H O L T”
iverson: “i drink to forget but i always remember”
early on in their friendship, shiro goes into matt’s room to get a textbook and sees the walls plastered with ‘Campbells® Green Pea Soup’ posters. he’s so terrified that he never mentions it again
the first time shiro and matt meet each other:
matt: my name is matthew with a ‘b’ and i’ve been afraid of insects my entire l-
shiro: stop stop stop, where?
shiro: where’s the ‘b’?
matt: tHeRe’S a bEE?
shiro always walks into the wrong classroom and doesn’t know how to deal with it, so he just says ‘haha, forgot my…calculator…’, picks up a random’s kid’s lunch box, and walks out
shiro: i’m feeling a little rebellious today!! (: so i’m not going to tie my laces, i’m only going to do 46/50 of the maths equations assigned to us, and i’ll mess up my entire presentation!! by typing it in comic sans haha
matt scrunching up the worksheet he was given and putting it in his mouth, chewing slowly: this is how i feel about homework sir
Okay, so I’ve seen people saying ‘what if ____ is how the team finds out Lance is bi?!’ and I wanted to contribute.
What if when Matt inevitably meets the team, they’re having their friendly introductions but because Lance has no filter he just goes “Pidge, you never told me your brother was this hot.” Because, let’s be real, Matt’s been wonderful even before he was a badass.
And the entire team just,,, looks at him, and Lance is like “What? I’m bi.”
Awkward silence, and then we get a scene pretty much exactly the same as when you find out Pidge is a girl.
Hunk: I’ve known for a while, but I’m glad you’re telling everyone else about it now.
Pidge: Yeah… I kinda figured.
Allura: Me too.
Coran: Wait, we were supposed to think he was straight?
Shiro: Lance, owning who you are will make you a better paladin.