meekar

KARKAT: HOW MANY RECRUITS DO YOU HAVE?

MEENAH: take a guess

KARKAT: OH. STILL ZERO, HUH? YEAH, THAT SOUNDS ABOUT RIGHT. SERIOUSLY, FUCK LEADERSHIP.

MEENAH: i know!!!!!!

KARKAT: WELL LOOK, HOW ABOUT THIS. LATER ON, WHEN I’M AWAKE OBVIOUSLY, MAYBE OUR METEOR WILL HIT A RENDEZVOUS POINT WITH YOU AGAIN. IF BY THEN, YOU’RE STILL LOOKING FOR RECRUITS, I’LL LIKE… HOP OFF THE METEOR OR SOMETHING. AND JOIN YOUR ARMY.

KARKAT: THEN WE, I MEAN ME AND WHATEVER OTHER IDIOTS YOU’VE ROUNDED UP, CAN ALL GO FIGHT THE INVINCIBLE MONSTER DEMON.

KARKAT: I DON’T KNOW WHY EVERY TIME I TURN AROUND, I’M UP AGAINST AN INVINCIBLE DEMON OF ONE SORT OR ANOTHER. I GUESS THAT’S JUST THE IMPOSSIBLE KIND OF THING PARADOX SPACE WANTS ME TO DO TO PROVE I’M NOT SOME HORRIBLE MISTAKE OF NATURE. ANYWAY, DOES THAT SOUND GOOD?

KARKAT: OH, BUT ON ONE CONDITION. AS THE NEW EMPRESS, YOU HAVE TO APPOINT ME AS GRAND THRESHCUTIONER OF YOUR ARMY. DO WE HAVE A DEAL?

MEENAH: oh yes yes you got it yessss

I WILL SHIP THIS IN HELL I WILL SHIP THIS AFTER HELL I WILL SHIP THIS IN THE AFTERLIFE I WILL SHIP THIS IN MY REINCARNATED BODY I WILL SHIP THIS FOREVER I WILL SHIP THIS LONGER THAN FOREVER SCREECH