cis girl with a trans boyfriend: hey guys jsyk my boyfriend is trans. that means “transgender” if you didn’t know! i call it “trans” because im really hip with their language. he’s trans, so like our relationship isn’t TOTALLY straight…. i mean technically it is but like TECHNICALLY it kinda isnt lol! did i mention my boyfriend is trans? im so noble for having a trans boyfriend. my boyfriend is trans btw!
yesterday i couldn’t fall asleep because i decided to come out to my bisexual classmate today and i’m super anxious lmao but it’s fine i’m fine it’s just the third time i’m doing this AND the first time in a face-to-face conversation but yeah i’ll survive it’s bi awareness week i can do this
today i got to dance to a taylor swift song in a grocery store, a lot of my coworkers and i also got closer, my boss told me that she’s been giving me so much work lately to prepare me for a possible promotion, the cat let me eat my mac & cheese without begging and taylor liking posts will never get old…………it’s been a damn good day x
im losing my shit i offered to go with Boy to his tattoo appointment because no one else was going and i felt bad for him but then another girl offered to go and i was like Ok Thank Christ You Can Go and she was like “no it’s ok!!! you offered first!!!! you can go with him!!!! :-)” and im just like. No. Please. You dont understand
Sometimes, I miss you. This lower-than-low feeling in my gut. Swinging like a pendulum.
I think of the good times. The first time we laid eyes on each other, at the airport arrivals driveway. You came out from the car wearing a maroon shirt. I was wearing a maroon dress. The flowers you gave me… maroon. You kissed me like I had never been kissed before and I felt like I was going to puke up my heart. How emotional it was to make love to you for the first time that I started crying. How free and vulnerable and safe I felt being with you. Taking the dive to move here for you, even with a bad feeling in my gut and my intuition telling me otherwise. Sitting on my couch, drunk off $4 red wine, staring into each others eyes and crying because we loved each other so much and how unreal it felt to be with you.
Then I remember how we got here. The nights you wouldn’t answer your phone. You were at her house. I called you endlessly, staying up until 3am waiting for you to come home to me. Night, after night. Remembering asking you to bring me a snack at work because it was on your way home while I was on shift, and I hadn’t eaten all day, but you were too tired…and in reality, I just wanted to see you for 10 minutes and steal a kiss from you. How I was vulnerable and open to you, and you betrayed me. How I turned into your mother, your assistant, your calendar. Ensuring that you were completing your tasks and fees and fines, paying off your tickets and dealing with paperwork and bills on time because it broke my heart to see you in the position you were in. How you never brought me flowers, once, besides when we first met. How you didn’t respect my space or my belongings. How you took me for granted for so long. How me, worrying for you, I thought, was such a bad thing, but it distracted me from my own anxieties which are now coming tumbling down around me now that I’m stuck in the silence of my own mind. I loved you so much.
We’re two different people living two different realities with two different futures and we hit that fork in the road. What hurts the most is knowing that you love someone with all your heart but can’t make it work. When you spend an hour on the phone, trying to figure out how the fuck you can make it work, but getting frustrated when no solution is found. Then staying, in silence, crying, on the phone for another half hour because it was time to say a forever goodbye, but you werent ready to say goodbye forever to your best friend.
I’m hurting still. Everyday I tempt myself with checking on you on social media, and checking her instagram too, but I know I will just be breaking my own heart. It just echoes in my mind that you still love me and told me that while you’re laying with her. And how you told me that you were just so scared and alone….and that she definitely likes you more than you her… but. You have to keep your bed warm, I guess.
I can’t even think about someone else touching me without wanting to cry. The thought of being vulnerable with someone else feels like a sword through my gut. I can’t even look another man on a date straight in the eyes without just feeling an overwhelming hurt.
It’s time to move on and i’m struggling. The only cure, I know, is to write, and to gush. These are all things I want to tell you, but I can’t. I send you emails with little thoughts here and there since that is all we do to talk whenever it’s “business matters” or something serious. I need to move on but I don’t want to. I’m trying to move on but I can’t. I just don’t understand how you could so easily.
i think my grandma deserves the “grandma of the century” award jdkjdjdkf
so my family was trash talking some ugly nazi politician and my grandma was happy to talk shit about her, until my grandpa said “she’s a lesbian…” and my grandma SLAPPED him and was like “joseph! you should accept people however they are!” and my mum was like “she actually is, though” and my grandma was like “yes but i didn’t like his tone! it was so condescending!”
and i wanted to start crying right there and then because i’m not even out to any of them yet and my grandma was still ready to slap my grandpa to defend lesbians
BELLAMY BLAKE WATCHED RAVEN REYES LAND ON EARTH AND WAS THE FIRST TO FIND HER ON THE GROUND, HE WAS THERE WHEN SHE BEGAN HER SECOND LIFE ON EARTH AND THEN THE WORLD ENDED AND HE LEFT WITH HER TO GO BACK TO THE SPACE AND HOLY SHIT MY DUDES THIS IS A LOVE STORY LITERALLY WRITTEN IN THE STARS AND I AM ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!