medium rare burger

anonymous asked:

"Oh I'm so sorry, due to California state law we're no longer allowed to cook our burgers medium rare." "Oh well that's fine, just make it as rare as you can." No. It doesn't work like that. We can't make it rare at all. There's no in between or grey area. I literally just explained that medium well is the closest you're getting what the fuck do you not understand.

so, i don’t write things down when i serve at the beer bar. i’ve been at this a long time, & i’m very visual, so unless it’s like a party of nine people or more, i’ve got it.

sometimes it makes customers nervous. i get it. i just reassure them if i sense their trepidation, by repeating back the entire order before i leave. 

there was a table of three older gentlemen tonight that could not comprehend how i could possibly remember an appetizer & three entrees. when i got to the second guy, he was like ‘wait, you aren’t writing any of this down. you’re going to mess this up, aren’t ya?’  i took it in stride, because i think he didn’t mean for it to sound so harsh, but, like, damn, dude. 

so, i turned to the bar & said ‘you see that guy in the black shirt? his name is tom. last monday he got the fried chickpeas to start & then the steak medium rare. the lady in the turquoise shirt was in last sunday & she got the iceberg wedge with hickory smoked chicken but no nuts because she’s allergic. the guy in the red on the other end got a burger medium rare with bacon, hold the onion, with salad on the side, the sunday before memorial day weekend. that older guy with the white shirt & green tie, i haven’t served him since january, but when i did, it was a monday, & he got the banh mi with poutine fries on the side because he hadn’t eaten all day. i promise, i’ve got you. i take food too seriously to mess it up.’

he was like ‘ok, i trust you now.’

mic frickin drop.

Wrong Target

Originally posted by crazy-vibes-under-the-moon

Pairing: Dean x Reader
Word count: 902

Part 1 of From the Other Side

Dean could hear you walking into the library, but kept his eyes on the screen. Everything was stressing him out, and it was just one thing after another. Hell, sometimes he couldn’t even figure out what was bothering him. Glancing at the burger, he quickly went back to work. “You use the mustard I like?” He asked. There were very few things in the bunker that didn’t wind up being shared- his mustard being one of them. After Sam had used the last of it, that was it.

“Yup!” You sounded happy about that, making the corner of his mouth move slightly.

Licking his lips, he went on. “Not bloody, right?” He liked his burgers medium-rare, not like he was a damn vampire again drinking blood.

He saw you shake your head from the corner of his eye. “No, I’ve gotten pretty good at that. I’ve worked it out to timing it perfectly.” Dean had to admit, that was true. The first time you’d cooked him a burger, he wound up basically hosting a cooking lesson just for you. He thought it was cute how intently you listened to him. “Seasoned the burger with salt and pepper while it cooked, as well.” That he taught you by making two pieces of chicken. One seasoned, one not. You tasted both and it hit you what a difference it made.

Dean picked up his burger, his mouth watering, and took a bite. “Awe, come on.” He groaned, getting up to walk past you, chewing his bite quickly. “Barely any mustard, none of my damn pickles, and could have been cooked a couple minutes longer.” Honestly, he really didn’t care all that much, but with everything else- he blew it out of proportion.

Keep reading

Twilight: Riley Biers Request

hi can i please have a riley biers imagine where the girl is plus size and the older twin of renesmee and riley somehow survived and she turns out to be his true mate and he is apart of the volturi and she is insecure because of her size but they end up together please

AN: I made it so everyone already know that Riley made it out alive, like instead of being killed he turned on Victoria and helped the Cullens out.

“Y/N,” you heard being called from your family’s main home, “time for school.” Although most humans wouldn’t be able to hear it from your house in the forest you could; the simple talking tone your mother said your name in travels through the forest to your superhuman ears. You grabbed your backpack from the dinner table and ran to the main house.

“Slowing down are you,” your uncle, Emmett, commented as you stopped in the kitchen.

“Not slowing down,” you said grabbing a banana, “just conserving my energy for when I have to outrun you on the track in gym today,” being ‘one year younger than him,’and the rest of your family, you had gym class with him. You felt your phone vibrate in your backpack.

“You going to check that,” your uncle asked?

“It’s just Riley,” you quickly replied to his question. You grabbed your keys from the kitchen counter and walked down to the garage. “Morning everyone,” you said addressing you, rather large, family.

Your family were the Cullens, a coven of vampires, which consisted of your parents, Bella and Edward, your uncles, Emmett and Jasper, your aunts, Rosalie and Alice, and your grandparents, Esme and Carlisle. And you couldn’t forget your fraternal twin sister Renesmee. Your contrasting looks made it easier for people to believe that your family were all adopted by Esme and Carlisle.

While your sister was slender with curly bronze-like hair you were more curvy and full figured and your hair was dark and straight like your mothers; you both resembled your parents just in completely opposite ways. While your sister could share thoughts with others and break through mental shields you were able to create shields, like your mother, which your sister couldn’t even break, and manipulate the thoughts of others.

You shook your keys, “I’m taking my car today. I think I might go out after school with Riley.” You walked to your Audi S5 and threw your bag in, while you both had tomboy styles your sister’s was a tad bit more girly than you, which is probably why her car of choice was Mazda Miata. You walked over and gave your grandparents a quick kiss on the cheek before you all left for school, “Love you guys.” In the time since your birth and the fight against the Volturi your family had relocated about 3 hours South of Forks. This way everyone could start over but Jacob and Charlie would still be close by.

“See you in first hour Ness,” you said to your sister as you got in your car. You called a quick by to the rest of your family, whom you would see throughout various classes and lunch, and speed off to school. “Love you,” you heard you parents call to you. You eagerly parked in the lot and pulled out your phone, looking at the message that had come through while you were in the kitchen.

“Where do you want to meet later?” Riley and you had been seeing each other for almost two years now. When you ran into him about three years ago you were hesitant of him, given his track record with your family and how he had joined the Volturi after the fight as a, sort of, watcher of the American vampires. But for whatever reason the two of you connected and a little after a year of knowing him he had finally asked you out. Your family hadn’t been too thrilled about it at first but after seeing how well he treated you they loved him. You texted him back, “The little cafe two towns over. I’ll see you after school. Love you.” You grabbed your bag and made your way to your locker.

“Are you going to tell me why you’re acting all weird?” You looked and saw that your sister had made her way to your side as you began walking to class. You gave her a questioning glance. “Don’t give me that look. You know what I’m talking about.”

You just shrugged, “I don’t know what you mean. I just want to go out for a little alone time with my boyfriend is that weird?”

She smiled coyly at you, “If I could get in your head…” she trailed off. You were lucky that nobody was able to get passed the shield your mind naturally had around itself. You usually told your sister everything, that’s the kind of relationship you two had but, if she knew then your Dad would also know thanks to his snooping mind.

She could tell that something was bothering you though. After almost two years of dating you and Riley still hadn’t gone too far in your relationship. Partly because, although you looked and acted like you were 17, you weren’t; that wasn’t really a problem though because everyone treated you like a 17 year old. The real problem was that you were a little self conscious about your body.  Luckily, both you and Riley’s busy schedules, and the fact that the two of you could rarely get alone time, made it impossible for you two to explore that side of your relationship.

You took your seats next to each other in your first hour math class. As the teacher started teaching you heard,“Jacob’s coming over tonight so don’t be gone all night,” she whispered so quietly that only you could hear.

As the day rolled on you had had art with your Aunt Alice, whose artistic ability surpassed everyone in the class, lunch with your whole family, gym with Uncle Emmett and a free period with your Uncle Jasper. You waited anxiously for the last bell to ring. Before the tone could even be heard by your peers you were up and out of the class making your way to your car; you were ready to see Riley.

An hour later you pulled up to the small diner. You had just gotten out of your car when two hands covered your eyes from behind. “Guess who,” the all too familiar voice said.

“Hmmm,” you joked, “is it you Jesse,” you said excited. The hands dropped and before you could open your eyes Riley was in front of you. “Who’s Jesse,” he said a little upset.

You laughed, “It’s just the first name I thought of. Don’t worry,” you kissed him, “you’re the only one I’m seeing.” He muttered a ‘Good’ as he smirked at you and went back for another kiss. This one was different, more eager and hard. Probably due to the fact that you hadn’t seen each other in a 3 and a half weeks. The only time you could see each other face to face was when you could get away from your family. And talking on the phone was just as hard: any phone calls could be heard by everyone in your house so those never happened unless you were in a completely separate place as your family. Texting could be tricky too because having your phone out and unlocked made it liable to getting taken by your playful uncles. Basically: you two never had any privacy.

You weren’t sure how long the kiss lasted but you, eventually, reluctantly pulled away. “We can make out later, I’m hungry, let’s go in and get something to eat,” you held his hand and walked into the diner. You two took a booth in the very back where you could get extra privacy. You doubted that anyone in the place would want to or could hear your conversation, you could whisper so quietly that even if they tried they wouldn’t be able to hear what you were both saying, but you both needed that time to be together and forget about everything.

Your medium rare burger and milkshake got to the table and you looked up at Riley, “How’s work?”

He let out a long sigh as he played with your hand that he held, “I had to deal with this vamp in LA. Some newborn that had no control over herself. She went on this killing spree and in the end I had to take her out- took me 2 weeks to catch her though.”

“Sorry babe,” you squeezed his hand.

“It’s worth it if I get to stay in the States and stay close to you. You know,” he said changing the subject,” I don’t have any jobs for at least the next couple weeks and our anniversary is coming up next weekend…”


“And, we could have a little get away. It doesn’t have to be far or anything but we could go somewhere together. You, me, some O positive, and a cabin in the woods,” he looked up hopefully at you. You got nervous right away, you knew what he was hinting at.

You drew a breath in, “I don’t know Ri,” he stopped you before you could continue.

“What is it Y/N? Something’s up. I know because I know you, so talk,” he leaned back into the booth. You tried to collect your thoughts and think about where to start, or if you were ready to tell him.

“Is there anyway that I could mess around in your head and make you forget that you asked me this question?” He shook his head. You drew a sharp breath. “It’s just…” you began but you stopped. “I don’t know if I can do this,” you whispered about yourself.

“You can do it Y/N, you know I’m not going to judge you for anything you say.”

You tried speaking again, “I’m ready for the cabin with you and what it entails,” he knew what you meant by that, “but at the same time…I don’t want to because of me.”

“You lost me at the last part.”

“I’m not petite like my sister or my mom. I’m curvy and I don’t know if I want you to see me like that, you know?” He reached out and took your hands again. “I love you for you, you know that. I don’t care what you look like, even though you are beautiful, I care about who you are on the inside.”


“Yeah.” You looked at each other for a little while.

“That cabin sounds really nice then.”


“Yeah.” You both kept smiling at each other. “Let’s get home. Jacob’s coming over and I’m sure he’d love to see you again. Plus, you’re going to have to convince my dad that the cabin in the woods is a good idea.” If it were possible Riley would have turned even paler. “That’s what I thought,” you laughed as you walked together to your car. “Try and keep your thoughts pure pretty boy. My dad likes you but not enough to see those.”

Angst Drama... The Saga Continues

it late at night, it cold… angst can be feel in the air. it feel like himidity and smell like turkey.

the story follow the two boy at finner. Baz decide not to be cheap ass ho for once and take Simon out.  Simon sit, his leg crossed, he look posh. Frackles tattooed on his face, his hair bleach, his skinny jeans skinny, wearing his peppa pig chocker and mardy grass beeads… he could barely breathe but he was looking fine… not much unlike a delicious, medium rare burger that had been sitting in the sun for an hour

Baz sit, he also look posh. he manspread a lil bit tho… wtf Baz… u are in public.  His hair was pull back into an elegant man bun, and he was wearing timbs. He smell like Yankee Candles MAN TOWN. His eyeliner could cut some1, he had fully accepted himself as emo now… He came out of the emo closet. Now there was somethin else he need to telll Simon… something more important.

The lights are really brite, like lite brites, and they are blinding the two cut, hot  boys a little bit, nut neither of them mind that much. Baz sit, gently yoddling love poems at Simon with his eyes. “Do u like ravioli” He whisper suggestively, reaching over and gently running a hand on Simon’s 1 ab

“I-i-idk” simon whisper.. “i think i like afredo pasta more”

Baz slap simon with baz pinkie. “No that has……. .. .… … .. garlic.”

Simon stare at baz thinking wtf does this boy think he is coming into my house and disrespecting me and my food preference like that WTF. he knew baz was plotting… he could feel it in his ball… he pulled a red bouncy ball out of his pocket and kissed it. “Baz are u sure you-u-u-u a-a-a-aren’t a vampire,” he whisper suspicious, narrowing his dazzleing emarald orb

“Ya i told u i’m just on a diet,” baz reply, running a thumb throygh simon’s greasy white boy hair

Simon smile and moan and shriek loudly in the restauratarnt “A-A-A–A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A–A-AAHHHHHH… ALLSTAR CRUMPET, BAEZILTON!”

“Hey now ur an allstar” baz whisper sexuxualal in Simon ear. “Can i tell u a srect”

“Ya” simon whisper, licking the rasturant menu… blooshing… no boy has ever tell him a scret before  

“I can read every mind in this room, apart from yours,” Baz whisper. He points at a Walmart store in the restaurant, “they want money” he whisper. He point to an lonely floorboard sitting in a chair, “they want secc”

He points at u, “they want us to kis”

“And then u… nohting. It’s very frustrating.” Baz say, leaning in close to Simon’s face

Simon gasp. He stand up in shock, but sit back down. “Am i diseased… is this because i’m a gemini”

“idk simon i think it’s because u are mad dumb” baz say with a shrug, “but being a gemini probably doesn’t help”

“Omg” simon reply, starting 2 cri… he was cursed to be a gemini forever

Baz also start 2 cry bc this stpry was originalli written in comic sans


anonymous asked:

Anabeth's son's swim lessons please

Part 1 | Part 2

  • Annabeth was instantly regretting having Percy over for dinner. She was more conscious than usual about what she was making. 
  • But she couldn’t go wrong making burgers, salad, and some homemade fries, right? Right?
  • She looked over at James, who was playing with his toy trains. He was playing with them on the tracks, going through some buildings that Annabeth made for him, out of legos, earlier. 
  • There was a knock at the door and James looked up. He ran over to the door. 
  • “Who is it?” James asked as Annabeth went to look through the peep hole to see who it was. 
  • “It’s, uh, Percy.” 
  • Annabeth saw him standing on the other side with a container and a brown bag that probably had wine in it. 
  • “Back up James.” Annabeth told him. He moved back a couple of steps so the door could open.
  • Annabeth smiled a bit as she saw Percy. “Hi.”
  • “Hi. I brought wine and cookies. I, uh, I hope that’s okay.” Percy replied. 
  • Desert. That’s what she forgot. “Yeah. It’s perfect.”
  • “Cookies!” James smiled, looking up at Percy. “You got cookies?”
  • “Yeah. Some special blue cookies.” He smiled. 
  • James’ eyes widen. “Blue cookies?!”
  • Annabeth chuckled as she shut the door. “Dinner will be ready in five minutes.”
  • Percy nodded. “So, can I put this down somewhere?”
  • Annabeth took the wine. “The cookies go on top of the fridge, otherwise James can get to them.”
  • Percy nodded and put the cookies up in the high place. “Is there anything you need me to do?”
  • “No. Everything is just about ready to come out. But, how do you like your burger?”
  • “Medium rare.” He told her. “So, how good are your burgers?”
  • “I think pretty good. My critic loves them.” She nodded towards James, who went back to playing with his toys.
  • “Well, then they must be really good.” He smiled. 
  • Annabeth served dinner, making sure James ate some salad since she knew he would try not to eat his veggies.
  • Percy poured Annabeth some wine before pouring himself some. “I never had wine with burgers.”
  • “Me either.” Annabeth replied before taking a sip. 
  • Dinner went by without a hitch. James was on his best behavior as he ate his dinner. Annabeth guessed it was because of Percy.
  • She was impressed with Percy’s baking skills. His blue cookies were delicious. They melted in her mouth.
  • Percy helped Annabeth clean up after she got James down for bed. She was tired after a long day.
  • “Dinner was amazing Annabeth.” Percy said as he loaded the dish washer with the prerinsed plates.
  • “Thanks. Those blue cookies though. They were amazing.” She told him as she added another plate to the pile. 
  • “Confession, my mom made those cookies. After I saw you in the store, I went to her place and she made me the cookies.” He turned a bit pink. 
  • “Well your mom makes delicious cookies.” She turned off the water.
  • “I’ll tell her that.” Percy smiled. 
  • Annabeth poured some soap in before shutting the door and starting it. “Would you like some coffee or tea?”
  • “Tea would be great.” 
  • Annabeth started to fill her pot with water and turned on the stove. 
  • Percy walked around the apartment. There were picture of her and James all around with some artwork that James made for her. 
  • “I’m sorry if this sounds awkward, but what happened to James’ father?” Percy asked.
  • Annabeth looked at the two steaming cups of water in front of her. She brought it to the table with a box of different tea bags. 
  • Percy looked at her. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”
  • She took a deep breath. “He was in the army. He died on a mission before James was born. We were suppose to get married when he got back.”
  • “I’m so sorry.” Percy whispered. 
  • “It’s fine.” She replied grabbing a tea bag and putting it in her cup. 
  • Percy picked out a tea bag and put it in his cup. “So, what do you do for a living?” He wanted to change the subject.
  • “I work at an architect firm.” She replied. 
  • “So you build buildings.” He said.
  • “No,” She slightly rolled her eyes. “I design them and then make sure construction goes to plan.” 
  •   He nodded. “So, design anything I know?”
  • “No, nothing famous yet.” She replied. “What about you?”
  • “Biology teacher at the high school and the varsity swim coach.” He told her. 
  • “Sounds busy.”
  • “It pays the rent.” He replied.
  • She smiled a bit as she sipped her tea. “You must love kids.”
  • “Yeah. Honestly, the littler kids are the best. I love teaching my level ones and twos at the Y. The older kids are harder to keep interested. The little ones love the water.”
  • She smiled. 
  • They spent the rest of the night talking about their jobs and Annabeth wished that the night could go on, but it was almost midnight and both of them had work the next day.
  • “Thank you for dinner.” Percy said as he was getting ready to leave.
  • “It’s no problem.” She smiled. “Come over anytime.”
  • “I might have to take you up on that.” He chuckled. “I can always use a home cooked meal and spend time with James.”
  • She smiled. “Okay.” She opened the door. “Have a good night.”
  • Percy smiled at her. “Goodnight Annabeth.” He leaned down and kissed her cheek.
  • She could feel the blood rush to her cheeks as he left.
I dated a vegan for a while. To be clear, I have no issues with vegans; their food habits leave more cheese for me to eat so I say the more the merrier. I was a vegetarian when I was dating this vegan but when he dumped me in especially cruel fashion, I just relapsed right into a hot dog and ropa vieja and this amazing medium rare burger with a fried egg on top. I was sad but I didn’t want to drink it away, I just wanted to float away on a sea of meats. It was revenge meat and I ate it so happily not just for me but for all people who dated someone who decided to spend the last three months of their relationship not using soap because soap is made by “the man” and then dumped you because monogamy is also made by the man, yo. I was still sad but meat helped.
—  So into One Week One Band’s Rilo Kiley week today.

czechs-and-holdings  asked:

Ideal Americana meal? (Hotdogs, burgers, mac n cheese, sodas, shakes, etc.)

For me the ideal American meal is the Damn Sandwich from the local stockyard. Medium rare burger with a 12oz ribeye medium rare and cheddar cheese with bacon and a side of bacon and queso fries

[Her: A Short Story]

Honestly, I’m not insane. I promise you that I’m not. I’m as normal as anyone could possibly be. I was born into quite a normal family. My mother was a stay at home mom, while my father was a businessman at the local sales firm.  I had a bike, played in the yard, and said my prayers every night before bed. Believe me, you could take a picture of us and stick it in a magazine promoting better lifestyles. We perfectly fit the cliche of a normal, white, suburban family.

I live in an apartment complex in the middle of the city, nothing too fancy. It’s a standard, one bedroom apartment containing the average messes of any single man; stained clothes scattered aimlessly throughout the floor, black trash bags filled with day old meat and beer bottles, piles of newspapers resting on the living room. Nothing out of the ordinary, just average. I work at a tax firm called Norm & Al’s Tax Office, across the street from J.J.’s Diner. I order my lunch every day from J.J.’s, a medium rare cheese burger with a side of fries and a Coke. That’s about as average of a lunch as you can possibly get. I have no girlfriend, no wife, no kids. I’m just a single man, living life as normally as I possibly can. I’m no different from anyone else. I love how my life is so normal and I strive to keep it that way. So just exactly how can I insane? My name is Michael Nathaniel Scott.

However I’ll say this again, I’m not crazy. Honestly, I’m really not. But I am in love. I am madly in love with Jennifer Watson. Jennifer works at the same tax firm as I do. They just hired her a few weeks ago as a new accountant. She sits exactly five cubicles down and three to the right from mine. Trust me, I’ve counted, about 521 times to be exact. That’s half the number of times I’ve stared at her from afar. 

I first met Jennifer at J.J.’s Diner. Well, I didn’t actually meet her, she sat exactly two booths away from me. I did, however, watch her for a couple of minutes. I thought it was quite romantic that she orders the same exact meal as I did. She even removes the pickles and places it on a napkin just the way I do.  It was if it was fate for her and I to be together.

Jennifer lives in an apartment complex called the Sani T. Inn, exactly 3.2 miles away from my apartment. It’s located on the corner of Rutherford St. and Dawson Ave. It really is a beautiful building, much nicer than mine. She lives on the 13th floor of her apartment complex, Room 1366.  She really has a wonderful home and her bedroom window overlooks the city skyline. It’s such a beautiful site. It really is. Trust me, I’ve seen it.

I haven’t worked up the courage to talk to Jennifer yet. She doesn’t even know I my name. But she does pass by my cubicle every day, at exactly 2:32 p.m., to go to the restroom. Honestly, I’m not crazy, but Jennifer stares at me whenever she walks by. In the brief five seconds she walks by, she glances at me with lustful eyes.  She must be in love with me as well. We’re two peas in a pod, you know? Her heart must beat for me, as mine does for her.

The time was 2:20p.m., September, 31st 2001, exactly twelve minutes before Jennifer makes her daily routine bathroom break. I had planned to finally confront Jennifer about our romantic tension today. Maybe, her and I can stop playing this staring game and move on to a real relationship. I peek above my cubicle partition to see if she was getting up, but all I could see were the bad hairdos of all my co-workers and the lovely grid pattern of our cubicles. I sat back down in my perfect 6x6 cubicle with its beautifully normal grey walls and the mountains of paperwork to my left. Unlike my apartment, my cubicle is perfectly organized. The cubicle is graced with the aroma of freshly printed documents. Nothing is out of place. The staples are all neatly stored in their box inside the top right drawer. The stapler is placed at a 45 degree, so my hand doesn’t have to struggle when I reach for it. I simply wanted my office space to be the prime example of a normal, working man’s cubicle. It was my own little slice of heaven. Sweet, perfect, normality.

I checked the clock again. All I can think about were the precious seconds Jennifer used to walk passed my cubicle. I haven’t been this nervous in quite a long time. My stomach feels like ribbons, my hands are drenched with sweat, my lips wet from the salivation of excitement. My head pounded with the sound of reverberating drum beats. This is the feeling of love, I just know it. The time is 2:31p.m., just a single minute away from seeing Jennifer’s beautiful figure grace its way through these lovely halls. I peek above my cubicle once more. Drum beats sound in my head once more.

It’s exactly 2:32p.m. and I can see her gorgeous black hair radiate the room. Today is the day, I said. Over and over inside my head like a broken record.

Today was the day.
Today is the day.

Today, she’ll know just how perfect we are for each other. I’ll expose her love for me. My face clenches up, putting on the best smile it could muster. I check myself in the small mirror to my right. I see an image fit to be her boyfriend. I see her pass by my cubicle taking such small, yet graceful steps. Tremors dance their way throughout my hands and chest.
She briefly turns her head towards me with the same stare she always has. Her eyes meet mine and I knew it was the time. I whispered to myself:

“Get up
Get the fuck up!

It was too late. I turn around and watched her pass me with a look of sadness on her face. She wanted me to say something. She wanted me to make her my queen.


The sound of my voice echoed across the building. I felt every bit of air from my body exit out of my mouth. I was standing in the middle of my cubicle, trying to catch my breath. The office was silent, shocked at my display of frustration. One after another, they rose up out of their seats and turned their heads toward my direction. Each had glancing at me with their hollow judgmental eyes. I wanted to tear their fucking eyes out. All I could see is jealousy radiating from their bodies, they were angry that Jennifer was mine for the taking. Millions of eyes all begin to simultaneously focus their glare towards me. The longer they stare, the faster my heart races. I can hear their whispers and their smirk little comments.

They’re looking at me as if I’m crazy. Honestly, I’m not crazy! More eyes fixate on me. It feels as if my heart is ready to burst through my sternum leaving entrails scattered across the office floor. I’m not crazy, I’m just like all of them. I’m just as normal as all of you. Why do they stare at me like I’m insane?


Their eyes quickly turn away from me. My heart begins to slow down. I’m calm. I’m normal. I’m fine. I sit back down and notice Jennifer exiting the restroom and walking back towards back her cubicle. This time I’ll do it. My face clenches up once more, putting on an even better smile than before. I check myself in the mirror just in case the yelling messed my hair up. Nope, still an image of the perfect, normal boyfriend. Once again, she turns her head towards me and stares into my eyes, smiling and waiting for me to make my move. Come on Michael, you can do it. Move. Say something. You’ll miss your chance. MOVE!


“Yes?” she asked, quickly turning towards me.

The tone of her voice sounded so welcoming, so loving, so accepting. She’s perfect for a normal guy like me. My body felt the need to leap towards her and kiss her so tenderly.

“Would you like to grab some lunch with me in a few minutes? We go to the same place every day and we wouldn’t be so lonely if we’re eating together. Right?”

She looked at me with a face of confusion but she soon realized that this was my way of asking her on a date. A smile emerges from the cracks of her beautiful pale skin.

“Sure.” She said, quickly walking back towards her cubicle.

I can tell she’s smiling right now. Her body must be feeling adrenaline coursing through her veins as well. She’s probably imagining the wonderful evening we’re going to have. How her and I will order the same burger, remove the pickles, and place it on the same napkin. How it will end in a kiss as I walk her towards the office building. How later that night we’re going to make love and proclaim our feelings for each other.

Hours go by and all I can feel is the anxiousness setting in. My knees are shaking, violently rocking my desk up and down. My hands are trembling so quickly that not even vice gripping my leg could stop either of these movements. All I could do was watch the clock tick the irrelevant seconds away. But this is all I could do. Wait. Wait for her to get up and exit the building. That’s it.

She must be feeling this way too, right? Her hands, her knees, her heart must all be nervously dancing to the beat of our future together. I know she can’t wait either, I just know it. Our connection, our normality, our love, they binds our actions and our thoughts. I will wait for you to leave, as any normal man should. I peek over my cubicle and notice Jennifer grabbing her purse. She gets up and makes her way towards the exit. My eyes follow her path, waiting for her to turn to me with her dull, dazzling dark brown eyes and tell me to follow her. She’s only just a few steps away. I stare at her beautiful, pale face once again, waiting for her signal. Two more steps. One.

Jennifer! Look at me! Jennifer! JENNIFER! LOOK AT ME! YOU FUCKING CUNT!

She passes me and makes her way towards the door. She must have forgotten that I was coming along.  I stare at her once again and notice that she fumbled her keys and bent over to pick them up. Was this her signal? Was this her promiscuous way of telling me to follow her? I can tell that the gesture was for me and me alone. This was her way, her method of catching my attention.

I get up and make my way to the door as well, taking quiet steps so Jennifer wouldn’t assume that I’m desperate to be next to her. Just walk normal Michael. Slowly. Just the right distance behind her for her to notice my presence, but not close enough for her to pay it any mind.

I turn my head for a quick second and I notice the J.J.’s across the street. It’s neon blue sign illuminating the place where and I shall speak of our love. I turn back to Jennifer, watching the way her hips move in tiny unnoticeable motions. She’s at the stoplight, not too far ahead of me. I wanted to maintain my distance, so I hid behind the entrance of a coffee shop just a few feet away. I could tell that she knew I was behind her. She started to grip her purse tighter out of anxiousness and excitement. Her breathing became a little faster paced due to the nervousness. I’ll comfort you Jennifer. I’ll take care of you.

I peek my head out of the corner just a little and notice that she was getting on the bus she takes home. She smiles in my direction, right as she boards the bus and proceeds to take her seat at the rear. I knew what this meant. She wanted me to be with her and follow her to her apartment with the beautiful view, into her bedroom with her white satin sheets and soft pillows that I’ve placed my naked body once upon a time. An act that I’ve dreamed of doing simultaneously with Jennifer on plenty of occasions.

I snap myself out of my fantasy and run towards the bus to catch up to her. I pay the fare and still kept my distance. I stood in the front while she rested in the back, enchanting me with her eyes of lust and love. She turns her head in a way to send me a message. A message that’s saying that she can’t contain her emotions. Me too, Jennifer. Soon, we’ll be together alone as any normal couple should be. My eyes are still fixated on Jennifer. Hers are glancing out the window watching the scenery go by. The bus stops a few times letting the insignificant people off. It would have been better if I threw them into on coming traffic. One by one, they stepped off the bus and each time blocking my view of her. I take my eyes off of her for a minute and stare at the rear view mirror that reflected back at me. I smile and fix my tie, dusting off any debris left on me by people passing me by. I wanted to look as nice as possible. I wanted to look as normal as I possibly could for her. I brush my hair off to the side, smile once more and turn back to her.

She was getting up, ready to leave. I noticed her hand she gripping the center bar with such eagerness. She turns back at me once more and quickly exits the bus. I get off a few seconds after and saw her walking faster towards her apartment building. She looked in a hurry, same as I, excited to seal our love with flesh. Her breathing has grew louder, as did mine. Her paces have sped up, as did mine. Her hands shook more and more, as did mine. She constantly turned back with a smile on her face. Her eyes filled with temptation and love. I chased her to heart’s content. She hurried into the building and ran for the elevator, pressing the button to make her way up the building. She turned to me and as I stared directly into her eyes, I froze. For the first time, I froze.

The doors of the elevator shut and I was left standing still. I calmed myself and entered the next elevator. It was probably best that I didn’t get on the elevator with her, things would have started too early. The music elevator music only made me more eager. I’ve lost the patience I’ve been storing within myself. It feels like an eternity, waiting inside this iron cell. Floor after floor passed until finally arriving at the 13th Floor.

The elevator doors slid open and I could see that Jennifer was by her door. I hear the sound of her  heavy heartbeats and she shifted through her purse to get her keys. I waited in the hall corridor, biding my time. I knew that Jennifer noticed me because she was staring right at me. She looked for those keys even faster, alternating her gaze between me and her purse. I could hear her squeals of joy. So I ran. I ran towards her as fast as I could. She was only down the hall not more than twenty steps away.

Her door violently swings open and she runs in. She tried to close the door shut but I managed to force it open. She was such a tease, laughing as I entered the room. Her screams of happiness fill her apartment. I shut the door behind me and chase after her. The adrenaline in my system was too much.

I slammed her back against the wall, wrapping my hands around throat, and started to kiss her passionately. Her arms flailing as I tore her clothes off. Piece by piece. Her muffled screams of ecstasy only grew louder as each article of clothing was sliced off. I swung her light body onto the bed and pinned her arms down. I kissed every portion of her body, squeezing her limbs so she wouldn’t escape from the pleasure I was serving her.

I could tell she couldn’t wait for it anymore. I licked her naked body once more then pierced her flesh. Penetrating the pink matter that rested within her over and over. Each thrust was just another symbol of our love. She screamed more after each thrust. Louder after each movement of my body. The color of her red lipstick dyed my body as she kissed me all over. She gave into the ecstasy and just laid there perfectly still. I was out of breathe. Adrenaline was still pumping through my system.

I stood above her and turned her head towards me. Her body was still warm. Her eyes open, staring directly into mine. I kissed her on the forehead and let her rest. I cleaned up the place while she recovered. I threw her clothes still covered in her red lipstick into the bathroom. I wiped down every area we made love in. I looked at her once more and smiled at her beauty. I stare out her window and admire the view I’ve seen many times alone. But now I can share this view with her with her in the bed, sleeping. Resting her perfect self. I turn and stare at her once more, kiss her now colorless lips and make my way out of her apartment.

Honestly, I’m not insane. I promise you that I’m not. I’m as normal as anyone could possibly be. I was born into the most normal family anyone can imagine. I live in a standard apartment containing the average messes of any single man. I work at a local tax firm called Norm & Al’s Tax Office across the street from J.J.’s Diner, where I always go for my lunch break. I always order a cheeseburger with a side of fries and a Coke. I’m just living life as normal as I possibly can. I’m no different from anyone else. So how can I possibly be insane? My name is Michael Nathaniel Scott.

However, I am in love with named Jennifer Watson and she is in love with me. As I make my way down the elevator, through the crowded lobby, passed the sliding glass door, and out of her building; I think of her beautiful, sleeping body. I take one more glance at her bedroom window, I reach into my pocket, and smile with the knowledge that her heart is now mine.


East Village Burgers, Tokyo

You gotta love a restaurant that tells you exactly what they’re selling on the side of their building…

Welcome to East Village Burgers in Tokyo!

East Village is a small restaurant in Ikebukuro specializing in nothing but burgers. How small, you ask? Well, this is the counter where only one person can stand and order at a time, with a tiny kitchen behind it…

You then climb the narrow staircase you can kind of see above on the right, and ascend into a cramped “cozy” dining area with only seven seats.

But while the shop may be small, the burgers are anything but!

East Village is famous for not only the size of their beef patties, but also how they treat their meat. Much like the ranchers in Kobe massage their prized cows, the chef at East Village puts his ground beef into plastic bags and massages it to keep it tender. This massaged beef is then turned into large 8 oz. patties…

The other thing that East Village does oh so swell is their thick-cut, house-smoked bacon. You can’t really see it here under the layers of melted cheese, but their perfect pork belly adds so much flavor to this cheeseburger.

One thing to remember about eating burgers anywhere in Tokyo, they’ll almost always cook their burgers well done. No pink on the inside unless you ask for it. I requested a medium rare burger here and the chef cooked it perfectly.

A tender, juicy burger on a fluffy, toasted bun with the toppings of your choice…

My bacon cheeseburger burger came accompanied by bowl of fries, hash browns and potato puffs, all good but nothing that blew me away…

This burger combo set me back 1400 yen, or about $12 at the current exchange rate, and was well worth it!

With the attention they give their beef and their bacon, East Village easily enters my list of Tokyo’s Top Five Burger Joints!


1-13-1Higashi Ikebukuro 

Toshima-ku, Tokyo




anonymous asked:

I've always had a fantasy that after Kerry chaired Tony's innocence project, Shonda was too tired to carry on the night and left Tony and Kerry alone. In front of her room, she stops, her back to tony (like campaign trail) "Tony" she says "what Kerry?" he replies, fed up. "You want to pretend there's nothing going on between us, ok, but I am done pretending. I think about you every second of the day. I fantasize about your lips, tasting you, feeling you" she turns. Go on girl finish it.

Lol. Thanks for this prompt :) I really got into writing it. And I liked it a lot. So here’s something I need yall to do while reading this. Find the song that Tony mentions in here - “Seconds of Pleasure” by Van Hunt. I suggest going on Youtube- the best versions are there. Now listen to that jawn on replay. I promise you, no matter what part of the song these crucial moments fall on, it will enhance the experience. It actually adds to the tension that I tried to create here. 

Enjoy! And thanks once again, anon for the prompt! 

Say My Name

Kerry jiggled her crossed leg as she watched the production assistants fuss around with their mics. She leaned over to Shonda. “Did you want to do dinner after this? There’s not a formal one, I don’t think.” Shonda shook her head convincingly.

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When I Get My Concealed Carry License

I’m going to have a full-on, straight-up America Day.

Breakfast of eggs over-easy, bacon, toast, black coffee; at a diner where I can CC.

Lunch of a medium-rare burger and a side of fries with a glass-bottle coke (see above).

Dinner of medium-rare steak and grilled veggies with bourbon at home where I can watch at least two action movies.

I need an 8-hour (minimum) patriotic music playlist, at least two damn good action movies I haven’t seen yet, and to find an outdoor range that’s open. 

While wearing red, white, and blue.

Anyone have some other suggestions?

bons vivants, 4/? (ten/rose chef AU)

bons vivants (n.) (french) plural, a person who is living the good life; someone who lives luxuriously and enjoys good food and drink
ten/rose, chef AU
chapter 1 | chapter 2 | chapter 3

He is consumed with her.

Her smell, her taste, the feel of her skin; he thinks of her every moment he is awake and dreams of her at night. He has taken himself in his hand, wanked like a teenager in his bed, on his sofa (on pillows where the scent of her hair and her arousal can still be detected by his kitchen-honed sense of smell), in the shower, all to his memories and imagination. He’s pretty sure he didn’t even wank like this when he was actually 16.

He hears her voice, the way it trembled between kisses and the jangling bells of her laugh. Sometimes he thinks he even feels her breath on his cheek. But the universe, it seems, is conspiring to keep them apart: months of reservations on the books at both their restaurants, a small (manageable, but frustrating nonetheless) grease fire at The Powell Estate causing her to cancel their next hastily-planned date at the last moment; a less-small flood when one of the industrial ice makers breaks cancelling the one after that.

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getting REAL TIRED of dudes referring to each other as women as an insult

me: have you decided on dinner?
dude #1: after you, ladies first [chuckling]
me: [loudly, annoyed] not that that’s an insult or anything, you know, being a woman
dudes: [awkward looks back and forth]
dudes: riiiiiiiight
dude #2: so, i’ll take the burger, medium rare…