medical slang

Medical personnel have some amazing slang and acronyms

Most people who will appreciate this probably won’t need explanations, but they’re included just in case.  None of these are official, and I do not professionally condone their usage.

PCTTJ - Patient Care Transferred To Jesus (death after personnel on-scene)

FDGB- Fall Down Go Boom (when the cause of injury is a fall)

FDSS - Found Dead Stayed Same (dead on arrival)

MAGGOT- Medically Able to Go Get Other Transportation (patient called ambulance unnecessarily)

Toilet Paper My Ass - Tricuspid , Pulmonic, Mitral and Aortic (the four areas to listen to with a stethoscope)

One-Delta-Ten-Tango - Idiot (number 1 for I, Delta from NATO alphabet for D, number 10 for IO, Tango from NATO alphabet for T)

Normasaline- Normal saline (administered in place of pain medication when patient requests it unnecessarily)

TNTC - Too Numerous To Count (used as the chief complaint when the patient has an extensive, probably fictional list of complaints)

Incarceritis - Using medical problem to delay incarceration (refers to fairly common practice of subjects under arrest to report a usually fictional chest pain/other conditions)

GVG- Granny versus Gravity (refers to tendency of seniors, especially women, to require EMS attention after falling)

I could go on, but you get the idea

Most obvious title. Least obvious route getting there.

5 Pop Culture Classics That Almost Had Truly Terrible Titles

#5. House Was Once Called Chasing Zebras, Circling the Drain

That absurdist nonsense is medical slang. “Chasing zebras” refers to medical cases where symptoms of a rare illness present themselves as a more common illness. Like Foreman says in the pilot episode: “If you hear hoof beats, you think horses, not zebras.” “Circling the drain” is exactly as it sounds: patients on the verge of death.

That title perfectly described House: doctors who are attempting to diagnose the undiagnosable. It also sounds like the title of a Salvador Dali painting, or a doctor show starring Dali himself, where all his cures involve rearranging people’s guts into surrealist shapes that his underlings don’t understand, but they don’t want to look stupid, so they just nod in agreement.

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Look Both Ways Before You Cross My Heart

Angst Week Bonus Day 1: Cross My Heart

Pairing: Gajevy

Summary: When Gajeel becomes the victim of a legendary disease, he learns the hard way that love can be as uplifting as it can be deadly.
“The patient coughs up flower petals when they suffer from unrequited love.”

You can also read it on FFnet.

It all started on a normal day. Juvia had come over to Gajeel’s place in order to make him taste the heart-shaped cookies she had baked for Gray. Being Juvia’s closest friend and having known her the longest, it was only natural that he would be the one tasting them. Juvia had excellent baking skills, so he never understood why she didn’t trust herself enough to directly make Gray eat her baked goods. Gajeel wasn’t one to complain though.

He grabbed one out of the plate and put the entire cookie in his mouth. Without any surprise, Gajeel started humming as he chewed, fully satisfied by how good it tasted. He snorted when he saw the usual bright smile that set on Juvia’s face. She always seems so surprised, he thought.

He finished swallowing the last piece of cookie left in his mouth when a sharp pain stung the inside of his chest. He froze, feeling the pain traveling all the way up to his throat. His face twitched as he violently coughed into his hand, and to his surprise, something came out. He hid the thing in his hand then, and he told Juvia that he had just swallowed a piece of cookie down the wrong pipe.

He knew he lied. The texture of the thing was far more different than that of a coughed-up cookie. He waited for her to saunter off his place to finally have a look at what put him in so much pain earlier. He opened his hand and his studded eyebrows furrowed at the alien sight. Resting on his palm was a blue rose petal. He stood there with his eyebrows furrowed for quite some time, wondering when and how he managed to swallow a flower, but when Lily came in, he quickly slid the blue petal in his pocket and elected to ignore it.

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