medic phone

another coping post, people have told me to update it a bit and not limit the skills to delusions and auditory hallucinations. so now, the bigger and better coping post for psychotic symptoms (not just schizophrenia!) and i won’t do the “keep reading” thing, even though it’s a veeeery big post, because i kind of want people to see it. 

First off

try to manage your stress - psychotic symptoms has quite a lot to with stress. it’s also important for any mental health issue. 

don’t “self-medicate” - marijuana has shown to make psychotic symptoms worse and makes the risk of falling back into a psychosis bigger. other substances that can trigger/worsen/even cause psychotic symptoms are cocaine, speed, crystal meth, ecstasy, LSD, magic mushrooms and ketamine

take care of yourself - selfcare, mindfulsness, exercise, eat reguraly and healthy, sleep well… you get the idea.

know your early signs - it’s good to know when you start getting signs of another episode, so you can adjust your medication or talk to your doctor more often so you can avoid another episode. early signs may be sleeping less or more, isolation, being annoyed or thinking “is medication even necessery?” i

don’t isolate youself - this is a early symptom for me, before i get a psychotic episode, i often isolate myself and hate the world. that often lead to me being alone with my delusions and they get worse. so try to see friends often, especially when you have early signs. 

Auditory hallucinations

relax - voices are often caused by stress, so try to focus on your breathing.

distract yourself - focus on a task or watch tv.

ask your voices a question, that you dont know the answer to - if they dont know the answer the voices must be coming from within you.

background sounds - people have reported that listening to music or having the tv on sort of drowns the voices.

talk back to your voices - ask them to leave and say no if they order you to do things, remind yourself who’s in control.

know your triggers - it may help to keep a diary of when the voices are more active.

medication - modern anti-psychotics are 80-90% effective in revieling voices and will often make them disappear.

hum or sing - it drowns the voices as well as distract you.

read out loud - same with hum or sing

open your mouth really wide - i have no idea why or if this works, but you can try it! 

just a symptom - try to think of your voices as just a symptom, and not something that has a special meaning. after all, it’s just a random thought you can hear.


Visual hallucinations

this is quite a hard one, i haven’t experienced much visual hallucinations, so i don’t personally know what works and what doesn’t. and i don’t find much about it on internet. if you have any coping skills for visual hallucinations, let me know and i’ll include it! 

take a picture - if you’re unsure something is there you can try taking a picture 

turn away - or break eye contact, leave the room. if you don’t see it it’s not there 

shine on them  - if you see shadows you can try shining light on them from your phone flashlight 

medication - well, yeah, you get the idea. they work. 

five senses method -  acknowledge five things you can see; four things you can touch; three things you can hear; two things you can smell; one things you can taste. 

•  keep your pet near - if you have a pet it may help to tell you if something is real or not. if your pet doesn’t react you can assume it’s not real. 


Delusions

distraction - try to take your mind of it, even though it’s not that simple.

give them facts - checking facts and statistics may help

talk about them - in my case, the more i talked about my thoughts, the more unrealistic they seemed. That may not happen to everyone, but it is helpful to talk about them.

know your trigggers - delusions are also good to know when they’re more active.

medication - antipsychotis aren’t just helping for your hallucinations, but other symptoms as well - including delusions.


Disorganized speech

• count from one to three - start by thinking about (visualizing) the numbers in your head and focus on them before saying them aloud to align thought and speech centres of your brain.


Other symptoms 

trust me, i really wish i knew how to cope with the other symptoms. i don’t personally have much advice, and i can’t find much on internet, but if any of you know how to cope with these symptoms*, let me know and i’ll include it!

*some other symptoms are:

negative symtptoms - this could be not having energy, feeling indifferent towards things and gestures may decrease. 

catatonic behaviour - a bit more rare. it’s when the person stops moving and can be completely still for a long period of time. 

disorganized behaviour - appears as a decline in overall daily functioning, unpredictable or inappropriate emotional responses, behaviors that can appear bizarre and have no purpose, lack of impulse control. 

trouble thinking -  having too much thoughts or having slow thoughts

trouble functioning in social situations, isolation, trouble handling jobs or everyday chores. 


also, a big thank you to you guys who come with advice, you’re awesome 

Escape: the medical school years

The phone rang at 12:30 a.m.  Six thirty p.m. in Chicago.  

“Tell me everything,” the voice rasped.

“It’s fine, lad.  I said so in my text.  I was right there.  He didna ken what hit him,” the old man chuckled.

“Did Claire see ye?”  Jamie’s voice was vibrating with anger. 

“No, mac mo charaid,” the old man smiled.  “Yer wife was caperin’ about tryin’ to avoid the puddles, taking the long way by path to the car. I streaked across the grass and had time to open the door before she lifted her head in the rain. She missed the whole thing.” 

There was a long pause on the other end.  The line crackled across the ocean.

“I owe ye, mo sheann charaid.”


Claire’s least favourite class was immunology. Some days it was incredibly boring to her.  Today was that day.  Her phone vibrated and she welcomed the distraction.  Turning it over she unlocked it with her pass code, and looked at it.

Snapchat. 

She hit the little yellow button and gasped.  Holding the phone to her chest she blushed furiously.  Damn you, James Fraser.  She giggled.  She hid the phone under the long table and hit the replay button.  God he was beautiful. He showed just enough of his naked body without exposing himself.  Tease

She took a shot of her notes, then captioned it, “trying to concentrate, thanks.” 

The phone vibrated again.  She dared not look.  Dammit, she couldn’t help it.  He didn’t disappoint.

“Concentrate on this,” he had typed.  Lying back in bed, raised eyebrow, half smirk.  She hugged the phone again.  It was what? Two o’clock in the morning in Chicago?  

Are you drunk? she wrote.  

Maybe, he wrote back.

Claire had an idea.  An awkward one, but an idea.  Pulling out the bottom of her t-shirt she took a couple of pictures.  Not quite…. She tried again.  Bingo. She sent the snap back.  And waited.

It didn’t take long before the ‘screenshot’ notification popped up.  

She giggled, and decided to send one last message.  She held the button, and took a video.  “I miss you, James Fraser. I love you, and I’ll call you later. Good night, my love. Wish I was there.” she whispered, and blew a kiss.  Pressing send she tucked her phone away, and tried to concentrate once more.

Jamie watched the video, smiling, then sat bolt upright in bed.  No. No fucking way. 

He watched it again, focusing on the background this time.  There he was. Horrocks.  Off to her left, behind her.  Horrocks, sporting a very black eye, and a bruise on his neck.  

Horrocks.  Looking at Claire with a mixture of anger and jealousy that made his blood run cold.  

He watched her in class.  All the time. She was so bloody beautiful. Naturally beautiful, and sexy. The worst part was she didn’t even try. She had no idea of the effect she had on men.  Those brown eyes, and curly hair couldn’t help but make most men think of dark nights and tangled sheets.  She was smart, with a sharp wit, and a wicked tongue.  His mind swirled every day conjuring ways to get her alone.  If he could just spend some time with her, flirt a bit, see if he could break through.  He’d tempted women before.  Married, engaged, dating, it didn’t matter.  He was charming, and fairly good looking.  But Claire would be a challenge.  Newly married, she was still in the honeymoon phase.  Ah, well, he liked a challenge.  He hated men like Fraser.  Good looking bastards born into money always getting women like Claire.  He was the son of a blue collar worker from Northern Ireland with little money.  He was making okay grades, but the luck of the Irish gave him a study group that included three of the smartest people in his year.  Claire being gorgeous was an added bonus. The three of them were so sanctimonious, so serious.  He wanted to be a doctor just for the prestige of it.  Just so he could go back to his hometown and be lauded over.  It wasn’t to save people, to help humanity. Fuck humanity. Humanity never served him, living without all his life.  He wanted what men like Fraser had…a posh flat that he could renovate into something even better.  To have a woman like Claire on his arm and in his bed.  He’d have that one day. But he wanted Claire now.  That little exchange he witnessed told him all he needed to know.  Fraser was out of town.  The time to strike was now.


“Dinna leave the flat, Alec.  And keep an eye.  Stay parked outside.  Tell her she needs to text ye when she’s comin’ out, so ye ken if he’s kept her behind. And –“

“Trust me, Jamie, lad,” the old man cut him off.  Alec wished Jamie wouldn’t worry so much.  He’d proved he could take care of her, didn’t he?

“I do.  It’s him I dinna trust. Not as far as I can spit.  A Dhia, Alec. If anythin’ were to happen…”  

Alec was conscious of the conversation he’d had earlier in the day as they drove up to Horrocks’ flat for the study session. He kept a keen eye out for Joe Abernathy’s vehicle, as described by Jamie.  As yet, he didn’t see it.  

“Here, Alec.  I’ll get out here.”  Claire started to gather the bag at her feet.  

“Claire, I’ll no’ be droppin’ ye off until I see that yer other friends are here.”  

Claire was surprised by Alec’s tone.  He normally didn’t speak to her like that.  Plus, he always called her ‘ma’am’.  She looked at him as twilight began to darken the interior of the car.  “What?” she said.  

“I said, I’ll no’ be droppin’ ye off until I ken yer whole group is here.”  Claire watched as Alec’s eyes darted to and fro, taking in every vehicle, all his surroundings.  As nice as he was, she didn’t know much about him.  Seems still waters ran deep.  

He pulled around to the back of the building.  Still nothing. “Ma’am. Would ye do me a wee favour?” He gave her a glance and she nodded. His lighter tone was back.  He really was a puzzle.  “Text one of yer friends for me, please. See where they are?  Maybe just runnin’ late is all.”

“I’ll do you one better,” she said, and pulled out her phone to give Joe a quick call.  He answered right away.  

“Hi!” Claire said.  “Are you upstairs at Robert’s?”

She listened for a minute, and then her head swiveled sharply toward Alec.  He slowed the car and stopped at the corner.  “I see.  So where are you and Fiona now, then?”  Another pause.  

“Yes.  Okay. I’ll be there soon.”  She pushed the button on her cell to disconnect the call.

“Weel, Ma’am?”  Alec raised an eyebrow.  

Claire had to smile, just a little.  Must be a damn Scottish trait, that eyebrow. It’s how they say I told you so.

“Apparently Robert sent out a group text saying he wasn’t feeling well and had to cancel.”  She pulled up her texts and starting going through them all.  He waited patiently for her to figure out what he’d suspected ten minutes ago.  

She looked at Alec.  “I never got it.  Joe said he answered the group text that he and Fiona were meeting anyway, but I never got that one either.”

Alec kept his voice level.  Conversational, so he didn’t scare her.  “So, where to then?”  

“Campus,” she said, distracted.  “They’re at the pizza place on the corner because Joe got hungry.”  She stared out into the falling darkness that was starting to surround Edinburgh. The cold chill she got the night at the library returned.  It didn’t make sense.  Surely, it was just an oversight.  

Horrocks watched the Range Rover from his second story window as it slid past his building for the third time.  Hands clenched into fists, he watched his carefully made plans crumble before his eyes.  The driver was the problem. He knew it now.   As hard as it was to believe that the old man took him down the other night, there was no other explanation for it.  And fuck Joe Abernathy.  He was always checking in with Claire.  He was sure Joe threw a wrench in the plans, as well.  

As he watched the car turn off his street, he made a decision.


Thursday was the one night that Claire gave herself off.  Thursday night she and Jamie always had dinner together and just relaxed.  With him away she decided to catch up on chores. She changed into sweat pants and one of Jamie’s long sleeved Scottish rugby team shirts that was way too big on her, but made her feel surrounded by him.  Smelled like him, too.  She was just throwing a load of laundry in the washer when the doorbell rang. 

What the hell?  She walked over to the door and peered through the eye hole. 

She stepped back, fast.

What the hell was he doing here?  Her first thought was to pretend she wasn’t home. But the lights were on.

The bell rang again and she jumped. Dammit.  Taking a deep breath she opened the door, but left the chain on.

“Robert.  What’s up?”  Claire kept her voice cool.

Horrocks cocked his head to the side and raised his eyebrows.  “Did you not see it was me?”  He waved a hand at the peep hole.

“Well, yes, but I wasn’t expecting you.  Is something wrong?”  

He stood there in his denim jacket and jeans, entirely too close to the door.  He was tall, but not as tall as Jamie.  He wasn’t as big either, yet still intimidating to a woman of her size.  His longish hair and scruffy beard made him look unkempt, but it was the facial bruises that were the most frightening, really. Then he started speaking, and his soft Irish lilt made him seem less intense.  

“I wanted to apologize for yesterday’s mix up. I had such a migraine and Fiona told me today I’d left you off the group chat.  I didn’t mean to, Claire.  I’m sorry I caused you such inconvenience.”  His icy blue eyes stayed steady on hers. He sounded sincere. But, those eyes.  They were so cold compared to the warmth in Jamie’s sky blue ones.  

“It’s fine. But you needn’t come all the way over here to apologize.”

“Actually, I was hoping to cram in a bit of a study with you. Since I missed last night.  If you’re free?” he stammered.  “Joe was busy tonight, and Fiona didn’t answer my text so…I took a chance.  Should I go?”  He took a step toward the stairs, hesitating. Waiting. 

Claire warred with herself.  Jamie would be furious.  But how to refuse? And with what excuse?  She closed the door gently, and paused.  Taking a deep breath she took down the chain.

“Two hours,” she said, in her best no nonsense nursing voice.  “Then I have to get to bed”

Horrocks smiled.  Just what I was thinking.  

3

hello! i’m eli and i’m 16 years old (in the first pic i’m 7!)

when i was 2 years old, i began to develop an eating disorder and no one knew the name or anything about it, it is now known as avoidant/restrictive food intake disorder or ARFID. it’s different from most eating disorders in that it’s sensory linked and has little do do with body image. basically, most of my life i’ve only been able to eat very few different kinds of foods. i’m still harassed and teased for my eating disorder by my family and by random strangers today.

when i was about 13, i began to hit a downward slope. i stopped doing homework and i stopped studying and would be beyond exhausted from school. i was diagnosed originally with a depressive disorder unspecified and an anxiety disorder unspecified

after rounds and rounds of med changes and therapist after therapist, it was evident that nothing was working. i was then diagnosed with ADHD and OCD. this was about a year ago

and then i began to get very ill, with extreme migraines nearly everyday and constant nausea. every illness is always blamed on my eating disorder, so that is what happened there. i was basically told that i was going to die if i didnt get rid of my eating disorder. it was terrifying and no one believed me when i said i felt like i literally couldnt physically eat foods that werent ‘safe’ for me.

about a month ago i was put into an impatient program for my eating disorder in which i was abused (i’m not going to go into details, but if you’d like to know more, you can message me. sharing what happened to me in a way helps me feel better, especially with those who can relate). i was so lucky to get out of the program after a week, when our insurance stopped covering the program at the claim that i’d had ARFID for so long that i would never be able to get rid of it (what the insurance company said saved me but was also very crushing). i’m still suffering trauma from the abuse and i have nightmares nearly every night about it and i have an extreme fear of being locked up and my thought broadcasting paranoia has worsened

i discovered that i might be autistic about 6 months ago, when i first learned how comorbid my eating disorder was with autism. however, i was unable to tell anyone due to the fact that i usually go mute when having to talk about hard subjects and after my trauma, i worried that a professional autism diagnosis would have me locked up in a hospital even more easily.

last week after visiting my doctor, i learned that they have found out that i am most likely autistic. i have to go back to the hospital in which i was abused for an autism assessment. i am relieved to finally have a diagnosis but beyond terrified to return to that hospital.

so yeah, a lot of stories on here end in nice closure but i’m still getting there. my school situation is still very bad and i still have chronic migraines as well as prediabetes from my ARFID. i’ve not always been confident about my disabilities and disorders, and i now feel like i am on the inside, even if it’s hard for me to show on the outside. 

i hope you all wish me luck, i love hearing all your stories you are all so incredible and help me to move along so much. #noshameday

anonymous asked:

i saw a post about how when youre living in abusive situations you should keep a backpack full of necessities and soothing things so that if you need to leave bc ur in danger or upset youre prepared!! do you have any suggestions for putting that together if this makes sense?

sure, you can check this post (link), this tag, and here’s a list of some important things to bring (not everything will apply to everyone);

There are a few approaches to this. In my opinion, it’s a good idea to have a bag packed with everything you need ready to go and to store it somewhere accessible; if there’s a shed outside for example, that’s often easier to get to in an emergency. If you use a backpack or handbag every day, you can also put a lot of these things in it and make a point to return them after you use them, so it’s ready to go if and when you need to make a quit escape, and this can also help you avoid suspicion from your abuser/s. 

This list is huge because I’m trying to make sure I don’t leave off anything that may be important, but you likely won’t need everything here. Needs vary from person to person.

Money: Cash is ideal, and hold onto as much as you can. If you can open a secret bank account and move some money into it, that can help too especially if your abuser has access to your usual account. If you open another account with your current bank, the process is often easier and some banks have a system where they can link your accounts which makes it easier to transfer money between them (and the transfers are often instant). You can also keep gift cards for grocery stores (if you want to store food stamp vouchers, look into how long you can hold them before they expire, I’m outside the US so I can’t advise). 

Mobile phone: ideally, a fully charged phone (and pack the charger too) on an active plan in your own name or with credit on it, but even a phone without money on it can be used to call emergency services. If money permits, you can also pack a phone, SIM card, and recharge voucher, though both SIM cards and recharge vouchers do expire. Familiarise yourself with how to set up the SIM or set it up beforehand (but again, some expire after 30 days so how you approach that will depend). You may also want to find out whether your country publishes numbers in their directory - sometimes you can request that your number be kept silent.  

Keys: even if you’re not planning on returning. Whatever you usually take when you leave the house (e.g. wallet, keys and phone) should come with you. Getting copies of your keys to keep in your bag is a good idea. 

Contacts: support services for survivors of abuse often have fold-out papers that look like business cards and have phone numbers of support agencies you can call in a crisis. It’s also a good idea to have hard copies of the phone numbers of friends, family, caseworkers etc in case you can’t access your phone for any reason. 

Documents: ID documents (such as your birth certificate, citizenship papers, passport, drivers license, social security cards, proof of age card etc), bank and credit cards, medical insurance proof/medicare cards, restraining orders, adoption papers, custody arrangement papers, rental agreements, and copies of any statements made to police. It’s also a good idea to get copies; you can get verified true copies by getting a Justice of the Peace to sign them, and scanning or photographing your paperwork is a good idea. You can also do this with ID cards; photocopy front and back and get these witnessed by a JoP. 

Clothes: This depends on season and weather but always bring changes of undergarments including socks, and wear closed shoes. Focus on utility rather than fashion when you pack, and try to bring something for all weather in your area. Layering to stay warm is a good approach as you can add or remove layers as the weather requires.

Weather gear: raincoat, umbrella, sleeping bag, sun hat, sunscreen, insect repellant, sunglasses, thermal undergarments, a thick jumper/jacket and the like. 

Miscellaneous: A lighter, torch, batteries, a notebook or paper and pen, and any other tools you tend to use.

Hygeine and personal care: Medications and prescriptions, toothbrush and paste, menstrual pads or tampons, baby wipes/wet wipes (even if you don’t usually use them, they’re really handy), tissues, soap, banaids and antiseptic (or a small first aid kit if possible) and anything else you use regularly. 

Keepsakes: anything you don’t want to lose that you can carry, so things like jewelery (which can also potentially be sold or borrowed against), small electronics like tablets, diaries, photographs, mementos, etc. Things like stimtoys are a good idea too, and books if you like to read. 

Items for kids: a pacifier, nappies, wet wipes, clean bottles, onesies, blankets, toys, teething gel, any papers about their custody/guardianship and birth certificates.  

Bedding: A small pillow such as a travel pillow or an inflatable one, and a sleeping bag can be helpful (even with accommodation, sometimes the beds provided are less than stellar). 

If you need to pack light: focus on ‘wallet, keys phone’, medication and hygeine, and try to bring a couple changes of undergarments and socks. Anything you’d take for a night away from home should come with you. 

Other advice: Change your digital passwords, clear your internet history and cache, and delete anything your abuser/s could use against you. If you feel comfortable, tell a neighbour what’s going on and make a plan that you can go to them for help if needed. Look into the various safety apps available and try some out with a friend. Scope out your local area and find any phone booths, stores open 24/7, police stations (and other emergency services buildings), and anywhere you could go to for help in a crisis. 

Hopefully I’ve covered everything but feel free to add!

Anonymous Story : Make or Break

It was around 1230 in the morning. We were dispatched to a routine chest pain call. The patient said he had a heart condition and had an appointment with his specialist 80 miles away in the morning. He signed out AMA rather than get transported by ambulance a few hours earlier. While we were getting the paperwork signed, tones dropped for another call. “Medic ___ , Medic ___ Battalion 1, 3, 4, Command, respond ALS Red for CPR in progress on a one year old”. None of us flinched…

We packed up our gear, signed out the paperwork and left calmly without rushing the patient while he was taking his sweet time. We were 50/50 to being the closest medic unit to the scene. About 5-7 miles out from the call. We go en-route and rush to the scene. Another medic unit, 2 chiefs and 2 chaplains are on scene. Walking up I remember my heart racing. This was going to be my first code as a firefighter. I walked through the sliding glass door and immediately to my right I see a woman crying uncontrollably while a man comforts her, looking stunned. I look in the doorway ahead where I see a crowd of uniforms. In the center of the room I can see a small pale pair of legs moving every time a chest compression is done. I wait patiently outside the room unit it is my turn to swap in for chest compressions. When it is my turn I step in and kneel down just like my training says and use 2-3 fingers for CPR. No training prepares you for the feeling of a lifeless child underneath your fingertips, or the look on the child’s face, eyes closed, getting breaths from a bag valve mask. The feeling of lungs expanding under your fingers, or the sound of air passing through the trachea. After a few more rounds we all look around and the medic picks up the phone to get a declaration of death. Not required but a good idea for calls that might go to court. We all leave the room one by one and walk outside. Passing the parents who are still sobbing, you can see they realize what is now happening. They see the medic begin to walk over to them and tell them the same tired, but true line “Sorry, we did everything we could but unfortunately we were not able to save your son. “ We step outside and take in a few breaths of fresh air, many of us holding back the emotion that this call has brought out in all of us. We clean up our mess and leave the body in the room, making sure someone stays inside until deputies arrived and secure the now crime scene for investigation. We head back to quarters and shortly after laying in bed we get tapped out to another chest pain call. This time 18-20 miles away and it turned out to be an elderly woman with anxiety who just needed some company 

Moments like this are moments that define your career and can make or break you. This job isn’t for the faint of heart. I dont even believe this is a job at all. It’s a calling. And nothing is going to take away my love for this career.

5

Why am I doing commissions? - Basically, same reason as before. I’m in a shit financial situation. It’s just my mom (who is chronically ill) and myself (who is mentally ill) so I’m doing commissions to earn money for important things like gas, medications, electricity, phone/internet, ect. I just got a job, but I still need some income in between paychecks and stuff since I’m not making that much.

Want to see examples of my art? You can go to @hungry-hobbits-art (that’s my art blog) or feel free to contact me here (hungry-hobbits is my personal) or at tothemoonivan@aol.com

I’ll draw for just about any fandom and I’ll totally draw your OC’s! There are things I won’t draw but I don’t want to waste space so click on my blogs commissions tab for more info.

I accept payments through paypal only (using the email listed above)

Please help me out. Signal boosting is appreciated!

gaymyg  asked:

i love your blog SO much!! 💞💖💗 i was wondering if you could do BTS reaction to their trans boyfriend who's just had top surgery? Like, just came home from the hospital? ⚡️⚡️❗️💘💐

Seokjin:

As soon as you got home form the hospital, Seokjin would be in care-taking mode, and you better believe that means cooking for you as soon as you were up to solid food. As serious as he’d be about watching to make sure you were recovering well, not much in this world would prevent Seokjin from cracking jokes to keep you smiling through the trying time. “You must be relieved to have gotten that off your chest.”

Yoongi:

Worry, worry, worry. Even after you got out of surgery safely, Yoongi would be in a pretty constant state of concern, though he may not make it very obvious. Most of his care would be behind the scenes, keeping you fed and hydrated, monitoring your bandaging and medication, etc. ”Just focus on healing up, alright?”

Hoseok:

Hoseok would first and foremost be excited for you! A day you’ve been waiting for for so long has finally arrived! Though you’d be bedridden and physically in pain, Hoseok would be a constant distraction and one-man cheer-up team, taking spare moments to dance around by your bedside in between bringing you cards from your loved ones and pain meds. “What an exciting new beginning! We’ll celebrate again once you’re back on your feet, okay?”

Namjoon:

“Do you need anything? Medication? Food? Water? Music? Phone? No? Okay… What about now?” Namjoon would absolutely hover, just because he looked up all of the possible side effects and complications of top surgery recovery and got himself a little bit paranoid. In concern based in love, he would be as attentive as he would generally supportive.

Jimin:

Atop his layer of concern and attention to your needs, Jimin would sit by your bedside, take your hand, and discuss the future awaiting you now that you’re post-op. “What do you think about heading to the beach this summer, shirts off? I want to show your new chest off to the world.” Realistic or not, he’d keep you coming up with plans for endless things to do and try now that you’re out of your binder.

Taehyung:

“Your scars are coming in so handsome. I guess that was to be expected, though, huh?” Not only would Taehyung dote on you, he would fall in love your new chest. For hours he would go on, talking excitedly about how amazing your flat chest came out, and how the confidence you gain from each step of your transition just makes you more handsome in his eyes.

Jungkook:

Jungkook would work to keep you occupied while you’re bedridden, knowing it must be hard to truly appreciate the change while spending weeks in bed. To distract you from the physical and mental discomfort of recovery, he’d play games with you, eat with you, and even set up a movie on his laptop for you two to watch together. “It looks like I’ll just have to bring our dates to you for a while.”

Phone Calls- Hank x Reader

 Request: Hank mccoy during apocalypse where he’s married to a human doctor and lots of cute couple stuff and like him just watching her talk medical stuff on the phone and being all cute and loving.

Originally posted by theinsatiablevoid

“Alright just send me the labs when you get them.” You spoke into the phone, scribbling untidy notes on your slip of paper. Your eyes shifted to Hank who was sitting at a table a few feet away. His chin was resting in his hand and he was staring at you with a small smile on his face. “What Hank?” you whispered to him, covering the phone’s receiver with your hand. 

“Nothing,” he grinned, “I just love watching you work.” You smiled, your gaze dropping to the floor, and your face growing warm. 

“What? sorry, yes I’m listening.” You suddenly spoke to your medical colleague again. Stop distracting Me, you mouthed at Hank, tossing a crumpled piece of paper at him. He laughed and instead of returning to his own work he had to finish, he got out of his chair and walked over to you. You gave him a serious stare as if to say, I’m not kidding, this conversation is important. Hank however, ignored warning glare and wrapped his long arms around you waist, hugging you gently from behind. He rested his chin on your shoulder. “Hank.” you said quietly, “I need to finish this call for my job.” You slowly unhooked his hands from around your waist and turned to face him. As much as you just wanted to sit with him, or even be close to him, you did have to get stuff done for your work. 

“Alright.” He sighed, giving you puppy dog eyes and kissed you on your forehead, returning to his desk. You bit your lip to hold back a smile, trying to return your full attention to your phone call, but you kept catching Hank’s eye, making you both laugh each time.

Leave me alone

Now that i have been attacked openly by this person, I feel it necessary to tell my side of the story. It probably will not matter to anyone concerned, but I am outraged that anyone would call me the things that this person has, and I will be damned if I take that in silence.

Ru approached the first week of November and began asking me questions, as per the usual way that readers do. To which, I replied politely. They gave me very helpful feedback on their impression reading one segment of my diary. That very week the elections happened. Ru was distraught and threatened to kill themselves. I spent almost six hours talking to them, encouraging them not to do anything rash. It occurred to me, about half way through that process, that this person was not going to hurt themselves, but was instead in need of someone to talk to. I can understand that, and if I could be of service, it did not harm me to console them. I kept in contact.

Shortly after that, i began a Tumblr-based social club to watch movies. It was very successful, and Ru was a very central part of that group, coming to nearly all the showings we organized. Ru’s family troubles, their depression, their habits, and their tendency not to eat became of grave importance to the group. We all encouraged Ru to leave the abusive household and to eat regular meals. Such that Ru and I made a bargain - I promised to write Ru a personal letter with a sketch inside if Ru could show me they had eaten 1700 calories a day for one week. This happened, and I did, in fact, send that letter. Ru spoke to me literally every day, and even received a Christmas present from me. Ru also asked if they could refer to me as a parent figure or father figure. I consented.

But then Ru’s behavior became somewhat problematic, from mocking other people’s reactions to certain films or shows, to making bizarre statements and going suddenly offline. On the day we watched “Django Unchained”, it was a few days after the death of a friend of mine. I was depressed. Ru opted out of the film, because films involving racism tend to trigger them, which is perfectly understandable. We all said farewell. About fifteen minutes later, Ru reentered the chatroom, and instantly began railing about the film. Ru objected to the use of certain words, to the content, to anything that had anything to do with the history. Ru claimed that the one scene in the movie that mocks the KKK as the idiots they are was “humanizing them” to which, several of us said we did not think it did any such thing. To me, it made racists look of sub-par intelligence. Buffoons. Ru became completely inconsolable and accused the entire group (which was not all white) of being racists and KKK sympathizers. Ru then said they “hate all white people”. I was angry, because I thought that Ru had purposefully involved themselves in a situation that would make them angry and was now taking out all their feelings on everyone in the room, instead of the people who truly deserve to be treated in such a way. I left the room. For two hours, Ru insisted on messaging me, demanding to know why I was being a racist. I said I was not. Ru insisted that I believed in “reverse racism” because I told them that they were being rude and distracting from the film. I denied that, but asked Ru why they felt that they needed to assume everyone in the group was white, and why they had come to the film if they knew it would trigger them to lash out against their friends. They then came back to the room with me and apologized for being so upset and saying what they said.

They then remained friends with our group for several more weeks, but I noticed that their behavior toward everyone was particularly odd. They would tell one person one thing and then tell another person something different. On a Friday, they came into the group and told the several of us present that they had accidentally overdosed the previous evening by taking 3 of their antidepressant medications with a bottle of wine, and that while delirious, set up a timed Tumblr post to trigger at midnight, if they couldn’t wake up to undo that scheduled post. According to Ru, the post read “If you see this I have died”. At once, this rang as bizarre to me. I asked why, if they felt so ill, and were afraid they might not wake up they didn’t call an ambulance? How, if that ill and that frightened, could they type and then schedule a Tumblr post? They said that it was quite alright, that everything was fine and they were no longer in danger, that it wouldn’t happen again because they had developed a system for making sure they didn’t accidentally take too many pills when they were drinking.

The very next evening, I received several frantic messages from multiple members of the group, demanding that I give them Ru’s address, because they needed to call an ambulance. I asked why. I am not about to give someone’s address out to complete strangers. The members said that Ru had accidentally taken too many medications and needed help. I messaged Ru, and received no reply. One of the others who had messaged me was apparently on the telephone with Ru and said that Ru was completely incoherent and groggy, and that they had told Ru to go vomit up the medications, but the phone line had gone dead. I messaged Ru again, demanding that they reply to me, that if they did not I wouldn’t speak to them again, and I would call the police. About one minute elapsed, and I received a perfectly spelled and completely coherent message saying that they couldn’t speak to me, because they were on the phone with the other person. Except that that call had terminated several minutes before. They then went on to say they had taken 2 pills by mistake, when just the previous evening, they had said that 2 was their normal dose, and 3 was too much. This discrepancy concerned me.

I could be wrong, but a person dying of an OD, who is incoherent one moment is not going to vomit up pills and be perfectly fine the next. I was confused and suspicious. I showed the chat conversation to the other concerned parties, and they agreed with my suspicions. One of these people had lost a friend to an overdose, and was instantly very angry and hurt. They blocked Ru that instant. The other wrote Ru a long letter saying they wanted distance from Ru. When Ru saw that letter, they came to me and demanded to know why this was happening. I confronted Ru and told them that it seemed very obvious that their two “accidental” overdoses were planned. They denied nothing. I told them I had nothing to say to them and this this type of action was going to cost them friends.

Several others blocked Ru, as I understand it, not based on anything I said, but based upon more of Ru’s behavior (of which I was not told). Ru again came to me and asked what they could do to repair their friendships. I instructed them to apologize and admit what they’d done and then attempt to work their way back into the group by being honest and compassionate to the others.

They then turned around and went to the ones who had been involved, and wrote apology letters admitting to faking the overdoses. However, after a week, with no one willing to speak to them still, Ru came to me and spent literally five hours telling me why I had ruined all their friendships by spreading lies, that I was unhealthy for them, that I was ruining their life. I told them if they felt that way they could block me and that that was perfectly fine with me. They then said “but I don’t blame you.” As if after saying such malicious things and doing such malicious things for weeks could be erased by saying, “but I don’t blame you”. Why should I be blamed for Ru’s behavior? They then said that they “never lied except to lie about the overdoses.” I asked what that meant. Ru said that those false OD’s were actually suicide attempts, and that they lied to everyone about having made them up because I told them it was the only way to get their friends back. That is plainly untrue. I told them to tell the truth. I told them what it looked like and that they alone could explain. That aside, it became apparent that they blamed their lack of contact with the others one one person: me. Regardless of all that, the circumstances also don’t match suicide attempts, because the amounts of medications they claimed to take versus their normal doses, still made no sense. I realized that this was all a game to them, that we people on the internet are pawns and some kind of psychological pleasure was derived from playing us off each other.

I then asked Ru to leave me alone and finally blocked them.

For weeks now, Ru has attempted to contact me via all my other social networks saying things like “If you don’t want to talk to me you should block me.” So I obliged. I blocked Ru on every single social network. Then Ru began making secondary blogs and contacting all of those who had blocked them via those. I blocked them again. Then Ru tried to send messages to members of the group via mutuals who had not yet blocked. This offended these people, and I assume they blocked Ru. Now Ru has again made new accounts and is out and out calling me a racist. Now I learn that conversations that (happened weeks before we ever parted company) lasted literally hours and worked through many tangents, have been carefully photographed and complied to make me seem as terrible a person as they assert I am.

Never mind that this disagreement over the film took place weeks before they were blocked and no longer welcome to the group. Never mind that this “Call out” took place from two URL’s each belonging to Ru, designed to look as if it came from a group of people who all unanimously hate me. Never mind that I have spent days and even weeks conversing with Ru, trying to get them into a good therapy program, trying to encourage them to apply themselves to school, asking them to be mindful of their health. Hours and hours of conversations in Spanish, in English, and what have you. Never mind that this person called me “Dad”. All Ru cares about is that some people they’ve never met, blocked them because they behaved poorly. We are the villains and they will carefully tweak all our private discourse to fit that narrative. This is manipulative and cruel.

I am hurt. I am offended. But mostly, I am saddened. I cannot believe I trusted someone who clearly does not care about anyone but themselves. I am depressed that I wasted time I could have devoted to someone else. What’s more, I’m angry that this person feels the need to resort to such extremes when all they had to do is walk away. Every week it is something new, and I am the focus of their anger.

I am forced to reexamine everything they ever said to me, about their abusive home life, their relationship with their parents, their discussions of their gender and sexuality. I realize I cannot trust anything they said, and I say this with the full knowledge of the irony in place.

Doubtless Ru will find some way to read this and to tell the world why everything in it is false, and why I am to blame for all their misery, compile and curate more screen caps to outline why I am a wretched bastard. I can only tell you that this is what I experienced, that I never once gave anyone orders demanding that they block Ru. I can only say that the fact that an entire group of people chose to block this person is proof enough of their character, and that has nothing to do with me.

I do not wish to have contact with this person. This person ignores that fact and continues to find ways to harass me, from messaging me, sending me “anons” that are not anonymous because I can track IP’s, messaging others with whom I am in contact, and now, tagging me on posts. I have blocked them numerous times. I am within my rights to do so

If that seems bigoted to you…I cannot help that.

Scattered Memories (Part 4)

Fandom: Criminal Minds

Character Ship: Spencer Reid x Reader

Word Count: 1143

Summary: Once at the hospital the identity of your assailant is finally revealed but that does not mean the case is close to being closed.

Warnings: PTSD, language, mention of suicide (not exactly pertinent to the story though. Literally just one line about it.”

Author’s note: No more scary flashbacks, yea (flashbacks still happening, just not of the act..)!! This request was sent to me and is a part of the story now, don’t read request until after for spoilers

Part 1, Part 3, Part 5 coming soon

Originally posted by dr-spencer-reid-though

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