median-system

Hey

You

Yeah, you.

That otherkin/soulbond/system/fictionkin goin’ through this tag and sifting through the bullshit to find things that matter to you. Struggling hard past the trolls and antis.

You’re valid and shit.

Just a reminder that your beliefs are your own, no one can take your spirituality from you if you’re a spiritual -kin/soulbonder.

That you can’t help your mental illness if that’s what causes your -kin/system/bonds.

You don’t gotta explain yourself/ves to anyone. You don’t owe the world a damn thing.

man. you know what I really wanna do? make a comedy play/tv show script about being in a system.
because let’s be honest, it’s not a dangerous thing, dramatic yes, confusing yes, but not dangerous to people outside of your system.
BUT IT CAN BE HILARIOUS
JUST IMAGINE

  • “Wait, WHAT DO YOU MEAN (bilingual alter) WON’T WAKE UP WE HAVE A TEST TODAY!!!!!”
  • “…who put the body on a roof again?”
  • “uh…”
  • “GODDAMMIT (teenage alter) WHAT DID WE TELL YOU”
  • “…no, no (little), go to bed, it’s past your–No you can’t stay up the body is doing adult stuff– JUST GO TO BED!”
  • “questions we ask the host:
    what’s for dinner?
    what’s this word?
    who’s this?
    how do we talk to this person?
    what’s the equasion for this?
    things we ask (older alter):
    where’s the host?”
  • “okay, careful, careful, careful…AND WE’VE OFFICIALLY GOTTEN OUT OF BED, GOOD WORK PEOPLE, I’M PROUD OF YOU!”
  • “why is everyone asleep it’s literally 7pm?”
  • “why is everyone awake it’s literally 3am?”
  • “can everybody shut up I’m trying to front”
  • “CAN EVERYBODY SHUT UP THIS IS IMPORTANT”
  • arguments about what to do
  • including over what we eat
  • arguments over going to friends’ houses
feel free to add some system friends…
System Ask

1. Give examples of their different writing styles/handwriting.

2. Who argues a lot?

3. Does anyone have any weird habits that they do with the body that annoy the others?

4. Who makes cofronting the worst decision ever?

5. Do you have any alters/headmates you keep away from your friends at all costs? (because they are embarrassing or weird)

6. Who will listen to you talk about something and then tell your friends your secrets as soon as they front?

7. Is anyone dating each other?

8. What does your headspace look like?

9. If they could all chose to have their own bodies, would they?

10. Do you have any non-human members?

11. Do you have any members that no one ever sees or talks to?

12. Do you have a schedule for fronting?

13. How many have blogs on here that are separate from each others?

14. Who is the dad/mom/parent of the system?

15. Who hates everyone and doesn’t want to be there?

16. Who talks all day in the headspace and then never opens their mouth while fronting?

17. Who would be most likely to blow all the money on food?

18. Who would be most likely to antagonize a fight and then leave front right when it starts?

19. Are there any familia relationships in the system? (brothers, sisters, moms, cousins, etc)

20. Do you have any fictives?

PSA

Okay, so a note on Singlet vs. Median vs. Multiple. The simplest explanation I have is (and please note that even this is pretty generalizing and probably doesn’t apply to all):

  • singlet = 1 body, 1 mind, 1 entity
  • median = 1 body, 1 mind, 2+ enitities
  • multiple = 1 body, 2+ minds, 2+ entities

I say “entity” because some medians may not consider themselves different people. And that’s okay! “Median” just means between singlet and multiple.

Some medians consider themselves “parts” that function as a single person. They may have their own names for the sake of organization, but that doesn’t change how they think of themselves. They’re still median, but they may be closer to singlet (if they choose to descibe themselves that way).

Other medians consider themselves different people but think they are too closely linked to call themselves multiple. They can have their own names/pronouns/appearances/etc. They’re also median, but they may be closer to multiple (if they choose to descibe themselves that way).

And other medians can be any mixture of the two examples! Maybe they’re “the same person” but have their own identities, or maybe they’re different versions of “the same person” and consider themselves different people. That’s all fine!

What isn’t fine? Telling medians what they can or cannot be based solely on your own experiences.

Thank you, this has been a PSA.

Don’t give them a platform

If you want to enter syscourse, keep one thing in mind.

Don’t give Gatekeepers/Exclusionists/Anti-Endogenics/True Systems™ a platform to spread their hate. You can do this several different ways…

1. Don’t reblog anything they say. Use an @ to tag them, that way people don’t immediately see their hateful rant.

2. If you want evidence of their harassment, take screenshots.

3. Tag their name, that way when someone searches them, anything you’ve posted will also show up in reference to them. It makes sure that people have access to counter arguments and posts that reference their harassment and/or general shittiness.

4. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, don’t react in anger or frustration. It makes it easy for them to capture screenshots and use them to support their side. Especially because they will often not screen-cap the parts of your response that show just how awful they were to you.

5. Don’t post their hate-filled asks. It just allows more of their hate speech to proliferate.

In our opinion, this may be the best way to stop a reactionary minority of the plural community from spreading their harmful beliefs further. 

Hopefully this is the last syscourse post we will have to make. We are done being part of this petty squabble.

Only reblog if you support systems regardless of their origin or diagnosis status.

anonymous asked:

median system was a term coined by systems with OSDD who felt that their experience was different than someone with DID and didn't want to claim multiple system. it pisses me off that the endogenics stole that term from us. it's not theirs to use, NONE of our terms are theirs to use, but they take them anyway bc they think it's so fun to have a symptom of a severe dissociative disorder without the actual disorder itself. smfh...

I don’t know where you heard this, but this is blatantly untrue.

The term “median” apparently came around in 2002. It literally means “between singlet and multiple” and nothing more. It was explicitly created to be a term accessible to both those who dissociate and those who don’t. In fact, it seems to have been created as a contrast to “midcontinuum,” which was the casual term that was at the time of its creation solely meant for (but not necessarily solely used by) dissociative systems. See this page on it. See also the Amorpha System’s post on the matter.

All of these claims support what I remember noticing over the years. When I first learned about my DID, I was far more open to the idea of natural multiplicity and so took a vague interest in seeing how natural multiples conceptualized their experiences. That’s how I was introduced to the term, and for a long time I saw it being used almost exclusively in spaces for natural multiples (including by soulbonders). When DID or DDNOS systems used it, it usually indicated that they were on good terms with natural multiples, considered themself an ally, spent a lot of time in shared spaces, or so on. It was absolutely not seen as an OSDD / DDNOS term. 

It’s only very recently that OSDD and some DID systems have begun claiming that it’s their term and / or that natural / endogenic multiples have no right to it. This claim has absolutely no basis in fact. As far as I’m aware, “median” didn’t even begin to grow popular as a term in dissociative circles until some individuals with BPD started using it (completely misunderstanding multiplicity in the process. Individuals with BPD, unless they also have DID / OSDD, are not multiple at all).

It’s similar to what happened with the word “fictive.” That was also not a term used by DID/OSDD systems until a few years ago. Introject is the clinical term and the term that trauma survivor communities used (and that most still use!). Yet, seemingly out of nowhere, it started being rapidly absorbed by DID/OSDD communities here, and now there are even people who attack natural / endogenic systems for using fictive, which, again, was their term to begin with

Please, for god’s sake, at least do a cursory google search before spreading this kind of misinformation. It does no one any favors when DID/OSDD systems take natural multiplicity terms. It falsely conflates the communities. It gives the wrong impression about how DID/OSDD work to individuals who are already familiar with the terms. It becomes almost laughably ahistorical when new community members inevitably become convinced that the terms were theirs to begin with. 

-Katherine of Those Interrupted

honestly why do some ppl /want/ to have a system i genuinely don’t understand why
like
sure being a system has some stupid fun moments or whatever the mcfuck but its also suffering ??? when someone’s upset you feel it and when someone takes front and you come back to front its like ?? hella disorienting and if said person did smth to upset someone you have to apologize and feel horrible even if you didnt do it ????
plus if someone fronts thats like time taken out of ur schedule and you have even less time to complete smth and then you stress tf out

so again like sURE it can be literally hilarious as fuck and you have fun with it sometimes but its h a r d
its not jsut smth like some extra buddy pals in ur head to talk to or ur favourite fictional character or w/e

so
why do ppl want to have a system?????¿¿¿ i am genuinely confused

to all median/bpd/non-did/osdd "systems"

it is really frustrating to see all these kids claiming that they have a “system” from bpd or that because they dont know who they are half the time that that *must* mean they have alters/a system

and that there are people who encourage them to believe this and run with it!

this is honestly horrendous

*you can dissociate and depersonalize without having a system*

*you can have identity disturbance​ and confusion without having a system*

and saying that these things inherently make you a system is extremely harmful!

if you have identity disturbance from bpd or depersonalization and you push the idea on someone or yourself that you have alters, it will only cause that person with those symptoms to have a harder time dealing with them and cause even more damage in the long run!

and i know a lot of these people claim that “oh but saying/pretending i have alters/“headmates” helps me cope” or “i cant afford or get access to therapy so this is how i manage”

TELLING PEOPLE/YOURSELF THAT YOU HAVE A SYSTEM AND PUSHING YOUR PROBLEMS AND TRAUMA ONTO IMAGINARY ALTERS IS NOT COPING. IT IS A BANDAID THAT WILL HURT LIKE FUCKING HELL WHEN YOU FINALLY RIP IT OFF!!!

PLEASE i implore you, if you are feeling like you depersonalize, have identity disturbance, dissociate symptomatically, or dont know how to cope with your trauma and cannot afford help, to not just shove all of your symptoms into the closest disorder that makes you feel good or important.

and i know its confusing and its tempting to put a name to whats wrong but if you put the wrong name to it it will only hurt you more in the end, i promise

***FOCUS ON YOUR SYMPTOMS, NOT THE DISORDER. THIS IS HOW YOU SUCCESSFULLY TREAT MENTAL ILLNESS AS A WHOLE, DID/OSDD/BPD/PTSD OR OTHERWISE***

PLEASE DO NOT SELF-DIAGNOSE DISORDERS LIKE DID AND OSDD.

AND **PLEASE** FOR THE LOVE OF GOD LISTEN TO YOUR THERAPIST OVER YOUR TUMBLR FRIENDS. THE PEOPLE ON HERE ARE NOT PROFESSIONALS AND CANNOT DIAGNOSE YOU, NO MATTER HOW MANY “TEXTBOOKS AND ARTICLES THEYVE READ” AND ARE MOST LIKELY BIAS AS FUCK AND MIGHT BE MANIPULATING YOU

- d

Fuck it. I’m just gonna say it. Idc if it gets me hate. More than tough enough to handle any that comes my way. But this needs to be said.

If I had gone to a psychologist as a kid, (which probably would have been really helpful and necessary, and probably should have happened after my biological mom died, and would have if my dad and stepmom hadn’t been so distrustful of psychiatry) and I told them about my facets, I would absolutely have gotten a diagnosis of OSDD (or DD-NOS as it was called back then). because until I got out of their house, and learned about median systems, I so often HATED that I had facets that I couldn’t control because I didn’t understand how each’s triggers worked or how to settle them down when they got loud or when one tried to take control over the others, hated how they often got me into trouble, hated how I felt so indecisive/self-contradictory, just didn’t understand myself. (I mean, by late teens we’d mostly learned to get along and appreciate each other, but it wasn’t a smooth or easy process.)

And we learned, through that eventual self-understanding and appreciation, the origins of these facets. These distinct, consistent, eternally-opposed sides of myself grew around four sets of things I’ve always valued from as early as I can remember: Being Right/Fair/Logical/Sensible vs Being Peaceful/Giving/Mystical/Nonsensical, Being Motherly/Protective/Defensive/Careful/Care-full vs Being Childlike/Protected/Risk-taking/Silly. Each is Me, while also being very much distinct and their own individual as well – a seemingly paradoxical thing that drives the Logical one crazy but is accepted as a wonderful and essential truth to the Peaceful one. They didn’t “break apart” because of the trauma and physical, verbal, and emotional abuse and neglect. They grew in four different directions, like branches on a tree, because of their essential differences.

We also have completely separate members, created/connected to by intentional effort. (Even if we didn’t know that’s what we were doing at the time.) I created Jas at 16, she created Varyn, together we found Doc and Aery. There’s absolutely no doubt where they came from, just like there’s no doubt where the facets came from. And they are absolutely their own persons. And we absolutely share time and physical existence here (despite them all having homes in the mindspace/paracosm as well) – because here is where the friends are that know them as them, who know them as a system. Especially for Varyn – there are no other created beings like him in the paracosm, and he needs his friends here who understand what it’s like to be a person like him.

Plus his boyfriend is here, and that’s pretty essential. :P

So yeah, I’m gonna claim my “privilege” as a not-disordered-now, nontraumagenic (with history of trauma!) potentially-considerable-as-an-OSDD system, and say screw the anti-endogenic systems trying to say there’s no such thing as systems that didn’t form from trauma. Screw the idea that only DID and OSDD can create systemmates capable of switching and controlling the body on their own.

It’s patently false, and if there’s something all us facets and systemmates agree on, it’s that we absolutely do exist, others like us absolutely do exist, and we absolutely have the right to do so and to use the terminology that describes ourselves and our experiences of being many persons sharing a body and life here.