mechanical machine

House on the Rock Day

Soooo many pictures. Too many for the Twitters, so I’m dusting off the ol’ Tumblr.

In anticipation of next season’s American Gods, my girlfriend and I visited the House on the Rock. It’s a little hard to explain, but here’s the short version: an architect/engineer climbed up a rock and built Frank Lloyd Wright’s worst nightmare. It struck Neil Gaiman so deeply he included it as a critical location in American Gods, and it’ll be featured in season 2 of the Starz series.

So we went. Behold.

This was what greeted us when we pulled up: a ¾ full parking lot, and a big one at that. I was a little surprised; Gaiman’s descriptions of the place gave me a seedier, hole-in-the-wall vibe, but this looked like some mid-level theme park entrance. Hmm. 

We started the tour and ventured around … and I was starting to think we came to the wrong place. Sure, the statue in front was kind of iffy, and some of the rooms looked a little retro, maybe gauche … but not the mindfuck I had anticipated.

Then … then we came to the Infinity Room.

… um. Okay. Hey, there’s a glass floor at the midway point, what’s under ther–

What are those, bushes? Wait … treetops?

HOLY FUCK YOU BATMAN IT’S AN UNSUPPORTED ROOM HANGING OUT OVER A FUCKING CLIFF YOU GO JUMP UP AN ASSHOLE

(It also creaks and sways. I thought it was just an old house, not a FUCK YOU CLIFF OF DOOM.)

Once back on solid ground, we found a door.

After that, shit got … weird.

I call this the Impractical Rejected Weapons from Fallout 3 collection.

Including a literal HAND CANNON. What the what?

Um.

This is getting unsettling.

The pooping dog piggy bank’s eyes won’t stop following me.

Ooohhhkay … hey, look!  Another one of them doors!

I wonder what’s behind this–

… well, I would have never guessed “replica American Main Street inside a house.” You win this round.

“I wish I was BIG.”

And because why the hell not, he’s a goddamned carnival pipe organ.

Then we came to this sign.

What? Bullshit. Bullshit you have a whale in this house. I will *shit myself* if you have a whale in th–

OH FUCK YOU MATE.

NO FUCK YOU THAT IS A THREE STORY TALL WHALE.

THAT IS A THREE STORY TALL WHALE FIGHTING A GIANT SQUID IN YOUR HOUSE YOU HAVE TOO MANY DRUGS

YOU PUT A FUCKING MOTORBOAT IN ITS MOUTH WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU

THIS DUDE GETS IT.

“I have seen some shit.”

And after the whale was just menagerie after menagerie of random audacious bullshit.

“Hello, I’ll be waiting in your closet tonight.”

“YOUR SILENCE GIVES CONSENT.”

Okay, this made me smile.

Fun fact: Burma Shave ads were the precursor to WTFIWWY.

Wait, where is that noise coming fro–

Oh yeah! There’s a HUGE assortment of these weird mechanical music machines assembled from real instruments, electronics, pneumatics, and madness.


But it doesn’t stop there.

Then we stumbled on the “Abominations in the Sight of God” section.

And at the very end … this. If you’ve read American Gods, you know *exactly* what this is. If you’re only watching the show, consider this spoilers for season 2.


Then we went outside, and there was a kitty.

I petted the kitty.

The end.

Bonus: Here is a machine that perfectly replicates the sound of Steve Martin falling down a flight of stairs.

You know, TheMeatly’s tweet about Wally is kind of interesting.

There’s another game full of audio diaries; anyone who’s played a Bioshock game (but the first one is what I’m thinking of) can tell you that they lead you along a character’s story years after that story has already taken place and, eventually, you find out what happened to them. Looooots of them don’t survive, but you don’t know who does until later in the game.

… So why would Meatly spoil Wally’s fate being an unpleasant one now instead of making us wait? It’s only chapter three; he could’ve easily made us wait another chapter or two.

… Unless we’re going to be finding out what happened to him very soon.

Another Bendy fanart pic I did for the Bendy and the Ink Machine Chapter 2 Contest.

This Time I wanted to try and give Bendy a Wrench. One of the in-game items and base it on something.
Originally I wanted to have a Mechanic or Garage theme to this pic and have some 1920s slang for a Mechanic.
But I couldn’t find any and I ended up going with a Repairman feel to it. This one is also a little more complex
then my other pics, with the fact that there are shadows.

Hopefully, out of all the pics I made, I really hope this one make it in.

I’ll find out soon enough, consider Chapter 3 is in the works. So maybe my pics will make it in,
if not, then Oh well.

Enjoy!

Bendy = TheMeatly

Art = Me

2

LGBT Hero: Alan Turing

His name was Alan Turing. Most people still don’t know who he was. That must change. Turing was a prodigiously gifted British mathematician, logician, cryptanalyst, and computer scientist. In fact, Turing is considered the father of computer science and artificial intelligence. He designed the programming of the world’s first commercial computer. He was also the inventor of the Turing Machine in 1935, a device which even to this day all digital computers are modeled on. Crucially, he was central to the building of The Bombe, an electro-mechanical machine which greatly helped in the breaking of the Enigma code used by the Nazi’s during World War Two. By 1942 his team was decoding up to 39,000 Enigma messages a month. This rose to 84,000, or about two messages decoded every minute. 

Winston Churchill said that Turing’s work shortened the Second World War by at least two years, saving millions of lives. Turing also helped decode the Fish cipher used by the German High Command to transmit messages between Hitler and senior officers in the field. So Turing was an architect, many would say the architect, of the modern world - and he was living in it decades before the rest of us.

Alan Turing was homosexual. He was quite fearlessly homosexual in an era when it was still a crime. When it became known he lost his security clearance. In 1952 he was convicted of acts of ‘gross indecency.’ They gave him a choice between prison or a process they called 'chemical castration.’ The barbaric and pointless process of being injected with female hormones - it gave him female breasts, it rendered him impotent - proved so traumatic it eventually led to his suicide in 1954. He was 41. 

Can we talk about Ada Lovelace for a minute though because she is one of the biggest history bamfs that not many people have heard of, and if it weren’t for her, you wouldn’t be using the computer that you’re using now to read this eulogistic shit:

  • Firstly, look how bitchin’ she was. That sass was handed down to her by both her parents; the super intelligent Lady Anna Isabella Milbanke, who received a Cambridge University education in her own home in the very early 1800s, all whilst having a vagina, and the mad, bad and dangerous to know Lord George Byron (yes, that Lord Byron). Basically, Ada’s genetics were plucked straight from the tree of promise and flowered into the fruits of genius. Badass. 

  • Byron left Ada’s mother when Ada was only a baby, and her mother never forgave him. In an attempt to prevent Ada from turning out to be as ‘morally fractured’ as her father, her mother banned her from pursuing any of the Arts, instead insisting that she focus on Mathematics and Science. She also banned Ada from seeing any portrait of her father until she was 20, which is a bit weird, all things told. This didn’t really have the desired effect - although Ada became highly interested in both philosophies, she also developed a deep sense of interest and admiration for her father, whom she never met, and who died in Greece when she was 8. Essentially, her mother’s insistence that she become anything but alike to her father made her want to be like him even more. Rad. 

  • Armed with a wish to be more than just a Mathematician, Ada developed her own scientific approach which she called 'poetical science’, which essentially meant she used both her highly trained logistical skills and her inherent creativity to ask bigger questions, and get better answers. This is what later allowed her to see the potential in an already established computing machine (we shall discuss that later). Girl got shit done. A+.

  • When she was 27, she translated an article written by an Italian dude, Luigi Manabrea (yeah, the dude who later became President of Italy. Nbd), about Charles Babbage’s 'Analytical Engine’; a mechanical machine largely agreed by historians as the first functional computer. When translating the article, Ada added an extensive supplementary of notes, which she entitled 'Notes’ (she wasn’t one to fuck around). These notes contained what is generally recognised as the first computer algorithm.

  • She then began to write extensively on the capabilities of Babbage’s machine. While most engineers, including Babbage himself, only believed that the machine was capable of basic number crunching, Ada didn’t agree. She foresaw that, with the correct algorithm applied, the machine could be capable of many other tasks, such as composing music to 'any degree of complexity or extent’. She basically predicted Garageband. 

  • Her published algorithm, recognised as the first computer programme by most reputable scientists (we’ll get to that later) was an algorithm designed to allow the Analytical Engine to calculate Bernoulli numbers. I don’t even know how to explain that, mostly because I’m not Ada Lovelace, but rest assured that Bernoulli numbers are complicated as shit and it was all very impressive. Bitchin’. 

  • After her death, many small-brained and smaller-dicked male mathematicians of the time began to realise something with a dawning sense of horror. Ada Lovelace had been a woman, and she’d made huge contributions to their field. Luckily for them, she’d been largely overlooked in life due to the fact that she had a chromosomal deficiency known as 'being a biological female’, and so they were able to discredit her fairly easily. Although Babbage himself wrote that the algebraic formula used to create the algorithm was 'entirely her own’, apart from the Bernoulli number formula itself (which Babbage wrote out but Ada later corrected), and that he 'suggested that she add some notes to Manabrea’s memoir’, the selection of which 'was entirely her own’, many modern historians still maintain that Ada’s contributions were minimal. Babbage historian Bruce Collier wrote that Babbage himself authored the notes on Manabrea’s article, and that Ada had an 'amazing delusion’ about her own talents, and only a 'shallow understanding’ of the Analytical Engine. When did he write this? The enlightened, gender equal age of 1990. 

So, in a nutshell, Ada Lovelace was a complete and utter bamf. Throw into the works the fact that she became an expert in bird anatomy at the age of 12 because she wanted to design wings that would fly; she almost eloped at 18 but was found out; and she dismissed her children’s schoolteacher because he kept trying to have an affair with her, and you get the idea; Ada Lovelace has been sorely overlooked by history, largely because she committed the heinous crime of being born a woman.