meat on a spit

requirements for the movie to be good:

longsword user trips everyone up

flexing after having a potion

hunter complaining about still not getting a part after hunting like 20 of the monster

hunter that decides its time to spit-roast some meat during the hunt

greatsword user chucking someone

being carried away on a cart by felynes

100 hours of gathering and not hunting

basically any of the gestures

petting your pet pig

hunter complaining about having to hunt a monster cause they just dont like it and not cause its difficult

hunter realises he ran out of money “somehow i dont know” even though its real damn clear as to why

no bullshit real world plot

Dungeon Set-Dressing

Merry Christmas to those who celebrate it, and happy holidays to all. Here’s my gift to you: a list of 100 dungeon props!

  1. Pile of crumbling skulls
  2. A spilled braizer
  3. Smashed remains of a wooden door
  4. A filthy tunic tied in a knot
  5. A sack of earth
  6. A wooden crate full of mouse-eaten books
  7. A pile of candles
  8. An exquisite rug in decent condition
  9. A huge wooden table covered in empty mugs and plates
  10. Shackles attached to the floor
  11. A painting
  12. A stone statue
  13. A tidy stack of firewood
  14. Bottles of sour wine
  15. Jars of pickles
  16. A battle standard, the banner carefully furled
  17. A mummified body wearing noble looking robes
  18. A wardrobe, one door torn off, contents scattered about
  19. Dog skeleton
  20. Down mattress
  21. Fireplace
  22. Bookcases
  23. Casks of rum
  24. Ratty looking furs
  25. Mural
  26. Mosaic floors
  27. Bloodstains
  28. A roasting spit over a mound of ash
  29. Smoked meats, past their prime
  30. Weeds growing in cracks
  31. A broom (underutilized in recent days)
  32. Bucket of sour looking water
  33. Wagon wheel
  34. A rowboat
  35. Wood stove
  36. Bale of hay
  37. An empty dog house
  38. A dead rock dove
  39. A smashed chest
  40. Broken glass
  41. An end table
  42. Makeshift cots
  43. A covered well
  44. Heaps of stone rubble
  45. An altar
  46. Workbench
  47. Sack of lentils
  48. Raised dias
  49. Piles of sand
  50. A rack filled with fresh, neatly stacked tapers
  51. Scattered paper amd shattered inkpots
  52. An empty trunk with a broken lock
  53. Bird nests
  54. A pile of flagstone
  55. Hardwood floors
  56. Wooden pillars
  57. Stone pillars
  58. Horseshoes
  59. Numerous paintings in various states of completion
  60. Dried herbs
  61. A wardrobe with some clean clothes
  62. A sack of sprouted potatoes
  63. A large puddle leaking from a crack
  64. A saddle
  65. A pair of rusty shears
  66. Heaps of earth
  67. Sawhorses
  68. Unfinished marble masonry
  69. A tin full of silk kerchiefs
  70. Some empty bottles
  71. A pair of worn out leather boots
  72. Two comfy upholstered chairs
  73. A four poster bed
  74. A statute of an unidentified figure
  75. An armchair and foot stool
  76. An armillary sphere
  77. Torch brackets spaced evenly along the walls
  78. A cradle
  79. A long wooden bar
  80. A large animal nest
  81. Two gutters terminating in floor drains
  82. A kiln
  83. Brewing equipment
  84. A desk covered in scattered pages
  85. A mud floor
  86. Tapestries
  87. Gardening tools
  88. Arcane scrawlings on the walls
  89. Mushrooms sprouting from between the stones
  90. Arched ceilings
  91. A massive looking-glass
  92. A couch
  93. A deteriorating ceiling
  94. A chasm filled with flowing lava
  95. Stacks of iron and copper ingots
  96. A stone sarcophagus
  97. An iron maiden
  98. A spinning wheel
  99. An array of clay pottery
  100. Huge piles of loose hair

In the story of the bees, the lovers fall asleep
as flowers and wake as flesh, human flesh
stung so deep, so many times, it hurts the bone.

The way a wheel turns in space, in place,
over and over and gets nowhere-
with agony added, that’s what the lovers feel.

Scholars translate the inscription above their bodies,
Beware-my body is spoiled meat, my spit
will parch you, it will never be your sweet milk.

They are made of such strange wishes. Once
he cupped a bee inside his bare palms
on a dare, and felt it slowly electrocute itself.

They are made of such strange dreams, bee-like dreams:
a peach orchard she never played in as a child,
where overnight the peaches never turned to stone. 

Who slept as a wildflower, slept as a metaphor,
wakes to feel real pain, the scholars say,
even as the lovers write forever in myth-land.

Scholars, if they do down to the riverbank, under
the anchorage, you know the spot, if the lovers
lie down together there, will they wake as flowers?

—  “Made-Up Myth” by Dan Chiasson from Natural History

people always ask about cultural differences during study abroad/what i learned, etc. and tbh what stands out the most was explaining the concept of Olive Garden to my Italian host mom because no other american student had mentioned it previously so eventually one night at dinner I pulled up olive garden on google and she lost her shit

“what are those?” she asked, pointing to the croutons BC THEY ARENT REAL IN ITALY


She couldn’t even tell these were breadsticks because the bread we usually eat with dinner is entirely flat

she cringed when she saw this (u don’t mix meat with pasta, it’s a no-no)

and she actually spit out her wine when she saw this and when I said “I think it’s fried lasagna”, she laughed so hard she cried


she told me to go home and tell everyone that Olive Garden was lying to all of us and that we should never go there again

Porchetta [por-Ketta] is a savory boneless Italian pork roast. The body of the pig is gutted, deboned, arranged with layers of stuffing, meat, fat, and skin, then rolled, spitted, and roasted over wood. It’s usually heavily salted in addition to being stuffed with garlic, rosemary, fennel, or other herbs. It has been selected by the Italian Minister of Agriculture for a list of “traditional Italian foods of cultural relevance”. Although popular across the country, it originated in Central Italy, Ariccia near Rome being the town most closely associated with it. Across Italy, it’s often sold by pitchmen out of white vans, especially during holidays and events, and served in a panino (bread roll). It’s a common street food in Lazio, served as a topping for Pizza Bianca. It’s also eaten as a meat dish in many households or as part of a picnic. 

Porchetta is 1 of 2 iconic culinary products of the Lazio region, the other being the sheep cheese Pecorino Romano. Porchetta is also common in Abruzzo, where it’s slow-roasted with rosemary, garlic, and pepper. In Umbria. it’s stuffed with the pig’s chopped entrails mixed with lard, garlic, salt, pepper, and fennel. Porchetta trevigiana from Treviso was developed in 1919 - a pig is slaughtered when 1 year old, then stuffed with salt, pepper, wild fennel, garlic, and white wine, and roasted in an oven for 7 hours at 200°C. Porchetta also is a popular dish in Venetian cuisine and Sardinian cuisine. There it is known as “porceddu” and is roasted over juniper and myrtle wood fires. 

Cannibalism

After escaping a dungeon and wiping out a small Orc camp, group decides to rest at the camp.

DM: You notice a rack of meat being roasted on a spit. Nearby, there is a pot of vegetable stew simmering over a fire.

Half-Orc Monk: I would like to roll to determine what animal this meat once was. *great roll*

DM: You are able to determine that this meat is perfectly cooked. It is absolutely ready to be consumed. You use your dagger to remove a piece and you taste it… and you immediately know that this… this delicious, tender, juicy delicacy is none other… than Elf meat.

Half-Elf Dragonborn Sorceress: I’m going to stick with the stew and… ignore what my comrades choose to do with the meat.

(Pointedly Racist) Human Ranger: I’m going to roll slight of hand to sneak some meat into her stew.

Half-Elf Dragonborn Sorceress (OOC): You piece of shit! I can’t believe you!

Human Ranger: *Rolls nat 20*

*Room erupts with laughter*

DM: You are successfully able to sneak the meat of her brethren into our young Sorceress’s meal. She consumes every bite.

Half-Elf Dragonborn Sorceress(OOC): F*ck me.

What Grosses out the Zodiac Signs:

Aries: People who “look gross” (subjectively), hair stuck in the drain, pet or baby drool, and rusty things.

Taurus: Gross textures like something that is slimy or scabby, bad smells, mucus, and sitting in a chair that someone else just got out of and the chair is still warm.

Gemini: “Gross words” like groin, moist, spit, etc., uncooked meat, and when people spit on you when they talk.

Cancer: Food that is under or over cooked, gum stuck to things, unexpected sticky things, and dirty socks or underwear.

Leo: Spit on the sidewalk, people who “look or sound gross” (subjectively), gross animals like rats or snakes, people who snore, wet clothes, and dust.

Virgo: Dirty dishes, toilets, door knobs, really anything dirty. People peeing in pools, coughing or blowing your nose in public, sick people, and long dirty fingernails.

Libra: Vomit, gore, acne, burping, farting, blood, body hair, and snot.

Scorpio: Bringing food or drinks into the bathroom, gross food, wet door knobs, or warm beer/drinks that should be cold.

Sagittarius: Snotty-nose children, people who chew loudly or with their mouth open, people who chew gum, those who smoke in public, or people who smack their lips when they eat.

Capricorn: Run down buildings, mildew or mold, couples hardcore making out in public, stains, and people with gross laughs or crying.

Aquarius: Really random things like foam, wet paper, the feel of cotton balls, strong chemicals used in cleaners or perfume, the list could go on.

Pisces: Bad milk, stinky feet, creepy crawly things like bugs and snakes, and sounds like scratches down a chalk board, Styrofoam moving around, or gagging noises.

anonymous asked:

I've heard a lot of bad things about triple A game companies and the way they treat their employees. Is it really that bad?

This is one of those things where it’s super dependent on the studio, the culture, and the project situation. There’s still some bad blood because of things like EA Spouse, and there are still some crunch culture studios out there, but they are fewer and farther between these days than they were ten years ago. Some studios really look out for their employees, while some others will chew their employees up and spit them out like a meat grinder.

The main issue is that the meat grinder sort of studio culture isn’t really sustainable because you burn through your talent at a fairly rapid pace by treating them badly. They won’t stay around in that case, which leads to problems from year to year. The studios that have a steady supply of newbies to chew through can continue to support the crunch culture, while those that don’t cannot, but even then - you need senior, experienced people or the project runs into all sorts of problems. Even worse, the steady rate of burnout means that a lot of employees will quit and take all of their accumulated knowledge of the systems with them, leaving orphaned systems or frankencode that is very difficult for new people to figure out.

That said, each individual’s personal tolerance for crunch also factors into it. For some people, working anything at all over your basic 40 hours per week is too much. For others, 50-60 is the limit, and then there are those who can do 80+ without batting an eyelash. It really depends on what your tolerance level is, and what the studio does to help mitigate the crunch - food, rest, compensation, benefits, etc. It can also depend on how often the studio crunches as well - some studios do it on a very regular basis, and it burns people out. I crunched for 10 months out of the 20 that I worked at the last studio, which was the primary reason that I decided to leave. Sometimes it’s a real dilemma - if you stay, you might get to work on the project you really want to, and get on the fast track to promotion. Some of the death march studios get compensated very well for earning huge profits for the publisher. Nothing breeds individual success in the game industry like working on a hit game, after all. But sometimes you end up with a bad situation in the project, and decide whether your own personal health and sanity is worth the possibility of career advancement.

Most studios I know will try to make it up to the employees in a variety of ways. Many provide free or greatly subsidized snacks and drinks. The majority will provide a comp week after the project ships, a much lighter workload post ship, meals and benefits during the crunch, and so on. It really comes down to the individual and that person’s tolerance level. If you are looking for warning flags, ask how many of the developers at the studio have kids. I’ve found that to be the best gauge of how well the studio treats the employee work-life balance - in my experience, most parents will usually prioritize their children over their careers. But it’s also up to the individual - it isn’t a question somebody else can answer for you. You need to decide how important work-life balance is for you, and whether you feel you can fit in with a given studio’s culture.

Squated on the ground, Suga held the piece of meat strongly in his hand. He was almost there, just a little bit more. Heavily breathing he started rapping. The meat in his hand slowly started to get hotter. His veins were visible and sweat dripping down his face. Suga started spitting fire, and the meat started sissing. All of a sudden it became quiet… not a single sound was made. Suga stood up from the ground and turned around to his customers. “Here is your grilled pork belly!!”. The customers amazed by his skill started clapping and screaming “Bravo!!!”. Suga was delighted. Another successful day in his Korean BBQ restaurant.