meat market!

You know that soulmate AU trope where the first thing your soulmate(s) says to you is some how magically engraved on your wrist? Why are those stories set in worlds that are otherwise socially normal?

I mean really. If everything was exactly the same except for this trope think of how many people would have hello written on their wrist. Think of how many people would meet the wrong person but hit it off anyway and think well this must be my soulmate(s) because we get along more or less. Think of how many people would get married and have a life and a dog and like start up some kind of artisanal meat market or something and then find out that they married the “wrong” person. Like, people wouldn’t be signing prenups, this is your soulmate it should last forever. So now you’re stuck in this crazy legal battle with your fake soulmate while your real soulmate is like trying to fend off people who also have hello on their wrist and think they’re making the wrong choice. Divorce lawyers would probably make it big in this hypothetical world.

But. I don’t think the above is actually all that likely when you consider that this would be a world where everyone knows that the first thing you say to your soulmate(s) is on your wrist. I think a whole world of this trope would basically teach people that you don’t say hello to strangers.

Instead you blurt out something very original. Last thursday I ate a live worm! I own a collection of glass eyes! I’m secretly a super villain and this is my android body! You know. Distinctive. Something that isn’t likely to be ambiguous.

Think of the possibilities. Think of a society that celebrates truly unique first words. People could see someone and spend hours agonizing over what ridiculous thing they want their first words to be. An unusual metaphor for your undying love? A declaration about how much you like snails? A compliment no one could have ever possibly said to them before? Your nose is a glorious rendition of the Summer Triangle. 

Kids would grow up being encouraged to say outlandish things. You wouldn’t be told to stop saying silly things. You would be told to make sure not to copy the silly things your friend said. Think of how careful parents would be about introducing very young children to new people. Kids that are too young might meet their soulmate and not realize it. They could miss their one chance because they were too busy fighting over a little mermaid eraser.

What about people who can’t read? What about people who are blind?

You wouldn’t say sorry if you bumped into someone on the street. You’d either stay silent or shout something oddball out first, I shove lilacs up my nose. and only then do you say sorry.

Imagine “speed meets”. Groups that organize meetups between complete strangers. You’re in a room with a hundred other people. Line up and start saying outrageous things. I am actually a hippopotamus. No? Okay next. I wish to own seven hundred thirty one and a half dalmatian mice. No? Alright. Next. One day I will travel to Europa in the fanciest of hats. And then the other person grins, Well captain it’s not naked if you’re wearing a hat. And damn they have been waiting years to say that line.

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Laotian Rock Rat

The Laotian rock rat or kha-nyou (Latin: Laonastes aenigmamus), sometimes called the “rat-squirrel”, is a rodent species of the Khammouan region of Laos. Upon their initial discovery, Jenkins and coauthors (2005) considered the Laotian rock rat to represent a completely new family. Jenkins et al. (2004) did not compare the specimens to known rodent fossils. After such a comparison, Dawson et al. (2006) were of the opinion that the Laotian rock rat belongs to a previously described family which had only been known from fossils, the Diatomyidae. The discovery of the Laotian rock rat means an 11 million-year gap exists in the fossil record where no diatomyids have been found. Mary Dawson described Laonastes as the “coelacanth of rodents”.

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Soccer Mom [Steve Harrington x Reader]

Word Count: 1303

Warnings: A few curse words

Summary: Steve invites [Y/N] to come demo-dog hunting with him and Dustin.

A/N: It’s my first Steve Harrington x Reader so have mercy 🤗

Originally posted by nancywheeleers

This was the last thing I expected to happen on my Friday night in. My crush, Steve Harrington, had just showed up at my door holding a baseball bat full of nails with a middle schooler bouncing around behind him.

“We need your help,” Steve said as soon as I opened the door. 

“Hello to you to, Steve. What exactly do you need my help with?” I asked, furrowing my eyebrows and crossing my arms.

“Monster hunting!” Dustin jumped in from behind Steve, a smiled plastered on his face.

“What the hell are you talking about?” I asked Dustin and Steve.

“It’s happening again,” Steve said. My eyes widened. Last year when the Upside Down was a threat to Hawkins, Steve, Jonathan, Nancy, and I had teamed up to kill the demogorgon in the Byer’s house.

“You were pretty bad-ass last time,” Steve pointed out, recalling when I beat the shit out of the demogorgon with my own nail bat. “We could use that again.” I smirked.

“One second,” I said, turning around and racing into the other room. I came back a few seconds later in a leather jacket, holding my nail bat. “Let’s go.” I walked out of the house feeling Steve’s eyes follow me.

Dustin led Steve and I through the woods until we ended up in an abandoned junkyard full of run down cars and spare parts.

“Oh yeah, this’ll do,” Steve said, heading towards the big bus in the middle.

“Hey guys!” We turned to see Max and Lucas on top of a hill, waving at us and parking their bike. The two kids ran over to the group.

“Ok, we need a plan to catch Dart,” Lucas said.

“Wait, who’s Dart?” I asked.

“My ex-pet that went crazy and the demogorgon dog that we’re trying to catch. Keep up,” Dustin quickly explained.

“Well if it’s a dog, it should like meat, right? We can lure it with meat,” I suggested.

“Where the hell are we supposed to get meat?” Dustin asked.

“The market, dipshit,” Steve snapped.

“Oh right,” Dustin got quieter, while I snickered. Steve winked at me, and I felt my cheeks heat up.

Later that night us five were hiding in the bus, the meat we had bought sitting outside. Dustin had begun to freak out, his nerves taking over.

“What if something goes wrong? What if-”

“Dude, get a grip!” Steve yelled, grabbing Dustin by the shoulders. “Nothing’s gonna happen, just get ready.” Steve handed him a lighter to defend himself, which Dustin stuffed in his pocket.

A faint Rrrrrrr could be heard from outside.

“It’s here,” Max said, her eyes filled with fear.
“It’s gonna be okay,” I told her.

“Stay here,” Steve said, grabbing his bat, heading outside.

“Steve!” I whispered, causing him to whip around. “You’re not going out there alone.” I grabbed my baseball bat from the corner and walked towards him. “Together, okay?”

“Okay.” A quiet “get a room” could be heard from Dustin in the back of the bus. I just rolled my  eyes and stepped out of the bus, right behind Steve. Both of us started to whistle, trying to draw the demo-dogs out.

“Come on, buddy,” Steve said.

“Dinnertime,” I whispered. “I taste better than that cat, I promise.”

“I can second that,” Steve flirted.

“Not the time, Harrington.”

“Sorry.”

We were walking towards the growls coming from inside the fog. The fog lightened up revealing a fully-grown Dart.

“Shit,” I whispered, stepping closer to it.

“STEVE, [Y/N]! WATCH OUT!” They heard Lucas scream from his hiding spot.

“Little busy here!” Steve replied, inching closer to Dart.  

“3 0’CLOCK!” Lucas screamed. Hearing that, my head whipped over to my right where I saw another demo-dog stalking towards us.

“Double shit,” I whispered.

“GUYS, ABORT! ABORT!” Dustin yelled. Steve turned around to look at Dustin for one second, but turned back around just in time to push him and I out of the way of Dart who pounced at us. As soon as we regained our balance, we were attacked left and right. Me and Steve kept swinging our nail bats, barely looking at where we were swinging.

“Hurry!” Max hollered. Steve and I made worried eye contact for a split second before sprinting back to the bus, the dogs right behind us.

“Come on!” The kids screamed, but Steve went down as one of the dogs grabbed one of his legs.

“Go!” He told me, but of course I would never leave him. I swung my bat as hard as I could, sending the demo-dog flying across the yard. The kids ran out and grabbed Steve and his bat, pulling him back into the bus, with me behind them to make sure they got in safe. As soon as everyone was in the bus, I slammed the doors shut, breathing heavily from fear.

“You ok?” I quickly asked Steve who looked a bit shaken. He nodded quickly. The dogs were ramming themselves against the locked doors, trying to get in. The bus was getting shaken from the dogs hitting it, resulting in screams of terror from the kids.

“They can’t get in!” I reminded them, hoping to calm them down, but a few of the dogs heads were sticking in through the door. Steve grabbed his bat and started hitting them. Dustin ran to his bag where he grabbed his walkie-talkie and started pleading for help.

“Is anybody there?” He asked. “Mike? Will? God?! Anyone?!” One large blow to the bus made everyone scream. “We’re at the old junk yard, and we are going to die!”

The roof of the bus was getting hit hard, and we could all see the dents caused by the blows. But what we didn’t realize was that one of the emergency exits at the top of the roof was open. One of the demo-dogs was on top of it, peering down at a frightened Max. As soon as she screamed, Steve and I rushed over screaming “out of the way,” pushing the kids behind us. We took out our bats and started swinging at the dog.

“You want some?!” Steve hollered. But the dog suddenly snapped its head in the opposite direction. It retreated and all the other growls and blows to the bus stopped. Nobody dared to make a sound as Steve and I stepped outside the bus to make sure it was clear.

“What happened?” Lucas asked firmly, stepping outside along with Dustin and Max.

“I don’t know,” Max replied.

“Do you think we scared them off?” Dustin asked.

“No,” I said, turning to the kids. “They’re going somewhere.”

“Head inside and gather the stuff, we’ll be right in there,” Steve told the kids. They all ran inside to gather the hunting supplies.

“Bad-ass once again,” Steve said to me flashing his charming smile.

“You really like those kids, don’t you?” I replied.

“They’re good kids,” Steve said.

“Yeah,” I replied, smiling. You know, you’re kinda like a soccer mom. All protective and stuff” Me and Steve both broke out into hysterical laughter.

“Nah, more like a crazy latina mother,” Steve added. The laughter died down, and we knew we had to talk about what was gonna come next.

“Do you think everything will turn out okay?” I asked, fear in their eyes.

“I hope so,” Steve said, cautiously reaching out for my hand. I took charge and gripped his tightly. We both turned to look at each other.

“I won’t let anything hurt you,” he said.

“I know. And if any dog tries to hurt you I’ll swing at it with my bad-ass bat until it’s dead three times over.” Steve snickered.

“Alright,” he said. “Let’s check on those kids.” Hand in hand we began to walk back towards the bus.

“Lead the way, soccer mom.”

Anybody looking for the MEAT MARKET…???

☝️🏽🤣☝️🏽 FOUND IT 😈🍆😈🍆

“Da DIGGER & Da STRETCHER” Order Up!!

#ThePipelines #Nudes #Ready2Play

The Markiplier Egos: a summary

Darkiplier: 3D master edgelord

Wilford Warfstache: stache got the shooty

The Host: the original narrator voice

Googliplier: i dare you to say “Ok Google”

Dr. Iplier: got his PhD from a drug dealer

Silver Shepherd: looks like a white-schemed spider man

Ed Edgar: sells babies on the black market

Bim Trimmer: sells human meat on the black market

The Jim Twins: CNN but innocent 

The King: biggest goddamn furry of them all

Yandere: summons demons for senpai 


This has been a short summary of the Markiplier Egos.

Too Much

Originally posted by stylesinthewild

Thank you to whoever it was that requested this! You all are amazing. Be kind, spread love. xx - L

“No, Harry! I’m sorry, but this is too much. I can’t handle anymore of this.”

Warnings: angsty

Word Count: 1,248

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Dear White People,

Chipotle is not Mexican food - neither is Taco Bell. You wanna taste my culture? Eat at family run restaurants that you think you’re too good for. Stop at taco trucks on the side of the road. Go to local meat markets like La Michoacana. stop eating “Mexican” food made by white people- stop eating “Doritos crunchy taco shells” and calling it Mexican food. 

Sincerely, 

Your Pissed Off Mexican Friend


Submitted by Anonymous