meat chips

10

Step right up and Come on in Here’s where the fun begins! Everybody’s busy Just a little dizzy Bringing you a Disney Afternoon on Disney Studios!

Beware! Right now, you’ll mostly find the next entry in Cape Cod’s Americana Barbecue series on shelves. It is a bad idea. Slow Smoked is a tedious flavour. It is heat and boredom. This may represent many family barbecues in America’s history, but that’s not a good reason to make it a chip flavour.

Brisket is what you want, if your local convenience store has dusty leftovers. It does not taste like brisket, but it also does not taste like despair or mosquito bites. It is reminiscent of the sauce one puts on beef.

This is adequate.

This will do.

Rainy Days and Mondays

Hello there! I’m back with another headcanon after a while :3 This one was requested by the fabulous @itshaejinju. Thanks for the request (and sorry it’s so late!) <3

“Hmm how about comfort foods and comfort activities for the bros and whoever else that you are comfortable with writing.*”

Note: I included a few songs that the bros might listen to if they’re feeling down. Just click on the letters at the end :3 I didn’t put the titles because I wanted it to be a surprise ^^ (don’t worry, no jump-scares XD)

The letters at the end of the bonus content contain a song as well, so check those out too ^^

Tagging: @themissimmortal @ohgodsnowwhat (thanks for helping me bounce around ideas for this!) @blindbae @stunninglyignis @chocobro-hijinks @crown-city-moogle @insomniacapples @gyrogearlooser​ (since you liked reading my other stuff XD)


Noctis Lucis Caelum

- That the Prince of Insomnia is quite the avid sleeper himself has become a running joke among his closest friends. He sleeps wherever and whenever long he damn pleases on normal days, but even more so when he’s feeling particularly depressed. His philosophy on these days is to just sleep it off until it goes away.

- Cats are also a great source of happiness and comfort for the Chosen King. Whether it’s a cat video or cat-themed items (and especially if it’s an actual feline!), any of these will instantly put a smile on his normally sulky visage. He has a cat-eared hoodie (a gift from Prompto the first Christmas they spent as a group) that he uses as pajamas when feeling blue. He wore them more often when Regis died (and even more so after Altissia).

- Unhealthy food is the way to go with him. Expect all-meat pizzas, potato chips, and plenty of junk food in general. If he is craving something sweet, he’ll ask Ignis to “help him” make some (AKA Noct will stir, cut or taste test while Iggy does everything else). Back when they would do this in the Citadel, the two would call over Gladio (and later on, Prompto) to have an impromptu dessert party. There would always be a batch set aside as well for Ignis to take back to Regis.

- Video games are also a good way to work out any frustrating or confusing feelings. Expect full-day marathons of King’s Knight and RPGs galore if he’s in a bad mood. If he wants to calm down and not really think while playing, Animal Crossing or Harvest Moon are his go-to games (farming and fishing erryday).

- Fishing is by far the most effective method to get his spirits back up. The calm of the environment alone helps clear his mind and make his troubles melt away. Getting a major haul will have him on Cloud Nine for days on end. Fair bit of warning first, though: Don’t do any backseat fishing if he’s feeling particularly testy. He will threaten to shove his fishing rod up your ass many times over.

- Bad Day Playlist: A | B | C | D | E


Prompto Argentum

- Our resident sunshine boy is on the prowl for hugs and fluffy animals (both, if he can find them) when he’s feeling blue. Back in Insomnia, he would hit up most, if not all, of the animal cafes the city had to offer. During the trek around Lucis, these are replaced by constant trips to Wiz’s Chocobo Post. Hugs he’ll either get from the residents of these particular places or from some plushies he collected over their travels. He has a pair of black and white dogs that look similar to Umbra and Pryna, plus a set of four chocobos that look eerily similar to each of the bros (the light brown one even came with a small pair of glasses, while the chocolate-colored one has scars similar to a certain Shield’s). He loves hugging the black chocobo the most, but has hugged the glasses-wearing one more often since Altissia.

- Prompto’s hands tend to get twitchy when he’s sad, and constantly fidgets with either his phone or one of his automatic weapons. During one of their visits to Hammerhead when he was in a funk, Cindy gave him a small pouch filled with a couple of spare parts lying around the garage (cleaned, of course!). Since then, he’d fiddle around with them and see what he could create. One time, he was able to create a customized fidget cube.

- When he was a kid, his go-to comfort food diet was similar to Noct’s, but spicier. But since losing and becoming conscious of his weight, he’d been avoiding junk food for the most part. His love for spicy food, however, hasn’t changed. Curries, stews, skewers…he’ll take it as long as it’s packing the heat he craves. The spicier, the better!

- Of course, video game sessions with his buddy Noctis always cheers him up. He usually prefers King’s Knight or a game like Nintendogs when he’s sad, but when he’s the angry kind of upset? He becomes the most aggressive gamer you’ll ever meet. Prompto becomes the King of any FPS and GTA-type games, and will wipe the floor with any poor soul who dares to challenge him right then and there.

- As he likes to say so himself, he never misses…a photo op! The group’s resident photographer will be moving around more than usual to grab tons of shots, mostly of the other bros. This may not seem very different from what he normally does, but the other three can always tell when the pictures are taken when he’s in a gloomy mood: (a) Prompto will only use the Journey, Time or Dawn filters and (b) there are never any selfies, even when Noct asks him to.

- Bad Day Playlist: F | G | H | I | J


Gladiolus Amicitia

- He’s the kind of person who feels like he has no time to feel sorry for himself, so he basically throws himself even more into physical activity when upset. Whether it’s fighting monsters or going on seemingly endless hunts (or going through the Trial of Gilgamesh)…Gladio will do all this and more, almost always pushing himself to the brink of passing out, much to Iris’ chagrin.

- If it can’t really be helped, the Shield turns to writing about his thoughts and feelings. From poetry to fan fiction, this guy will spin sultry sonnets that will make even Shakespeare’s head spin (or stories that will make even the most straight-laced reader melt into a puddle of goo at the intensity of the smut he writes). He has quite the large following on Tumblr and Fanfiction.net as a result, entire communities of blogs being dedicated to all his writings.

- Three words can accurately describe Gladio’s entire comfort food list: meat, noodles, and booze. He’ll crave burgers, steaks…pretty much any thick cut of meat. Noodles are a given when it comes to him, chugging down at least three large servings of his beloved Cup Noodles at a time. No matter which he chooses to eat, this will always be accompanied by an ice-cold beer or six, depending on the intensity of his mood.

- When depressed and hit with massive writer’s block, Gladio will do one of three things. His first option is reading, immersing himself mostly in historical novels with the occasional erotic piece. If he isn’t in the mood to read, he will park himself in front of the television and binge-watch until he either falls asleep or gets inspired to write (he’s a low-key fan of K-dramas and soap operas thanks to Iris). The third option involves clubbing, drinking and…well, let’s just not disturb him.  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

-  In line with the Shield’s desire for physical activity, expect him to disappear for a few hours. He’ll be trekking around the area near the haven/outpost, going for a jog all over the place to clear his head. Looking around helps ground him and remind him of what else he’s fighting to protect. During the time that Noctis disappeared into the Crystal, Gladio went away for close to a month after completing a daemon hunt by Longwythe. When he came back, he passed out from exhaustion, bruises and new scars littering his person. As it turned out, he’d walked all over Lucis, only stopping to slay daemons, eat/drink, and relieve himself.

- Bad Day Playlist: K | L | M | N | O


Ignis Stupeo Scientia

- If Gladiolus is the one who feels like he has no time to feel sorry for himself, Specs literally has no time to do so. On bad days, music becomes his constant companion. Expect him to either have a set of Bluetooth earbuds plugged in or, in case he doesn’t have them on him, for Ignis to be humming to himself when he works. You know he’s having a particularly rough day when you can hear him singing (and damn, he’s got a hell of a voice on him), especially since he doesn’t normally sing in the presence of others.

- Theatre in general is something that can put Ignis in a good mood, whether from laughing at a particularly funny play or shedding a few tears during an emotional scene thanks to quality acting. When he was younger and there happened to be a show in Insomnia when he wasn’t particularly busy, his uncle would surprise him with premium tickets and they’d watch together. During the road trip, he’d content himself with watching the anniversary performances stored on his phone whenever they’d stop to rest.

- For Ignis, cooking is always a good way to take one’s mind off things. When he is in a funk, expect a seafood feast fit for the Astrals. Shellfish, trout, trevally…you name it, it’s there. For dessert, fluffy chiffon cake, chocolate-covered fruit and wine or cocktails.

- The comfort activity that never fails to surprise the other bros no matter how many times they’ve seen it is Ignis watching anime or reading manga. He’s actually a low-key fan of Studio Ghibli, together with the occasional josei and shoujo anime. Apart from the theatre performances stored in his phone, he has a few volumes of manga stored at a time, updating them whenever they stop by an outpost. He’s currently watching Koe no Katachi and reading Orange.

- If Ignis is having a bad day and isn’t in the mood to sit around, he will either do yoga or dance (usually contemporary or ballroom). How do you think he got so flexible? Specs will often find himself getting lost in the motions, whether he’s performing a particularly difficult set of poses or being drawn into the world of the song he’s dancing to.

- Bad Day Playlist: P | Q | R | S | T


BONUS!

- Cor is someone who draws or paints when he’s upset. His work revolves mainly around two themes: the scenery of Lucis and his past experiences (his trip to Accordo with Regis and the Trial of Gilgamesh, in particular). His skill has considerably grown over the years, the drawings and paintings now indistinguishable from photographs. ( U )

- Ravus is a writer like Gladio, but of music. The High Commander played the piano and violin as a child, much to Queen Sylva’s delight. He rarely touches the violin ever since he got his new arm, much to his chagrin. Ravus usually composes with his mother and sister in mind, the resulting songs being beautifully haunting and filled with a sense of longing. ( V )

- Lunafreya is one who wishes to be one with nature when feeling down. The sylleblossoms outside of Fenestala Manor have only grown more beautiful and numerous over the years thanks to her care. She also keeps a small garden at the balcony of her room in case she’s too unwell to go outside, the planters filled with more sylleblossoms, lilies, and orchids. ( W )


Thanks for reading through this! Hope you enjoyed it <3

EDIT: For some reason, the post didn’t tag properly. Fixed now!

Mr. Cupcake and the Rat: A Note

@unpretty​ this is your fault 

Link to Part One of Mr. Cupcake and the Rat

Ren had settled into something akin to a comfortable routine, as much as anyone on the streets could possibly hope to. Every day brought new chaos. The bakery she had staked out as the center of her territory was on the rougher, poorer side of town, and she never knew when violence or cops would spill into her attempt at a peaceful existence.

She’d been heckled while digging through a trash can. When she hadn’t reacted, they’d thrown a bottle at her head. Her hat, an oversized beanie the same dark color as the dirty, matted hair it covered, had kept any glass from digging into her skull, but she had a hell of a headache and was dizzy. That was the sort of thing that made every day different from the next.

But there were some comforting constants.

She swung by the back alley by her bakery. She was quite late, and it was Sunday, so he would already be closed. But no one else came by, which meant… yes.

A little brown bag sitting on the step by the door into the bakery. She snatched it up quickly, stuffing part of it into her mouth so she could use all her limbs. Teeth clenched around the top of the bag, she clambered up onto the dumpster. In a practiced movement, she backed up to the corner, ran forward, and leapt. She caught the bottom rung of the fire escape on the next building, then hauled herself up. She climbed up another two stories on the fire escape, then, bag still dangling from her mouth, leapt onto the bakery roof. She landed on all fours, scrambled across the tile to the end of the house where the roof was at its highest. She slid off of it automatically, arms, then head, then chest and body, feet catching briefly around the edge as she swung herself down. The window was unlocked, because she never locked it. A metal ruler she left sticking out of the bottom made it easy to pry open, and then she slithered in.

The whole effort took less than thirty seconds.

She was getting very good at it.

The attic above the bakery was dark, but that didn’t bother her at all. She’d found a flashlight in an old box, and she had very good night vision. She clambered over bare plywood to her little corner, by the window, hidden behind a whole host of old, dusty boxes. There was a thick pile of blankets on it. She prodded at it a few times to figure out where all the rats were, moving some of them aside, before settling in.

She flicked the flashlight on and opened the bag. Inside was a saran wrapped sandwich, something wrapped in tin foil, two children’s juice boxes, and… ooooh, eclairs. She pulled it all out excitedly, using one of the boxes as a makeshift table. She started with the sandwich, unwrapping it and then carefully sticking the saran wrap around the existent ball of the stuff she was collecting. She didn’t know what for yet. Inside the foil were some sort of puffy baked things, folded and fluffy and filled with white poofyness that might have been cream cheese or something, and flecks of green. She poked at them. Lettuce? She didn’t know. It was too dark to be lettuce, she was pretty sure.

Curiously, she took a bite.

It tasted good, savory and creamy at the same time. She shrugged. It didn’t matter what was in it if it tasted good.

The juice boxes contained soy milk. One was chocolate. She drank that one first.

She fed the dozen or so rats in her blankets little pieces of bread and meat from the sandwich, which was full of some sort of chipped meat, and a vinegary sort of… cabbage maybe? Or a weird pale pickle. And cheese. And some kind of sauce. She didn’t rightly know, but it was good and the bread had a pretty, swirly design on it. The rats didn’t like the weird vinegar cabbage so she got to eat all of that herself. She really liked it. She wondered if she’d ever get to eat it again.

After she and the rats had devoured every last crumb, and the foil had been safely balled up around her Ball of Foil, which sat next to her Ball of Saran Wrap on her makeshift shelf, she flicked on her flashlight and grabbed the empty bag. It was a little greasy at the bottom from sitting for so long, but she could still use the sides. Eagerly, she went to tear it, then paused.

Something was… already written on the side?

She squinted at it, shaking the flashlight to get it to light up better.

“There is an Oktoberfest party today a few blocks away. Please watch out for drunks. Did you know otters have a special pouch where they keep their favorite rock?”

She tilted her head to the side, running a thin finger over the words, written in an unfamiliar scrawl.

Had Mr. Cupcake written this, then? He had never written her anything on a bag before. Except the first time, when he had written LUNCH in large letters.

A party… drunks. That explained the belligerence and the bottle.

She stared at the words for a while longer then flipped over onto her stomach, grabbing the sharpie she used to draw little pictures on the bags after she had eaten.

In careful letters underneath, she wrote, “One of them hit me.” She paused. “With a bottle.” That seemed like it might be an important clarification. Then, below that… “I did not know that. Did you know that rats laugh when they are happy?”

She stared at the words on the paper for a while. She doodled a little rat, laughing, the words HA HA HA over its head. She stared for a while longer. She had never written anyone a letter before. She was pretty sure this wasn’t how you did it. She wrestled with indecision for a while longer, before she tore the bag, carefully, so that the words didn’t rip. Then she taped it onto the slanted roof above her make-shift bed, with her other paper-bag doodles. This was paper bag lunch number fourteen.

She hoped tomorrow would be fifteen.

She hoped tomorrow would have more words on it, too.

She yawned, stomach gurgling and full, and curled up, pulling one of the many blankets over her head. The rats settled in around her, and she drifted into sleep, very full and very warm.

Jaylos/Malvie head canon 3

(I’ll be gone this whole week, until Friday, October 20th, so I’m scheduling one head canon for every day that I’m gone.)

There are days Mal and Jay will go to dinner and end up sitting by themselves and they’re like ‘damnit, again, really?’ and they have to go find their little nerds.

Carlos and Evie are in the library, skipping meals again, studying chemistry or discussing fashion or just reading. They’ve been in there for hours and are surprised when Jay and Mal sneak up on them, looking around carefully, and pouring food from their pockets.

Jay has brought a salad (small head canon that Carlos is vegetarian or just not a big meat eater) and chips and twenty peanut butter cups.

Mal brought fruit and a sandwich and a pudding cup, food coming from every pocket and fold of her jacket.

Carlos and Evie eat (while Jay and Mal gush over how cute their nerds are) and start yawning, so Jay and Mal put away their books and lead them back to their respective dorms