meaningful-to-live

Can we talk about how autism discourse often revolves around throwing people with intellectual disabilities (and other cognitive stuff) under the bus? Like I’m reading something and it involves literally saying “well at least autistic people can actually be really smart and not have cognitive/intellectual disabilities!”

First, autism and intellectual disability are not mutually exclusive.

Second, intellectual disability does not preclude meaningful lives. Intellectual disability does not mean people cannot have input on their own lives and choices.

Stop talking about it like autism is higher up on a hierarchical scale and that’s why autistic people are worth something.

People are worth something because they are people.

Never invest in any kind of relationship with anyone who is not willing to work on themselves just a little every day. A person who takes no interest in any form of self-improvement, personal development or spiritual growth will also not be inclined to make much of an effort building a truly meaningful connection with you. A relationship with only one partner willing to do the work ceases to be a relationship. And as anyone who has been there will tell you - it’s pointless to try and dance the tango solo.
Combat PTSD and Sexuality

Why Katniss and Peeta probably had great sex…but it took them a hella long time to get there.

I’ve been seeing some interesting posts speculating on Katniss and Peeta’s sex lives after the horrific events of the Hunger Games and the Revolution. Some opinions go from they had NO sex life at all until Katniss decided to make babies to THEY GO AT IT LIKE WILD MAMMALS (muttpeeta has promised us a delectable one-shot on this point :D). And let’s face it, while a good hunk of our fanfiction is dedicated to looking at their sexuality in GREAT detail, much of it is wish fulfillment (myself included). Because the truth is, we want our babies to ride the waves of orgasmic glory to infinity because they’ve been through so much and doesn’t Everlark deserve a little happiness, in the end?

But research in to combat PTSD shows that, while veterans and those traumatized by torture and violence can come to have meaningful and fulfilling sex lives, it takes a lot of therapy and time to reach that end.  And we are dealing with TWO combat veterans, and, if it’s true what some of you speculated, which is that Peeta was sexually assaulted in captivity (I don’t really share that opinion but who cares, since there’s no support in either direction), we are talking about some serious psychological hurdles for our beloved couple to overcome.

Together with my friend loudman1, who actually treats combat veterans with PTSD in his practice, we discussed some of the issues and looked at the facts.

First of all, let’s just establish that not everyone develops PTSD as a result of their experiences. Those of us who argue that Peeta may be less likely to develop it than Katniss are not too far from what the data supports, given his upbringing and his character, as well as his gender and the nature of his traumas (his torture, being a largely imaginary condition invented by the author, and therefore nearly impossible to quantify in terms of long term trauma).   Because he is the symbol of hope and recovery, the “dandelion in spring,” it is implied that his recovery and optimism are the foundations of Katniss’ recovery. That is not to say he is trauma-free. Collins wants us to understand that he does experience the negative effects of his experiences (”There are still moments when he clutches the back of a chair and hangs on until the flashbacks are over”).   But it is highly unlikely that he has PTSD to the degree Katniss has.

loudman1 also made some interesting points on Peeta’s innate optimism and Learned Optimism that I’ll let him elaborate on at his leisure.

Even if the novels did not give us clear and compelling evidence that Katniss suffers from both combat PTSD and depression, her life experiences and those of the war virtually guarantee that she will be a sufferer of PTSD.  I won’t go through all of the indicators but here is a link that discusses how some individuals are more likely than others to develop PTSD. She has a several of the indicators on the list, including her age, gender, the fact that she has experienced trauma in the past, a family history of mental illness and the sudden, unexpected death of a loved one (or loved ones in her case).

The ramifications on intimacy and sexuality for suffers of PTSD are multiple. The very numbing that victims of PTSD experience, their inability to manage very intense emotional experiences without relapsing into flashbacks, make navigating intimate situations very difficult. But it is possible. This link here discusses some of the symptoms and treatments of sexual dysfunction that combat veterans may face in dealing with issues of intimacies and this link here addresses the specific challenges of female combat veterans.

It is likely that Katniss experiences emotional numbing, withdrawal and a repression of her libido.  She likely has issues of low self-worth, compromised body issues resulting from her scarring and difficulties dealing with powerful emotions, including the intensity and vulnerability that accompanies expressing her sexuality in an intimate relationship.  If she is taking antidepressants or seratonin inducing medication, her libido will also be compromised.  And if Peeta really was sexually molested/attacked/raped in captivity, he may also experience repressed libido and erectile dysfunction as a result of those traumas.

The fact is, if we look at Katniss and Peeta’s relationship with an eye towards realism, they will have had so much to overcome. They will likely have a long courtship, full of friendship and intimacy-building facilitated by therapy, medication, their shared experiences and their profound affection for each other. They would have had a progression in their physical relationship, beginning with touching, kissing, moving onto oral sex before actual consummation.  This requires communication and a good sense of humor in most cases. They may have not discussed the war and their traumas right away, choosing a quiet life of routines before they moved to the stage where they could begin to process their losses using the memory book. 

Eventually, after twenty years, when we catch up to Katniss and Peeta and their children in the meadow, Katniss is finally able to recount her experiences, as she does through the trilogy (many critics have described The Hunger Games as a survivor story, given the first person narration technique and the didactic message at the end of the trilogy).  By this time, they’ve done the hard work of picking up the pieces of their lives and building something lasting and enduring, a monument to their resilience as survivors.

But make no mistake.  They probably took a long time to really get to a place of intimacy.  It was probably a lot of two steps forward, one step back. Periods of depression and numbness, lots of therapy and patience as they struggled against the weight of their experiences.  But they do it. They build a life. And it’s a good one. 

And finally, after all that, I’ll bet my hat that, at some point, they finally allowed themselves to explore their sexuality with abandon, in an environment of trust and love. In my headcannon, I’d like to think that Haymitch had the good sense to shut his windows because that must have been one helluva noisy summer!

Thanks for reading!  

XXXXX

This post and the subsequent one-shot based on this research is dedicated to my friend, loudman1, who has tolerated the flurry of emails as we talked through these issues and lent me his expertise in the writing of this post.

anonymous asked:

are we only as good as the books we read?

we’re as good as the things we feel and the things we think and the things we experience. taste in books is reflective of what we carry inside of us as readers and as people involved in the human experience. they’re indicative of what hurts us, makes us smile, makes us tick and connect with the rest of the world. again, we choose the damn books. there is a choice. if your choices mean shit to you then they’re personal and hence important. they bring you back to yourself and at the same time re-teach you your own humanity. to conclude: no, the books are usually better, if you have a decent reading taste, but the secret is: you’re perfectly free to shape your own mind & discover your own value. that comes with meaningful reading. it also comes with meaningful living.

I no longer have patience for certain things, not because I’ve become arrogant, but simply because I reached a point in my life where I do not want to waste more time with what displeases me or hurts me. I have no patience for cynicism, excessive criticism and demands of any nature. I lost the will to please those who do not like me, to love those who do not love me and to smile at those who do not want to smile at me.

I no longer spend a single minute on those who lie or want to manipulate. I decided not to coexist anymore with pretense, hypocrisy, dishonesty and cheap praise. I do not tolerate selective erudition nor academic arrogance. I do not adjust either to popular gossiping. I hate conflict and comparisons. I believe in a world of opposites and that’s why I avoid people with rigid and inflexible personalities. In friendship I dislike the lack of loyalty and betrayal. I do not get along with those who do not know how to give a compliment or a word of encouragement. Exaggerations bore me and I have difficulty accepting those who do not like animals. And on top of everything I have no patience for anyone who does not deserve my patience.

Many people argue over the existence of God, while their definition of “God” vastly differ from one another. So in essence, they are arguing over two completely different entities. The bottom line is, for many people, “God” is something personal, it is not just something they believe in, but something they need, while for many of us, we not only believe in no God, higher power, or divinity of any kind, but we live fulfilling, wonderful, meaningful, and tranquil lives knowing that there is no God.

#LiveAndLetLive

shit happens, write a poem and get over it.

A road with potholes,
a road with no signs.
My life isn’t simple,
nothing aligns.

Apparently good & bad things
come in threes,
but my life just throws me
whatever it pleases.

A dead end nears,
my mind
filled with fears.

I overthink way too much,
even though
life is just ‘such’.

“Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, compassion, and creativity. It is the source of hope, empathy, accountability, & Authenticity. If we want Greater Purpose or deeper, more meaningful spiritual lives, Vulnerability is the path.” …In case you wanted some honey in ya tea this Risin! “The Waxing and Waning Series” by #JetiaDeity #BodyPositive #ProgressIsAProcess #Brenebrown #SkinImIn #NagaNudist #Naturalist #scars #sacredWombman #LetsBeBlossomBUDdies #FreeTheNipple🌻🌱🍵🌞

probablylostrightnow tagged me for another meme! 

A - Age: 30
B - Biggest Fear: ugh, too many to list
C - Current Time: 5:56 pm
D - Drink You Last Had: water
E - Easiest Person To Talk To: my sister
F - Favorite Song: The version varies periodically; currently it’s Slå Dig Fri (Swedish).
G - Grossest Memory: I’m sure there’s been something more gross than this, but the grossest thing I can remember at the moment is the most recent time that I got my face a little too close to the dog’s face, and she enthusiastically stuck her nose in my mouth.
H - Hometown: Actually a Decent-Sized City, Midwest, USA. We’re not just the fly-over zone! *shakes fist*
I - In Love With: Garrus Vakarian, various other fictional characters
J - Jealous Of:  successful people with meaningful, fulfilling jobs/lives, who make enough money to live
K - Killed Someone?: only in fic and in my head
L - Longest Relationships: N/A
M - Middle Name: Kristen
N - Number of Siblings:  one (younger sister)
O - One Wish: see J
P - Person Who You Last Called: a doctor to make an appointment
Q - Question You’re Always Asked: Can you expedite this? (And it’s never actually a question. I love my job *sobs*)
R - Reason To Smile: my SWTOR guildmates are sending each other increasingly silly messages in a thread that includes me, so I’m getting notifications for them in my email every few minutes
S - Song You Last Sang: probably Libérée Délivrée (badly, as I don’t actually speak French), since I have it in my car
T - Time You Woke Up: 6:30 am. Time I actually got up was…a bit later…
U - Underwear Color: dark teal
V - Vacation Destination: going to keep Lost’s answer here: if it has good food and Internet, I’m happy
W - Worst Habit: procrastination/laziness
X - X-rays You’ve Had: just teeth
Y - Your Favorite Food: this amazing salty oyster cracker snack my mom makes at Christmas
Z - Zodiac Sign: no idea

Standard tagging: anyone who’d like to do it!

Well the way I feel is the way I write
It isn’t like the thoughts of the man who lies
There is a truth and it’s on our side
Dawn is coming
Open your eyes
Look into the sun as the new days rise

And I will wait for you tonight
You’re here forever and you’re by my side
I’ve been waiting all my life
To feel your heart as it’s keeping time
We’ll do whatever just to stay alive

—  José Gonzaléz, Stay Alive
thehoroscope.co
Cancer in love
See the behavior of Cancer in love, how you can melt the heart of your Cancer love and the astrology compatibilities for this sign.
By Denise

Cancers absolutely need meaningful connections in their lives, especially romantic ones. Their relationships with other’s are more important to them than anything else: if their partner isn’t happy, they can’t be happy…

If you are a Cancer, Venus is in Cancer on your Chart, or you are a lover of either, this in depth article can provide insight into your love life.

伊東歌詞太郎@EX THEATER ROPPONGI - ROCKIN’ON JAPAN RO69 Live Report

To continue singing forever. Simple as it may seem, it is a goal which requires extraordinary effort and a tenacious will to attain. Even so, Ito Kashitaro continues to strive to achieve this goal. The Finale of his first ever country-wide one-man live tour, held at EX THEATER ROPPONGI, fully showed the growth he went through with what he has experienced till now, and the resilience he has to face the long road ahead of him. It was indeed a very meaningful live performance.


Sorry for the long wait, Tokyo!” with a strong entrance, Kashitaro appeared gallantly on stage. Starting with the energetic opening number from Niritsu Haihan, which was released in April, Yume Chizu rose the curtain of this live performance spectacularly. He is after all an utaite who has made a name for himself through the Utattemita category on Niconico Douga. However, without being confined to the space of the virtual world, Kashitaro has toured all 47 prefectures of Japan, while treasuring each and every live performance. Finally, he has arrived here, the live performance of the largest scale in his one-man tour, EX THEATER ROPPONGI. With his trademark fox mask removed, one could see the sincerity in his eyes in communicating with the audience before him. While punching the air countless of times to fire up the mood of the audience, the live performance was already heated up from the first song. Of course not to forget, what overpowered everything else was the powerful yet carefree voice of Ito Kashitaro. The lively singing voice which music recordings and CDs can’t do justice to, reverberated throughout the hall packed with over 1500 people.

Moving on, next was the ever popular Vocaloid song, Hoshiai. With the phrase “I was waiting for this night//この夜を待ってたんだ”, The excitement Kashitaro held for this night was thoroughly conveyed. The audience of Kashitaro’s live performances are not expecting “a popular utaite to sing a popular song”. Over half of the songs in his second album, Niritsu Haihan, are original self-compositions, and was one of the features to this live performance. Starting with a carefree acapella of Poplar no Oka ni Kaze ga Fuku, followed by the idyllic chorus of Everything’s gonna be alright, the hall was filled with euphoria. What Ito Kashitaro thinks, feels, knows, and what he lives by, are all directly reflected in his songs. It was as if they were a documentary, to let us experience first-hand his way of life. But by watching this live performance, those songs with a personal touch, on stage were just like any other popular song which could reach the hearts of any listener. And of course, to be able to share such songs with the audience, his ability to do each song justice, to reach each listener, was truly remarkable.

During the MC time, Kashitaro talked about how he has toured the whole country, and his emotions upon arriving at Tokyo, where the Finale would be held. Even after this tour ends, to him it will not be a sad or lonely thing at all. It is precisely because this live tour is the outcome of what he has done so far; to him this is not an end point, but rather a checkpoint. “In all of my live performances, I sing with all my might. I will do so tonight as well.” towards his words of conviction, the audience roared and cheered with support.

Sometimes dashing around while being wrapped by the solid sound of the band, sometimes embraced by the graceful melody of the flowing piano and the acoustic guitar, with changing expressions, Kashitaro’s singing voice was conveyed to the audience. When one sees him singing on stage, you’ll notice that he isn’t putting in excessive power, nor is he overly relaxed; it’s an unconventional stature. If I were to borrow his words, I’d say he’s in a state of “freedom”. Standing in the centre of the stage, grooving to the sound of the band, from his voice, sings of the purity of the fun he’s having and the happiness he feels to able to share it with others in a live performance.

Nearing the end of the live performance, Kashitaro put into words a solemn and truthful thought. “I want to sing till the moment I can no longer sing.” And for someone who is bad at keeping promises with people, with all earnestness he faced the audience and shouted, “I will sing till the very moment I die! Will you make this promise with me!” The feelings he has for singing, and the sincerity he shows the audience before him, is what has brought him here, to a live performance of such scale. Amidst the unending applause, the live performance has entered its final lap. With “thank you”s escaping from his mouth every now and throughout Parabola~Galileo’s dream~, with the swinging of the towels from the audience the atmosphere changed for I Can Stop Fall in Love, and for the last song, Bokudake no Rockstar, he said, “Let’s become one!” His voice, filled with the vigor of all his might, reverberated throughout the hall.

Answering the unending applause from the audience, Kashitaro once again appeared on stage. What he presented last was the famous song from Itowokashi, Share, We Are.

The finale to the live performance was just a song, and the clapping and singing along from the audience. With just that, with just that being enough, the live hall was filled with happiness. To love singing. The desire to continue singing. Through this live tour, he has surely found more conviction in these thoughts. We will continue to expect great things from his work in the future.

Author: 松本侃士 Matsumoto Tadashi


Setlist

  1. 夢地図 Yume Chizu
  2. メランコリック Melancholic
  3. ホシアイ Hoshiai
  4. ポプラの丘に風が吹く Poplar no Oka ni Kaze ga Fuku
  5. さよならのかわりに Sayonara no Kawari ni
  6. rebirthday
  7. HEAVEN
  8. サマータイムレコード Summertime Record
  9. ぼくのほそ道 Boku no Hosomichi
  10. カナリア・シンデレラ Canary Cinderella
  11. 夏の匂い Natsu no Nioi
  12. さよならだけが人生だ Sayonara dake ga Jinsei da
  13. Everything’s gonna be alright
  14. 約束のスターリーナイト Yakusoku no Starry Night
  15. パラボラ~ガリレオの夢~ Parabola~Galileo’s dream~
  16. I Can Stop Fall in Love
  17. 僕だけのロックスター Bokudake no Rockstar

(Encore)

   18.  START
   19.  Share,We are

fortheloveof-seanqueen asked:

Hi! I don't really get on here much anymore but I had to, to come tell you that your new fic ripped me to shreds in the best way! I loved it so much! ❤️ thank you for your brilliance!

Wow. I’m so honored by this!  I’m thrilled you enjoyed and embraced Hindsight. It was a true joy to write, as well as a bit of a challenge, forcing myself to see things through the perspective of someone who cannot see. But there seems to be a need for people with disabilities to be written and portrayed as the leaders that they are, people of amazing strength and resilience who overcome limitations they would never choose and live meaningful, purposeful lives. I’ve been touched by the messages that have been sent my way over this as well as the requests to write more in this verse. So thank you again for sending me this message. :)  It really means a lot!