mean;ugly

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the double bind of fashion that queer and trans women are put into. For queer women, dressing too masculinely means we’re ugly. Dress too femininely and we’re not really queer. For trans women, dressing to masculinely means we’re not really women and merely invading lesbian spaces. On the other hand, dressing femininely means that we’re trying “too hard,” fetishizing women, and not queer. There is no way to win aside from pushing back against these narratives and sharing our own stories instead. Our identities, journeys, and aesthetics are always already valid. But we have to let others know that is the case while building our movements and legitimacy.

Note to Ugly People:

Sending grainy nudes during the Hookup Negotiation means you’re ugly.  I don’t know what else to tell you.  Technology has come to a point where if you are sending blurry, out of focus, grainy, dark, or otherwise difficult to view pictures, you’re trying to hide how ugly you are.  Think about when you want to take that L – over the app when they can see you clearly and decline, or in person when you get there and they say “naaah, I’m good.”  

All is not lost, of course.  Ugly people have sex too.  We see ugly couples so they must be finding each other.  Maybe they sent clear pics to each other so they could both gauge the ugly on the other end effectively and make an informed decision.  Or, maybe they cultivated personalities and interests that lent themselves to meeting people socially instead of through an app.  Either way, they didn’t do it by sending nudes that look like you shot it with the iPhone730BC.  Do better.

Signed,

Not an Ugly Person *per se* But A Man in NYC Who Has Definitely Slept With Enough Men To See The Rating System Is Harsher Here & Developed Ways To Compete

9

So I’ve been overwhelmed by the black panther comicon appearance and I’ve been dwelling on how revolutionary the black panther movie is going to be, what it’s going to mean to countless people when this movie comes out and how long we still have to go, So I decided to put this short photoset together to illustrate exactly how big of a deal it is and how it is bigger than one person.

it’s so bittersweet because when I was younger (especially growing up where I did, a black kid in Finland) I really wished I had more access to imagery and media that reflected who I was because it would have made my life radically different for the better and I wouldn’t be at 26 (STILL) doing damage control but on the flipside, I’m so in awe of all of the beautiful talent in 2016 that younger black kids are able to see and be inspired by.

I think I was like 4 years old when I conciously picked up race and color via watching Disney’s “Aladdin” and I noticed how Jafar, the evil royal guards etc the villains were more ethnic looking or a shade darker than the “good” characters.

it’s insidious because you’re seeing something but at age 4, you don’t have the comprehension skill or knowledge to break it down and see it for what it is (Colorism, Societal bias against black people which is rooted in centuries of white supremacist doctrine, society associates things that are dark/darker colors with evil, danger, ugliness, dirt etc) and reject it.

so you pick it up and see it on a surface level and you think to yourself “well darker must mean ugly, criminal and less human”…then what happens when you look at yourself in the mirror and find out that you are black?


  how is that going to impact how you see yourself?

and guess what? if a 4 year old black kid can pick that up and internalize that about him/her/themselves….then a white kid can sponge up the same language and imagery that dehumanizes black people too (subconciously/conciously)…what happens when when these people grow up? become teachers, doctors, law enforcement etc? what kind of impact is that going to have?

I’m going off on a tangent and that’s just one personal example but society does that on a global grand scale and it is largely unchecked.

but honestly though,look at the photoset and think about how many talented people out there that we love and respect….who would NOT have achieved the things they did if it wasn’t for another person before them inspiring them to reach their goals and acting as trail blazers when it seemed as though it was impossible….then think about the flipside and how many people, with all the potential in the world, never lived to become great because they were met with more images dehumanizing them than ones uplifting them…this is why the fight for HONEST representation is important and it continues.

argh, I didn’t plan on typing anything but I got in my feelings after watching this again

…anyway, here are some pictures to make you smile, the next gen gives me hope

and if none of that gets you going, here is a video of Michael Jackson surprising James Brown on stage and then thanking him for being his biggest influence (BET awards, 2003)

I always hate it when girls say “But I’m fat,” and then I automatically reply with “No you aren’t!” because that isn’t what I want to say.

What I want to say is a century ago you would have been a goddess.

What I want to say is you are a goddess now.

What I want to say is that society stole that word from you.

What I want to say is “So what? Fat does not mean ugly. Fat is not a bad word. You are fat. I am fat. And we are beautiful.”

What I want to say is fat and ugly are not synonymous.

What I want to say is my god, if you are fat, be fat, but fall in love with yourself all the same because you are so much more than weight and weight has never been everything.

But I always say “No you aren’t!” and they always know I’m lying.

I’m already tired of hearing all the hate about Rhaegar looking too much like Viserys.

First of all, incest or not. Genetics are genetics. Believe it or not sometimes siblings look similar to one another *gasp.* And yes we hear in the books about how handsome, smart, strong, musically gifted, etc. Rhaegar was. But come on from the side profiles we get of Rhaegar. The man is nowhere NEAR ugly. I mean I for one sometimes I catch my side profile in the mirror and I have to look away before my eyes bleed. So lets all agree that he is not eye bleedingly hideous.

And secondly, can I just take a moment to somewhat put you in the shoes of a young Viserys? Prince Viserys got to experience 8 years of King’s Landing. He got to live in a palace with his mother father and older brother Rhaegar. Of course it wasn’t sunshine and rainbows but that’s a discussion for another day. Viserys knew Rhaegar. Viserys got to see him joust, play the harp, read, etc. Rhaegar was going to be the future king of Westeros. No doubt that Rhaegar was his role model. Have you ever seen a little sibling look up to their older sibling? They try to copy them constantly because they want to be just like them.

But alas, one thing leads to another and Viserys has to experience the deaths of both his parents and his heroic big brother. Plus he is exiled to a far away land with his newborn sister. How traumatizing would that be for a little boy? Now, I am not saying that Viserys would have been a good king. He grew up feeding on every lie he was told about the Usurper who stole his family’s crown. His own innocent, childish memories got twisted from years of yearning for revenge and power. Yet, a few of his memories still pull through unscathed. That being the memory of Rhaegar. Viserys mimicked his big brother’s appearance because deep down he still wanted to be like him; to be the king Rhaegar never could.

So in the end, what I am saying is that Rhaegar does not look like Viserys, Viserys looks like Rhaegar.

i hear a lot about how being gay shouldn’t be “defining” of who i am and i wonder about that. i’m told by straight people that they don’t endlessly shove it in my face, that their personality isn’t defined by it.

maybe they’re right. maybe i’m sensitive. every movie every ad every tv  - hey, maybe they’re the “good” kind of gay, that they appear clean, that they kiss and don’t tell, that they spend pride hiding.

maybe they’re right. maybe i would have been fine if i had just liked guys. if i hadn’t crushed myself into pieces trying to figure out the why of it, why i couldn’t just roll over and be done with it. maybe i’m weak and my personality fluctuated too easy: too many hey look at me you fucking gays too many stares and whispers too many “acceptance” speeches about threesomes too many times i bit my tongue and tried to swallow it. 

it’s interesting. if someone says “i was bullied, and it changed me, and now it’s part of my personality,” we understand that. i know this because i was bullied. sometimes i think i was deserving - i was mean, ugly, dressed messy. when i tell people i often get genuine pity, i get people comforting me. of course i’m shy. look at what happened when i tried to be friendly.

but when i say “i like girls and it’s a huge part of who i am” people roll their eyes. something so small! they wonder. so inconsequential. and i wonder what that’s like, to not have something like your own love ever challenged or questioned - to have something that’s major to me be barely a note in your life.

“i’m queer,” i say, reclaiming the word they used against me, using this thing that has weight and was once used to strike me, carrying with it a community full of bloody history, outing myself in a moment of bravery - using it as a branding iron, a red light in a dark room. 

she rolls her eyes. “but what else are you?”

Six Years and Seven Days

This is pretending that Bellamy could hear Clarke talking all those years, she just can’t hear him responding, and that the ship at the end is them coming back to Earth. 

So…pain. 


Day Three

“Bellamy…are you up there? Are you alive? Is anyone alive?”

Static.

“I only woke up yesterday. At least, I think it was yesterday. I barely made it into the bunker in time, but I made it. And the computer says it’s been three days since the radiation hit, and I was so hungry I thought I might die. Please tell me you didn’t die.”

Silence.

“Bellamy, my mom was right. In a way. My face is disgusting, covered in boils. You’d be laughing at me…probably. Because she was right but so were you. I’m not dead Bellamy. I hope you aren’t either.”

His fingers slammed on the respond button, pushing it down to the point of it feeling like it would crack from the pressure.

“I’m not dead, Clarke. I’m not dead.”

Keep reading

Muma Pădurii aesthetic

Romanian folklore creatures series - VI

Muma Pădurii is an ugly and mean old woman living as a spirit of the forest . She is an evil witch, the opposite of fairies and literally means “the Mother of the Forest”, though “mumă” is an archaic version of “mamă” (mother).

She lives in a dark, dreadful, hidden little house or in the hollows of old trees, and sometimes goes to the huts of those living near the forest to scare them. If a brave man manages to catch and tie her, she will fulfill a wish. She is also thought to attack children, and because of this, a large variety of spells (descântece in Romanian) are used against her.

In the forest she is a sad mother, mourning, groaning, snorting, howling, because people are cutting her babies, the trees in the forest. She will punish every man whistling or singing through the woods, woodcutters who disregard the rules of the forest, those who collect berries, wild apples and pears, hazelnuts.

10 Reasons I should play Isak in the US Skam Remake

1. Isak and I are virtually indistinguishable from one another. Never before have I so closely, intensely related to a fictional character. 

2. I can rock a snapback

3. I wrote, co-directed, and starred in a short film that won the Atlantic Youth Film Festival and went on to be featured at the Toronto International Film Festival High School Festival

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GjC3oncA6g8

4. REALLY want a blonde Isak? I’m game

5. I totally felt a Natural Connection™️ with Tarjei AND Henrik when I got to meet them 

6. Trying to be straight™️? ME

7. I can cry. I mean, CRY cry. Ugly cry (but still look good) 

8. Do you see that picture of me and my boy squad in front of a castle? Yeah. #boysquad 

9. I’ve acted in almost a dozen plays, both through school and independently, as well as three short films, so I know what I’m doing, but am definitely an unknown. 

10. Sitting on a bench? Sign me up

BONUS: I would do anything to play Isak Valtersen. Julie and Tarjei were able to expertly craft this phenomenal character that helped me grow as a person more than I ever thought a fictional character could. When I watch Skam, I see so much of myself in Isak. I took the exact same Gay Test as him. I laid awake for hours wondering if boys I liked, liked me back. I awkwardly came out to my friends when they heard it from other people first. I dated girls to prove to myself and people around me that I was straight. My first gay kiss was ripped right from a movie, only I was laying down like Sleeping Beauty and he got down on one knee and kissed me. I understand Isak because I am Isak. I’m the scared, lonely, angry closeted kid who makes other people guess who I like because it’s easier than telling them myself. I know US Skam won’t be able to replicate Julie and Tarjei’s Isak, because it never could. Nothing and nobody ever could. I don’t know if US Skam will be good; some remakes (The Office, Shameless) are amazing, others (Skins) are terrible. I hope US Skam is good, because I hope other people get to have characters they connect with the way I connect with Isak. I want to play Isak (or Isaac?) because I want to do for somewhat else what Tarjei did for me. I will always be grateful to him. I will never be able to thank him and Julie enough for Isak Valtersen. 


If anybody important ever sees this and wants to give me a chance, I’ll be eternally grateful to you as well. :)