mean humour

  • Me: I'm so glad I have one scene in this three chapter segment which I don't have to rewrite from scratch.
  • Me, after reading said scene: Never mind, I'm rewriting everything. Rewriting the entire book. Rewriting myself out of existence.
Grounding

WHAT IS GROUNDING?

Grounding is a set of simple strategies to  detach from emotional pain for example (cravings, self harm urges, emotional eating behaviour etc.) Grounding can also be a way of returning your attention to the outside world and away from yourself. In the case of dissociation.

WHY PRACTICE GROUNDING TECHNIQUES?

When you are overwhelmed with emotional pain, you need a way to detach so that you can gain control over your feelings and stay safe. As long as you are grounding, you are more likely to be able to overcome urges. Grounding ‘anchors’ you to reality.

Many people with PTSD and dissociative disorders struggle with either feeling too much (overwhelming emotions and memories) or too little (numbing and dissociation). In grounding, you attain balance between the two—conscious of reality and ability to tolerate it.

GUIDELINES:

§ Grounding can be done any time, anywhere and no one has to know.

·       §  Use grounding when you are: faced with a trigger, having a flashback or dissociating.

·       §  Keep your eyes open, look around the room, and make sure the light is good to stay in touch with the present.

·       §  Rate your mood before and after to test whether it worked. Before grounding, rate your level of

·       §  emotional pain, or your level of dissociation. Then re-rate it afterwards. Has it gone down?

·       Try not to make judgements or think negatively. The idea is to distract from the negatives.

·       §  Stay neutral—no judgments of good or bad.

·       §  Focus on the present, not the past or future.

·       §  Grounding is much more active than relaxation exercises and focuses your attention.

Grounding is deemed to be a better way of coping with PTSD and dissociative disorders than relaxation practice. As during relaxation the focus is too much within the body, which at the worst may bring on flashbacks.

WAYS TO GROUND

MENTAL GROUNDING

o    Describe to yourself in detail your surroundings: For example “The walls are white, there are three pink chairs and a blue sofa. There is a picture of a brown border collie on the wall with a gold frame around it.” You can do this out loud if appropriate, or in your head if you are in public.

o    Play a game like “Scattergories” in your head or with a friend or family member. Choose a letter of the alphabet and try and come up with as many examples of a category you choose as you can. For example C … Boys names: Christopher, Curtis, Carl, Charles etc.

o    Do an age progression. IThis can be particularly useful if you have dissociated or regressed to a younger alter or state. For example in my experiences I have an alter who is three. So I might say… Now I am four, I am at home with Mummy and Daddy and I can do (an example of an age appropriate activity) alone. Work your way up until you are back to your current age. This may not always work for little alters, but can help.

o    Describe an everyday activity in great detail. For example if you like gardening “I open the shed door and pull out the lawn mower, I connect it to a power supply and climb on. I turn the key and put it into drive….”

o    Imagine. For example make up a nice little story in your head, or out loud. “I am putting some roller skates on, and I am slowly gliding away from all my emotional suffering down a beautiful smooth lane, having fun listening to my favourite music LOUD!”

o    Say a safety statement. ‘My name is _________; I am safe right now. I am in the present, not the past. I am in _____________ the date is _____________.

·        Read something, saying each word to yourself. Or read each letter backwards so that you focus or the letters and not on the meaning of words.

·        Use humour: For example have a “Funny Memory Bank” where you store up your favourite witty moments for those detached, rainy days.  

·        Count to 100 or say the alphabet very slowly or very fast.

·        Repeat something meaningful to yourself, such as a prayer or quote. For example you could use the Serenity Prayer.

PHYSICAL GROUNDING

û Run cool or warm water over your hands.

û  Grab tightly onto your chair as hard as you can.

·       û  Touch various objects around you: a pen. keys, your clothing, the table, the walls. Pay close attention to colours, weights, textures etc.

·       û  Firmly stamp your feet on the floor, literally grounding yourself. Feel the tension of your feet against the pressure of the floor.

·       û  Carry a ground object in your pocket—a small object such as a rock, stone, crystal, bead, piece of string or cloth, or a stress ball that you can touch whenever you feel triggered.

·       û  Jump up and down.

·       û  Stretch reach upwards and pull yourself tall. Extend your arms, legs, fingers and toes.

·       û  Walk slowly, noticing each footstep.

·       û  Eat something yummy. Notice the flavours, textures and feelings that come up for you.

SOOTHING GROUNDING

·        Use Cheerleading statements, as if you were talking to a small child. For example “You are having a difficult time adjusting to these chanes, but you are doing so well. You should be proud of yourself.”

·        Think of favorites. Think of your favorite color, animal, season, food, time of day, TV show.

·        Picture people you care about. Even get a photobook made of positive pictures or pictures of people you love! Such a simple nice way to ground, and you can get A4 photo books at the moment from GroupOn for under £7!! (I in no way endorse them I just thought it was a good offer!)

·        Remember the words to an inspiring song, quotation or poem that you like or feel positively about. Maybe write out the words and decorate it for your wall.

·        Remember a safe place. Describe a place that you find very soothing it could be when you went on holiday to the beach, or walking in the woods. Or just a time you felt safe and peaceful at home in your living room or in bed.

·        Plan out a safe treat for yourself, such as a trip to a coffee shop with a friend, making a nice dinner or a bath with some nice toiletries or candles if you feel safe to use them

·        Think of things you are looking forward to in the next week. Perhaps schedule your time so you build some structure for chores and pleasurable activities. It can help to know what you are doing and also not just sit at home with nothing to do. This can cause difficulties.

WHAT IF GROUNDING DOESN’T WORK?

Practice as often as possible. Even when you don’t feel overwhelmed or dissociative. This way it will come more naturally to you when you are struggling.

Practice faster. Speeding up the pace gets you focused on the outside world quickly.
Try grounding for a Ioooong time 20 mins at least, and then repeat !!
Try to notice whether you do better with physical or mental or soothing grounding.

Create your own methods of grounding. Any method you make up may be worth much more than those you read here because it is yours.

Start grounding early in a negative mood cycle. Start when you begin to feel the early warning signs of dissociation or when you have just started having a flashback.

anonymous asked:

are you doing this to be funny, or do you actually enjoy Arthur this much?

YOU KNOW HOW you start liking something as a joke and then four years later you find yourself neck-deep in genuine enjoyment for a children’s tv show? yyyeah

The cupcake

“We have to help him, Ron.” Hermione told her boyfriend. “You know how he is, if you don’t push him, he will never make the first move.”

 “And what do you suggest we do, Hermione? It’s not like we can make her so something… We don’t even know if she likes him back!” He answered.

“Well, I think there is a way.” She smiled. “Come with me to the library.” 

“Bloody library.” Ron said under his breath.

“Did you say something?”

“No, nothing at all.”


When Harry entered the 8th year common room Ron and Hermione were going around giving cupcakes to who was there.

“Hello, Harry, do you want a cupcake?” Hermione asked when she saw him.

He grabbed the cupcake she was giving him and ate it while she explained that she had made them herself, not wanting the house elves to have any more work.

“Go give this one to Cho.” She said suddenly and gave him a cupcake that was just slightly different from the one he had just ate.

“Ok…” He looked at her suspiciously.

Hermione smiled at her friend and watched as he went in Cho’s direction to give her the cupcake. What Hermione wasn’t expecting, however, was Malfoy entering the common room in that moment and Harry walking towards him and giving him the bloody spiked cupcake with a nod and a tense “Malfoy”.

Draco looked at Potter weirdly, not knowing what to make out of the situation. Why, in the name of Merlin, was bloody Harry Potter giving him a cupcake like they were some sort of Hufflepuff friends?

“Why are you giving me a cupcake, Potter?” He asked.

“It was Hermione’s idea.” He shrugged. “She’s giving cupcakes to everyone.”

Then, the boy smiled and walked away living Draco looking at the cupcake in his hand stunned.

After looking around the room and seeing everyone enjoying their cupcakes – even Blaise and Pansy, - Draco took a careful bite and promised himself he would never admit aloud just how good the cupcake actually was.

Only Ron saw the look of terror on Hermione’s face as Malfoy ate the cupcake.


“What do you mean, Hermione?” Draco heard someone hissing when he left his dorm room in the middle of the night to go the bathroom 

“I mean exactly what I said, Ron.”

“So, Harry gave Malfoy the cupcake he was supposed to give to Cho?” 

Draco peeked around the corner at the scene in the common room and saw Granger nodding her head, sitting on the sofa and looking guilty.

“So, what will happen now?” Weasley asked.

“I guess we just have to get ready for a week full of Malfoy… He will want to be with Harry all the time. You know it, Ron, George was the one sending you the potion, he explained everything that would happen once someone had it and, just like he said, the only way it won’t change the person’s behaviour is if they already have feelings for the person who gave it to them. This is Malfoy and Harry we are talking about.”

Draco looked at the two of them in disbelief. If he understood correctly, Granger and Weasley had spiked a cupcake with some kind of love potion George Weasley sold at the store, they gave the cupcake to Potter so he could give it to Cho Chang, but Potter gave the cupcake to Draco and he had eaten it, meaning that he would apparently be in love with Potter for a week.

However, he didn’t feel any different and he knew why: the potion didn’t affect the behaviour of those who already had feelings for the one who gave it to them, or so Granger had said. Draco knew he couldn’t just act like he normally did towards Potter, or else Weasley and Granger would find out the truth about his feelings.

Seeing only one way out, Draco decided that during the week the potion would have effect he would show his love for Harry Potter and then blame it on the potion and make the two Gryffindor idiots who spiked the bloody cupcake pay for it.


When Harry sat at the Gryffindor table the next morning for breakfast he was met with guilty expressions on Ron and Hermione’s faces. 

“Good morning.” He greeted while sitting down next to Ron.

“Morning.” Hermione answered even though she didn’t look him in the eyes.

“Ok, what did you do?” Harry asked looking at his two best friends.

Hermione and Ron shared look and Hermione sighed, looking like she was ready to spill whatever they had done, but before she could Malfoy sat down next to her, in front of Harry, and she looked down at her food.

“Hello, Potter.”

“Malfoy.” Harry nodded.

Harry looked at him weirdly, not knowing why the other boy decided to sit with them instead of the Slyhterins. It wasn’t unusual that the houses mixed during meals, however, it was unusual for Malfoy to sit with the Golden Trio.

They ate breakfast in a tense silence and, when they finished, Malfoy got up and said “See you later, Potter” before he exited the Great Hall.


For three days, Malfoy had sat with them for meals. He tried to make conversation and Harry was surprised to see that he actually enjoyed the boy’s company. Malfoy was different from the people Harry usually hang out with; the Slytherin was sarcastic, - sometimes even making mean comments – and his humour was different from what Harry was used to, but, in a way, it was kind of refreshing. 

Now, they were both in the library studying for potions; seeing Harry struggling with the lessons, Draco had offered to help and they had already been there for an hour.

“I think it’s enough for today, Potter.”

Harry yawned and nodded, closing his books and putting them in his bag. Draco smiled seeing the sleepy boy that he found adorable.

“Come on, Potter, I don’t think you want to fall asleep in the middle of the library.”

Shaking his head, Draco grabbed Harry’s hand and pulled him out of the library in the direction of the common room, their fingers intertwining in the way and neither of them doing anything to pull them apart. When they got to the common room, they said goodnight to those who were still awake and stopped at the Harry’s bedroom’s door.

“Good night, Harry” Draco smiled and kissed the boy’s forehead, before going to his room and leaving him behind.


The next day, Harry didn’t pay attention in his classes; he was too busy daydreaming about a certain boy. It surprised Harry when, the night before, Malfoy had kissed his forehead; why had he done that? Harry couldn’t tell and, somehow, he didn’t care, as long as the other boy did it again. 

At supper, Malfoy sat next to Harry at the Gryffindor table, closer than he had sat the days before, making Harry blush and smile down at his food when he felt their thighs brush. Hermione and Ron had the same guilty expressions they had been wearing for some days now.

“Are you guys ok?” Malfoy asked. 

Ron looked at Hermione, nodded his head slightly and she sighed looking up at Harry and Malfoy.

“We have something to tell you both.” She said.

“Ok, tell us.” Malfoy put his fork down.

“Not here” Ron shook his head. “Not in the Great Hall where there are so many people.”

When they finished eating, Ron and Hermione got up and told Harry and Malfoy they would meet them in the common room, so they could talk.

“What do you think they want to tell us?” Harry asked the other boy.

“I think I have an idea, but let’s go and see.”

Draco got up and Harry mirrored his actions and they exited the Great Hall together.

“Harry…” Draco called when they were just about to enter the common room.

“Yeah?”

“I want you to remember that I do what I do because I want to.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“You’ll see. Just don’t forget what I said, ok?”

Harry smiled at the boy in front of him and leaned up to kiss his cheek; Malfoy blushed and Harry thought that the redness in his pale cheeks suited him and decided that he would do anything just to see the other boy flushed again. Malfoy smiled down at him and grabbed his hand, intertwining their fingers and pulling him to the common room, where Ron and Hermione were waiting for them in front of one of the fireplaces.

The only other people in the common room were sitting at the table playing chess and Draco knew that the couple in front of the fireplace had decided to talk there because it would be almost empty, as most of the 8th years were still having supper.

Harry and Draco sat next to them and the sight of them sitting so close with their hands clasped and fingers intertwined seemed to make Hermione look like she was about to cry.

“We did something” Ron finally said. “Just don’t get too mad, Harry.”

Harry looked at them feeling slightly scared about what they could have possibly done.

“Ok” he answered. “I’ll try not to get mad.”

“We really didn’t mean for this to happen, Harry,” Hermione rushed. “We just wanted to help you with Cho.”

Harry felt Draco’s hand twitch in his own and gripped it tighter, not really realising what he was doing.

“What do you mean?” He asked his best friends.

“Oh, Harry, we know you like her!”

“But… where did you get that idea from?”

“You told us that you liked someone, but you wouldn’t say who… She was the only person we could think of.”

“I don’t like Cho.” Harry scoffed. “But that’s not the point. What did you do?”

“Remember when I gave out cupcakes on Sunday?”

Harry nodded.

“Well, there was a reason behind it.” She continued quietly.

“Just spit it out already!” Draco exclaimed.

“We spiked one of the cupcakes with one of George’s love potions.”

“What?”

“I gave a cupcake to you and told you to give it to Cho, remember?”

“But I never gave the cupcake to Cho” Harry shook his head. “I gave it to…”

“Malfoy” Ron finished looking at the boy next to Harry.

Draco heard Harry take a deep breath next to him and he could feel the other boy’s rage and betrayal.

“What was the potion supposed to do?”

“For a week, the person who drank it would act in love with the person that gave it to them, unless they already have feelings for each other, then they would act the same.”

There was a thick silence in the air and Draco felt like hexing the two people sitting in front of him when he felt Harry’s hand go limp and stop squeezing his own.

“So, what you are trying to tell me is that, for the past days, Dr-Malfoy has been nice to me because of some potion?”

Ron and Hermione didn’t answer, but they didn’t need to; Harry already knew it and, somehow, it really hurt to know that Malfoy had done everything because of a potion. Draco felt his heart drop when Harry got up without a word and left to his room, not looking back.

“Don’t you have anything to say?” Hermione looked at Draco.

“I already knew.”

“How come?”

“I heard you talking about it on Sunday night.”

“You did? Then why didn’t you try and fight the potion?”

“Why would I fight something that didn’t even work in the first place?”

Hermione and Ron fell silent and Draco just sighed and got up.

“I know you are Gryffindors and all, but not even I thought you could be this stupid!”

The Gryffindors watched as he went to his room and when he was out of sight Ron looked at Hermione with a scared expression.

“Did he mean what I think he meant?”


Harry ignored the other three the following days. His best friends tried talking to him and apologize, but he wouldn’t let them. 

Seeing that the boy preferred being left alone, Draco didn’t try talking to him and decided that the best he could do was wait until the week of the potion ended so Harry would believe him.

So, on Monday after supper, Draco grabbed Harry’s hand and pulled him to his room, determined to talk to him and to make him see the truth, because some days showing Harry his love wasn’t enough for him.

“What do you want, Malfoy?”

“Why do you call me Malfoy again?”

“Isn’t that your name?”

“No! My name is Draco, that’s what you should call me, just like you did this past week.”

“You were under a potion’s influence.”

“No, I wasn’t.”

“What?”

“The potion doesn’t work when the person already has feelings for the one who gave the potion to them.” Draco walked closer to Harry and felt really accomplished when Harry blushed.

“What do you mean?”

Draco rolled his eyes playfully.

“I know you are a Gryffindor, but you’re not so dense, Harry, you know exactly what I mean.” He leaned down and kissed the boy’s lips lightly. “I did what I did because I wanted to, not because of some stupid Weasley, potion.”

And then he kissed him harder and Harry rested his hand on the blond’s chest gasping in surprise when he felt the rapid pace the heart beneath his hand was beating in. Draco took advantage of the gasp to slip his tongue in the other boy’s mouth and both of them saw little colourful sparks behind their eyelids.

“Draco” Harry whispered when they parted to breathe.

Draco just smiled and pushed Harry to lay on the bed slipping in next to him and putting his arms around him protectively.

“I hope you know that I will have to get revenge somehow” he said. “They don’t have the right to poison me, even if it didn’t work!”

“I’ll help you” Harry smiled at the Slytherin.

They cuddled closer to each other and let sleep overtake them.


Masterlist

Mean Imperials

Tarkin: “Oh my god! I love your cape, where did you get it?”

Krennic: “Uh, I’ve had it since the Clone Wars.”

Tarkin: “Vintage. So adorable.”

Krennic: “Thanks!”

Tarkin [ turning to Vader ]:  “That is the ugliest effing cape I’ve ever seen.”

Tarkin [ to Vader ]: “Oh my god! I love your breathing apparatus, where did you get it?”