So generally, I’m a good internet citizen, and as a rule, I don’t read the comments. On anything. Ever. With some of the publicity that the UfYH book has been getting lately, though, I’ll admit to briefly losing reason from time to time and reading some comments. And there’s one kind of comment I keep coming across that makes me want to scream:
“This is so stupid. I mean, it’s so easy. Just clean up your house. No need for lists or tricks. Just clean it.”
“Can’t this whole article be shortened up to: don’t be a slob?”
“Ugh, how hard is it these days that we need all these ways of telling people how to clean?“
And I always refrain from responding, because I haven’t completely taken leave of my senses, but here’s what I always want to say:
“If you think it’s easy, then this isn’t for you.” That’s it. If you think it’s easy, or stupid, or unnecessary, UfYH wasn’t meant for you. If you think articles and books about cleaning are pointless, well, I’m not sure why you read them except to be a jerk about it in comments. It’s meant for everyone else. For people who don’t know how to clean. Or who don’t know where to start. For people who can’t do it the way they were taught because that takes energy or mobility that they don’t have. For people who are overwhelmed. Or ashamed. It’s OK to be any or all of those things, no matter what sanctimonious strangers on the internet say. If you’re any of those things and you’re here, you’re using the resources you can find to try to make things better for yourself. Isn’t that the point of the internet (well, that and cute animal gifs)?
Screw those jerks who think that because it’s easy for them, that it’s easy for everybody. It’s not. Don’t let them fool you into thinking you’re somehow lesser in any way because you don’t innately know or instinctively do this stuff. There are way more of us than there are of them; we just usually keep quiet about it for any number of reasons (shame, fear, judgment, frustration…). They can go feel smug about their clean houses or whatever somewhere else. Now, go clean, be awesome, and don’t read the comments.
Dick once accidentally sucked up Tim’s iPad charger with the vacuum.
Damian once intentionally attacked Tim with the vacuum. They ended up having to cut his hair just to set him loose and Tim was not happy.
When told to clean his room, Jason would, without fail, stuff everything into the closet and drawers… only to be busted by Alfred.
Cass tends to do the same thing at her place, but more because she genuinely thinks she’s cleaning? Alfred is appalled when he opens a closet door and Literally Everything pours out.
Damian and Tim once had a “Windex fight”.
Dick is really bad for not pointing the nozzle in the right direction when dusting or cleaning, and has sprayed himself in the eye many, many times.
Jason once mopped the kitchen and forgot to tell anyone… so Bruce came back from patrol and slipped, falling face-down on the floor. When confronted, Jason shrugged and said that if Bruce had let him go on patrol “this wouldn’t have been a problem”.
There is an ongoing competition to see who can scare Damian while he’s cleaning and wearing his headphones the most. Dick is currently winning with 7 confirmed scares.
Eight-year-old Dick being made to do the occasional chore (at the behest of Bruce, “to teach him the values of diligence and hard work”) and singing “It’s The Hard-knock Life” from Annie just to piss of Alfred and Bruce. It works.
Dick fell out of a window once when he was cleaning one of the top floor windows. Tried to do it again because he claimed it was “good practice”.
Steph is forbidden from cleaning or touching anything in Wayne Manor after breaking a rare, antique vase that cost $1.2 million. She’s allowed to sit on the couch though.
Babs definitely stress cleans. Like, everything in sight. Don’t leave your stuff out when Babs gets really stressed because she will probably throw it away.
Dick dances and sings while he cleans, which means it takes him much longer and gets on everyone’s nerves because it’s usually cheesy pop or 80′s tunes.
Bruce once took it upon himself to clean his own shower and Alfred found him laying on the bathroom floor, barely conscious, a strong fume permeating the room:
Alfred: *coughing through the fumes* Master Bruce! What on earth is— is that fear toxin?! Laughing gas?
Bruce: No… *weakly points to a spray container* I used too much… Cillit Bang….
Alfred: *slowly stands and leaves the room without another word*
“What about Clarke’s/ALIE’s line about “Too many people”? You could combine it with Clarke’s desperation (the list of people and her outburst) in contrast to ALIE’s indifference (the launching of the nuclear bombs)”
8-9/100 days of productivity
Yesterday I was productive in another way, meaning I cleaned my room, did some reading and went to see the flat I might me renting for the next year. Today I finally started writing my essay ft. listening to Hamilton soundtrack and eating rice with roasted sweet potato and broccoli and guacamole! This happens when I have four hours between classes and decide to spend them in a productive way.