“I live with my mom and uncles. There are twelve of us in one house. Everyone is sacrificing so that I can go to university. My mom works in restaurants and cleans houses. All her money goes to my tuition. She always tells me just to focus on school. We were short on money last semester, but she told me: ‘Don’t worry about it. I’ll find it. You just continue.’ She’s always been like that. She never wants me to be stressed. My dad passed away when I was a young child. So we’ve always struggled. Sometimes when I was growing up, there would only be enough for one meal. And my mom always said that she wasn’t hungry. I didn’t realize until I was older that she had only been pretending.”
“We just shouldn’t promote that kind of lifestyle. It’s unhealthy.”
Listen to me. I’m putting two girls side-by-side.
The girl on the left is hip-bone collar-bone thigh-gap
skinny because she’s whittled herself down to one meal a day and she fasts on
weekends so she can “make up” for the calories in alcohol, so she can get drunk
faster on less at parties and stay skinny, stay desirable while she lights up snapchat
and Instagram with glimpses of a life that society, in no uncertain terms,
The girl on the right is overweight because she eats too
“We shouldnt promote it because it’s unhealthy.” Bullshit. Bullshit. Absolute hypocritical bullshit. Because only
one of these girls is going to be labeled “unhealthy.” You know which. I know
which. And It’s got jackshit to do with health.
This argument shouldn’t be allowed to exist until the internet gives some semblance of a genuine shit about eating
disorders or binge drinking or malnourishment. Because those have been
glorified and polished gold by every facet of media and somehow—somehow—the self-righteous assholes of
the internet don’t feel compelled to voice their worthless two cents about the “health”
of the Instagram models they jerk it to.
If you’re so driven to advocate for women’s health, get the
fuck off the internet and go ask your little sister why she skipped dinner. And
leave fat girls the fuck alone.
People always say find reasons to keep living when you’re depressed. And you should, but they don’t have to be deep or profound reasons.
Keep living because a book you want to read doesn’t come out until next month.
Keep living because your mom said she’d make your favorite food for dinner.
Keep living because the weather is supposed to be nice tomorrow and you can go swimming, or biking, or just sit on the lawn.
Your reason doesn’t have to be “because I’ll find my purpose” or something equally grandiose. Stay alive because you want to visit the neighbor’s dog. Because of that movie you want to see. Because you want to read one more book, draw one more picture, cook one more meal, take one more walk.
Find those small reasons to keep going and then keep finding them. Sometimes those anchors can keep you afloat and that’s all you need. To keep staying afloat until it does get easier.
me, signing up for a course on Early Celtic legends: Oh Boy I Can’t Wait To Learn Everything This Class Has To Offer And Expand My Knowledge And Write About The Many Fascinating Attributes Of This Culture!!!
also me, 11pm on the night before the paper is due, looking at a blank document: fuck the early irish and their satanic love of Lists