me: ttoi

3

Malcolm’s birthday and Peter’s birthday aren’t quite the same thing, but who care, it’s all about the cake.  Yes, indeed, it’s that time of the year again!  C*nt cake for everyone! 

This must be one of the reasons Sam never stops working for him: no one can combine being incredible rude with being incredible sweet and funny the way our Malcolm can.

2

Oh Ollie, you have no idea what you’re in for.  Look at you clutching your carefully worked up policy folders and thinking either one of these guys gives a damn about your brains when the only reason they are letting you anywhere near their communications domain in Number 10 and bothering with the sweet-talking double act is because of what your genital region is doing with a member of the opposition party.

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It is extremely important that everyone ingrain this into their mindboxes and remembers Tucker’s Law