me: ttoi


Malcolm’s birthday and Peter’s birthday aren’t quite the same thing, but who care, it’s all about the cake.  Yes, indeed, it’s that time of the year again!  C*nt cake for everyone! 

This must be one of the reasons Sam never stops working for him: no one can combine being incredible rude with being incredible sweet and funny the way our Malcolm can.


Oh Ollie, you have no idea what you’re in for.  Look at you clutching your carefully worked up policy folders and thinking either one of these guys gives a damn about your brains when the only reason they are letting you anywhere near their communications domain in Number 10 and bothering with the sweet-talking double act is because of what your genital region is doing with a member of the opposition party.


It is extremely important that everyone ingrain this into their mindboxes and remembers Tucker’s Law