me.-dawn

so

I have this lowkey headcanon that Chris knew about the prank they were planning for Hannah. maybe Ashley told him about it, because “it’s just supposed to be funny.” except he doesn’t think it’s funny, at all, but he also doesn’t think any real harm will come of it, so instead of participating, he gets smashed with Josh and just lets it happen, figuring everything will be alright in the morning, because what’s the worst that could happen?

well.

I propose: an au where Chris does tell Josh and the twins about what the others are planning, because he’s protective and as much as he loves a good joke, which this definitely isn’t, he doesn’t want Hannah to get hurt.

Hannah is understandably upset and both Josh and Beth are royally pissed, but while Josh just wants to punch Mike in the face and tell the others to gtfo, Beth has a better idea: she’s going to dress up as Hannah and give them all a surprise.

so with help from Josh and Chris, the twins switch outfits. their hair is a little tricky because Hannah’s is much longer and Beth has bangs, but bobby pins, hair clips, and hats are a godsend. Hannah recreates her tattoo on Beth’s arm with a marker and covers hers with Beth’s sweater, the finishing touches of makeup are applied, and by the end of it Beth is indistinguishable from Hannah to anyone who doesn’t look too close for too long.

Josh preemptively sets up an extra camera in the guest room in case anyone deletes the footage from Matt’s camera, everybody tries to act casual, and then it’s just a matter of time.

when the time finally comes, everyone think’s it’s working; Beth impersonates her sister perfectly, and no one suspects anything is amiss until she moves in like she’s going to kiss Mike…

…and promptly knees him in the balls.

she chews him out, threatens him with worse things if he ever tries to do something like this to her big sister ever again, flips everyone else the bird, and saunters out to roars of laughter from Chris and Josh (and questions from Sam, whom they did not inform for that extra bit of authenticity).

the video goes viral and Mike doesn’t hear the end of it for weeks.

Since the other live-action Superman just made his preview debut I’ve been seeing yet more of the Discourse™ about that guy above in response, specifically that it’s problematic to dislike him being very sad 90% of the time he’s suited up, because that’s not respecting his social issues and depression. And having dealt with depression - old-fashioned, takes medication for it, it’s significantly impacted the course of my life at points, had a panic attack or two depression - I feel like I’m at least somewhat in my lane to say a thing about my problem with this Superman’s portrayal.

I don’t mean the character himself in-universe, right up front. He’s not exactly ‘my Superman’, but he’s objectively a kind and moral person who for the most part does the best he could reasonably be expected to in some very trying circumstances, even if I have problems with the stories he’s embedded in. Henry Cavill does a fine job with him, especially as Clark. But I think to read the creators as having in any way intended him to be suffering from depression or anxiety or any kind of significant social or psychological issues - or moreover to take that as a basic assumption about the canon of those films which must be kept in mind when discussing him that it’s on others to refute, in that frankly very Tumblr way - is reading a hell of a lot more positive intent into it than I think is there.

Not that I’d ever refute anyone who sees him as reflecting their struggles and gets something out of it, even if I personally don’t see any of my own experience with it in there. That need and that ability to connect in unlikely places is something I more than get, with this specific thing included - thinking about it, it’s probably not totally a coincidence Daredevil’s likely my favorite Marvel character. But some seem to take it as the unspoken and essential key to understanding his character the people who don’t like him are missing, and I think that’s really stretching it when the simpler answer just seems to be “the creators wanted to do a movie where people are not happy very much”. If it’s a tossup between interpreting MOS and BVS as subtle works of stark psychological realism, or Snyder and Goyer just wanting to do a Very Dark and Serious Story…given BVS opens with Jimmy Olsen being ironically shot in the face because of what amounts to his signal watch betraying him, I think I’m safe in saying I know which side their bread is buttered on. And it’s that that gets at my real problem, both with this Superman and the larger foundation for the universe that’s been built.*

The simple truth is that Superman’s sad in these movies because the world just kinda constantly shits on him. There’s no nuance to his situation beyond his dad’s worst fears being actually understated given they never accounted for him being introduced to the world via his people leveling a city. Everyone either thinks he’s a monster who’s going to ruin the world just by existing, is implicitly a borderline zealot, or is someone he personally knows - outside of Lois and occasionally some stuff with his parents, everything in his life under Snyder is narrowed down to a masochistically focused never-ending moment of chaos and fear and/or rejection for him to overcome. Which I guess actually would be a pretty fair metaphor for depression if I had any sense that’s what the people involved were going for as a representation of his mindset, rather than an accurate depiction of “real problems that we go through as people every day”, such as survivor’s guilt over murdering the last of your species, or the pressure of being the new Jesus who also has lasers.

And that’s really it - it’s a world where almost everyone’s role in the narrative is as varying degrees of bastard or innocent sheep except for Lois and Clark, right down to his dad not being sure if it’s okay to let other people die to protect yourself, and his mom flat-out telling him he doesn’t have any kind of moral obligation to help people if he doesn’t want to. Even when it’s not being shouted in your ear, even when there’s complication to it, there’s an understanding with most takes on the character that he fundamentally and passionately cares about people and believes in them to be ultimately decent and worth saving. But except for Jor-El’s spiel about the goodness in everyone - which is entirely and specifically undone by the end of that movie, where the conflicted villain turns out to be an animal who needs to be put down after all - there’s never a sense here Clark’s motivated by much beyond a generalized sense of duty and basic conscience. Even the in principle beautiful moment of him telling Lois she is his world right before he sacrifices his life for her is cast in the light of her being the only thing in the world really worth doing it for, given beforehand he’d been on a vision quest to meet his other ghost dad and figure out if the whole superhero thing is even worth it. He’s a Superman in a world where he rescues the people in spite of themselves, rather than because of them.

God, maybe that’s the relatable aspect a certain set are tuning in on? Him as a modern Jesus (something I don’t think works at the best of times), suffering the slings and arrows of a world set against him, sacrificing over and over again for a people who don’t deserve him, who never can and never will? Going to his shitty Superman job to deal with a bunch of nervous ingrates that demand a perfect performance out of him because I guess it’s the right thing to do and he needs to keep his house in order, so he can just go back home to his girlfriend? He’s the romanticized image of modern suffering, soulful in his misery, epic in his pain, living in a broken world he can never fix or even much improve beyond doing his part to keep it from completely falling in on itself, living for the snatches of happiness in-between the dreary, soul-weighing moral compromise and lack of appreciation of his day-to-day life.

That’s a valid story, I suppose, even if I’d maintain it’s not a very well-executed one here. But as someone who deals with plenty of that every day and is good with seeing aspects of it reflected in his heroes - the guy in the red and blue included - the way it’s done in these thus far feels aesthetically like a vindication of that kind of worldview rather than a refutation, regardless of a small handful of solid Daily Planet bits and platitudes slathered on to remind you of the point. And that just leaves me feeling stressed and drained and, yes, just a little bit depressed if I think about it too much.

* Aside from trying to build an expansive superhero world including Robin and Aquaman and Captain Marvel and the Green Lantern Corps on a foundation of pseudo-realism.

OK EVERYONE my id page has been update..coincidentaly i ws considreng being bianca from pokemon so i just switched them and it all worked out!! please dont confront me about not being dawn anymore im realy sorry

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