me-to-everyone-who-tries-to-tell-me-what-to-do

I shouldn’t let people be the reason I’m happy but you were just so unexpected and lord knows I tried to keep you distant but I couldn’t help it. You’re exactly like me and that’s fucking crazy, to have someone who treats you as if you are their idol or something. I don’t know what to do because I’ve never been treated how I’ve always wanted someone to until it came to you. You do whatever it takes to please people and all they do is hurt you. But baby everything in me is telling me to fucking show you how good I can be to you. And I’m fucking doing it. I’m giving you the love you deserve and I’m so fucking happy showing you not everyone is the same. I won’t be filled with so much anger that I drink too much and get physical with you. I won’t ever lay a hand on you. I want to love every part of you that you hate. I won’t fill you with empty promises and leave you. I won’t ever look at you as a fuck up because to me you’re like Einstein with a superman cape. I won’t let my fear come in between us leaving you wondering why I couldn’t just talk it out with you. Fuck everyone who hurt you. I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life showing you how good life is.

My meds save my life each and every day. I can remember what life was like before therapy and before meds, and I would never want to go back to how it was. Even when I was in therapy but not managing my meds well, I was in a bad place so much of the time. I have tried a number of things, but only since taking my meds regularly have I been consistently in an okay place and able to manage my breakdowns.

My meds saved my life and continue to save it. So fuck everyone who has ever told me that I just need more vitamin c or more sunlight or to try yoga or whatever. Exercise and diet are great, and definitely help, but none of that has brought me back from constant suicidality.

Meds aren’t for everyone, and some people do great without them, but stop shitting on those of us who rely on them to keep us okay. All paths to recovery can be good, and please do whatever helps YOU. Don’t tell people that they’re weak or taking the easy way out when they use meds. Don’t tell us that all we need is to start jogging or meditating and we won’t need to have a “dependency” on these “unnatural chemicals”. My meds are a supplement I use to help treat my chronic illness and that I use to be okay.

My meds save my life each and every day.

Saintlike (1/365)

i.

A poet I have only known 12 hours
tells me through Facebook Messenger
how badly he wants to fuck me,
and describes his fantasies in great detail.
When I tell him I am uncomfortable,
he tries to apologize, and calls me a saint
before asking if I like to be tied up
less than a half hour later.


After, I take a 20 minute shower,
then research all the women
who have been canonized
by the Catholic church. 


ii.

at 4:36 PM, Lydia Havens said:

If I were a saint, how would I die?
Would I burn until everyone in the crowd
forgot the meaning of the word no?
Would I kiss the sword before
letting it slice the back of my neck?

If I were a saint, what would
my patronage be? Hesitant kindness?
Uneasy intuition? Do you think
they’d let me share lost causes with Jude?

A girl in Connecticut got her throat cut
because she turned a boy down for prom—
when do you think she’ll be canonized?

Every woman granted sainthood died
at the hands of bewildered, rage-running men.
Their husband, or their king, or their god.
Every man who has ever called me a saint
has also called me a bitch, and left my body
to bruise on its own. But you have not seen pious yet.
If I were a saint, you would tie me to a pyre,
and I would only swallow the flames.
You would drop stones on my chest,
and I would find you again as a landslide.

I rise like reckless rebirth. I don’t shake
around men anymore because I know
an earthquake will find them someday.
If I am a saint, so is every woman
I know. We rebuilt our own temples,
and when we are asked if we’re still afraid,
sometimes we say yes. But is there not
a sort of godly fearlessness in that?

[6]

Everyone gathering around and talking about how amazing they find Sakura is my aesthetic for sure. Thank you Piffle. You’ve given me so much. 

But of course Ryuou senses that his new crush already has a thing for the most amazing racer in the world and immediately tries to find out for sure. IT’S OK RYUOU. LITERALLY NO-ONE COULD COMPETE WITH SAKURA. YOU’LL HAVE YOUR CHANCE WITH ANOTHER SYAORAN SOMEWHERE DOWN THE LINE. JUST YOU WAIT. 

Meanwhile Fai is happily talking to people about his husband and his adopted children and is secretly loving the fact that this would annoy Kurogane so much if he were here. 

anonymous asked:

Parental figure is telling me that me and my partner's relationship won't last due to lack of interface. That the relationship isn't healthy and we won't grow as a couple without it. I think this is utter scap, but you're the local interface god. What do you think?

And they’re absolutely right! If you don’t fulfill your annual interface quota, the Interface Police will audit you and throw you both into the cybertiger pit. Everyone knows that.

No, really, it’s utter scrap. Interface as much or as little as makes you both happy. Anyone who tries to advise you otherwise is taking an unsettlingly vivid interest in your intimate life and should really look into more substantial hobbies.

  • Jenni: What would you change about the job, if you could, now?
  • JEMIMA: Ugh, I think season two.
  • JENNI: Your whole season?
  • LENA: That was the season where you said I had to get out of your dressing room or you were gonna punch me, Jem.
  • JEMIMA: Season two was kind of traumatic for me. I think for everyone. And I know that I was a bit of a tyrant myself.
  • LENA: I think it’s time for us to disclose to the world that, like, three days before season two, Jemima tried to quit. [Laughter.]
  • JEMIMA: Yeah. My sense of who I was and what I wanted was really thin. I really wasn’t sure what the f-ck I was doing.
  • LENA: I remember being in a cab. And Jemima called me. She was like, “I have to tell you something. It’s not a big deal. I don’t want you to freak out. I want to quit the show.” [Laughter.]
  • JENNI: We’re so glad you stayed, Jem
Happy New Year Everyone!!

I hope with all the complications of 2016, you were able to do something you always wanted to do. Found something out about yourself, laughed, tried something new, and had fun! I hope for anyone who had a bad 2016, or a great one, I hope 2017 is an amazing year for you!!

I also want to take this time to say thank you to each and every one of you for helping me with this blog. Thank you to all who: like my edits, send in requests, reblog my edits, help me figure out who said what quote, follow my blog, and send in sweet messages telling me how much you like this blog those always make me so happy and tear up because wow. 
Also we hit 10,000 followers which is still wild and as I type this I’m 3 away from 11,000?? Holy cow you all are so nice. 

So closing 2016, I hope you have a great NYE! Party responsibly too! I hope everyone has a fantastic 2017 that brings you tons of new opportunities! 

Originally posted by michaejones

this is my view

over the course of my years in high school, i’ve learned many things (90% of which I do not remember because that 90% is the stuff I learned in class). as for the other percentage of things i’ve learned, they are what got me through and continue to get me through my high school days.

i recognize that i’m not the easiest to talk to or easiest to approach, and in the beginning of my high school years i tried my best to come off as friendly and sweet. i became passive and i became one of those people who just went with whatever everyone else did. i’d like to think that i’ve shed that skin because it honestly doesn’t matter what other people think. as long as you understand yourself and are content with who you are, that is enough. that being said, marks shouldn’t make you feel pathetic or stupid when you’re unhappy with them. they do not define you. think of them as another person giving you constructive criticism. it doesn’t mean you suck; it means that you have potential to do even greater things. you have room to grow.

and guess what? growing is what you’ll do the most during these years. the best part about high school is taking all the opportunities you’re given to do things you’ve never done before. any weaknesses you think you have are just unpolished skills; you can refine them. have no sense of balance? that’s okay, you can still learn to ski. not the best with technology? try joining tech crew anyways. even if you don’t make the cut, you’ll still learn something. and that’s the wonderful thing; it doesn’t matter if you fail. that’s what i hope you’ll eventually learn, because as long as you put good effort into what you do, you will learn to be proud of yourself for doing something you made yourself do, even if you didn’t want to do it. (like your homework.)

most of all, remember to live. days get hard, and though we all experience things differently, i can tell you one thing: one of the best feelings in the world is when you’re living a moment you know you’ll remember forever because you’ll feel like you’re at the top of the world and that you are invincible. life can’t get any better, but yes, there will be even better times to come!

so take chances. experience. learn. reflect. and as you do these things, not only will you feel a little more content, but you’ll come to appreciate the wonderful things we take for granted in our lives - the jubilant seemingly endless, timeless, but actually evanescent,

memories.

Have a text post about my awkward absence lol.

So, my dad who I haven’t seen in eleven years called and asked if he could visit. I said sure, just let us know when. He showed up two days later, but at least he did inform us of when. (He called that morning to say he would be here before/around 7pm, showed u at 4pm.)

This is day 3 of what has been an interesting visit. And because I’m me, he’s staying here, because I feel like saying hey go get a hotel is awkward.

But my kids adore him, and he’s pleasant for the most part. Hard to believe that he’s the same guy who went nuts with a gun at my mom and had to be dragged away in handcuffs, and then forced us to get restraining orders after he tried to kidnap me.

Stranger still, my mother is now facebook friends with him lmao.

Time is a weird thing. Also heart attacks. Apparently those make you think about the family you don’t have anymore. Guess the idea of dying alone got to him.

Just heard from my boss that that homophobic fucker Robert who threatened me at work is finally fired. Went to the courthouse today and found out that not only can I not file a harassment order until Tuesday, it’s going to cost me $93 to do so. So I’m gonna go ahead and return to work Sunday and Monday and probably just be scared the whole time but Tuesday the order will be filed and after that I’ll feel fine. Thanks to everyone who offered support and empathy and who encouraged me to speak up and get help.

From what my boss tells me it sounds like Robert just wants to take the L and get out of Washington state as soon as he can. So I’m not worried cause there’s already a police report on file so if he comes near me or tries anything he’ll only be causing himself more problems.

roguelioness  asked:

Cute asks: 12, 26, 31, 43 :D

Thank you my dear @roguelioness also, I like the Olde Omelet better than Olde Codger ROFL

12.  what is your favourite song of all time? Right Here Waiting by Richard Marx, dunno why lol

26.  what emotion do you feel most often? Sad, yo I am a depressive ROFL :) 

31.  What is your favourite scent? Warm Vanilla Sugar from Bath and Body Works. For like room freshener I really like anything Honeysuckle or Magnolia for my wax warmers. I also like Sunflowers cheapie perfume and Beautiful by Este Lauder

43. Have you ever broken someone’s heart? No, I don’t think so. Everyone who I’ve broken up with actually broke up with me except my Ex husband and he didn’t really care. I mean he tried to guilt me into not wanting a divorce by telling me he had cancer…I mean REALLY? but then left me in FL in a Hotel with no money so clearly didn’t give a rats ass. lol

Go Ahead, ask me some Cute Asks

“but you are always too intense
frightening in the way you want him
unashamed and sacrificial
he tells you that no man can live up to the one who
lives in your head
and you tried to change didn’t you?
closed your mouth more
tried to be softer
prettier
less volatile, less awake
but even when sleeping you could feel
him traveling away from you in his dreams
so what did you want to do love
split his head open?
you can’t make homes out of human beings
someone should have already told you that
and if he wants to leave
then let him leave
you are terrifying
and strange and beautiful
something not everyone knows how to love.”

Wendy: “Well I ended up poofing us back to my room. I tried talking with him to figure out who he was or what he did with Ludwig, but he wouldn’t budge.

So I did what any reasonable girl would do with a stranger she was sittin’ alone in a room with.

I snatched his wallet.

Afterwards it got kinda weird and awkward, cause I checked his driver’s license, and APPARENTLY he had the same name as Ludwig but isn’t the same Ludwig? He didn’t remember a thing about me or ANY of us for that matter. I still figured it had to be him, though. Maybe from the future or something? I tried jogging his memory by telling him stuff about himself and everyone else.

I would have pried it out of him with a spell, but with how things have been going with my magic, exploded heads wouldn’t get me anywhere.

It’s just…

Everyone else got to do stuff for Halloween and Christmas and now there’s a NEW YEAR’S party going on while I’ve been having to deal with this guy for who knows how long and…

I just…

I just want our Ludwig back.”

Let me just leave this here...

Misconceptions are unavoidable in this industry. This year has definitely been a ride more than anything. I’ve tried my best to keep who I really am but to be completely honest and open… I lost that girl.

The girl who had goals and direction succumbed to weakness and spiralled downwards emotionally. I was treating everyone differently, often, horribly. And I just did not care. It’s even tougher when you feel like the ears once peeled open have shrivelled or been blocked with wax.

I was just trying to follow my heart and people couldn’t understand when I was telling them that I had finally found what I wanted to do and who I wanted to become, when I did that I had to tread on my own. People see joy all over my cyberspace but with every bit that I post it’s just my mechanism of hiding the murkiness that was building inside of me. The “band-aid effect.” I guess. Cover it up for now, it’ll be fine. The band-aid rips. Replace it again. You forget that you have to let it heal openly. But that’s just what I’ve grown accustomed to. Hiding it all. Sweeping it underneath the rug.

Sure, we all post our own dramatic cryptic tweets, screenshots of songs we echo with, quotes we latch onto because it makes us feel less alone for the few seconds that you read it. Favorites, likes, retweets of all the cyber friends you have… but after all the highlights you throw out for all to see, you come back into bed at night and wonder where you spent all those waking hours. No one to talk to, so you sink into the seams day in and day out.

I’m currently trying to exhale all that has caused me to feel this way. I’ve talked to people that help and I’ve eradicated myself from the crime scene. ~ Hello, Australia ~

Yesterday, I finally got to read the write up in my last cover for the year. (Thank you, Toff my love). “To Pimp A Butterfly” was its title. I never got to really dissect what that phrase meant and so when the writer explained it throughout the article, I kind of withered back into being a caterpillar with band aids all over. I guess I’m physically miles away in order to prepare myself to become the strong butterfly that he calls me, ready for the year ahead where I know many more misconceptions will take place, many more people will not listen, many more times will… - actually, should - bring me down. So far down that it might cause another breakdown. But hey, that will be fine because… Well, what the heck? Am I not making progress now?

To be aware of it all is the greatest power because then I know where to go ahead with it.

So to everyone that I hurt along the way of it all… I deeply apologize. I do.

However, let me make it clear that I do not apologize that I struggled through and through alone and that through the process of that I did not seem to see your end. All I wanted was for someone to take a peek at my end. We are all just trying to become better versions of ourselves in the midst of all the bs we face.  

Since I’m at making an apology already let me end with a thank you to everyone that did put up with everything. And to all those that understood where I was coming from… new and old friends, workmates, family, my supporters, but most of all to the strangers I met at work. The writers that unveiled who I truly am in this chaotic concrete jungle with sore flashing lights. I appreciate every single person that wrote about “#Eagle21″(haha, yes I made a hashtag for myself. How millennial of me). But to Ro and Kara*, you two frightened me with your questions and it was also to the two of you that I was the most honest. Never held back. Challenged and often struggled to answer. And to think both your interviews were also just squeezed in. Thank you a thousand fold because I’ve now gained courage and confidence to say what I want to say in order to make a change and spark hope in myself and to those that are losing it.

Have a happy holiday, everyone! Just wanted to leave something here before I finish this wild year. Grateful to have had all the support everyone gave me from the industry and from my family and friends and my fans (I still can’t believe that I have fans, lol).

*Romeo Moran interviewed me for Scout Magazine Dec ‘15-Jan ‘16. Kara Ortiga for Esquire Magazine Oct ‘15. 

* No.

* I wish I hadn’t done so many. But I’m glad I did, because I learned from my mistakes. The first time I freed the Underground, I told Miss Toriel I had a home to go back to.

* I was not welcome. If I didn’t reset, who knows what could’ve happened to me? I ran away for a reason. I started doing things just to see what would happen. So I spared some monsters.

* And I killed others. Sometimes I’d kill nearly everything, or spare nearly everything.

* And I’ve tried resetting many times to save this goober. It never worked. But he’s not stuck in the underground as a flower anymore. And I didn’t have to reset to do it!

* But now, everyone is okay. Everyone’s been on the surface for months now and Papyrus, Miss Toriel, and Asgore help me with regulating human-monster relations. 

Hey guys ! So I’m a huge slacker when it comes to these. (I also hope you enjoy this fantastic A++ header that I made in 2 minutes) BUT I REACHED 800 FOLLOWERS.  I think that’s pretty cool considering I’m a total dork who is so lame compared to all yall

I am not sure what I’m going to for sure do to celebrate this- but maybe I’ll try fancasts or making lame aesthetic collages for your characters / ships ? If you have an opinion on this or anything please tell me ! 

I’m going to (try) to keep this shorter because tagging a ton always makes my blog wonky. But a big thanks to all of you; even if not mentioned, I’m so glad I have people who make me feel happy

*Not alphabetized. sorry the homework is a lot right now*

_

@youre-fucking-gorgeous @teacupdestiel @coldinthestudio  @padaleckhi @elegantcas @hells-shining-knight @thesupercastiel @starlightmish @castiel-sexhair @squishymish @deanobviouslybottoms @mysticmoonhigh @dreamy-dean @lovemydean-o-saur @sugarcookiedean @alexwestiel @princessncvak @beehivecas @castieltherebel @jarepadalecki @synergygabriel @unwinchesters @autumnovak @zothealien @thatfanwriter @mishackl @mishkacas @queenmishka @dirtymish @kaethecelt @schvylers @nikztiel @sadbenny @leviathncas @stardusted-cas @winchester-bakery @casthetics @constellationcas @lucifeur @mishasmuffin @polaroidcas @clarinetcas @monkeymish @feministcastiel @deafwinchester @katastiel @nerdjensen 

@asperacas @saltwatercas @mishkajackles @dammitjensen @qveenofmoons @teasejensen @mxstersmeg @celestialackles @kittiecas @lunamisha @mlkywaycas @whitepawsblacktail @sunshinecas @sortajensen @honeywincest @exhaustedangels @grandcastiel @samwinchestertrash @mgmasters @casbabe @sparksflycastiel @mishashoneybee @icecreamcastiel @buckybarnesthedoritoslut @zeppelininanimpala @dustybooksandclassicrock @sailorvegeta13 @itstuesdaysam @deathtwonormalcy @lamebloglamerblogger

@johnnwinchester @brinchestiel @cassiexena @thevillageidjit @ohmyfreddy @adoringjensen @royalrowena @radiatecas @dollhousedean @autumnwhisp  @starwarsdestiel @fawnjensen @faeriecharlie @celestielcas @heavensendcas @sunbearsammy @ccwinchester @thylasam @jenmish @stxrdustcas @jewelcas @deanscolette

People who is telling shit about Bismuth because she tried to kill Steven but also forgets that Lapis and Peridot also tried to do that are slowly making me madder and madder

Like… Ok yeah Bismuth made a mistake and a huge one but am I the only one who is starting to notice a patron about what character is loved or hated? Like when Lapis broke Peri’s recorder people didn’t minded but when Amethyst threw her tablet everyone went nuts… 

I am gonna say this and its gonna sound a little harsh, y’all know me, y’all know I hate getting into drama, I hate making people feel bad, and I hate trowing conclusions out of nowhere but… is it me or the characters that are hated the most are the non-skinny or “””””non atractive”””””” (cuz tbh they all are super beutiful and great)  ones…? 

2

this summer has been me breaking free. i dated a guy last spring who tried to change and possess me. he tried to tell me who I was wasn’t enough, he ridiculed everyone who wasn’t exactly like him and would tell me the people I’ve known for years didn’t care about me. I realized a boy from my freshman year of high school has had this sort of sick control over me for almost three years. He walks in and out of my life when it’s convenient for him, and I caught myself changing what I wore or how I looked just in case I saw him. This voice developed in the back of my head, saying I wasn’t good enough just because he didn’t want me anymore. I started to think for myself this summer and not for some boy. My blue hair was more than just some temporary fun, it was a turning point in who I am. saying “I did this for myself. no one else’s opinion was considered and I didn’t do it to impress you.” it’s saying much more, on how confident and outgoing I am after I was so depressed I wouldn’t leave my house for weeks. it’s saying I love myself and who I am because I used to not eat for so long I couldn’t even get out of bed in the morning. this summer I surrounded myself with new people, danced on tables, but more importantly I fell in love with myself. I hope that everyone who is struggling with toxic relationships finds your true worth. I hope that everyone who deals with a mental illness is at peace with who you are. I never believed anyone who told me “I gets better.” But I am undeniably happy for the first time in a very long time. 💙

I never should have gone in there.
I never should have left Hiro behind.
It’s been months, and all I’ve been able to do is watch as he tried to adjust to life without me.
I plead with him to get some sleep, to eat, to do something.  But he can’t hear me.  He can’t see me.  He doesn’t even know I can see him. All I can do is watch and hope he’ll be okay.
This is all my fault.
Nobody understood Hiro like I did.  Aunt Cass is close, but not the way I was.  He’s lost all hope, and the only one who could do something about it was me.
But here I am, stuck in my own personal hell and watching my brother mourn.
I’m trapped just as he is, watching him on a screen from light years away in some place the others treat as paradise.
No place is paradise, not with what I’ve done. Not with what I’ve put everyone through.
They tell me I was chosen to help watch over and guide the people of ‘Midgard.’ I guess they want me to be some kind of god because I’m 'fearless with a truly pure heart.’
I don’t want to be a god.  I don’t want to watch over earth.  I don’t want to spend an eternity here.
I want to go home.
I just… Want to go home…

6

LET ME TELL YOU WHY THIS MOMENT IS GREAT FOR ME.

Demand is watching Usagi holding off the entire planet of Nemesis from crashing into the Earth and realizing, holy shit, no matter what they do, they can never beat that kind of power, that the Silver Crystal will always just bore right through their plans.

The power that’s based on what’s in Usagi’s heart, literally the power of her love, is what Demand realizes they can never beat.  She’s defending and protecting everyone, she’s not destroying anything, she’s doing the opposite, and that is what they can never defeat, that is what they’ll always lose to.

This is why this type of magical girl manga/anime is so satisfying for me, because we see love and protectiveness being the most powerful force, that it’s the opposite of using that power to destroy things (Sailor Moon does sometimes destroy things, but more importantly she heals and protects, in this moment we see her defending rather than attacking) and a character who has tried to blame her for everything that’s not her fault, who has tried to kidnap and assault her, who has tried to take everything of her by force, realizes he can’t win because the power of her heart is stronger than anything he can throw at her.