me&edward

anonymous asked:

How do the Rogues get along cooped up in Arkham?

the gotham rogues in arkham is so wild lmao…. all the normal rules of engagement are OFF

*

edward isn’t allowed puzzles or that many games in arkham and the ones he is allowed he finds SO BORING so he starts finding new ways to keep himself occupied.

like literally ivy will walk past him in the cafeteria one day shoving straws up his nose and be like, “what the fuck are you doing?” 

and edward will just turn to her with like a dozen straws shoved up either nostril and a deadly serious look on his face and say, “challenging my intellect, dear.” 

*

harley: i wanna watch adventure time!
harvey: tough shit, cutthroat kitchen is on next!
harley: give me the remote, fryface!” *trying to wrestle the remote out of two-face’s hand
jonathan: why don’t you just read a book-
harley + harvey: NO ONE ASKED BITCH

*

if something goes missing in arkham it’s most likely some asshole has taken it. harvey just barrels into the rec room one day seething

“RIGHT WHERE IS IT?” 
“where’s what?” 
“MY COIN YOU JACKASSES I KNOW YOU HAVE IT”
snickering but no one owns up, orderlies/guards looking kinda worried but also kinda amused. 
“WHERE IS IT?!?!”
“I’LL GO TO THE WARDEN, I SWEAR.”
suddenly stops yelling, gets an evil smile on face and narrows eyes, “they’ll take the TV away.”
harvey starts walking towards the door and like four rogues tackle him to the ground at once. biting, kicking, scratching and punching ensues. 

after it’s all over ivy just walks up calmly to him and drops it in his hand, “you dropped it on the floor of the cafeteria this morning.”

*

harley and ivy are gay as shit all the time, not even subtle about it. just like holding hands and staring longingly into each others eyes and all that soppy shit. it’s infuriating for anyone who’s third wheeling. 

“so guys i have a plan to bust out- guys? guys…. guys please - guys, stop being gay for like 5 min and listen to my plan.”

*

art therapy is a mess.

doctor: draw something that represents ur innermost feelings

obvs ur gunna get the really dark shit but:

  • joker draws himself in a wedding dress being carried off by batman. 
  • edward draws himself in question mark speedos and a Hawaiian shirt sitting on a pile of money on a beach with the words I AM THE BEST over the top.
  • ivy draws the rogues and batfam dead at her feet, flowers growing out of the bodies while she stands on top of the pile triumphantly holding hands with harley.
  • harley just draws some kittens and puppies and a bunch of love hearts and jester diamonds. 
  • jonathan draws a scarecrow in a dark field surrounded by a bunch of crows with sharp teeth in the beaks and the words might as well be dead. no one is surprised. [harvey voice] why you gotta be so emo crane?
  • victor draws himself and nora on their wedding day and harley bursts into tears and tries to hug him.

*

doctor: edward, please can you call jonathan over for me?
edward: sure
edward: JONAAAAAATHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNN
doctor: for gods sake
jonathan: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT?
doctor: i don’t know what i expected 

*

gotham rogues: [are arguing in group therapy as per usual]
doctor: excuse me, who’s the doctor here? 
jonathan: me
harley: me too
ivy: i am as well
victor: technically i am too
edward: i have multiple doctorates, i’ll have you know
doctor: [face palming] i don’t get paid enough to deal with this shit
gotham rogues: we know

2

Idk but this photo reminds me of Edward Cullen wtf 😐
He just need glitter on his abs and he look like a twilight vampire .

I feel like if the rogues ever got in a fight with each other but didn’t want to have shoot outs or extreme violence they’d passive aggressively call the police on each other like

‘GCPD, what’s your emergency?’

‘Hello? Yes, I’d like to inform you that Edward Nigma is going to rob the Gotham City Bank at 8 pm tomorrow.’

'Alright, and what’s your name?’

'This is Jonathan Crane.’

’…sir, is this a prank call?’

Sibling Intervention (Jasper Hale x Reader) w/Brother! Emmett

Plot: Hi I really liked your Jasper imagine so can you do another one where you’re his newborn mate, and the wolf pack are coming over to help train and him and Emmett get protective over you? Like the whole “I’m your big brother and I’m supposed to keep you away from the mutts” kinda thing lol. Thank uuuu” (requested)

Word Count: 1,275

Warnings: I think some swearing, but other than that, none.

A/N: this was really fun to make, I’m actually kinda proud if this one! Thanks to the anon that requested this! I hope you like it.

I was standing next to Jasper who was grabbing my hand and squeezing it at times to reassure me and I knew that he was trying to calm me down and it was working perfectly as I was no longer nervous or afraid.

“Well, Jasper has experience in newborns, he will teach us how to defeat them” Carlisle’s calm voice sounded through the forest, he was standing a little bit further than us facing the wolves who just came.

Silence surrounded us once again but Edward’s voice filled the empty space quickly.

“They want to know how a newborn is different than us”

Carlisle turned a little and looked at me smiling a little like if he was asking if it was okay to introduce me, I just nodded.

“Well, we happen to have one with us today” He positioned himself next to me and place a hand on my shoulder “This is (Y/N), she is Jasper’s mate, our newest member of the family, hence why her eyes are different from us but don’t worry, she is transitioning and will be just like us soon”

“They still want to know the difference, they say she looks just like us” I wasn’t even looking but I knew that Emmett was grinning on his spot; he was the one that enjoyed the most me being a newborn and having my strength.

Carlisle looked at Jasper and motioned him to continue speaking while he left to go back next to Esme; Jasper nodded and moved a little closer but still holding my hand.

“She is stronger than us; her blood is still on her tissues making her more physically powerful. Our kind is stronger on our first several months of this life, that’s why they are created” he looked at me and gave me a side smile “not in her case though” he looked again at the wolves “a newborn army doesn’t need thousands like a human army, that’s why no human army could stand against them”

The black wolf that was standing right in from of me growled, his eyes never leaving mine. Jasper noticed that so he moved to a side pushing me slightly backward but I was still close to him.

“There are two important things that you have to remember” he raised his voice a bit “First, never let them get their arms around you, they will crush you in a second” he looked around giving a warning look to our family but turned back to see the wolves “and never go for the obvious kill, they will be expecting that and you’ll lose”

He quickly turned and grabbed my hand again but left me next to Edward as he kept walking forward to the center of the forest.

“Emmett” he simply called and in a second Emmett was standing a couple of meters away from him but still facing Jasper. “Don’t hold back”

“Not in my nature” he said and grinned at Jasper before launching himself onto him but in a couple of seconds, Emmett was lying on the floor, his face facing the sky.

“Never lose focus” he cockily said while moving aside from him and coming to my side to snake his arm on my waist and pulled me closer to him. “Prepare yourself, babe, you are next”

I only smiled in anticipation, I loved wrestling, I became one of my favorite hobbies once I turned, and it just was really fun for me. Even though I knew he wasn’t completely okay with the fact that I was fighting today it was just to train, I knew he wouldn’t let me participate when the actual fight took place, so I just wanted to have fun.

Edward and Carlisle were fighting intensely, neither of them backing off; Jasper let go of me and started walking around them inspecting every movement, but at the end, Edward was the clear winner and turned to see Jasper.

“One more thing” he said and in an instant Carlisle grabbed Edward and pushed him onto the ground and I couldn’t help but laugh at this. “Never turn your back on the enemy”

Jasper made his way to the center and spoke to everyone once again.

“Okay, so now that we got the basics covered, it’s time for a real newborn to step in” He said and turned his head to look at me, giving me a cocky smile which I returned with a huge grin. I knew this was going to be extremely easy for me, but anyway it was fun. I made my way next to him, and he cupped my face with one hand and looked at me profoundly before walking away next to the rest of the family.

I turned and looked at Rosalie, bringing my hand up and pointing my fingers at her I motioned her to come with me, she slowly made her way towards me with her arms crossed against her chest.

Once she was close enough I nodded and she quickly threw two punches at me which I easily dodged them taking my opportunity to grab her arm and twisted it forcing her body to twist as well but she felt to the ground crouching in one leg and tried to make me fall with the leg that was stretched but I jumped before it could even touch me, and before my feet touched the ground I pushed my hand over her chest making her fall flat on the ground, making a small crater when she hit the ground.

“You can’t still beat me, Rose” I laughed at her while she was standing up, she just gave me a ‘fuck off’  look and made her way back to her spot.

“Emmett, your turn” Jasper called out and in a quick second I had Emmett in front of my with a shit eating grin that made me laugh.

“Please don’t you dare to hold back, big boy” I purred to him tilting my head a little. He cracked his neck just to show off but his face changed almost immediately making me furrow my eyebrows together.

“Wait a minute” he said raising a hand like stopping everything and stared into nothing as if he was thinking to himself “I’m your big brother (YN)” he suddenly stated and I couldn’t be more confused.

“Well, yeah…” I trailed off, not really sure where he was trying to say.

“I’m not supposed to encourage you into fighting, even less with the mutts” he spat and looked at me with a serious face “Goddammit, I’m your big brother!” he stated again but now shouting and I looked at the rest of the clan but they all had the same face, they were staring at Emmett with a confused grin like I was. “We are done, missy, you are going home”

In less than a second, I was thrown into his shoulder like a sack of potatoes and he was walking away from everyone.

“Wait, what the actual fuck, put me down!” I tried to wiggle out but even if I was stronger this position didn’t help me at all, and all I could do was to give up and just look back where Carlisle was standing next to Jasper shouting to Emmett.

“Emmett, bring her back, we need her!” Carlisle shouted at us.

“Sorry, I can’t hear you!” and with that, he started running with me on his back.

We are going to be siblings, you said, it will be so fun, you said” I said but the only response that I had from him was a loud laugh; I sighed, I give up.

Date Night

Request: Hi! Can you do a short fluffy imagine for Jasper? Like maybe he and the reader go on a date and try to be a ‘normal’ couple or something like that, do it however you want! Thanks! 

Pairing: Jasper x human!reader

Summary: ‘normal’ date night for a rather abnormal couple 

Warnings: Suggestive things, fluff 

Originally posted by alwaysshamelessdeer

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