me whenever i see the boy i like

anonymous asked:

I have known I'm bisexual from a long time now, but in 2014 I was on an abussive relationship with another female, and it scared me deeply. So much that I'm scared of dating again, but mostly women. Whenever I start talking to a girl, and they start flirting with me I start to panic, and I simply end the conversation, I try not to be rude but I can't help it but to think that is my ex I'm talking to or someone she knows, I just don't feel safe anymore with women, (1/2)

(2/2) but I still feel attracted to girls. I never knew that can be possible, whenever I see a girl I like at first it’s like a normal crush but it quickly escalates to extreme fear, and it happens with boys too but just when things are getting serious is when the fear of suffering begins, and I ruin every potential relationship I have, I really don’t know what to do anymore. Being called “baby” triggers me, just like every flirty action or word, it makes me physically ill. I need help…


Hi Anon, 

I’m so sorry to hear what you’re going though. I’ve been where you are. Know that your reactions- the fear, the triggers, the attraction- all of it is normal. And it is perfectly okay to, regardless of attraction, decide not to date people of a certain look or body type based on how it reminds you of past trauma. 

But if it is something you want to work to move past, here are my suggestions: 

  • 1. Know your triggers.

It sounds like you are already doing this. It is so important to know what triggers you and what doesn’t so you can avoid ones you aren’t ready to address and monitor/control your exposure to those you are ready to or capable of dealing with. There are many resources online focusing on how to address specific types of triggers which after a certain point are far more useful than trying to simply eliminate all your triggers all at once. 

I think it would be helpful for you to identify exactly when the fear starts and why.  Is it at a certain time period (say, 3 weeks into dating) or is it related to a certain level of intimacy (say, after the first kiss, or the first deep conversation)? And what is it exactly that you are afraid of? Trauma trains our bodies to react in instinctual, knee-jerk ways. People survive trauma by reacting immediately to red flags; waiting to see how things turn out can sometimes put the person in a lot of danger. This reaction doesn’t stop once we’re in a safer place. Sometimes we may get scared because we project past red flags onto current people. For example, someone raising their voice doesn’t mean it will escalate into physical violence. But if your body has come to expect that violence, someone raising their voice will elicit the same fear as the physical violence itself creates. When our bodies feel that fear, it can help to take a step back and think logically. 

Ground yourself by going over the facts of your current situation. Is the person you have a crush on actually showing the same red flags as your ex? What are your resources to deal with something like that now, as opposed to in the past? Is it genuinely likely that the person you’re talking to knows your ex and is actively contacting them about you?

  • 2. Communicate your triggers.

You don’t have to go through this alone. You also don’t have to reveal every detail about what you’ve been through, if you don’t want to. You’re allowed to be uncomfortable with things without having to explain yourself. But it is really important to let people know how you’re feeling and what they can do to help, for your sake and theirs. 

 For example: “I don’t like being called baby. How about sweetheart?”

“I do like you, but when you [insert flirty action], it’s a little bit too much/ too fast for me.” 

“I’m a little nervous. Can we take this slow?” 

 More explicit examples: “My ex called me baby. Please don’t call me that.” “I’ve been through some stuff, so I need to take this slow.” “I don’t mean to be rude, but I am feeling triggered right now and I am going to take some space.”

  • 3. Move at a pace that is right for you.

If you push yourself to do too much too fast, it can actually intensify your triggers as your body fights back against it. Be patient with yourself. Some wounds really do need time to heal. 

It’s also possible you just haven’t met the right people yet, or you’re not in a stable enough situation yet. Maybe the type of relationship you need right now will look different from the types of relationships you’ve had in the past. All of that is okay. You might be worried about “scaring away” partners by being open about your past and present. I cannot stress enough that a good person, a good partner, and a good match for you will respond positively to these messages. If someone cannot handle taking things at your pace and making an effort to ensure you feel comfortable and safe, they are not a good partner and they are definitely not what you need right now.

 These are all reasonable things to expect from a partner regardless of whether one has been through trauma or not. I feel for what you’re going through and remember you’re not alone. We at BWSN are always here for you! 

Love&Support,
conceptual-bisexual

there’s a cute boy at work and we sit diagonal from each other and whenever anything weird happens - which is a lot bc we work on a ghost hunting show - i make faces at him and he has started doing the same thing but we don’t talk otherwise. anyway. ive started watching the office in a tiny tab while i do work and i KNOW he sees what im watching when he walks by. im laying the groundwork for some hardcore subliminal mind games ya’ll

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!

If you haven’t already, go read this oneshot by @azapofinspiration ASAP!! (see what I did there?  hur hur hur XD)  *high fives Chat Noir*

Author’s Note: So I wanted to write something for Halloween and I had the great idea of Adrien dressed as Sailor Moon. Whenever I see fan art crossing Miraculous with Sailor Moon, he’s usually shown as Tuxedo Mask, but I’m like, “This boy was born to be a magical girl. He’d totally be Sailor Moon herself.”

The fact that Adrien made Plagg dress up as Luna even though he would be the only one who would even know it totally slays me and is SOOO in character.  XD

P.S.  I’ll post the making-of video either later today or tomorrow ^^

is his name yuri or yuuri

im sure this has crossed everyones minds before but like, where did yuuri even come from? in the show many times weve seen it spelled yuri and come on its in the title of the show

exhibit a

this is like very VERY solid proof this cannot be any subs or anything like that come on

exhibit b

exhibit c

or this show just cannot spell names right because

oh boi it’s yuri katuki

like whenever i see it tagged victuuri im like should i tag it that or is it only one u jesus christ

can someone who’s more knowledgeable tell me about this lmao because i have no clue

confidence. I honestly forget baekhyun struggles with his own confidence, because we so often see him up there on stage; doing what he loves the most. I’m reminded whenever he makes himself seem small or when he talks in a whisper like voice. I was reminded today, because even though he belted out those high notes and was being his cute self, he also didn’t show his face or wanted anyone to re-upload. and it truly baffle me that this boy, who’s part of korea’s most successful boy group. this boy who’s the most popular member of this group. - sometimes struggles with being insecure. but I also understand that this is exactly why he sometimes feel like that too. so I ask you guys to always and I mean ALWAYS, leave encouraging comments on baekhyuns sns. he does so much for us and I just wants him to be happy.

remember that girl who said she wants a boy who would bring her a glass of water in the middle of the night & folks was roasting her for about how her standards are too low, sayin “the bar is too low”

& she turned out to be an abuse victim

i think about that alot because it seems like alot of girls who gas boys for doing the bare minimum are abuse victims or theyve just experienced alot of cruelty from men in their life. and they really want even a small gesture of affection. which is okay btw. its alright to be flattered by the little things

it makes it worse since now i see those “the bar is too low” jokes alot

and whenever i see those jokes it makes me so uncomfortable cause im an abuse victim who has always received cruel treatment from men that i would be flattered if someone i loved actually

little gestures matter to alot of abuse victims please do not intentionally make jokes about that

also most those “the bar is too low” jokes are made by grown men towards young girls so…

BTS Reaction to their baby crying when they pick him/her up

This was requested by an anonymous user. Hope you enjoy! ~Admin Unnie

Jin: “Fine I’ll just pick up your brother” *sets daughter and picks up her twin* “See? He likes me!” *argues with baby*

Originally posted by myloveseokjin

Yoongi: *hands daughter off to closest person* “I ain’t dealing with that”

Originally posted by mionevy

Hoseok: “She hates me! I have failed as a father!”

Originally posted by sugaswagdaddy

Namjoon: *refers to his parenting books to get his daughter to stop crying* *gets Jimin to help*

Originally posted by taegiguk

Jimin: *gets really sad and quiet because he thinks his son hates him*

Originally posted by jikookedlife

Taehyung: *immediately does everything he can to get his son to smile which doesn’t take long*

Originally posted by taespecial

^^pretend he’s holding a boy

Jungkook: “She’s crying. What do I do? SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT TO DO!!”

Originally posted by fyeahbangtaned

Rant  about Namjoon Smut!

Okay, I have to say this! I’ve talked about it before but I feel like I need to talk about it again! 

Whenever I read Namjoon smut (yes, I sin as well, I’m human :D) he is always DADDY AF or he calls his partner a slut/a whore or he’s extremely aggressive. 

Keep reading

tbh it bugs me whenever i see ladybug written as overly harsh/dismissive towards chat. like…

  • have you seen the girl’s face when chat shows up? she’s all smiles and ‘boy, am i glad to see you’. it’s the same when he goes due to his timer running out, she smiles after his trail, and it’s just, so fond? 
  • when chat called her out on not listening to chloe, sure, she defended herself, but she didn’t dismiss chat’s words, didn’t lash out on him. in fact, she realized her mistake and apologized to chloe after the whole mess was cleaned up (also, did you notice how disheartened/concerned she looked when they didn’t do their fist-bumping routine?)
  • she truly believes that she and chat are partners, and has no problems admitting she needs his help e.g. simon says.
  • her reaction to chat’s sacrifice in chronogirl? i rarely saw her face so enraged. also, how she held him close to her? 
  • her reaction to volpina interacting with chat was very interesting. and by interesting i mean the girl was jealous. that gag-face? dude…
  • there’s no one in her civilian life that she banters (sometimes to a flirtatious degree) with like chat. it says something about how comfortable she feels with him. 

I’m sorry I’m bad at making eye contact and that I turn away from you when I get nervous, whenever I look at you I see the way your ex hurt you and I want to get close enough to crawl inside your heart and mend the god damn thing together, hoping you’d trust me enough to let me stay there.

I’ll dig my head into your blankets and cover my face and you’ll assume it’s because I don’t like looking at you, although you’re the kind of perfect the shade of blood red could be compared to, you just make me nervous and my heart starts to beat faster than the hit on the radio you know every word to.

We could blame each other for waiting for so long to come together, but we were both stuck on the edge of the highways curb with our eyes forced shut, trying to meet each other in the middle, both of us afraid of our bodies getting shattered by a car not wanting us to make it or that each other won’t be brave enough to take a step on to the road.

I want to yell and shake your body and tell you I won’t hurt you but at the same time I want to lay by your side and talk about music and how my favorite kind was when we made it with our tongues. Most of all when I spill out the courage to say how much I want you, I hope you can mean fully say you’d like it if I stayed too.

—  T.P.R
funny story

Way back in 7th grade english class, we got an old substitute teacher who did his very best to impress us students. He wasn’t successful, but he cracked jokes and made puns that would make everyone sigh in disappointment. That day we were working on poems, but since there was a substitute not much work was being done. I was slacking off by talking to the boy next to me. After a little bit he started jabbing me in the side as a joke and I started slapping his arm whenever he threatened to jab me again. So, the substitute sees this as a great chance to give us some fun “advice”. He says, “You know, when a boy messes with a girl like that, it means he has a crush on her.”

Everyone in the class went wild with laughter and the boy and I started gagging. Because we are twins.

The teacher was mortified when we told him and he turned really red in the face. He didn’t try to impress any of the students anymore, that’s for sure!

i went through my old leafy posts today and it got me all emotional. like i was just thinking about how fucking happy that boy made me and how i would type in the leafyishere tag all excited to see new posts because the fandom was so alive. i got to interact with loads of cool people and the fandom was just so unique.
the drama was always fun and we made fun of the twitter fandom whenever they came for us and it was just so good ugh.
i’d get so excited to watch his videos and i had his notifications on. all the old rant videos were so good.
shjssuhd and i miss how we’d all freak out over selfies or facecam videos and make shitty edits wtf wtf wtf i’m so sad we all died
fuck!!!!! i miss it, his old content, the people in the fandom, the posts and everything else. it all made me so happy and now that’s just kinda gone???? this whole post is cringy but i’m in my feels rn

I’d be lying if I said I didn’t think about Hogwarts AUs a lot, but something that’s been bugging me lately is whenever I see the core four sorted (or the boys at least, Cassie is mysteriously absent a lot), Bart usually ends up in Hufflepuff.

Which is ridiculous, really, as everyone knows that every Allen that’s gone to Hogwarts for the past 600 years has been in Ravenclaw.

With Bart in particular, I feel like the only thing people remember, that showcased how smart he really was, was that time in the terrible 03 Teen Titans series where he read a library before becoming Kid Flash. While that was certainly a thing that happened, there were also two separate times that Bart taught someone another language (he taught Jenni to speak English, and Max to speak Interlac), not to mention the library research bit from one of the earliest Impulse issues.

In it, Bart is supposed to be using his library time to find out three facts about France, but instead of going through the books available to him, he decides to just go to France to find out in person. Because that’s the thing about Ravenclaws. A Ravenclaw is a person who goes beyond the book for their knowledge. Sure Bart remembers everything he reads, but it’s more satisfying for him to learn by doing. Remember when he and Jenni learned to play instruments on the fly through trial and error? That’s some Ravenclaw shit. 

That’s literally the door riddle, now that I think of it. The point of the common room door riddle is to think outside the box and learn something. You’re only allowed to try once and if you get it wrong, you have to wait on the next person to try. So they learn from your mistakes and do better. Because the pursuit of knowledge doesn’t start or end in a book, you have to get out there and ask questions. Do things!

Bart is so, so smart, but not in a way that people are used to. His way of thinking, of doing things, has so many different steps compared to what other folks do, but he’ll usually get to the right answer, anyway.

Gee, it’s like he was an allegory for people with ADHD or something. Cough.

anonymous asked:

are u ok?? what happened??

well it’s definitely just that I have a mom who

- forces me to wear whatever she wants me to wear
- thinks being gay is a phase and thinks that lesbians automatically fuck every girl they come in contact with, she literally told me to stop having sex with girls when I never have.
- literally hates the idea of having mentally ill kids in her home :))) calls me retarded for being all depressed n shit and you know the mentally ill kid I am lololol
- criticizes me for every single fucking thing SHE doesn’t like, and calls it retarded
- literally wanted to force me to see boys after I made implications that I’m a lesbian after all the years of “you better not have a boyfriend!!”
- literally makes everything about her and whenever I wear something that’s not up to HER standards or HER likes I’m an embarrassment to be any wear near her
- is so stubborn and gets fucking angry when I disagree or prove her wrong
- threatens to slap/hit me every time I defend myself
- threatens to take my shit away for stupid ass reasons like the clothing thing
- makes it obvious that she hates my career choices bc she wants me to make money for her
- completely degrades me as an artist and only supports it when SHE wants to show off
- threatens to destroy my art and supplies when things don’t go her way :^)
- tells me art as a career is stupid and literally shows annoyance when I talk about my passions as an artist
- her calling me stupid and ridiculous for any minor inconvenience is not rare :D

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soo i saw what happened and decided to respond to that, sorry i came a little late

i also have a bonus:

yep its me hugging wade and trying to comfort him, i wanted to do this and so i decided to draw this.

just so you know, whenever she goes to a different universe or dimension, she will be like this cause shes a spirit and she cant be seen for shes a ayumu meaning no one will see her unless its necessary, she can only be seen unless she wants to, for this she didn’t want to be seen by the crowd and everyone else…

i’m so sorry wade….

lets all give him some love for the poor boy

@ask-spiderpool.

It’s scaries me whenever I see Eric and Dylan in the cafeteria with guns and bombs on the day of the massacre and I feel like “This isn’t them” “I can’t believe they turn out to be this way”

Like Dylan was such a sweet boy and he was there for his friends and Eric was pretty chill and had a sense of humor. Both of them were victims of bullying. Both of them felt unloved and not being accepted by society & their peers.

I just see in horror whenever I see them in the cafeteria, throwing bombs and holding their guns and I’m like I can’t believe it’s them.

a-smol-snake  asked:

Whenever I see you as a disney princess & then as Sirius. All I can think of is AVPS: "I was expecting a woman, instead we got a sexy man" (except you are somehow beautiful as a boy and a girl)

Bit cute ;) Actually, fun fact: When I was super young used to get really upset (to the point of crying, sometimes,) because people would tell me I looked like my dad, I thought it meant actually I looked like a boy.

Originally posted by thesouffleregent

anonymous asked:

The things sana said are literally the excuses that I always say to my cousins or friends whenever they ask me about being so into girl groups instead of boy groups; excuses like "I wanna be like them", "follow the way they dress", etc when actually I'm GAY AF for them and I'm just locking myself up in the closet. Therefore I pretty much see myself when i see sana 🙄🙄

Honestly the more I think of it, the more I think Sana was trying to out herself to us (the gays/queers) but still keep herself hidden from the Straights. To the Straights, it’s sort of a normal thing to say because it follows their bullshsit idea that "all women are competitive with each other" which is a problem for another day. But people like us, who have experienced the closest have immediately picked up on what Sana is saying and identified with it.

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