me this past two days


midweek therapy sessions pt 1


_ Big brother… I miss the trees..
_ I know, my Mischa…
_ D’you think we will see poppies again?
_ I don’t know

_ Big brother..
_ Yes?
_ I’m hungry.



Don’t take away my Mischa


Part 22 - Part 23 - Part 24

I hope you all have a lovely day! Do me a favor and make sure you take a few minutes to think of at least 5 things that you like about your self. It can be hard sometimes, but Radical Self Love is so important, especially in such a tough world. Take care of yourselves, you deserve it. x

she likes to be kissed softly during romance movies. if you nibble down her neck and across her collar bones, she’ll melt into you. she will stop to pet every single dog, and would adopt every kitten if she could. she likes ice cream in most flavors and will eat it out of the bin if you let her - and you should let her. she likes it when you point out nice plants and give her pretty things like pebbles and grass rings. she gets sleepy somewhere around noon. she likes looking at the sky. i think she is in love with the moon.

she used to be in love with me, too.

when you kiss her forehead, tell her that her hair smells nice. tell her that the fleck in her eye is beautiful. tell her that her freckles and scars are treasure maps, tell her that her tummy is the cutest thing you’ve ever seen. tell her your secrets, she’ll handle them perfectly. tell her that she’s a lighthouse, a garden full of daisies, a secret hiding place where time stops and things make sense, an ocean deep. tell her that she’s worth your whole being. tell her for me.

hold onto her the way i couldn’t. trust me, i know what i lost. give her the life she was waiting for, the one i couldn’t hand her. give her romance and fairy lights and laughter and curling up and quiet, give her art and music and wild, give her home. trust me, hold onto her.

i feel the ache of her absence as if she removed my soul.

—  so hold on for me // r.i.d


complete! i’ve wanted to do a jojo print FOREVER and of course it’d be my favorite boys. after 5000 years in the void i finally emerge with this. thanks to everyone who joined me in streaming this for the past two days! this’ll be available at j1 and my store at the next update. HAPPYー UREPPIー YOROPIKUNEー!!

Atletico National: Have asked for the cup final trophy to be rewarded to Chapecoense
PSG: Reportedly donating 40 million euros to Chapecoense
Cristiano Ronaldo: Reportedly donating 3 million euros to Chapecoense and families and friends of all those who lost their lives
Brazilian Clubs: Reportedly loaning players to Chapecoense
Real Madrid and Barcelona: Reportedly donating all the money raised from El Clasico to Chapecoense

Football is not just a game, it’s a whole community that supports each other and I’ve never been prouder to say that I am a part of this amazing group of people. I’ve never had such a heavy heart like I have had over the past days. It pains me that this tragedy happened. The world is cruel and unfair and no one on that plane deserved any of this. Last night when I went to sleep, I thanked God for letting me be healthy, privileged, and giving me more than I probably deserve. I never felt more grateful for my life because the truth is, you never know when it’s all going to end. You have to love every second you live and cherish every moment with your loved ones and thank God for your life. My thoughts go out to all the families and friends of our heroes from Chapecoense and I’m keeping them all in my prayers. Stay strong and Forca Chape 💚


Ignore my ugly mug, this was the week sent from Hell and our country’s lost its fucking mind. On a personal front I’ve opened up the shop for the past two weeks, waking up at 3am every day, and I am spent. None of that mattered in this moment because a Certified Angel graced me with her presence and swerved every single A. Morgan-jersey clad fan, signaling me out and stopping two security guards from pushing me away. I’ve cried so much these past two days both with my customers and my co-workers, friends and family, and yet - this woman and this team managed to make it one of the best nights of my life. Christen Annmarie Press, is golden. I know she always makes it a point to sign for fans with signs specifically for her, but the fact that she went WAY out of her way, and came ALL the way back to the end zone - that she technically wasn’t allowed to go to (as a USSF rep came running over immediately when he saw she was walking over to sign for me and asked her repeatedly to make her way towards the sidelines) I am absolutely floored by your kindness and gratitude, and I have yet to catch my breath. I wish I had more than those 20 seconds to have told you that you deserve that starting spot, and to keep fighting - it’s yours for the taking. Seeing her in action tonight only solidified my love and appreciation for what an all-around special player she truly is and I hope that Jill Ellis f i n a l l y realizes it. Beyond that, this woman is intelligent and kind-hearted and brave. She has the brightest and warmest smile and no one deserves a night like tonight more than her. On a selfish note - I am so fuckin happy this happened in The Bay.


First Time in Italy happened😊 Milan was beautiful(: I loved being able to take beautiful pictures with no effort on my part because the scenery speaks for itself. The EMA’s were amazing..but I think exploring the culture was what satisfied me most these past two days😊 TI AMO ITALIA

Watching bride and prejudice is so conflicting. Bc you see the couples that are gay/lesbian/interracial being rejected by their families and you feel real pain for them. You see them crying bc their families don’t accept them/their partners for how they were born, and I think it’s great that Australian tv is showing how that kind of bigotry affects people.
But then they show Courtney and brad and see that they scream at each other about hypothetical strippers. Plus they’re in the show bc one of the mums doesn’t think it’s right for an immature 18 year old to get married.
you just end up thinking hmmm. Maybe the parent is right on this one and they shouldn’t get married hey.

Thank you to everyone that has sent me kind messages. I really appreciate them all and I just wanted to make a mass post about it because I don’t have the energy to reply to everyone.

I know I said yesterday would be the last update but…yesterday was really hard. In all of my life experiences I don’t think I’ve ever had such a terrible day. The news of my aunt’s passing was really hard to take in. No one expected that she would pass away. Somehow, through it all we had faith that she would recover. She just wasn’t the type of person that deserved this. She was the most caring individual I had ever met and she just didn’t deserve any of it. I’m so angry and sad all at once. It doesn’t feel real. My heart aches but my mind is constantly thinking about it all not being real. I don’t want it to be. I want to wake up tomorrow and know she’s there. That it was all a misunderstanding. For me, for her son and daughter, for my mom and the rest of her siblings, for my grandmother, for us all. It wasn’t her time and deep in my soul I ask myself if there was anything else we could possibly do.

Yesterday I received the news from my father through the phone. I could hear my mother sobbing in the background. At the time I was home alone and I just broke down. About 30 minutes later my parents were back home and my mother couldn’t even make it up the stairs alone. She was hysterical. As time went on my mother began to have a panic attack. Her whole body was trembling, her hands were getting stiff, her breathing was completely off and her crying…it was heartbreaking. She slipped in and out of consciousness as we tried to check her blood pressure while attempting to calm her down. That was only one of the three or four panic attacks she had that day. Each as terrifying as the last as she slipped in and out of consciousness for brief seconds at a time. We were close to taking her to the emergency room but were luckily able to calm her down for the rest of the day. Our family friends that came to visit and pay their condolences would trigger her attacks each time they cried.

To top that off the hospital refused to give us her body unless the family paid a huge lump sum of money, more money than any average person could possibly give. It was a huge worry for hours not knowing if we would be able to get her back. Our family had to call out to as many people as we possibly could to please help us. Everyone literally gave as much as they possibly could and luckily by around 7 pm our family was able to receive her body from the hospital.

My mother took a flight back over there and my aunt was laid to rest this afternoon. The pain we are all feeling right now is just too much. We’re all just looking in ourselves for the strength that we so desperately need.

Love in Every Stitch (Jumin x MC)

It begins getting colder, so you make Jumin a handmade sweater to help keep him warm.

Word Count:555

-In honor of me waking up these past two days and nearly shrieking from the cold, I decided to do this! I hope you enjoy! Thank you! 


You finished wrapping the small bow around the box, a smiling brightening your face as you were done. 

It would be a perfect gift.

You had been working on it for weeks, pride swelling inside of you at the finished product.

“He’s going to love it! Don’t you think Elizabeth?” You turned your head towards the cat as she tapped her paws curiously at the ribbon. She meowed at the sound of her name, her eyes glancing at you.

“I think so too!” You replied, stroking her lightly. 

As though on cue, the front door to your home opened, revealing your husband. 

Jumin slipped off his coat,rubbing his hands together. 

You shot up, rushing to hug him as you welcomed him.

His skin was colder than ice.

Yet he lit up at the sight of you as though a comforting fire was placed in front of him.

“How was work?” You asked. 

“We’re beginning to work on winter-themed items. There was a bit of a fight between some of the branches over sales but nothing got too out of control.” He softened his voice, entwining his hands with yours. “How was your day?”

“Oh, great!” You said. “I actually just finished making something for you!” 

“For me?” He cocked his head to the side, his eyes widening in surprise. “Love, you didn’t need to-”

“Oh don’t start with that I was more than happy to do this!” You huffed. “You should always know that I have no problem doing these things for you.” 

He sighed, pressing his lips to your forehead tenderly. “You’re absolutely amazing.” He hummed, chuckling as your cheeks became doused in pink. “So, what is this thing you’ve been working on?” 

You led him to the living room, the two of you sitting down in front of the present. “Here!” 

He couldn’t help but grin at the little box, Elizabeth 3rd still playing with the ribbon. 

He slipped off the lid, holding back laughter as Elizabeth squeaked as her new toy moved.

She was enamored, to say the least.

But your attention was set on him.

You could hardly hide your anticipation, your fingers tapping eagerly against the carpet. 

Jumin leaned over and pulled out the present, his grin widening from ear to ear as it unraveled in his arms.

It was a traditional holiday sweater, dark red with patterns of winter and of course, cats. 

“I know it’s cold out, so…what better way than with a sweater!” You snickered. “There’s love in every stitch.”

“I love it.” He exclaimed without hesitation, already putting it on. “It’s wonderful MC.” 

As he pulled it over his head, his hair became a flurry of messy strands, yet he couldn’t seem happier. 

“You look fantastic.” You cried, joy bursting from you like a firework. 

He pulled you into his arms, drenching your face in kisses. 

“This is the best gift I’ve ever received darling.” He cooed. “I adore everything about it, just like you.” 

still riding high from yesterday, i have new sheets on my bed, i’m taking the day off today and i’m going to do my shopping and do some cleaning too, i’ve got my two favourite seminars tomorrow, i’m also seeing some more theatre, i’m having dinner with my friends on saturday, and then we’re doing a run of the first three acts of macbeth on sunday! i’m so v lucky & embarrassingly emo about how happy i am and how far i’ve come from this time in 2016